Calling The Question by Evelyn (bookfan221209@yahoo.com) Summary: An unexpected meeting forces Donna and Josh to confront the future of their relationship. Disclaimer: Aaron Sorkins owns everything, except for Carolyn Moss, but I'd be happy if he wanted to include her in the show. Category: Romance, Josh/Donna Rating: YTEEN Author's Note: Thanks to Shelley for her careful, thoughtful, insightful reading of this story - and most especially for her encouragement. "Shrimp Kung Pao" "No, you can't have that. I'm getting shrimp with asparagus, so you have to get something else Josh. We can't have two shrimp dishes." "But I want Shrimp Kung Pao." "Josh." "OK, OK, get me Moo Shu Pork." Donna shook her head "No? I don't want that? Right, you don't like Moo Shu Pork. OK, tell me. What do 'I' want to eat?" "Chicken with garlic sauce." "Fine," Josh laughed. "But two spring rolls." "Why two?" "Because I've never eaten more than a quarter of one since I met you. Just order one for yourself this time." Donna shook her head again and smiled, "I don't think I want one." "That's what you say every time we order Chinese food." "No, no, I'm sure I don't want a spring roll tonight. But can't I talk you into leaving these hallowed halls and venturing into a restaurant where you actually eat off a plate. I'm so tired of white paper cartons," Donna pleaded. "Not tonight, Donna. I've got yet another endless meeting with Bruno at 10. But I swear that tomorrow night we can go anywhere you want," Josh offered. Donna's face lit up as she reached for the Zagat's Guide to Washington, D.C. restaurants. "Within reason, Donna, and within walking distance of the White House. We'll still have to come back after dinner." "Two hours, Josh. Promise me at least two hours and....and I get to order dessert. Maybe even two," Donna countered. "OK, two hours and one dessert." "Deal. Pinky swear, Josh?" Donna held up the pinky finger of her right hand. Josh snorted and said, "Pinky swear, Donna? What are we, in third grade?" "Pinky swear, Joshua, I don't trust you," Donna laughed, still holding up her finger, as she reached for the ringing telephone. "Josh Lyman's office." Donna's face fell and she lowered her hand. "Hi Amy." Josh immediately began shaking his head no, mouthed the words, "I'm not here," and walked away from Donna's desk. "Let me speak to Josh," Amy said without any pleasantries. "I'm sorry, he's not available. May I take a message?" Donna asked. "Right, that's always so helpful. Have you even given him any of my other messages?" Amy snapped. "Yes, every single one. I'm sorry, Amy. Josh is really busy with the campaign," Donna began. "Save the party line for someone who's buying it," Amy replied. "I'll tell him you called," Donna said, trying to keep her voice even. "Listen, Ms. Moss, I don't know what kind of game you're playing," Amy started. "Excuse me?" Donna answered, her voice rising. "Cut the crap. Just what kind of work were you doing on Sunday night at his apartment?" Amy's voice dripped with sarcasm. "As a matter of fact, we were working on the energy initiative," Donna started to explain, then stopped. "But how did you know..?" Donna's voice trailed off. "Funny, we didn't call it work when I was spending hours in Josh's apartment. Just have him call me," Amy taunted and then slammed down the phone. Donna stood for a second, hands shaking, then replaced the receiver into the handset. She thought for a moment and then stormed into Josh's office. "That's it, no more. Marry her, break it off, do whatever you want to do, but I don't want to hear from Amy Gardner again. Got it?" Donna yelled. Josh looked embarrassed and raised his hands in front of his face as if to protect himself. "I know, I'm sorry. I thought she'd get the message already, but..." "But you're waiting for her to break up with you, right Josh?," Donna continued, her voice rising. "Yeah," Josh answered, looking down at the floor. "Just grow up, Josh. I'm not doing your dirty work for you anymore." "I'm sorry, really I am," Josh said, reaching out for one of Donna's hands. "I shouldn't have put you in the middle." Donna looked at him in surprise. Apologies were rare from Josh Lyman. She then looked at his face and could tell he was embarrassed and worried that he'd pushed her too far. "You'll handle it? Today?" She asked, her voice more normal. "Yes, I promise after the meeting with Bruno I'll call her and make it clear that we're through. I thought things were pretty obvious the night of the First Lady's birthday party. They certainly were for me. I haven't seen her since." Josh hesitated, and then looked at Donna and said, "She never was...I never felt...it was just at that time..." his voice trailed off as he looked down. "Ok," Donna said softly. "Just do it, Josh." Then smiled and added, "I'll order the food and meet you in the Roosevelt Room in about twenty minutes." "Thanks," Josh let out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. He turned to get the folders he needed for his next meeting. "Wait, just one thing. How did Amy know we worked at your apartment on Sunday night?" Donna asked. "I have no idea," said Josh, looking confused. "Is there any more duck sauce?" "For 'my' spring roll, Donna?" Josh asked with a smirk. "I don't think they sent enough duck sauce," Donna pouted, reaching for the last piece of spring roll on one of the paper plates spread out on the conference table. "Don't even think about it," Josh warned playfully, grabbing hold of Donna's wrist as she started to take the morsel to her lips. "What?" Donna asked innocently. "I didn't get even a single bite of it tonight," Josh complained with a smile. "You want some?" Donna asks with one eyebrow arched. "Donna!" Josh laughed and started to pull her hand to his mouth just as there was a knock on the door. Josh and Donna froze and turned to look as Abbey Bartlet walked in, followed by Amy Gardner. Josh dropped Donna's hand as they both leapt to their feet. "Good evening, Mrs. Bartlet," Josh said hesitantly, and nodded. "Amy. Can I help you?" "Josh, Donna," Abbey said with a smile. "Leo said we could find you in here. I hope we're not interrupting." "We've got a late meeting with Bruno and were just grabbing something to eat," Josh said, sweeping his hands across the table. "Do you need something?" "Amy tells me that there's a problem with the U.S. response to the international sanctions against legalized prostitution," Abbey began. "I'm surprised you'd say that, Amy," Josh answered cooly, "since you know that we settled that issue months ago." "J," Amy said with a smile, crossing the room and leaning in to kiss Josh on the lips. He turned his face so that her lips grazed his cheek. "There's still a lot of debate among the G-8 countries on this issue, and with another conference set for next week in Amsterdam, I wanted to be sure that we all agreed on the language. If we can just have a few minutes of your time, I'm sure between Abbey, you, and me, we can get this resolved." "If this is a bad time," Abbey said, with a question in her voice, and looking carefully at Amy and Josh. "No, we have a few minutes," Josh said uncertainly. "Fine," Amy declared, turning to face Donna. "Would you get some coffee for Mrs. Bartlet, Josh, and me. You take yours black and decaf, don't you Abbey? So do I. But, Donna, Josh always drinks 100-proof and takes his with a splash of milk," she turned and smiled at Josh. "I don't want any coffee," Josh said quickly, looking at Donna, but he couldn't read her face. "Of course you do. You always have coffee after dinner. Like you, of all people, need an extra jolt of energy, but that's Josh," Amy smirked. "Donna, get some coffee for Josh."she demanded. Donna looked at Amy, then at Josh, and turned without a word and left the room. "Why don't we all sit down," Amy said, gesturing to Abbey to take a chair, and seating herself next to Josh. "You have a meeting with Bruno?" Abbey asked, trying to fill the silence. "Yes, to go over campaign strategy for Super Tuesday," Josh said stiffly. Just then, Donna came back with a tray of mugs, put one in front of Amy, and one in front of Abbey, who murmured her thanks. When she neared Josh, he reached out for the mug and said, "Thank you, Donna" trying to make contact with her eyes, but Donna refused to look directly at him. "If you'll excuse us, Donna," Amy spoke firmly. "This is going to be a policy discussion." Abbey quickly said, "I'm sure it would be helpful if Donna joined us." But Amy interrupted, "I'm sorry Abbey, but some of this information is privileged from the Women's Leadership Coalition." Still without saying a word, Donna looked directly at Amy, then turned on her heels and walked out the door, closing it behind her. Donna stood in the hallway and leaned against the wall fighting back tears. Then, after a few moments, she straightened up and muttered to herself, "Well that's never going to happen again." "Excuse me, Donna? What did you say?" Margaret, who was walking down the hall, stopped. She looked at her friend, who looked even paler than usual, and then asked, "Are you alright?" Snapping out of her reverie, Donna turned slowly and faced Margaret. After a few seconds, Donna got a determined look on her face and said simply, "I'm going home." "Are you sick?" Margaret asked anxiously. Without another word, Donna walked down the hall to her desk. "OK," Abbey said, after 30 minutes of discussion. "We're agreed on the language that the U.S. representative will use at the Amsterdam conference. "Yes, Ma'am," Josh said, looking at his watch for the fourth time since the two women had arrived. "It's the same language we agreed upon in November," he added, looking at Amy. Abbey stared at Josh and Amy, then stood, "Thank you for taking the time, Josh. I'm sorry we interrupted you and Donna during dinner. I know these are long days for both of you," she said firmly. "Thank you, Mrs. B," Josh smiled. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Abbey," Amy said. "Call my secretary, Amy. I'm very busy," and with that Abbey left the room. Josh waited until the door closed and then hissed, "What the hell was this all about?" Amy looked at him cooly and said, "You're not returning my calls." "I've been busy, Amy. I help to run the country and we're in the middle of a campaign." "Bullshit, J," Amy spat out. Josh fought for control. He took a deep breath and then said, "Look, you're right. I should have called back. I should have told you this just isn't working. I don't think it ever did." "If you break up with me, Josh, who'll be your cover story?" Amy replied. "What the hell does that mean?" Josh asked. "Oh, please. 'She's my assistant,' you whined when I asked you, 'What I do reflects on the President'," Amy imitated Josh's responses to her questions the first time they met regarding whether the rumors about him and Donna were true. Josh stared and started to object. Amy continued, "You dated me so no one would suspect that you're screwing your secretary. Sorry big boy, nobody makes Amy Gardner look like a fool." "I'm not..." Josh started to explain his relationship with Donna, but stopped and chose his words carefully. "You're wrong about Donna and me, but you're right about me using you and for that I'm sorry." "And you want us to remain friends, right?" Amy asked sarcastically. "We never were friends to begin with," Josh said quietly. "I've got to go," and he picked up his folders and walked out of the room. Josh walked out into the hall and started to turn towards the bullpen, when Margaret came running down the hall. "Josh," she called, "Leo needs to see you immediately." "I'll be right there," Josh started to explain, still heading towards Donna's desk. "Now, Josh. There's been a car bombing outside the American embassy in Argentina. Four Marines were killed." "Oh my God. OK, OK, I'm coming. I just have to see Donna and..." "Forget it, Josh. Donna went home 45 minutes ago," Margaret explained. "What do you mean she went home? Why?" "She didn't say. She looked very pale and just said she was going home. Now come on, Josh. Leo needs you working with the leadership and coordinating agency actions while he's in the Situation Room with the President," Margaret insisted. "Is she sick?" Josh asked as he turned and hustled down the hall with Margaret. "I don't know. I asked but she didn't answer," Margaret replied as they got to Leo's door. "Do you want me to call and check on her?" "Please, thanks," and Josh walked into Leo's office. CJ, Toby, and Sam were already in there discussing the possibility of calling the press back for a statement. After three hours, the situation was under control. The American Ambassador had expressed the U.S. government's outrage over the situation to the President of Argentina and had received assurances that those responsible would be found, arrested, and tried for murder. Josh had spoken to the heads of the FBI and CIA and arranged for undercover agents to be flown into the country to begin a U.S. investigation. He'd also arranged for the bodies of the dead Americans to be transported back to Dover Air Base where the Secretary of State would receive them with an honor guard. A memorial service would be held later in the week. Four times, Josh had walked out to Margaret's desk and asked if she'd heard from Donna, and each time, the answer was "No." At 11 p.m., Josh walked back into his office, picked up the phone and dialed Donna's home number. The answering machine clicked on and Josh said, "Donna, I'm sorry you're not feeling well. If you're in the shower or out getting medicine, call me as soon as you can. I'll still be in the office for another couple of hours." Fifteen minutes later, Josh picked up the phone and again dialed Donna's home number. Once more the answering machine picked up. "Donna, it's Josh. Pick up the phone, Donna, I need to talk to you." He paused for a second, then added, " I'm sorry about the coffee. Call me," and hung up the phone. Fifteen more minutes went by and Josh decided he'd call Donna on her cell phone, but got her voice mail instead. "Donna, it's me, Josh. Where are you? I'm getting worried. I know you're pissed at me and I don't blame you, but call me. I'm still at the office," then hung up, staring at the phone. He thought for a minute and dialed Donna's pager, and left his office number as a callback. It was after midnight, and Josh still hadn't heard from Donna. He dialed her home phone, and listened again to the same voice message, "This is Donna Moss. Sorry I'm not in, but I'd love to know you called. Leave me a message at the beep," and Josh began "I'm sorry, Donna. I know I have been the biggest idiot on the earth. I swear I'll never ask you for coffee again. In fact, I promise I'll never drink coffee again. Just call me Donna. I'm going home now, but I've got my cell. Call me Donna, we need to talk. I want to explain and apologize, grovel even," and with that he hung up the phone, picked up his backpack, and headed out to the bullpen. He wanted to drop off a folder on Ginger's desk, but stopped in his tracks when he saw what was sitting in the middle of Donna's desk. There were her cell phone and pager. "Shit," he swore under his breath. Shaking he picked up the pager and saw the ringer turned off and the message he'd left a few minutes earlier. He checked her cell phone and saw that the ringer was off on that too. He stood motionless, trying to decide what it meant that Donna had left without her cell phone and pager. He thought for a minute and started running. "I'm not sure this is a good idea, Josh," CJ said for the third time. "Maybe Donna just needs time to cool off. And I don't think I should be there when you make your abject apologies." Josh didn't take his eyes off the road. He was driving 15 miles over the speed limit and CJ prayed that they weren't pulled over since she didn't want a story in the next edition of 'The Washington Post' about two senior White House officials arrested for speeding through the streets of D.C. after midnight. "But something...something...not right, CJ. Donna left her cell phone and pager on her desk. We're never without our lifeline to the White House." CJ felt for her pager, which was on her waist, and knew Josh was right. It was part of the fabric of their lives. The White House had to be able to get in touch with them no matter where they were or what they were doing - in case of an emergency, just like what had happened that night. She didn't know what to make of Donna's decision to leave her cell phone and pager behind, and knew that Josh's nerves were so frayed that to speculate would only wind him up more. "I just need to know she's alright. If she doesn't want to talk to me, maybe she'll talk to you," Josh said softly as he pulled into a parking space in front of Donna's building. "Her roommate's out of town," Josh explained as they walked up the stairs. "Donna told me earlier in the week." Josh pushed the doorbell and waited for an answer. A minute passed and he pushed it again. When there was still no answer, he turned to CJ. "You've got the keys?" he asked. "I still feel funny about this," CJ objected, pulling out a key ring. The senior staff all had keys to each other's apartments. They picked up one another's mail and watered plants when one of them was out of town. The rest of the staff knew that if they depended on Josh, their mail would be stacked in their mailboxes and their plants dead from lack of water. Donna wasn't technically senior staff, but nonetheless had exchanged keys with them all. They all knew they could depend on Donna. "Why don't you use the keys Donna gave you?" CJ asked, opening the outside door of the building. They walked in and walked up two flights of stairs until they got to the door of Donna's apartment. "Because I left Donna's spare set at my place. I didn't want to waste time going back over there," Josh explained, waiting impatiently for CJ to open the door to Donna's apartment. They walked in, and Josh flipped on the lamp that sat on a table in the tiny foyer. The apartment was quiet, and CJ knew immediately that no one was home. She looked at Josh and shrugged her shoulders. "What now?" she asked. Josh headed for Donna's bedroom, while CJ walked into the kitchen where she saw a piece of paper on the counter next to the wallphone. "CJ, CJ," Josh called excitedly from the bedroom. CJ started back into the living room where she met Josh. "It's gone," Josh said flatly. "What's gone?" CJ asked. "Her suitcase. Her favorite duffel bag is gone. She keeps it under her bed and it's not there." "I think I know why," CJ said quietly. "Where is she?" Josh asked desperately. "I think she's home," CJ answered. "Where?" Josh demanded, looking around. CJ held out a piece of paper. "I found this in the kitchen." Josh took the paper and scanned it quickly. Written in Donna's distinct handwriting were the numbers 7:45 - 10:30. Josh looked up with quizzical eyes. "Where is she, CJ?" Josh whispered. "I think those are departure and arrival times. Josh. Donna went home just like she said. She's in Madison, Wisconsin," CJ said quietly. "Hey baby girl." "Mom," Donna dropped her bags, and walked into her mother's arms. It was almost midnight, and she was finally home. Carolyn Moss just held her daughter in a tight hug for several minutes and then stood back. "Come on into the kitchen, honey. Are you hungry?" she asked, walking with her arms around her daughter's shoulders. Donna shook her head and sat down at the round oak kitchen table. The same table where she'd done her homework fifteen years earlier. The same place she'd announced that she was dropping out of school to take a job and support Phillip, her new boyfriend. It was in that same seat where she told her mother, two years later, that she was leaving Phillip and going to New Hampshire to join the campaign of Governor Jed Bartlet. And tonight, Donna again sat in the chair and put her head down on her arms. Her mother put some water in the tea kettle, set it on the stove, turned on a flame, walked over to her daughter, and put her hands on Donna's shoulders. "Want to talk about it?" Carolyn asked quietly. "No," Donna whispered. "OK. Do you know how long you'll be here?" Carolyn asked. "I'm thinking of moving home, Mom. I need to get away from D.C., from..." but Donna didn't finish the thought. She was quiet for a moment and then said, "Maybe I'll get a job at the University and finally finish my degree," her voice muffled because her head was buried in her arms. The tea kettle whistled and Carolyn moved to turn it off and poured two mugs of chamomile tea. "Drink this. It will help you sleep," Donna sat up and took a sip. Carolyn leaned back to take a good look at her daughter, whose eyes were red and ringed by dark circles. "Been working a lot of late nights, Donnatella?" her mother asked. "We're in the middle of the campaign. The days are endless," Donna answered absentmindedly. "And the numbers seem to be coming back for your man, right?" "I think the turnaround was the State of the Union. President Bartlet was brilliant that night," Donna asserted. Then looked up and smiled at her mother. "I'm not angry with the President, Mom," she smiled weakly. "I didn't think you were," Carolyn answered with her own smile. "I'm guessing that boss of yours did something incredibly stupid, however," she continued. "It's not a matter of Josh being stupid," Donna interrupted. "Oh," Carolyn said quizzically, arching one eyebrow. "I just realized that the whole situation is hopeless and always will be. Tonight I finally snapped and said enough is enough." Donna took another sip of her tea. "Well, that's good, Donnatella. I don't want you to stay with someone who doesn't appreciate you." Donna's eyes started to fill up with tears. "Well he'd probably tell you that I'm the best damn assistant he's ever had, so I guess you could say he appreciates me, at least in some ways." She brushed the back of her hand over her cheeks, wiping away the tears that were trickling down. "Shhh, we'll talk more in the morning. Let's go to bed," Carolyn pulled her daughter up and walked to the door, flipping the light switch. In the darkness, Donna whispered, "I picked another loser, Mom. She made me bring him coffee tonight." "Who's she?" Carolyn asked. "His girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend, or I don't know what the hell she is anymore," Donna said angrily. "And did he want coffee?" Carolyn probed. "No. He knew it was a line that was being crossed, but he didn't say anything to stop the situation. I mean he tried to say he didn't want any coffee, but then Amy insisted that the First Lady wanted coffee and the whole thing was a mess." "Mrs. Bartlet was there?" Carolyn asked. "Yes. I could tell she was uncomfortable. You'd like her even if she is a Democrat," Donna gave her mother a small smile, then brushed her hand across her cheek as the tears started to flow again. "I'm going to miss them. You know what I mean, Mom?" "Yes, Donnatella. I'm beginning to understand," Carolyn answered thoughtfully. "It's late. Let's talk in the morning." Donna and her mother climbed the stairs to her girlhood bedroom. Donna dropped her suitcase by the side of the bed. She grabbed her flannel pajamas and toothbrush from her duffel while Carolyn pulled back the covers. Donna went into the bathroom, changed, brushed her teeth, and came back into the room. She smiled when she saw her old teddy bear laying on the pillow. "There's one friend who's never deserted me," she said with a smile. "Get in bed, Donna. I love you baby girl." "I love you too, Mom. Thanks." Josh looked at his watch for the fiftieth time, literally counting the seconds until it was 8:30. CJ had made him promise that he wouldn't call Donna in Wisconsin until it was at least 7:30 her time. Wisconsin was an hour behind DC and he'd been checking the clock ever since 5:00. The night before, he'd called the airlines from Donna's apartment and discovered that a plane had left from Reagan at 7:45, arriving in Madison at 10:30. Using his White House connections, he confirmed that Donnatella Moss had been on that plane and that she'd bought a one-way ticket. With that, he drove CJ home, and finally ended up in his apartment. He'd spent the next hours flipping through the channels, throwing out the Tahitian decorations he'd stuffed into his closet months before, as well as the bottle of rum he'd bought that stupid night, and finally ended up staring at the ceiling in his bedroom for two hours. Finally, at 6 he got up, dressed, and went into the office. Donna had wandered into her mother's bedroom at 6:30 and crawled into bed. Donna had then described in detail what had been happening between Josh and her for the past six months. She haltingly told her mother about the episode with Cliff, the diary fiasco, and Josh's role in saving her. She talked about the subsequent estrangement, Amy, the dot.com job offer, and the gradual, but definite reconciliation she thought she and Josh had been making until last night. She told her mother about Josh's efforts to fix the citizenship snafu, and then the memo he'd written on behalf of Molly Morello, her favorite teacher. When the phone rang at 7:30, Donna froze. She looked at her mother and shook her head. "I'm not here." Carolyn looked at her daughter and said, "I don't want to be your middle man." "I'm not here, Mom. I don't want to talk to him," and with that she got up and walked out of the bedroom. Carolyn picked up the phone on the third ring. "Hello," she said. "Mrs. Moss, this is Josh Lyman. May I speak to Donna, please?" "I'm sorry Josh. Donna can't come to the phone," Carolyn answered. "Can't or won't, Mrs. Moss?" Josh asked. Carolyn looked up and saw Donna standing in her doorway, shaking her head no. "Won't," she answered simply. Josh thought for a moment, and then said, "Would you give her a message for me, please. Would you tell her that I'm sorry." "I'll tell her," Carolyn said and hung up. "He says he's sorry." "I'm sure he is," Donna said. "But you know what, Mom. It's not enough. I don't want 'sorry'." "Ok, what do you want?" Carolyn asked. "I want...I want..." Donna hesitated, then stopped, like she'd changed her mind about what she was going to say and instead said, "I'm going over to the University. Can I borrow your car?" "Sure," Carolyn said. Donna went to get dressed when the phone rang again. "Hello," Carolyn answered. "Mrs. Moss, it's me, Josh. I'm sorry to bother you. But could I ask you to tell Donna that I'm sorry about the coffee. I didn't want the coffee last night and. I actually don't think I'll ever drink coffee again." "You want me to tell Donnatella that you've given up coffee for good?" Carolyn asked. "Yes, tell her that," Josh pleaded. "I will," and Carolyn hung up the phone. Donna came to her mother's bedroom door and looked at her expectantly. "He said to tell you that he's sworn off coffee forever." "That's just as well. He drinks too much anyway," Donna said. "I'm leaving now. I'm going to stop at the Career Services office and see what kind of campus jobs are available. I should be back in two hours." Carolyn nodded and picked up the morning newspaper. Fifteen minutes after Donna left, the phone rang again. "Mrs. Moss, it's Josh," he began. "I'm sorry, Josh, but Donna's not here," Carolyn said simply. "Not there, or still won't talk to me?" he asked. "She's not here, Josh," Carolyn paused for a moment and thought carefully about what she wanted to say. "Donnatella went over to the University. She's picking up the course catalog and stopping at the Career Services center to ask about campus jobs." There was silence on the other end. "I see," Josh finally said quietly. "Tell her, tell her..." "Tell her what, Josh?" Carolyn asked pointedly. There was silence and finally Josh whispered, "I don't honestly know what to say, Mrs. Moss," and hung up the phone. Carolyn looked at the phone and shook her head. "You are an idiot, Josh Lyman." Josh stared into space for a few minutes. He looked down at his desk and saw his coffee mug. He picked it up and hurled it against the wall. Leo stopped outside the door of Josh's office when he heard a crash. He opened it slowly to see Josh standing next to his desk, fists clenched. "Josh?" Leo said tentatively. Josh looked blank for a second, then took a deep breath, and flatly said, "She's job hunting in Madison." "Already? It hasn't even been 24 hours since she left." CJ had filled Leo, Toby, and Sam in on what had happened the night before when they'd met for Senior Staff in the morning. "Yeah, well, you know Donna. When she makes up her mind about something..." his voice trailed off. "What are you going to do about it?" Leo asked. "I think I've done a fine job in thoroughly screwing this up so far, what do you suggest I do now?" Josh asked angrily. "Go home, Josh, and start packing," Leo ordered. "What good will that do? Don't you think I've thought of taking the first plane to Madison and dragging her back here," Josh countered. "Hell, she won't even talk to me on the phone." "I don't think the caveman approach will work with Donna," Leo said. "But you'd better figure out something that will. You're no good here." "I may be a total loser with women, but I can still do my job. Hell, Leo, it's all I've got," Josh pointed out. "Josh, you blew off Senior Staff, then missed an 8:30 meeting with the Majority Leader and four crucial members of Congress about the education reform bill. A meeting, I might add, that was set up three weeks ago after much begging, pleading, and cajoling. All on behalf of a bill, I further point out, that we've been trying to ram through the House for the last two years. So Mr. Democrat of the Year, get your head out of your ass, go home and sort out your life before we're all out of jobs thanks to your deft and expert handling of the members of Congress," Leo finished hotly. Josh looked at Leo, picked up his backpack, and for the first time in 15 years, walked out of the office at 10:00 in the morning to go home. Leo walked back to the Oval Office and asked Charlie if the President was free. "He's in with the First Lady," Charlie said. "Do you want me to interrupt?" "Yeah, it's important," Leo said nodding his head. Charlie was back in a moment and said, "Go on in." Leo walked into the Oval Office. The President and Mrs. Bartlet were sitting on the couch, obviously in the middle of a discussion. "I'm sorry, Mr. President. We have a thing...a thing with Josh," Leo began. "And Donna," Abbey added. Leo looked surprised and asked, "How did you know?" "I got played last night," Abbey said angrily. "What happened?" "Amy Gardner used me to get to Josh and I bought right into it. I knew the minute she demanded that Donna get the coffee..." "What the hell is the problem with coffee?" Leo interrupted. "CJ was going on and on about Donna bringing Josh coffee last night, and Toby and Sam practically fell out of their chairs. Margaret brings me coffee every morning. What's the big deal?" "Oh for crying out loud," The President snapped. "Of course Margaret brings you coffee. She's not in love with you and you're not in love with her. In all your years of marriage, did you ever order Jenny to bring you coffee?" "But CJ says Donna has refused to bring Josh coffee since the first day he hired her." "Exactly," the President nodded. "Doesn't that tell you something that we've all known for the last three years but refused to acknowledge?" "Yeah," Leo said slowly. "So now what do we do. If this doesn't get resolved, we're gonna have to get a new deputy chief of staff. You know, one that doesn't piss off the leadership of our own party. I spent 40 minutes on the phone trying to placate one very angry Majority Leader. He asked where the hell was Donna, since he apparently tried to call Josh when he didn't show up for the meeting. Josh answered the phone himself and then slammed it down, I'm assuming because it wasn't the call from Madison he was hoping for." "Jed, now's the time. You should have done it months ago when you first thought about it," Abbey urged. "I know, I know. I just thought he needed her more than I did," Jed answered. "Charlie?" Charlie leaned into the Oval Office expectantly. "Get me the number of Mrs. Carolyn Moss in Madison, Wisconsin." Carolyn Moss picked up the phone on the first ring and said, "She's still not back, Josh." "Mrs. Moss, this is Jed Bartlet." "Good morning, Mr. President," Carolyn said, pulling her robe around her and smoothing her hair. "Donna's not back, you say?" the President asked. "No sir, she's at the University. She's picking up a course catalog and checking for on-campus jobs," Carolyn answered carefully. "I'm glad that Donna is thinking about going back to school, but I wonder if this is the right time," the President asked. "I'm not sure it is, Mr. President, but I also know that one desperately unhappy daughter arrived on my doorstep last night," Carolyn pointed out. "I'd like your help, Mrs. Moss, fixing the problem we have," the President began. "I know about the problem, Mr. President, and I'm not sure I want to fix it, if that means having Donnatella go back to work for Josh Lyman." "That isn't what I intend," the President assured her. "I'd like Donna to be my executive assistant." "Oh," Carolyn said thoughtfully. "That sounds like it would be a good move for Donna. Much as I want her to finish her degree, I think she'd like to work for you. It's an opportunity of a lifetime. She admires you very much and I was very touched that you called Molly Morello," Carolyn said. She paused, but then added, "But that still doesn't completely solve the problem, does it Mr. President?" "No, Ma'am. It doesn't." "Mrs. Moss, this is Abbey Bartlet. How is Donna this morning?" "One mother to another?" Carolyn asked. "Yes," Abbey agreed. "A mess. I don't know which worries me more, when she's crying or when she's isn't and acting like she's fine," Carolyn admitted. Then paused and asked, "Is he a good man?" "Josh?" Abbey asked. "Yes." "He's the third most powerful man in our administration," Leo interjected. "That's not what I asked," Carolyn interrupted. "Yes," Abbey answered firmly. "He's a very good man. He's just...just..."Abbey struggled to find the right word. "An idiot when it comes to love," Carolyn finished for her. "Yes, although I don't think he's ever really been in love before your daughter." "And he does love her, right? It sounds like it to me, but I want to be sure," Carolyn said. "I'm sure," Abbey answered. "OK, Mr. President. I'll talk to Donna. What do you want me to say?" Carolyn asked. "Just get her on the first plane back to DC. Tell her I want to see her, but don't tell her about the job." "And you don't have any question that if I send my daughter back to you, Josh will figure out what he has to do?" Carolyn asked. "I guarantee it, Mrs. Moss," the President said confidently. "You'd better be right, Mr. President, or you can kiss the 11 electoral votes of Wisconsin goodbye," Mrs. Moss said equally confident. Donna stood outside the door of the First Lady's office. Her assistant, Lily Mays, nodded to Donna and said, "She's expecting you. Go right in." Donna opened the door and walked in. "The President said you wanted to see me?" Donna asked timidly. Abbey rose from her chair, walked around her desk, and closed the distance to Donna, enveloping the young woman in a hug. "I'm glad you're back," Abbey said smiling. "The place was falling apart without you." She stepped back and motioned to Donna to sit on the couch next to her. "You're going to take the job?" Abbey asked. "Yes, I'm honored. I'd actually thought about asking Leo for something like this a few weeks ago, but..." Donna's voice trailed off. "I'm so sorry about last night, Donna," Abbey began. "You were..you were....um...." Donna said. "Royally played." Abbey finished. "I know. Actually I knew it the minute I walked into that room. I'm sorry about it all. I should have stopped the meeting, but I didn't want to make a scene," Abbey explained. "That's what Amy counted on," Donna nodded in agreement. "But that's not why I left." "I figured as much," Abbey said. "Josh and I have danced around whatever we have for three years. But last night, when Amy walked in and ordered the coffee, I looked at him and realized that he'd be willing to continue with this stupid dance for four more years, and probably indefinitely after that. I love him, but he's like Peter Pan, and I don't intend to be Wendy," Donna said with a hitch in her voice, tears beginning to well up as she fought for control. She took a deep breath and shook her head as if to banish from her mind the thoughts that troubled her. "You're right," Abbey said simply. "You think? Because I got to tell you, Mrs. Bartlet, that sounded a whole lot better than I feel. I feel like I'm dying here because I can't figure out how to live without Josh Lyman, but I know that I can't live like I have for the last six months. Close, distant, then close again, but still a barrier that he refuses to bridge." "I think he knows it now," Abbey said. "But he's stuck in second gear and doesn't know how to get out of the hole he's dug for himself over the last 40 years." "I don't think I can help him," Donna started. "You may be the only one who can. Look, one way or the other, there's no going back to the way things were. Right?" asked Abbey. "Right," Donna said definitely. "Go see him, Donna. Stop dancing around and tell him what you want," Abbey said. "Aren't you saying that things have been out of your control for months now?" "Yes." "So take control." Then she added quietly, "You taught me that the night of my birthday party." "And if he..." Donna began. "Step by step, Donna. Go see him. I have great faith in Joshua Lyman. He got an unknown governor from New Hampshire elected President of the United States," Abbey smiled. Donna stood up and started for the door, then turned back to face Abbey. "I'm scared," Donna said softly. "I'm sure he is too," Abbey answered. "Thank you for everything," Donna said and walked out the door. Donna stood outside the door trying to gather her nerve. Finally, she took a deep breath and knocked. After a moment, Josh opened the door and the two of them stared at each other awkwardly, without saying a word. Finally he said quietly, "You came back." "The President called my mother," Donna walked into the apartment. She glanced at the suitcase in the hall. "Going somewhere?" she asked, one eyebrow arched. "To Madison, Wisconsin," Josh said. "My plane leaves in two hours." "Oh," Donna said simply and smiled warmly. She walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Josh sat on a chair across from her. They didn't look at each other and words seemed to fail them both. "Donna, I'm sorry," Josh began, but Donna interrupted him. "The President offered me a job as his executive assistant. I start on Monday." Josh's eyes widened and then Donna saw it happen again. That same mask of steel that she'd seen the night she told Josh about Cliff took control of his features and she could feel the wall going up between them again. "Things have been crazy between us over the last six months," Donna said. "I thought they were getting better," Josh argued. "I thought we were almost back to normal, you know, with bantering and...other stuff." "Maybe we were almost back to where we used to be, but that's not enough for me anymore," Donna tried to explain. "Oh," was all Josh could muster and they were both silent again. Finally, Donna broke the quiet. "Were you ever going to ask me out on a date?" Josh looked up, startled. "We can't date, Donna. I'm your boss, you're my assistant. It wouldn't look right," he said quickly. "That's what I thought," Donna answered. "Same old dance," and she started to rise. Josh suddenly put out his hand to stop her. The mask slipped and his face had the vulnerable look of a young boy. He took a deep breath and said in a whisper, "I'm afraid." "Afraid of what?" Donna asked gently, putting her face just inches away from Josh. But he shook his head, pulled back from Donna, and wouldn't answer. After a few more moments of silence, Donna began, "I need to take control of my life, Josh." "Seems like you've already done that," Josh commented bitterly. "That's the reason things exploded last night," Donna continued. "That's your excuse for why you left me again," Josh said acidly. Donna blanched at the word 'again', but then said, softly, "I'm going to tell you what I want and ask you to be honest and tell me what you want." "Seems to me that I'm being asked after the decision's already been made," he retorted, looking down at the floor. "So here it goes," Donna continued on as if Josh hadn't said anything. "Because you're too precious to me to let this go without trying one last time." Josh looked up. "I know you're afraid, Josh. I know that you think I'll leave, just like so many of the other people you've loved, but I won't. Not if you don't want me to go. Not if you don't push me away. I love you, Joshua Lyman and I want to be able to tell you that without you freaking out. I want to be able to talk about having children together without you bolting from the room. I want to tell you my dreams and hopes for our future together without you shutting me out. I don't have to be your assistant, Joshua. I don't need a job to stay here with you." Josh sat there stunned and Donna wondered if she'd gone too far. But then she knew she really didn't have a choice anymore. "I'm calling the question, Josh. It's a straight up or down vote for us." The moments ticked by and Donna could tell that Josh was struggling with himself. He stood up, walked to the window, and looked out. His stomach was churning and his heart was pounding so hard that he was sure she could hear it across the room. She was asking too much of him. Didn't she know that? Why couldn't things stay the same? But did he want them to stay the same? It was tortuous not to touch her. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever known. Everyday he fought the urges that tormented him - the desire to hold her, kiss her, make love to her all night and wake up with her in his arms in the morning. Images of Donna flashed in his mind. Laughing with him as they chose the stamp; smiling at him across the desk when they worked late at night; reaching for his french fries as he batted her hand away; dancing with her at the inaugural ball; feeling her reassuring presence in his hospital room; taking him to the emergency room; holding him after his father died; teasing him when he announced the secret plan to fight inflation; bringing him coffee when he thought he would be fired; calming him when he thought he'd blown the big tobacco deal. He thought of her cheering for him, believing in him, and always loving him, even when he didn't love himself. Suddenly, he wasn't scared anymore. He turned, crossed back to Donna, and pulled her to stand next to him. He searched her eyes and caressed her cheek. "I love you Donnatella Moss," he whispered, wrapping his arms around her and bringing her close for a deep kiss. When they broke apart, they were breathless. They stared at each other and grinned. Donna leaned in to kiss him again. Keeping his arms around her, he reached for the phone and quickly dialed a now familiar number. "Mrs. Moss, it's Josh. I'd like to ask permission to marry your daughter, Donnatella."