Dark Depths
by: Lucy Mars (lucy_mars@yahoo.com)

Category: Drama & Romance, Josh/Donna with a very vague CJ/Toby

Rating: TEEN

"She going to be okay?" Donna asked appearing at CJ's door with a cup
of coffee for herself and some tea for CJ.

Taking the steaming cup from Donna, CJ rubbed her eyes tiredly. "No,
but she's going to have to be...right? She has a little boy and a
newborn to take care of. I mean...she has to be strong for them. It's
just...I can't stop thinking about...How is she suppose to tell them that
their father isn't coming home?"

Looking down into the depths of her dark coffee, Donna felt her heart
lurch for the poor woman and her two children. "I don't know," she
whispered, "but she doesn't really have a choice, now does she?"

"No." CJ sighed. Letting a moment pass by, she couldn't help but laugh
sadly, "Well this isn't exactly how I pictured my day would go."

"Me neither." Donna whispered trying to warm her cold hands. "She told
me that her daughters name was Donna. She has a newborn baby named
Donna."

"There are just some days..." CJ trailed off, "I wonder what my life
would be like if I'd just stayed in California."

Smiling sadly, Donna played with her lid. "If I had stayed in
Wisconsin, I think that I would have become exactly what I didn't want
to become."

"What's that?" CJ asked curiously.

Looking up, Donna smiled sadly. "My mother. An unhappy woman living
her entire life trying to seem like she had the perfect life."

"But you're not her." CJ pointed out smiling gently, "You are an
independent woman who is living her life."

"Do you think that you would have been happy if you'd stayed in California?"

"No," CJ said sipping tea slowly. "I would have been miserable. Rich
but miserable."

Laughing, Donna looked down at her pocket and the napkin that was
burning a hole in her pocket. "I was offered a job tonight."

"What?" CJ asked sitting up in surprise.

"An old friend," Donna shrugged, "offered me a job and too much money."

"There's no such thing." CJ laughed, "What kind of job?"

"It's not important. I'm not taking it."

"No?"

"You think that I would leave?" Donna asked with a sad undercurrent.

"Well no," CJ admitted, "but I'd think that you'd be tempted. More
money, more time for you to do all the things that we all complain
about not having time to do and no..."

"Josh." Donna said finishing CJ's thought.

"Well..." CJ said uncomfortably, "yeah."

"I love working here." Donna said softly.

"Even lately?" CJ asked gently. You'd have to be blind not to notice
the shift in Josh and Donna's relationship. It wasn't that they
weren't working well together, but it was all the things that they
weren't doing anymore. It was almost like Josh didn't have time for
Donna, or any of them anymore.

Looking up at CJ in surprise, Donna slowly let her gaze shift out CJ's
door and down the hall to Josh's empty office. "Yeah. Even tonight."

"Okay. Did you tell Josh?"

"Yeah."

"How did he react?" CJ asked following Donna's sad gaze.

Her eyes falling away and back down to her coffee, Donna shrugged. "I
don't know."

"You don't know?" CJ asked incredulously, "Donna come on. You've got
to give me something better than that."

"I really don't know what Josh is thinking anymore. He didn't seem to
care that I got a job offer. All he cared about was getting that damn
face book." Donna said stopping herself and her bitter tone. "Listen,
it's really no big deal."

"Yeah," CJ said sarcastically, "I can tell."

Her laughter sounded strained as it echoed through the quiet office.
Donna closed her eyes briefly and clutched her coffee cup. "He offered
me a title bump."

"Yeah?" CJ asked feeling relieved. So Josh was stupid, but not that
stupid. "What?"

"The title I have now." Donna laughed bitterly. "He doesn't even know
what my title is. If it was up to him, I'd be Donnatella Moss - the
girl who does the thing and doesn't bring coffee."

"You're important to Josh."

"Yeah," Donna scoffed, "I make sure he's on time and that he has
everything he needs. A job that only I can do."

"You are the only person who can handle Josh."

"Josh is doing a pretty good job of handling himself lately. I really
have become just the girl who does the thing and refuses to bring
coffee." Donna pointed out rolling the steaming cup between her hands,
"And I haven't had a chance to refuse to bring him coffee in weeks."

"Donna," CJ sighed settling her tea down, "you are the only person who
can keep Josh Lyman in check."

Shaking her head, Donna leaned back into CJ couch. "I'm not taking it
CJ, don't worry."

"I wasn't worried." CJ replied, "But are you staying because you want
to or because you feel you have too? You don't owe us anything Donna."

"I'm staying because of me." Donna admitted. "I love this place as
much as you guys. I don't make policy, but I help make it happen. And
at the end of the day, that's what matters...right?"

"Right." CJ agreed.

"I owe Josh." Donna said softly, "I think that I always will."

"He owes you too."

Sighing, Donna looked at CJ sadly. "It's like a vicious cycle. I owe
Josh for giving me a chance and he owes me for..."

"Helping him realize that he had a chance." CJ said gently.

Her eyes moving restlessly around the room, Donna blinked away her wet
screens. "I wouldn't put it like that."

"I would."

Opening her misty eyes, Donna smiled sadly at CJ. "I don't want to
become my mother, but sometimes...sometimes I can see her in me."

"You're nothing like your mother." CJ said sternly, "I've never met
the woman, but I know this. You are Donnatella Moss. That's it. There
is no other you."

"The problem is," Donna whispered, "there are days when I don't like
me very much."

"We all feel like that sometimes." CJ sighed.

"I want to be like you. Like Dr. Bartlet." Donna said smiling at CJ,
"Strong and powerful women."

"You're still a spring chicken." CJ laughed, "I like you a lot more
than I liked me when I was your age. God...I feel old."

Chuckling, Donna shook her head. "Don't. You're still young. You are
delightful and delicious, remember?"

Laughing, CJ nodded her head in agreement. "That I am."

"And good in bed, if the Post wasn't quoting someone wrong."

Shaking her head in mock anger, CJ swallowed the last of her tea.
"Come on, I think that we should go and get a drink. We need it. You
go and get Josh and I'll get Spanky and Toby."

"Josh isn't here." Donna said curtly.

"He isn't?" CJ asked in surprise, "I just saw him."

"He left." Donna said looking down. "He called Amy Gardner up and
they're getting together...or something."

"Oh." CJ said for a lack of anything else to say.

"Yeah."

"Well than it'll just be the four of us." CJ said trying to ward off
the black cloud that had nestled itself over Donna's head. "We'll
tease Sam and watch Toby give us his patented glare."

Smiling tightly at CJ, Donna shook her head slowly. "Not tonight CJ. I
think I'm just going to go home and turn in."

"You sure?" CJ asked frowning, "I mean this in the nicest way, but you
look like you need a drink...or two."

Laughing, Donna pulled herself up. "I'm sure. You go. Have fun."

Watching Donna's slumped shoulders get up, CJ heard the words come out
of her mouth before she'd even realized that she'd spoken them. "He
doesn't love her, you know."

"What?" Donna asked turning around.

"Josh and Amy Gardner." CJ clarified, "It's not going to last."

"It will." Donna countered sadly, "I think that Josh is in love."

"Josh is in a game," CJ scoffed, "and he wants to win."

Shaking her head stubbornly, Donna stood her ground. "He's determined
to make this thing with Amy Gardner work. If he isn't in love, than
what is it?"

Hearing the desperation in her voice, CJ stood up. "Josh saw something
that he couldn't have and was determined to have it."

Something passed over Donna's face, but she masked her emotions to
quickly for CJ to be able to read her. "I don't know..."

"It's the same as when he went out with Mandy. Amy dared him and Josh
being the idiot that he is took it. Josh is quite stupid like that."

Shuffling her feet uncomfortably, Donna looked down at her now cold
coffee. "I don't know. It's really none of my business."

"They're not right for each other." CJ added.

"Than who is right for Josh?" Donna asked suddenly and catching CJ off guard.

Conflicting emotions eating away at her, CJ let the Press Secretary in
her win over that little voice that was screaming 'YOU! Donna, it's
you.' in the back of her mind. "I don't know."

Nodding slowly, Donna stood up. "Me neither." she sighed as she left the room.

"Hey." Josh said pulling his door open.

"J." Amy said brushing past him and tossing her bag carelessly down.

"You got here fast."

Looking up at him as she shed her coat, Amy shrugged. "It's the middle
of the night. There really isn't much traffic this time of night. So
what's up?"

"What?" Josh asked stupidly as he followed her into his living room.

"You called me." Amy pointed out with an annoyed tone, "I thought that
there was some important reason you called me. So what's up J?"

"Nothing." Josh shrugged, "I just wanted to see you."

Raising an annoyed eyebrow, Amy crossed her arms. "You just wanted to
see me? That's stupid. I saw you yesterday."

"It's stupid that I wanted to see you?" Josh asked incredulously.

"Well, yeah J. You couldn't have waited until tomorrow? It's late and
I'm tired." Amy pouted.

Which Josh noted was nothing like Donna's pout. Hers was just
annoying. Shaking his head, Josh frowned at Amy. "Well than, maybe you
should just leave if you're so tired."

Her pout morphing into a scowl, Amy glared at Josh. "You're getting
angry at me? You call me well after midnight and tell me to come over,
and now you're kicking me out?"

"If you didn't want to come than you should have said so." Josh shot
back. This was stupid. He should just tell her why he had called. What
had happened tonight that had made him so upset that he'd grabbed the
phone and called her right away. But it wasn't her anger and annoyance
at him that was making him mad. It was the fact that she just couldn't
tell that something was wrong. That he was upset about something.

"Don't be an ass J." Amy snapped. "What is your problem tonight?"

"Nothing." Josh lied walking past Amy and settling himself down on the couch.

"Sure." Amy said sarcastically. "And I'm joining the RNC. Do you want
to tell me what possessed you to call me?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to see you."

Frowning, Amy sat down beside Josh and kicked her feet up onto his
coffee table. "Bull."

"Why don't you believe me?" Josh asked wiping around and glaring at
Amy. "Is it so bizarre that I would want to spend time with you?"

"We both have work tomorrow J. I've got a 7 am meeting and Donna's no
doubt got something scheduled for you."

Maybe if he'd actually been listening to her, he would have heard the
distaste in her voice when she said Donna's name. But he wasn't
listening, so he didn't catch it. "Donna got offered a job tonight."

Her eyes narrowing and her lips forming that long thin line that
scared better men than him, Amy shook her head. "That's what's
bothering you?"

"Why should it bother me?" Josh said feigning innocence. "It doesn't
bother me." He should have just stopped there. But this was Josh, and
well, there were days when he wasn't very bright. "What bothers me is
that she's actually thinking about taking it! I mean, right now? Could
she possibly pick a worst time?! I need her right now. So she'd make a
little more money...would she be doing anything as important as what
she's doing right now?"

"I can't believe this." Amy growled getting up. "You call me to come
over so that I could listen to you talk about your little assistant
and her job offer?"

"What are you talking about?" Josh asked looking up at Amy's frowning face.

"That's why you called me, wasn't it? Because you needed to rant a
little about your assistant being offered a job and have someone calm
your deep dark fears that she'll leave you."

"Donna wouldn't leave me." Josh pointed out with more confidence than he felt.

"No," Amy said shortly, "of course not. Why would she leave you? She's
too attached. And I'm starting to think that it goes both ways."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Josh asked standing up so that
they would be on equal footing. Somewhere, he wasn't sure where
exactly, this conversation had totally gotten out of control. At least
his control anyway.

"I'm talking about you and this thing between you and Donna." Amy
snapped glaring at Josh. "I'm tired of it Josh. Maybe all those rumors
that I hear are true."

"Okay really, I've never heard any of these rumors that you keep
throwing at me." Josh frowned, "I'm starting to think that you made
them up just to throw me off."

"And I'm starting to think that all the things that I've heard about
you and Donna are true."

"What things?" Josh challenged.

"Do you really want to know what people say about your precious little
assistant?" Amy asked her eyes blazing with anger, "All the theories
on how she got her job exactly?"

"Okay," Josh said holding up his hand in warning, "don't say anything
that you're going to regret."

"Why would I regret it?" Amy asked, "Who knows if they're actually true."

"Don't say anything about Donna." Josh warned through clenched teeth.
"You can be mad at me, but this has nothing to do with Donna."

"Well aren't you just a natural prince charming?" Amy snapped,
"Protecting your precious little princess...oops, I meant assistant."

"Donna is my friend." Josh said slowly and carefully. Trying in vain
to keep his emotions in check. "She may be my assistant, but she's my
friend first. Don't go spreading rumors because you don't understand
our friendship."

"You're right Josh. I don't understand your friendship. Sometimes I
wonder if there's more than the simple platonic friendship that you
claim to have with her. She's your assistant Josh."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Josh asked sitting back
down. "I can't be friends with Donna because she's my assistant?"

"You can't be in love with her."

"I am not in love with Donna." Josh stuttered looking up at Amy in
surprise. "I really think that you're jumping the gun here."

"I don't think I am J." Amy sighed, "And you can't be in love with her."

"Why not?" Josh demanded, "Hypothetically, if I was in love with
Donna, which I'm not, why can't I love her? Is it because she's my
assistant? A woman who is not educated in the traditional sense? Cause
really, if you're insinuating that Donna is not my equal, therefore
cannot be in a relationship with me is absurd. A complete
contradiction to what you do professionally. Aren't you always
chanting on about equality and..."

"Josh." Amy said cutting him off with a tone that he'd never heard
before. It was tired and strained.

"Yeah?" Josh asked looking up at her worn face.

Blinking slowly, Amy sat down tiredly beside him and looked down at
her clenched hands. Sighing, she looked at him sadly. Her frown and
glare replaced with a sad smile. "You can't love her because you're
suppose to be in love with me."

Stunned, Josh blinked rapidly to try and convince himself that he
wasn't imagining this. "Oh." He said stupidly. Josh was pretty sure
that he resembled Gail at the moment. "Oh."

"Yeah." Amy sighed.

"Let's go get drunk." CJ said slipping into Toby office.

Looking up from his desk, Toby frowned at CJ. "What?"

"It's been a long and stressful day. I've decided that life is too
short and I don't enjoy it enough. Get up and get ready. I'm going to
go and get Spanky and we are going to get nice and wasted."

Rubbing his beard, Toby put down his pen. "Yeah, I heard. Sorry."

"Don't tell me sorry. Tell a newly widowed woman and her two
children." CJ sighed leaning her hip against his desk.

"Still," Toby sighed, "sorry."

"Thanks." CJ said playing with the pen that Toby had just discarded.
"So you coming?"

"Yeah." Toby nodded pushing himself away from his desk, "I could use a
drink...or a dozen."

"That's the spirit!" CJ laughed, "I'm going to get Sam."

"What about Josh?"

"According to Donna, he's out with Amy Gardner." CJ said with the same
amount of distaste that Donna had used earlier.

Frowning, Toby looked down at his watch. "It's nearly 1 am. What the hell..."

"I don't know," CJ frowned waving Toby away. "and I don't care."

"Yes, I can tell from the tone of your voice that you don't care."
Toby replied, his words laced with sarcasm.

"Hey, Josh is a grown man and can screw up his life however he wishes too."

"Yeah, I still don't believe you."

Rolling her eyes, CJ frowned at Toby. "Get your stuff together. I am
going to go and get Sam."

"And I'm going to call Josh."

Spinning around at the threshold, CJ grinned at Toby. "It's late and
he's with Amy Gardner."

"Yeah?" Toby asked sarcastically.

"Yeah." CJ laughed.

"You told me that already CJ."

"It bears repeating since you're considering calling him." CJ pointed out.

"I'll keep that in mind as I dial his number." Toby deadpanned, "Get
Donna too. She could probably use a drink."

"Some old college friend offered her a job." CJ blurted out.

"Yeah?" Toby asked trying to act indifference to this piece of
information, but failing miserably. "Josh know?"

"Yeah."

"So? How did he react?"

"According to Donna, there was no reaction." CJ scowled, "It seems
that Josh is really that stupid."

"They offer her money?"

"Of course!" CJ exclaimed.

"Did Josh have the decency to offer her anything?" Toby asked trying
to think of what he could have possibly given her.

"A title bump."

"Yeah? What?"

"Her current title." CJ laughed.

"Dumbass." Toby said collecting various papers that were scattered
around his desk.

"Yeah." CJ agreed. "I already asked Donna and she declined. Something
about going home and...I don't know, sleeping."

"Call her again. Maybe she'll reconsider after you mention that Josh is coming."

"How can you be so sure that Josh is going to come?"

"I'm not." Toby shrugged, "But if she does come we can try and you
know, cheer her up. She's seemed kind of, I don't know, down the last
couple of days."

"You going soft on me?" CJ questioned smiling at Toby.

"Shut up and get out." Toby barked as he picked up his phone.

Pulling her coat tighter around herself, Donna wandered lazily through
the Mall. Occasionally passing by various tourist. Some giggling as
they stumbled past her in search of their hotel and some just staring
at the monuments in awe as they lit up the night sky. There was a time
that she looked just like these awestruck tourist. Amazed and
entranced by the glowing marble bathed by the moonlight and lustrous
golden light. The massive stone structures came alive at night.
Watching over the sleeping city as they shone a golden hue. When
they'd first arrived in Washington as the new players in town, Josh
had taken her out for an impromptu tour of this magnificent city. His
city. He had shown her all the local gems. The best muffin place, Thai
place and Mexican place. There had also been the cozy coffee shop just
a few block away from the White House. It was his blatant, yet sweet
attempt to try and get her to bring him coffee. Smiling at the memory,
Donna didn't even notice the hand reach out in the darkness of the
night and grab her.

Jumping at the sound of his phone ringing shrilly, Josh scrambled to
his feet when he processed the sound. "Sorry." he said unable to look
Amy in the eye as he tried to scoot past her long legs. "I've got to
get that."

Pursuing her lips, Amy moved her feet so that Josh could pass by.
"Yeah." she sighed.

Grabbing the phone roughly, Josh pressed it to his ear. "Yeah?"

"Josh."

"Toby?"

"Josh."

"Toby?"

"We've established that." Toby growled.

"I'm kind of in the middle of something here Toby." Josh sighed
running his hands through his hair and stealing a glance at Amy's
back. "Please don't tell me that I need to come in."

"You don't need to come in."

"Okay," Josh said warily, "than why are you calling me at 1 in the morning?"

"We're going for drinks. You coming?"

"Ah... Toby?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm in the middle of something." Josh repeated.

"So you're not coming?" Toby asked unnecessarily.

"Toby." Josh sighed.

"Fine."

"Okay."

"Yeah."

"Toby?" Josh asked playing with the phone cord.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you guys going out for drinks." Josh asked lamely as he
watched Amy sit perfectly still on his couch. He knew that he should
probably be rushing back to her so that they could finish their
conversation, and you know, address what she'd said, but he couldn't
seem to make himself hang up. If that wasn't a sign that something was
wrong, than he didn't know what was.

"I think a better question would be why you're not rushing back to be
ensorcelled." Toby said dryly.

"I'll talk to you later." Josh sighed hanging up before Toby could respond.

"Work?" Amy asked from her place on the couch.

"Yeah." Josh sighed making his way back to Amy. That wasn't lying. It
was Toby calling from work...so technically it was work calling.

"Yeah?"

"Don't worry about it." Josh shrugged taking a seat on the couch but
not right next to Amy. 'Hmm,' Josh thought looking at the distance
between them, 'another sign that things aren't exactly what would be
classified as good.'

"He mad?" CJ asked leaning about Toby's door.

"More at himself." Toby said cryptically, "Donna coming?"

"Her cell started ringing on Josh's desk, I left a message on her
machine and I paged her." CJ shrugged, "Hopefully she'll show."

"Sam's waiting." Toby said leading CJ out of his office.

"Did he yell?" CJ asked smiling at Toby.

"Nah." Toby smiled as he threw his phone at CJ. "Why don't you call
him and see if he wants to come."

"You're an evil man Tobus!" CJ laughed flipping the phone open, "I
knew there was a reason I loved you."

Stumbling, Donna gasped in shock when she felt the rough hands grab
her and pull her abruptly aside. She felt a scream climb her throat,
but it died when a cold barrel roughly came in contact with her back.
Stilling immediately, she felt her heart lurch painfully in her chest
and fall to her stomach.

"Don't scream." the cold voice from behind her ordered, "Just do as I
say and nobody gets hurt. Understand?"

Nodding blindly, Donna tried to form the words but she'd suddenly lost
all power of speech.

"Understand?!" the voice demanded thrusting the cold barrel roughly
against her shoulder and turning her around to face his detached eyes.

"Yes." Donna gasped feeling hot tears stinging her wide eyes. "Yes."

"Give me your purse." he demanded aiming the gun at Donna with cold eyes.

Untangling the strap from her shaking arm, Donna held it out fearfully
and jumped when he grabbed the bag roughly.

"Your pockets," he hissed, "empty them."

Pulling out a pack of gum and some loose change, Donna quickly handed it over.

"Your jewelry." he demanded pointing his gun at her.

With trembling hands, Donna pulled off her ring and the watch that Sam
had given her for her birthday.

"Necklace." he demanded tracing the chain with his gun.

Shivering at the feeling of the cold metal pressed against her bare
skin, Donna fumbled with the delicate gold chain. Suddenly a cold hand
pushed her hands away and snapped the chain off of her. Evoking a
scream of terror from Donna.

"Quiet!" he yelled slapping Donna across the face.

Her balance already off, Donna fell to the ground when his cold hand
and gun came in sudden contact with her cheek. Her face stinging,
Donna looked up at him fearfully. She saw his dirty face staring back
at her, and his disgusting leer. Her expression one of absolute
horror, Donna managed to back away slowly. "That's all I have." she
choked out through her sobs.

Sneering, he stuffed Donna's belongings into his pocket. "It's really not."

Backing away on all fours, Donna shook her head. "Please...no."

"Quiet!" he barked pointing his gun at Donna, "Just shut up!"

Whimpering in fear, Donna scrambled to her feet and looked around
herself panicking.

"Don't even think about it!" he hissed pulling Donna violently against
his dirty body.

Crying out in pain as his fingers dug into her flesh and bruised her,
Donna struggled against him. "Just take my money and go." she pleaded.

"Oh," he hissed pulling Donna tighter against him and pressing his gun
right against her stomach, "I'm going to take more than just your
money."

Feeling her tears burn her eyes, Donna couldn't let him rape her. She
wouldn't let him. Struggling against his grip, Donna felt his rough
hands groping at her and she heard herself scream before she even
realized what she was doing.

"Stupid bitch!" he yelled smashing the end of his gun against her temple.

Falling limply to ground, Donna felt his hands fall away from her and
through the thick haze that had enveloped her she could hear voices
yelling. Or was that her own voice, she wondered as the heavy black
curtains fell over her eyes and her beeper began buzzing again on her
belt.

"So." Amy said shifting uncomfortably under Josh's gaze.

"Yeah, so." Josh echoed looking away from Amy.

"This is stupid." Amy declared getting up. "It's late and I am going
to go home and sleep."

"Wait." Josh said stopping Amy, "You don't want to talk about...you know...it?"

"It what?" Amy asked irritated by Josh's behavior.

"About what you said." Josh stuttered.

"If you can't say it J., than I'm going to have to question your maturity."

"About, you know, me suppose...suppose...me being in love with you and not
Donna." Josh stammered.

"Are you in love with Donna?" Amy asked.

"No." Josh answered to quickly.

Shaking her head, Amy tried to move past Josh. "You're lying."

"How do you know?" Josh challenged blocking her.

"I have an assistant too Josh, but I don't buy her flowers for our
anniversary. Hell, I don't even know when she started working for me.
I'm sure she doesn't remember either." Amy yelled glaring at Josh, "We
don't go out for drinks together, we don't have inside jokes, we don't
banter, and I sure as hell don't care who she dates."

"We're friends." Josh repeated lamely.

"Yes, you've pointed that out many times."

"So what?" Josh asked feeling his temper rise, "You're telling me that
I can't be friends with Donna?"

"If somebody offered Stacy a job that was a good opportunity for her,
I would completely support her if she decided to leave."

"Donna's not leaving me."

"Do you see what I mean?" Amy asked waving an accusingly finger at Josh.

"What?" Josh asked confused, "What did I do?"

"Why do you see it as Donna leaving you and not Donna leaving the
White House?" Amy asked watching Josh intently.

Feeling his mouth go dry, Josh looked up at his ringing phone and back
at Amy. "I'll be right back." Josh told her just before he fled the
room.

Throwing his head back and laughing, Sam shook his head at Toby and CJ
after hearing what they'd been doing to Josh. "You guys must really
hate Amy Gardner."

"We're doing it on principle Spanky." CJ defended holding up her drink.

"What happened to the sisterhood CJ?" Toby asked grinning at CJ over
the rim of his glass.

"I appreciate what she does for women," CJ said, "but damn, that
doesn't mean I have to like her. She treats Josh like dirt and I hate
that 'Special J.' crap."

Laughing, Sam nodded his head in agreement. "She's also that this
lockjaw thing going on."

"You noticed that too?!" CJ asked slapping Sam on the arm, "Doesn't it
drive you crazy?"

"There's not much about Amy Gardner that doesn't drive me crazy." Sam
said sipping his bear, "And this relationship isn't about anything
more than a chase. For both of them."

"That's what I told Donna." CJ said nodding her head in agreement.

"And what's Donna's theory on Josh and Amy Gardner?" Toby asked curiously.

"She thinks that Josh is in love." CJ frowned looking up at the door
and expecting to see Donna magically appear.

"He has been strutting around a lot lately." Toby pointed out.

"Not his usual strut though." Sam added.

Raising an amused eyebrow, Toby smiled at his deputy. "Spend a lot of
time analyzing Josh's strut there Sam?"

Rolling his eyes, Sam drank his beer. "I don't know, it just seems
forced. Like he's doing it on purpose."

"Sam..." Toby laughed.

"No, no." CJ said jumping in, "Sam has a point."

"Oh god," Toby groaned, "CJ's had to much to drink already. She's
agreeing with Sam."

"Shut up." CJ said hitting Toby, "Sam, I think that you have a point.
So you think that there's trouble in paradise?"

"How about I find out?" Sam asked digging his cell phone out.

Exchanging a quick looking with Toby, CJ burst out laughing and
nodded. "Do it Spanky!"

Sighing, Josh resisted the urge to grab Amy and shake her. After the
call from CJ, they'd just been sitting on his couch. Amy wasn't
talking to him after he'd gotten off the phone. It'd been 15 fun
filled minutes of, "Amy..." and "Don't talk to me." Not exactly a record
for them, but Josh had a feeling that they were going to set a new
record tonight. The sound of the phone ringing echoed through the
quiet apartment.

"I am going to answer the phone. If you have an objections you should
voice them now." Josh said getting up. The only reaction he got was a
cold glare. "Okay." Josh said making his way into his kitchen.
"Hello?"

"Hey Josh!"

"Sam?" Josh asked listening to the loud background music, "Where are you?"

"Having drinks with CJ and Toby. Want to join us?"

Groaning, Josh hit his head against the wall. "Sam, I've already told
Toby no. I told CJ no. What made you think that I was going to say yes
to you?"

"I'm feeling lucky tonight?"

"Sam, to much information."

Laughing, Sam smiled at CJ and Toby. "Trouble in paradise Josh?"

Listening to the sudden laughter from CJ and Toby, Josh shook his
head, "You guys are so wasted."

"We're really not." Sam pointed out sound very sober but giddy. "We
just got here."

"Donna there?" Josh found himself asking suddenly.

"No, she's not. Maybe later. We keep paging her, but she's not replying."

"You think she's okay?" Josh asked feeling a knot form in his stomach.

"I'm sure she's fine. So you coming or not?"

"Not tonight Sam. Bye."

"You never answered my question!" Sam protested.

"I know Sam." Josh laughed, "Night." he said hanging up the phone.
Turning around, Josh jumped when he found Amy standing right behind
him. "Jesus!"

"How's Donna?" Amy asked careful to keep her voice neutral.

"That was Sam." Josh pointed out needlessly.

"I know."

"Donna isn't even out with them."

"Where do you think she is than?"

"I don't know." Josh said shrugging uncomfortably. "I thought that you
weren't talking to me."

"I changed my mind." Amy said challenging Josh to challenge her.

"Okay." Josh said looking around uncomfortably, "So now what?"

Pinning him against the wall, Amy kissed Josh soundly.

'Okay,' Josh thought as Amy kissed him, 'Donna is the queen of
misdirection and Amy is the queen of mixed signals.'



 "Hey!" Dylan yelled running up to the struggling shadows in the
distance. He had heard a woman's scream pierce the cold night air and
the hair on the back of his neck stood up.

A dark face shot up and shone under the yellow street lamp. When he
realized that he'd been caught, he left the woman and ran. Fast.

"Jesus!" Dylan hissed when he saw an unconscious woman sprawled on the
dirt and her pale face streaked with blood. Looking up at the figure
that was running away, Dylan pulled out his cell phone. "This is
Officer Lewis. I need an ambulance."

Pulling off his sweatshirt and balling it up, Dylan balanced his phone
between his chin and shoulder as his experienced hands gently skimmed
her blood soaked hair trying to find the source of all this blood. "I
have a young woman in her late twenties with a head wound." Dylan said
as he tried to apply enough pressure.

Holding his sweatshirt against her head, he quickly searched her body
for other wounds and stopped surprised when his bloody fingers brushed
up against a plastic badge. Holding it up, he was surprised to see the
White House Symbol and a smiling face look back at him, "Shit." He
cursed under his breath as his bloody fingers stained the badge and
the smiling face.

His head whipping around as a familiar siren split the silence of the
night and painted the sky red and blue, Dylan sighed in relief. Help
was coming. Her body suddenly twisting under his hands, Dylan tried to
soothe the young woman. "It's okay. You're going to be okay."

Moaning, Donna felt the cold hard ground beneath her as a pair of
gentle hands held her. Through the throbbing in her head, she managed
to gasp before the pain made her black out. "Josh..."

"He'll be here soon." Dylan soothed pushing her bloody hair back and
trying to get a better look at her wound. "You'll see him soon." he
promised looking down at the young woman, "I promise."

"Let's call Donna again." Toby suggested leaning back against his
seat. "I mean, I thought that we were going to cheer her up...or
something."

"Toby," CJ laughed, "you are going soft on me."

"Shut up," Toby grumbled, "and just page her."

"Okay, okay." CJ laughed sharing a smile with Sam as she pulled out her phone.

"Are you all right?" a paramedic asked gently pulling Dylan up and
away from Donna so that his partner could treat her.

Looking at the medic in surprise, Dylan shook his head. "I'm fine."

"You're covered in blood." he pointed out.

Shaking his head, Dylan looked down at his blood stained clothes and
hands. "It's all hers." Shielding his eyes against the sudden light
from a squad car, Dylan nodded at the officers who stepped out. "Hey
boys."

"Boss?" Connor asked taking in his Captains bloody appearance, "What
the hell happened to you?"

Raising an eyebrow at badge that he was clutching and the woman that
the paramedics were treating, Hannah reached for her radio. "Get an AP
out yet?"

"Didn't get a good enough look at the bastard." Dylan said following
Hannah's eyes.

"You okay?" Hannah asked taking in his disheveled appearance.

"He ran the moment I yelled." Dylan shrugged. "It's all her blood."

"Do we know who she is?" Connor asked

Holding up the badge, Dylan wiped away her blood and got a good look
at her name. "Donnatella Moss. From the White House."

"Officer!" the paramedic yelled getting their attention.

"Yeah?" Dylan asked.

"Her pager is blowing up." the paramedic said holding up a black pager
with his blood stained hand, "Someone's trying to find her."

"Finally!" CJ laughed when her phone started to ring shrilly. Flipping
it open, she held it against her ear and tried to shush Toby and Sam
with one hand. Not an easy task, considering she was holding a full
beer with that hand. "Donna?"

"No ma'am. May I know who this is please?"

"As soon as I know who this is." CJ shot back giving Toby and Sam a funny look.

"Ma'am, my name is Officer Dylan Lewis. Do you know one Donnatella
Moss? You're number was the last one to page her."

Feeling her mouth go dry, CJ put her glass down before she dropped it.

"Ma'am? Are you with still with me?"

"Yes, I'm here." CJ said feeling her stomach clench painfully. "Is
Donna all right?"

Both Toby and Sam felt their own hearts drop when they heard CJ ask
about Donna. Something was wrong.

"Ma'am, I suggest that you get down to G.W as quickly as possible."

"Okay." Josh said with a dazed look as Amy pulled away. "That wasn't
what I was expecting."

"What were you expecting?"

"Not that." Josh said looking down at Amy. "What was that for?"

"I just wanted to remind myself why I'm still here." Amy said
shrugging her shoulders carelessly.

"I really don't get you." Josh sighed rubbing his forehead.

"Many people don't."

"Imagine my shock." Josh said dryly. "So why are you still here? I'd
thought that you'd storm out by now. Cursing my name all the way back
to your place. Since you're so convinced that I'm in love with Donna."

"Why did you ask me out Josh?" Amy asked catching him off guard.

"Because I wanted too?" Josh answered lamely.

"Why did you ask me to Tahiti?"

"Because it seemed like a good idea at the time?"

Sighing, Amy rested her hands on Josh's chest. "Josh, do you..."

For what felt like the millionth time that night, the phone rang. This
time causing both Josh and Amy to jump, considering they were right
beside it.

Reaching out instinctively, Josh was surprised when Amy's hand stopped
him. "Amy?"

"Don't answer it Josh."

"When my phone rings in the middle of the night, it's usually
important." Josh said trying to reach for the phone.

"You're phone has rung countless times tonight and not once has it
been important."

"It could be Leo." Josh said side stepping Amy and earning a frown.

"Or Donna." she countered watching Josh reach for the phone.

"Maybe." Josh acknowledged.

"Don't answer it J." Amy warned.

Picking up the phone, Josh held it to his ear as he watched Amy storm
out of his apartment, "Hello?"

"Josh?"

"Toby," Josh said feeling his irritation with the whole night reach
it's climax, "what could you possibly want..."

"Josh." Toby said gently cutting Josh off.

Feeling the knot that had been sitting in his stomach all night
tighten to an agonizing point, Josh clutched the phone. "What is it
Toby?"

"It's Donna, Josh." Toby said putting a reassuring hand on CJ's
shaking shoulder as Sam navigated the deserted streets. "Something's
happened to Donna. Get to G.W."

Feeling his breath catch painfully in his chest, Josh gripped the
receiver till his knuckles were white. The blood rushed through his
ears and the warmth drained out of his body.

"Josh?" Toby asked snapping him out of mini trance. "Josh?"

"Yeah?" Josh asked numbly.

"Get in a cab and get to G.W." Toby said gently.

"I'll...I'll be there...I can be there in..."

"Don't drive yourself Josh." Toby said sternly. "Call a cab. Don't
drive yourself."

"I can drive!" Josh snapped.

"Donna needs you right now." Toby said softening his tone. "What good
will you be if something happens? Get a cab."

"I'll be right there." Josh promised gripping the phone. "Toby?"

"Yeah?"

"What happened?"

"I don't know." Toby sighed.

"Toby?"

"Yeah?" he asked catching Sam's tight face in the rearview mirror.

"If you see her before I do, can you tell her I'm coming?"

"I will." Toby promised as Sam pulled the car right up to G.W. and
parked in the first space that he found. They weren't Dr. Wood, but
right now, it didn't matter. Toby would play the White House card if
he had to. "Come on." Toby said leading a wary Sam and ashen CJ into
G.W.

Grabbing his wallet and stuffing it into his back pocket, Josh
sprinted out of his apartment. Leaving the lights blaring and the
stove on for all he knew. All he could think about was getting to
Donna. All he needed was to get to her side as quickly as humanly
possible. He would take a breath as soon as he could look at her and
see her give him that amazing smile. Hear her laugh and let her tell
him that he was worrying about nothing. Let her dissolve the lead
weight that had fallen on his heart with her wondrous laughter. Donna
had to be all right. She just had to be. If she wasn't...than Josh
didn't know what he was going to do.

Stumbling down the cold steps, Josh nearly crashed into a warm body.

"Took you long enough."

"Amy?" Josh asked breathless. Running while his heart was speeding
away at a hundred miles an hour with worry probably wasn't a good
idea. Donna was scold him if she knew. Donna. He had to get to Donna.
Arching his neck up, Josh tried to make out the familiar yellow taxi.
What was taking it so long to get here?

"J.?" Amy asked snapping him out of his Donna induced trance. "J. are
you even listening to me?"

"Not right now Amy." Josh snapped quickly jumping down the rest of the
steps and shooting nervous glances up and down the road.

"What are you doing out here?" Amy asked crossing her arms. "If you
came out after me just admit it." she said smiling smugly at him. "No
need to pretend that you didn't."

"I really didn't." Josh said feeling his breath catch when a car
passed by them and washed the street with a brief white glow. Where
the hell was his cab?! Donna needed him and he couldn't get to her. He
needed to get to her.

"Than why are you out here?"

"I'm waiting for a cab." Josh growled turning his agitated face at
Amy. "Why the hell do you think I'm out here?"

Her lips forming a long tight line, Amy narrowed her eyes at Josh.
"Donna was the one who called...wasn't it? She called and you go
running."

"Not.Now.Amy." Josh said in measured tones. "Just don't. You want to
pick a fight? Do it later."

"You're pathetic, you know that? I mean, Donna calls and does her
damsel in distress crap and you go running like a..."

"Amy," Josh said putting up his hand harshly, "just shut up."

"If you think that I'm going to continue to play second fiddle to you,
than you're dumber than I thought J." Amy snapped. "You want to be
with Donna? Fine. But I was right. You are just a hit and run guy."

His heart twisting at the mention of 'hit and run' Josh couldn't help
but let his frantic mind run away with the thought. Had Donna been in
a car accident? He'd told her to get a new car. Hers was an antique.
He should have driven her home. He knew that she was upset after
hearing the news. Hell, they all were. Swallowing heavily, Josh tried
to clear the images from his mind. Donna had to be all right. She had
to be. He had to believe that.

"J."

"Yeah?" Josh answered distractedly as he tried to will his taxi to arrive.

"Go to hell." Amy spat out as she turned on her heel and stalked away
to her car.

Watching her walk away, Josh felt his adrenaline spike when a familiar
yellow taxi rolled down his street. "I'd go if that meant that Donna
would be all right." Josh said to no one in particular as he slipped
into the warm car.

"Where to buddy?"

"G.W. Fast." Josh said handing the cabbie a nice tip.

Stumbling into the emergency room, Josh didn't have time to ward off
the horrible memories of Rossyln. His mind was too wrapped around
finding Donna and extinguishing that awful feeling in the pit of his
stomach. Knowing that someone that you cared about was hurt was one
thing. Not knowing was another. His eyes furiously scanning the
overflowing emergency room, Josh nearly jumped out of his skin when a
firm hand fell on his shoulder.

"Josh." Sam said leading him through the crowd.

"Where is she?" Josh asked breathlessly. "Is Donna okay? What happened?"

Leading Josh back to the waiting room that the nurse had lead them too
when people recognized them, Sam looked up at Toby and CJ. He didn't
know what to say. His own mind was still running in circles and trying
to grasp the situation.

"Sam?" Josh asked clutching at his arms desperately. "Where's Donna?
What happened?"

"I don't know." Sam said shaking his head, "We don't know anything yet."

"Sir, I think that I can answer your questions."

Turning around at the firm, yet gentle voice, Josh nearly lost his
cookies when he saw the dry blood staining Donna's White House I.D
badge. "Oh god..."

"Josh." Sam said leading his pale friend to one of the seats, "Sit down."

Feeling his knees give out, Josh looked up at the man who was holding
Donna's bloody I.D badge. "What happened?"

"My name is Officer Dylan Lewis. I was the one who found Miss. Moss
and called you Miss. Cregg."

"What happened?" Josh asked desperate for information.

"It seems that Miss. Moss was being mugged. We think that there was a
struggle between the two when the mugger tried to rape Miss. Moss."

A small gasp escaped CJ's pale lips.

"She sustained a head wound that looks to have been caused by the butt
of a gun. The doctors are optimistic about her condition. She's just
been taken up for a CT. A doctor will be here soon to give you her
condition. I'm here because I need to ask you all a few questions."

"What kind of questions?" Sam asked eyeing the police officer suspiciously.

"On the surface this looks like a simple mugging," Dylan said treading
lightly, "but I just need to know a few basic things about Miss. Moss
so that we can rule out a few things."

"What do you want to know?" Toby asked squeezing CJ's hand.

"Well, has Miss. Moss acquired any enemies over the past few weeks?"

"No." Josh said immediately. "Donna's a good person. Nobody would want
to hurt her."

"Has there been anything erratic about her behavior lately?" Dylan asked.

"No." Josh answered again.

"Okay." Dylan said holding the bloody badge in his hand. "I just have
one more question."

"What?" Josh asked watching Dylan absently move the badge between his
fingers. Fingers that had dried blood caked beneath his nails. Donna's
blood, Josh though blanching slightly.

"This is going to sound odd," Dylan said shifting uncomfortably, "but
is Miss. Moss married or dating anyone?"

"No." Josh said more harshly than he intended too, "Why would you ask that?"

"It's just that before she passed out she asked for Josh." Dylan said
looking at the three men in the room. "I promised her I'd find Josh."

"That's me." Josh said softly feeling the blood pound painfully in his
head. Roaring and drowning out everything else, "That's me."

Pacing the halls, CJ felt trapped. No matter how many times she walked
up and down the hall, the walls still felt like they were closing in
one her. She was trapped. Like she was being suffocated by the sterile
environment.

"You're going to wear a hole in the floor." Toby said as he stepped
out of the waiting room. "Why don't you come back in and sit for
awhile?"

"I shouldn't have let her leave Toby. I should have insisted that she
come with us." CJ said ignoring Toby's suggestion to sit down, "If I'd
just insisted that she came with us, than she would be okay. Donna
would have been okay."

"CJ." Toby said catching her arm, "Don't beat yourself up. This isn't
your fault. This isn't Donna's fault. If anyone is to blame than it's
the psycho who mugged her."

"Toby, if I'd just..."

"Don't." Toby said firmly, "Don't beat yourself up. Nobody could have
seen this coming. It happened. We'll deal with it. Donna will be
okay."

"It shouldn't have happened." CJ said shaking her head.

"I know." Toby said pulling her in for a hug. "I know. But the doctors
are optimistic. Donna's got a hard head. She's got to have one to work
with Josh."

Laughing through her tears, CJ nodded. "Yeah."

"Here." Sam said handing Josh a hot cup of coffee.

Looking at the steaming cup that Sam held out, Josh felt his mouth dry
up. "You brought me coffee."

"Drink it." Sam ordered. "It'll make you feel a little better."

Taking it, but not drinking it, Josh looked down into the dark depths.
Willing it to give him all the answers.

"Donna is going to be okay." Sam said trying to calm Josh's unspoken fears.

"How do you know that?" Josh asked softly, "You heard the officer. She
sustained a head wound Sam."

"Donna's to stubborn to be taken down by a mugger."

"Yeah." Josh agreed.

"She's not going to let some asshole ruin her life. Donna's strong."

"She is. She's tough." Josh said a soft smile touching his lips. "Determined."

"She's going to be okay." Sam said rubbing Josh's shoulder. "She's
going to be okay."

"Is this what it felt like to wait for me?" Josh asked suddenly.

His eyes shooting up in surprise, Sam was taken back by Josh's question. "Josh..."

"Was it?"

Sam didn't like thinking about that night, but he owed that much to
Josh. "Yeah. Worse."

"I'm sorry." Josh said sincerely.

"Don't be. You survived. That's all we wanted. All we asked for."

Nodding his head, Josh felt this throat close up when a doctor ushered
CJ and Toby back into room. He wasn't ready to hear what the doctor
had to say, but he would. Because Donna needed him, and he needed to
know.

The heat burned straight into her head. It was hotter than anything
she could have imagined. Any second now she'd go up into flames. Her
eyes were watering with the intensity of the heat and her head was
throbbing. No, Donna thought blinking through her hazy vision. It was
a light. Light that was too bright, too strong and too intense. It
burned beneath her eyelids. She tried to turn away and shield her face
but it hurt to much to move. What was going on?

"Donna? Can you hear me? Donna? Open your eyes."

Of course she could hear him. He was using that amazing voice to his.
It made her skin tingle because even through the pain induced fog
surrounding her brain, she could hear the hint of tenderness in his
worried tone. Donna wanted to say something to reassure him, but her
mouth was too dry and everything hurt so much.

"Donnatella?"

Oh poor Josh. He was worried. She could hear the panic and strain when
he gently uttered her name. She tried to form the words, but no sound
came out.

"Give her some water."

CJ? Was that CJ? Either this was one really odd dream, or CJ was in
the room. Someone raised her head. Donna could feel cold water on her
lips and desperately tried to open her mouth. She choked, then slowed
down. Donna drank and drank the heavenly cold water until finally the
water was dribbling down her chin.

"Now can you talk to me?"

"The light." Donna whispered, "Please, the light."

"It must be hurting her." CJ said reaching over Josh and flicking off
the harsh overhead lamp.

The light was gone the next instant and it was now shadowy and dim.
Donna sighed with relief. The pain subsided but not enough to be
constituted as bearable. "That's better. Josh?"

"I'm right here." Josh said his face lit by the light seeping in from
the open door. "How you feeling?"

"Like crap." Donna said trying to move her head to get a better look
at Josh. Her flinch didn't go unnoticed.

"Try and stay still." Josh soothed shifting so that she could see him
better as he rubbed her hand.

"What happened?" Donna asked trying to piece together the jumbled bits
of her memory. "Where am I?"

"You're at G.W." CJ said casting a quick look at Josh. "Do you
remember what happened Donna?"

Her mind registering CJ's words, Donna opened her eyes in alarm and
looked up at Josh.

Shaking his head, Josh gave Donna's trembling hand a reassuring
squeeze. "I'm okay Donna. You're the one I'm worried about. Do you
remembered what happened?"

"Remember what?" Donna asked feeling her head throb harder and harder.
"Why does my head hurt so much? God, it hurts."

"I'll go find a doctor. Let them know that she's awake." CJ said
hurrying out of the room. This was a hospital. There was bound to be
some doctor...you know, somewhere.

"It's okay Donna. Everything's gonna be okay." Josh said gently
rubbing her arm. "You don't remember what happened?"

"No."

"Okay." Josh said swallowing hard. "You were mugged Donna. Do you remember?"

Trying to focus on Josh, Donna felt the room start to spin around
them. The walls were moving and the floor was shifting beneath them
both. Closing her eyes when it became too much, Donna tried to focus
on the warmth of Josh's hand. The strength that she felt when his
fingers intertwined with hers.

"Donna? Donna, are you okay?"

His voice sounded so far away, but Donna could feel his warm breath
tickle her cheek. He was so close. His cologne filled her senses and
calmed her frayed nerves.

"You need to stay awake Donna." Josh pleaded, "Just wait for the
doctor to come and check you out. Than you can sleep for as long as
you want too. I'll even let you come in late today, Donna. Just hold
on."

Feeling her lips tug upwards, Donna struggled to open her tired eyes.
"You're a slave driver."

His own lips mirroring her smile, Josh felt relief flood him. If they
were bantering, than everything was all right. Wasn't it? "I may even
be persuaded to refrain from yelling for you for a couple of days."

"It hurts Josh." Donna whimpered feeling the pain intensify and wash
over her sore body. "I can't see."

"Open your eyes Donna." Josh ordered leaning closer to Donna and
feeling panic edge out his short lived relief.

"That's not it."

In the next second, Donna was unconscious and her head lolled to the
side. Josh had never yelled for a doctor so loudly in his entire life.

Sprinting to the nurses station, CJ had never been so grateful to see
people in scrubs her entire life. There was once a time when she was
sure her stomach would churn when interacting with medical personnel.
"Donna Moss. She's awake. We need a doctor."

"Cheryl page Dr. Beaker and find Officer Lewis." Nurse O'Neil said
following CJ back to Donna's room. "She just wake up?"

"Yeah." CJ said walking at a fast clip. "We gave her water. Was that
okay? Were we allowed to give her water?"

"Yes. Water's fine. I'm sure that she was grateful for it."

Before CJ could even register that happy thought Josh's loud voice
filled the quiet wing. Snapping to attention, CJ ran after Nurse
O'Neil and into Donna's dark room.

"Josh?" CJ asked running to Donna's bedside.

"What's going on?" Josh demanded moving when the nurse gently nudged
him so that she could examine Donna. "She was just awake and she
blacked out. What's going on? Is she okay?"

"Josh." CJ said pulling him back as a doctor and another nurse flew
into the room. "Let them check her over."

His eyes never leaving Donna, Josh shook his head. "She has to be okay CJ."

"She will be." CJ said with more confidence than she felt. "She will be."

Listening to the rhythmic ringing of his cell phone, Toby restlessly
paced the dark street in front of G.W while keeping an eye on Sam.
"You should go back up."

"Not yet." Sam sighed rubbing his tired eyes. "I can't...can't go back
in just yet."

"Okay." Toby shrugged pacing the well worn asphalt, as the ringing
stopped. "Okay."

"Hello?"

"Leo. It's Toby."

"It's 4 in the morning Toby. What could you possibly want?" Leo
growled still half asleep.

"I'm at G.W."

"What?" Leo asked snapping to attention.

"We're at G.W." Toby clarified.

"Define 'we'. And what the hell are you doing at G.W at 4 in the morning?"

"It's Donna." Toby sighed pacing faster and faster. "She was mugged
and brought in with a head wound."

"Jesus." Leo spit out sitting up, "Is she all right?"

"I don't know." Toby frowned. He hated not knowing. He hated waiting.
And most of all, he hated being afraid. "We don't know."

"Josh okay?" Leo asked thinking about his deputy.

"What do you think?" Toby asked laughing bitterly. "Being in G.W is
probably bad enough. Add in the fact that something's wrong with
Donna."

"You need me?"

"No." Toby replied, "I'm just calling to give you a heads up. I...Leo...I
didn't want you to hear from someone else."

"Okay." Leo said grabbing some clothes. "Okay."

"I'll call you once we know something." Toby said nudging Sam to scoot
over a little on the cold bench. "Leo?"

"Yeah?"

"There was blood all over her White House badge." Toby whispered
feeling a wave of nausea wash over him. "Donna needs a new one. The
police took it as evidence."

"I'll get her another one." Leo promised catching his reflection in
the mirror. When did he start to look so much older? "Toby?"

"Yeah?"

"Did he..." swallowing down the lump in his throat, Leo sat down
tiredly. "Was Donna..."

"No." Toby said clutching his phone and sitting down heavily beside
Sam.. "No. Donna wasn't raped."

"Okay." Leo sighed, "Okay. Call me again in an hour."

"What if we don't know anything in an..."

"Call me anyway." Leo said cutting Toby off. "Just check in every hour."

"Okay." Toby said snapping his cell phone shut.

"Leo okay?" Sam asked starring up at the night sky.

"No. I'd be worried if he was."

"We should probably go back up but..." Sam said trailing off.

"I'm not ready either." Toby admitted following Sam's gaze. "I'm not
ready either."

"But Josh needs us." Sam pointed out feeling guilt eat away at him.

"CJ's probably pacing the halls again." Toby replied rising and
leading Sam back into the hospital.

"Donna's going to be okay...right?" Sam asked resembling a small child
with his big blue eyes.

"I...I don't know Sam." Toby said holding the elevator door open for
him, "But I sure hope so."



 Patience, Josh had learned, wasn't something that he had much of.
However, when it came to Donna he would wait forever. The doctors, not
so much. "Is Donna okay?"

Snapping off his latex gloves, Dr. Beaker didn't even flinch at the
tone of Josh's voice. He'd heard it too much over the years. More than
he cared to count. "Considering everything that Ms. Moss has been
through tonight, she is doing wonderfully."

"But what just happened?" CJ asked wrapping a supportive arm around Josh.

"It was just the intensity of the pain." Dr. Beaker explained, "It's a
reaction that the body has when the pain become too much. We've given
her something to make her a little more comfortable."

"So Donna's going to be okay?" Josh asked anxiously.

"When Ms. Moss first came in we did a CT scan. Not to worry," Dr.
Beaker assured as the two paled significantly, "it was normal. We
always do a CT scan when there's a head injury, to check for evidence
of internal bleeding. There was none."

"What about all the blood?" Josh asked thinking about Donna's
belongings and how sullied they were.

"Scalp wounds tend to really bleed. She didn't need any stitches. Just
some of my magic tape." Dr. Beaker said trying to reassure Josh, "I'll
come by and look at her a little later."

"Okay." Josh said breathing a sigh of relief, "Okay. Can I see her?'

"Of course." Dr. Beaker said moving aside so that Josh could get back
to Donna's side.

"I'm going to go and find Sam and Toby." CJ said catching Josh's arm,
"Let them know that Donna's okay."

"Okay." Josh said rushing back into Donna's room and breathing a sigh
of relief when he saw her. Closing the door gently behind him, Josh
slowly made his way to her side and just starred at her peaceful face
for god knows how long. He stood there looking down at her, white and
bandaged with an IV in her arm. His fingers lightly tracing her warm
face, Josh felt his hands clench into a fist when his eyes feel on the
stark green on her pale jaw. Sitting down, Josh tugged his chair till
it was right up against the side of Donna's bed. Leaning against the
soft mattress, Josh laid his tired head down and just listened
carefully to her breathing. It was the most soothing and wonderful
sound that he'd ever heard. There were a million things running
through his mind, but the sound of her steady breaths and the feeling
of her warm hand pressed against his cold cheek was more than enough
to lull him to sleep. Donna was okay and that was all that mattered.

"Is Donna okay?" Sam asked when he spotted CJ.

"She's fine." CJ said smiling lightly. "The doctor just told us that
she's going to be just fine. CT showed no internal bleeding."

"Thank god." Sam said feeling relief flood him. He couldn't imagine
how Josh must be feeling. "Josh with her?"

"Yeah. Call Leo?"

"Yeah." Toby said rubbing his beard. "We need to check in every hour."

"Okay." CJ sighed rubbing her eyes. "What a night, huh?"

"Yeah." Sam agreed.

"Donna's going to be okay." Toby repeated trying to reassure himself.

"Yeah." Sam and CJ said smiling.

"Good." Toby said smiling along with them, "Good."

"I agree." CJ laughed.

"We need to buy her some pepper spray, or something." Toby said
frowning when the image of her blood stained badge resurfaced.

"Or one of those alarm things." Sam said thinking about the report on
Abuse Against Women that he'd read a couple of weeks ago.

"How about we find some coffee first?" CJ asked rubbing her tired
eyes. "I could use some coffee."

"You guys go." Sam said shaking his head, "I'm going to go and check
on Josh and find out what Donna's gonna need from her apartment.
She'll probably want some pajamas...or something."

"Good idea Spanky." CJ said smiling at Sam.

Blinking rapidly to clear her blurry vision, Donna gulped air
desperately as her lungs drank hungrily. Her eyes jumped around the
dimly lit room as she frantically scanned for any possible danger. Her
harsh breaths echoed through the dim room and fueled the panic that
was coursing through her hot blood. It was still too fresh. Her
nightmare was still raging on in her mind. She could still feel his
cold hands gripping her body and bruising her. His leer and threats
were still fresh in her mind.

Twitching, Donna tried to form two fists when her right hand brushed
against something warm. Looking down, Donna furiously blinked away her
hot tears. Reaching out tentatively, Donna lightly touched Josh's
sleeping face. Smiling despite her smothering anxiety, Donna let her
shaking fingers trace the soft contours of his face. There was
something comforting about having Josh nearby. His presence calmed
her, because he was Josh. He was going to catch her if she fell.
Listening to his even breaths, Donna timed her own ragged breaths to
his. Slowing down her racing heart and raging emotions, Donna
concentrated on the texture of Josh's cheek and how his lips curved
into a soft smile under her touch. Trying to push away the still fresh
nightmare. The suffocating fear. Listening to the hypnotic beats of
her monitors and Josh's rhythmic breathing, Donna finally fell asleep
after what felt like an interminable amount of time.

Standing under the soft shadows, Sam watched Josh and Donna as they
slept. Even when under the sandman's spell, they were connected. Their
breathing, like everything else about them, was in tune. Like they
were sharing a pair of lungs along with a heart. It was cliched, but
it was times like this when Sam could see that they were clearly
nothing more than two halves of a greater one. He felt his heart reach
out in yearning as he watched Donna unconsciously reach out for Josh
in her sleep. He wanted that connection. He wanted to find that kind
of love. The hard part wasn't waiting, Sam had learnt over the years.
The hard part was holding out hope that one day you would find that
other half. He, along with every other person in the world was
looking. It wasn't fair that Josh and Donna just found each other. As
much as he longed for that connection, Sam knew that what Josh and
Donna had was bitter sweet. Turning around, Sam softly closed the door
behind him. He felt like he was invading their privacy watching the
two while their defenses were down. When they weren't hiding for the
world and most importantly, when they weren't hiding from themselves.

"Drink this."

Taking the steaming cup from Toby, CJ looked around the empty lounge.
"I never thought that I would ever come back here."

"Yeah." Toby grunted sitting down beside CJ, "I know what you mean."

"At least this time it's good news." CJ sighed. "It's good news."

"It was good news last time."

Titling her head, CJ frowned down at Toby. "How?"

"Josh was alive." Toby said sipping his coffee. "The good news was
that Josh was alive."

"Yeah." CJ agreed staring off into the dark depths of her coffee. "Yeah."

"Maybe this place isn't so bad after all."

Laughing, CJ drank her coffee. "Maybe."

"The press is going to pick this up." Toby frowned, "Four highly
visible members of the White House senior staff at G.W. I'm surprised
nobody's been lurking the halls yet."

"I'm going to get a question." CJ agreed.

"Yeah."

"What do you want me to say?"

Rubbing his eyes, Toby tried to erase the image of Donna's blood
stained badge and Josh's blood stained chest out of his head.

"Toby?" CJ asked worriedly.

"Yeah?" Toby answered pulling himself out of his funk. "Yeah."

"What do you want me to say?"

Sighing, Toby drank his coffee. "I don't know."

"Okay." CJ said nodding her head. "Okay."

"Josh." CJ whispered gently tapping him on the shoulder. Careful not
to wake Donna. "Josh."

"Hmm?" Josh mumbled.

"Joshua. Wake up!" CJ hissed.

"Gently pinch the spot below his left ear." Donna whispered giving CJ
a sleepy smile.

"Oh Donna, I didn't mean to make you up."

"That's okay." Donna replied rubbing her fuzzy eyes. "Pinch lightly
and he'll wake up."

"Okay." CJ laughed reaching over and pinching Josh.

"OW!" Josh howled jumping up and grabbing at his ear. "What the hell?!"

"Lightly CJ," Donna laughed, "lightly."

"Sorry." CJ laughed not sounding very sorry. "Morning Josh."

"CJ," Josh whined, "that hurt."

"Well if you weren't such a heavy sleeper I wouldn't have had to
inflict bodily harm and wake Donna."

"How you feeling?" Josh asked turning to Donna and examining her pale
face under the bright morning sunlight. Completely ignoring CJ.

"Fuzzy." Donna pouted looking down at her iv line.

"Yeah, you'll clear up in a while." Josh smiled. "But at least your
head doesn't hurt."

"Dr. Beaker said that I didn't need stitches."

"Just some of his 'magic tape.'" Josh quoted.

"How do I look?" Donna asked suddenly feeling self conscious under
Josh's watchful eye.

"Banged up." Josh quipped smirking.

"You look like a woman who's been through a rough night." CJ corrected
smacking Josh on the arm. "Don't listen to him."

Lifting her arm to try and touch her bandage, Donna groaned in disgust
when she realized that she didn't have the strength.

Catching Donna's falling arm, Josh gently laid it back at her side.
"Really though. How do you feel? Do you want me to go and get the
doctor?"

"No, I'm okay...I think."

Scrunching up his face, Josh shook his head. "No, I'm going to go and
get the doctor. Have him check you out."

"Josh." Donna sighed even though both she and CJ knew that it was useless.

"I'll be right back." Josh assured running out of the room.

Smiling at Donna, CJ sat down on her bed. "So how you feeling?"

"A little banged up." Donna admitted. "You guys stayed all night? You
really didn't have too."

"We did." CJ laughed. "If not to keep Josh from ripping out all his
hair in frustration, than to keep him from yelling at all the
doctors."

Blushing, Donna nervously licked her dry lips. "How do I look? Really CJ."

Frowning, CJ dug around in her bag for her compact. "You're still a
little green around the edges and a little bruised, but you look
fine."

Rolling her eyes, Donna didn't even bother to try and hold the compact
herself. That would take too much effort. Catching her reflection,
Donna blanched in surprise. "Oh my god..."

"I know that it looks bad now, but it'll all heal."

"I really do looked banged up. God CJ..." Donna whispered seeing the
angry purple bruised on her cheek. She could still feel the sting of
his heavy gun and cold hand striking her face. The throbbing and
scorching sting was still so fresh in her mind.

"Donna?" CJ asked worriedly as she threw her compact down. Reaching
out, CJ tried to lightly shake her. "Donna?"

Her forehead was covered with a large bandage, but Donna could still
feel her warm blood trickling down her cheek and mingling with her hot
tears. Streaking her face and soaking her hair. Shivering, Donna tried
to get away from the persistent hands. The cold hands.

"Donna!" CJ yelled grabbing her arms and shaking her. "It's okay. It's
me. It's CJ."

Squeezing her eyes shut, Donna could hear herself whimper in fear. Not
again. No, not again.

"It's okay." CJ soothed wrapping her arms around a fighting Donna,
"It's not happening again. You're safe. I promise."

Her breathing ragged, Donna opened her eyes and found herself sobbing
fitfully on CJ's strong shoulder.

"You're safe, Donna." CJ whispered rubbing comforting circles on
Donna's back and holding onto her shaking frame. "It's over. Nobody's
going to hurt you."

"I was so scared." Donna gasped between her sobs. "I was so scared."

"I know, Donna. I know. You must have been scared. Anyone would have
been scared."

"I couldn't let him rape me CJ."

"It's over." CJ said holding Donna's shivering frame against her solid
one, "He can't hurt you anymore Donna. You're safe."

Nodding, Donna pulled away from CJ and rubbed furiously at her red
face. "I'm sorry."

"Do you want to talk about it?" CJ asked handing Donna a few tissues.

"No." Donna replied wiping her face.

"Donna," CJ warned, "you need to talk about it. If not with me than
with someone who can..."

"I don't want to talk about it CJ. Like you said it's over." Donna
said quickly. "It's over."

"Maybe here," CJ said gesturing around the room, "but not here." she
said putting her hand over her own heart. "You need to talk about it."

"I'm tired." Donna said not meeting CJ's worried eyes.

"You can't avoid this." CJ said stubbornly.

"I'm not." Donna countered.

"You are."

"No, I'm just tired." Donna denied closing her eyes.

"Donna," CJ sighed, "if you don't talk about this than you can't get better."

"CJ, I just can't get into it right now."

"Then when?" CJ asked.

"When I can handle it." Donna replied vaguely.

"Donna, if you won't talk to me about this, than how about Josh?"

"Don't tell Josh." Donna said opening her eyes in alarm, "You can't tell Josh."

"Why not?"

"Because he needs to focus on his job." Donna tried.

"Bull." CJ shot back.

"Because he doesn't need to worry about me."

"Too late." CJ said shaking her head.

"Because it'll bring back horrible memories." Donna whispered catching
CJ's hand. "Don't tell Josh, CJ. I don't want him to think about
Rossyln."

"He won't." CJ said lamely.

"He will." Donna said adamantly. "He will. I don't want to be the
reason that he falls back into where he was."

"Donna, you need help."

"I'll talk to someone CJ." Donna promised. "But please, don't tell Josh."

"I don't know."

"Please CJ," Donna begged, "promise me."

Hesitating, CJ nodded. "I promise."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Donna let her tight hold on CJ loosen and
fall away when Josh came back into the room with an amused doctor in
tow.

"How is my patient feeling this morning?" Dr. Beaker asked smiling at Donna.

Casting a quick look at CJ's worried face and than to Josh's concerned
one, Donna plastered a fake smile on her tired face. "The truth
doctor?"

"The truth would be nice." Dr. Beaker laughed.

Smiling at Josh, Donna turned back to her doctor. "A little banged up."

"She looks good." Dr. Beaker announced coming out of Donna's room and
finding four very worried looking people.

"Yeah?" Josh asked standing up.

"Yeah." Dr. Beaker said smiling at the anxiously man, "She is going to
make a full recovery in no time. I've prescribed some pain killers for
her and some rest."

"Rest?" Toby snorted, "I don't think Josh knows the meaning of that word."

Laughing, Sam nudged Josh playfully. "It seems that you're going to
have to get yourself a temp for a little while."

"I'll survive." Josh said positively.

"We'll see how long that lasts." Toby replied.

"So when can Donna go home?" Josh asked choosing to ignore Toby.

"I'm going to keep her for another night so that we can keep an eye on
her. If all goes well than she can go home tomorrow." Dr. Beaker
promised. "You can go in and see her if you like, but remember that
she needs her rest."

"Okay." Josh said leading Sam and Toby into the bright room.

"Dr. Beaker?" CJ asked catching the man before he could leave, "Do you
have second?"

"Of course. What can I help you with?"

"Well..." CJ began awkwardly, "I'm worried about Donna."

"How so?"

"She doesn't seem to want to talk about what happened."

"That's normal." Dr. Beaker assured. "She just needs to have a little
bit of time to come to terms with what happened."

"But she'll get better?" CJ asked anxiously, "I mean, what can I do?
What can we do to help?"

"Be there for her." Dr. Beaker said simply. "The police questioned Ms.
Moss in the ER, but they will be back today to talk with her. After
they see her, I'll send someone from psychology up to talk to her."

"Thank you."

"It's my job." Dr. Beaker assured, "Why don't you go and spend some
time with Ms. Moss before the others wear her out."

"Okay." CJ laughed feeling considerably better. Not completely, but
considerably.


"You should go."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Josh."

"Donna, forget it."

"So what are you going to do?" Donna asked frowning at Josh and
absently brushing away her stray strands, "You're going to sit here
all day and bug me?"

"No, keep you company." Josh corrected smiling broadly.

"You've got that thing with..."

"Sam took it." Josh said cutting Donna off.

"What about your meeting with..."

"Margaret re-scheduled it."

Squinting her eyes at Josh, Donna pointed an accusing finger. "How
could Margaret possibly re-schedule an appointment that didn't exist?"

"She's amazing that way." Leo said announcing his presence to the two.

"Hi Leo." Donna said smiling triumphantly at Josh.

"Hey Donna. You look good."

Rolling her eyes, Donna gestured at her bandage. "I look like a mummy."

"You look good." Leo repeated putting a coffee down for Josh. "You,
not so good."

"Thanks Leo." Josh sighed running his hand through his hair, "You
really know how to make a guy feel good."

Laughing, Leo handed Donna a Starbucks bag and some juice. "Margaret
was very specific about what to get you. It's probably not what she
told me to get you since I was listening to her."

"Thank Leo." Donna laughed picking at the warm pastry.

"She said she'd come by after work."

"Tell her she doesn't need too. I'll be home tomorrow anyway."

"I'll tell her," Leo shrugged, "but I doubt she'll listen to me. She
hardly does."

"I know the feeling." Josh mumbled sipping his coffee.

"Leo," Donna sighed glaring at Josh, "take him away. He's bothering me."

Grunting, Leo shook his head. "Why, oh why, do you seem so surprised by that?"

Laughing, Donna handed Josh the rest of her muffin and took his
coffee. "Tell Josh that he needs to go to work."

"Leo," Josh mock sighed through a mouthful of blueberry muffin, "tell
Donna to get over it. I'm not going anywhere."

"Leo, tell Josh that there's still a country that needs to be run."

"Leo, can you possibly inform Donna that the country is not going to
fall apart if I'm gone for one day?"

"Josh..." Donna growled.

"Donna." Josh mimicked.

"Do I even need to be here?" Leo asked grinning at the two. "Donna,
let Josh fuss. He'll get it out of his system and be out of your hair
before you know it."

"I doubt it." Donna mumbled frowning at Josh's triumphant grin.

Before Josh could get up and do a victory lap around the hospital
room, a perky nurse popped her head into the sunny room. "Well,
there's a party go on in here." she laughed rolling in her equipment.
"If you boys will give our patient and I a minute, I can do my job."

"We'll be right back." Josh assured Donna giving her hand a small squeeze.

"Okay." Donna said mustering up a small smile for Josh. Needles. The
nurse was towing in a basket full of needles. God, she hated needles.

Smiling, Leo followed Josh out of the room. "So, she looks good."

"I guess." Josh said shrugging his shoulders. "A little black and
blue, but yeah, better."

"You okay?" Leo asked laying a concerned hand on Josh's arm. "I mean, you okay?"

"Yeah." Josh said nodding his head, "I'm okay."

"Good." Leo said sighing a breath of relief. "Good."

"So I guess this is my turn to take care of Donna." Josh said grinning
when he heard Donna yelp at the sting of the needle. She hated
needles. He knew she hated needles. She didn't need him to take care
of her, his ass.

"Yeah."

"Do you need me to come in?" Josh asked looking up at Leo reluctantly.
"I mean, it's my job and I know that..."

"Relax." Leo said waving Josh away. "It's a Friday and pretty light.
Take care of Donna, and don't get kicked out of here in the process."

"I'll try." Josh laughed, "What am I going to miss today?"

"Nothing. Contrary to what you may think Josh, we're going to get
along fine without you for one day." Leo grinned.

"Sure, you say that now, but I'll be the one laughing when you call me later."

"When we call later, it's going to be because we want to know where
you keep the takeout menus."

"Ha, ha." Josh said shaking his head. "What are they doing today? Sam
has my thing and Toby has..."

"Josh." Leo said cutting Josh off. "Relax. We've got it covered. You
take care of Donna, and I'll take care of the country."

"Sounds good to me."

"Go in and see what that nurse is doing to Donna," Leo said gesturing
at the closed door, "and I'm gonna go to staff."

"Okay." Josh said practically sprinting back into Donna's room and
missing Leo's amused and sentimental smile. A rare sight if there ever
was one.

"Do you think that Donna is going to be okay?"

Looking up at Sam from his yellow note pad, Toby rubbed his eyes in
agitation. "What?"

"I said ..."

"I heard you Sam," Toby sighed in that strangled way of his, "I heard
you. Why are you asking me that? The doctor said that Donna is going
to be okay."

"I know," Sam said smiling over his coffee, "I just feel bad leaving
Donna alone with an anxious and overprotective Josh."

"How is that different from any other day?" CJ asked flipping through her notes.

"Donna doesn't have the strength to smack him upside the head when he
gets annoying." Sam pointed out.

"God," CJ said looking up, "you're right. We didn't leave her anything
to hurt him with."

"She's in a hospital." Toby said trying to hide his amusement, "If
Josh becomes too much trouble, Donna will somehow convince someone to
sedate him."

"You're right." CJ grinned.

"She's a smart girl." Sam chuckled mirroring CJ's grin.

"She is." Toby agreed gruffly. "Now do we want to talk about something
productive?"

"Like how you seem to be sweet and sour at the same time?" CJ teased.

"I'm not pork chops CJ."

"Oh Tobus, if only you were."

"Okay," Toby said shaking his head at CJ, "I'm not talking to you
until you get some sleep."

"I'm perfectly fine." CJ frowned.

"Sure." Toby replied. "Has anyone approached you yet?"

"About last night? No."

"Okay." Toby frowned trying to figure out what to do, "Either no one
has picked it up..."

"Not likely." Sam sighed.

"Or they're waiting to drop it on you during the briefing." Toby
sighed. He didn't like that option.

"Maybe." CJ sighed. She didn't like that option either.

Before Toby could sigh again, Margaret popped her head into Leo's
office. "Toby? Ginger says that Katie wants to talk to you."

"Katie from the Times?" Toby asked throwing CJ a look.

"Yeah."

"Okay." Toby said gathering his things. "Okay."

"You should go home and try to get some sleep."

"You should sleep."

"You probably didn't sleep much last night."

"Not much different from any other night."

"You had a rough night. You need your rest."

"Look who's talking. If anyone needs rest, it's you."

"You can't be comfortable in that chair. Did you sleep in that chair
all night? Josh, you're probably all sore and stiff."

"That bed can't be much more comfortable than this chair, but if
you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting..." Josh grinned, "Than
I regret to inform you that there isn't enough room on the bed for the
two of us."

"There's enough room on your bed at home, isn't there?"

"Didn't we go through this already?" Josh asked taking his eye off
C-Span and smiling at Donna, "I mean, didn't I win already?"

"You didn't win." Donna frowned.

"I'm here, aren't I?" Josh asked smirking.

"You're insufferable, you know that?" Donna asked with a small smile.

"I'm a lovable guy."

"You didn't win." Donna said taking the remote away from Josh and
flipping off of C-Span before he started shouting at the television
and waking the poor people on the floor who actually needed rest.

"Oh I did Donna. I won. You lost. Simple as that."

"You did not win Josh. You are merely being stubborn." Donna pointed out.

"Ah huh." Josh grunted, not sounding too convinced. "Sure. You believe
what you want to believe."

"You didn't win." Donna repeated fighting against her heavy eye lids.
A losing battle, Josh noticed.

"You're right." Josh sighed trying to pacify Donna.

"I usually am."

Laughing, Josh gently pulled the blanket up and tucked Donna in. "Why
don't you try to get some sleep?"

"Are you staying?" Donna asked her voice hazy and slightly nervous.

Smiling to himself, Josh carefully brushed Donna's hair back. She
didn't need him, his ass. "Yeah." Josh whispered watching sleep creep
up to Donna, "I'm staying. You can't get rid of me that easily."

"So I've noticed." Donna mumbled before much need sleep claimed her.

Settling into his chair, Josh watched with avid attention as Donna
breathing slowed down and a little bit of harmony eased into her tight
features. "Josh?"

"Yeah?" Josh asked jumping up in alarm.

Slowing opening her sleepy eyes, Donna smiled sheepishly. "I'm glad
you're staying."

Letting out a relieved breath, Josh was pretty sure that he looked
pretty stupid wearing such a silly grin. "I'm glad I'm staying too."

"I didn't get the question."

"Yeah." Toby said not looking up from his papers.

"Yeah." CJ said settling herself on Toby's couch. "I wonder why."

"Will the wonders never cease?" Toby asked sarcastically, as he marked
something in the margins of his papers.

"What did you say to Katie?" CJ asked casually playing with her pen.

"Katie and I came to an understanding."

"What kind of agreement?" CJ asked warily.

"We have an understanding."

"Stop being so god damn vague and tell me what the agreement was." CJ snapped.

Looking up, Toby shrugged his shoulders. "Katie is a good person."

"Yes she is."

"And a friends of Donna's."

"Yes."

"And it wasn't her kind of story."

"No?"

"No."

"Okay." CJ said getting up, "As long as you didn't trade your soul or
something."

Grinning, Toby went back to his papers. "I don't know anyone who would
want my soul."

"I could think of a few people." CJ said throwing Toby a smile before
heading back to her own office.

"Eat it."

Pouting, Donna shook her head and pushed the tray away.

"You need to eat." Josh sighed pushing the tray back. "You haven't
eaten anything all day."

"I'm not hungry."

"Yes you are."

"You eat."

"As soon as you do." Josh shot back, "You need to eat."

"I really don't."

"Donna," Josh sighed picking up the cherry jello, "please try and eat?
Weren't you the one who told me that if you don't eat you'll never get
better?"

Frowning, Donna took the jello from Josh. Never did she think he would
have an opportunity to throw her words back at him. "Fine."

"Thank you." Josh grinned.

"I don't like you."

Smiling, Josh spread some jam on Donna's toast. "You'll like me when
you realize that I'm right."

"Shut up."

"Okay," Josh laughed biting the toast, "okay."

Taking a bite of her jello, Donna couldn't help but smile at Josh and
his inability to behave like a grown man. "You are such a slob."

"What?" Josh asked looking up.

Shaking her head, Donna grabbed her napkin and gently wiped Josh's
chin. "Should I run down to the maternity ward and see if they have a
spare bib?"

Catching her hand, Josh seriously studied Donna's surprised
expression. "I really don't think that you're in any condition to be
running anywhere."

Putting on a reassuring smile, Donna squeezed Josh's fingers. "I'm
okay. Really."

"Are you?" Josh asked skeptically.

"Really." Donna lied looking down.

"Donna," Josh whispered catching her off guard with his tenderness, "it's me."

"It is." Donna replied smiling nervously.

"You can talk to me about anything."

"I know."

Putting down his toast, Josh scooted over so that he was sitting right
beside Donna on the bed. "Do you?"

Looking everywhere but Josh, Donna pushed her jello around the little
bowl. This wasn't something that she wanted to talk about. Not to CJ.
Not to some psychology student who seemed more interested in finding
an interesting problem to analyze. And especially not to Josh. She
would be fine. She'd go on with her life and forget that it had ever
happen. She would forget. Wouldn't she?

"Donna?" Josh asked taking the jello away from her suddenly trembling
hands and putting it down.

"Yeah?" Donna asked clasping her shaking hands together and watching
them sit in her lap.

"Talk to me." Josh pleaded gently stroking her cheek.

Blinking away her sudden tears with embarrassment, Donna tried to form
the words. She tried to bring herself to tell him how afraid she was
and how much she wanted him to hold her until she was strong enough to
deal with it all, but no matter how hard she tried the words wouldn't
come. It all caught in her throat and threatened to suffocate her.

"Oh Donna." Josh whispered wrapping his arms around her and pulling
her right against him. He really didn't know if it was for her
comfort, or for his. Mindful of her angry purple bruises, Josh held
Donna as she cried softly on his shoulder. "It's going to be okay
Donnatella. It's going to be okay."

Burying her face in his shoulder, Donna shed silent tears as Josh
shared his strength with her. "This is silly." Donna whispered trying
to pull away from Josh.

"What?" Josh asked capturing Donna's red face between his gentle hands.

"I'm crying for nothing." Donna blushed as Josh tenderly caught her
tears with his thumbs and wiped them away, "It's over and I'm okay. I
shouldn't be crying."

"You went through a lot last night Donna. There's nothing wrong with
crying." Josh said seriously.

Looking down, Donna was surprised to feel Josh pull her face back up
to look at his.

Taking a deep breath, Josh tried to make sense of the jumble of
emotions running through him and all the words that were piling up in
his chest. There was so much that he wanted to say. Where did he
start? How did he start? What exactly was he trying to start?

"Josh?" Donna asked concerned as she watched Josh zone out. Did she
start it? Was he remembering everything that she didn't want him to
remember? Did she trigger flashbacks? Did she do exactly what it was
that she didn't want to do? Grasping Josh's arms, Donna shook him.
"Josh?"

"Yeah?" Josh asked snapping out of his little reverie to find Donna
watching him with panic etched across her face. Her beautiful flushed
face fit perfectly in his hands. He could sit here and happily hold
her forever. Even after a horrific night and sleep deprived night, his
Donnatella still looked beautiful. His? When exactly did she become
his Donnatella? More importantly, was she his? Was he hers?

"Are you okay?" Donna asked still gripping his strong arms. Arms that
she'd spent a lot of time thinking about.

"I'm fine." Josh stuttered feeling his face go red. Did she see right
through him? If she knew what he was thinking about right that second
she'd probably smack him and send CJ to finish him off.

"Okay." Donna said warily.

"Donna...I...you see...the thing is..." Josh stammered as he stroked her cheek
slowly with his thumb, "I..."

"Yes?" Donna prompted looking up at Josh with clear blue eyes.

Before Josh could stumble around some more with his pile of words and
emotions, a light knock came at the door. Letting out a frustrated
breath, Josh turned around to find Officer Lewis standing awkwardly at
the door.

"Good Afternoon."

Sighing, Josh pulled away from Donna and nodded at Officer Lewis. "Officer."

"I'm sorry if I'm interrupting." Dylan said offering Josh's frustrated
face a sympathetic smile, "I can come back later."

Before Donna could shoo the grinning Officer away and ask Josh what it
was he wanted to tell her, Josh got off of her bed and waved the
officer in.

"No, no." Josh mumbled getting up and reluctantly putting some space
between him and Donna, "Come in."

"Good morning Ms. Moss." Dylan said slipping into the room.

"Morning, Officer Lewis. And it's Donna. Remember?" Donna replied as
she shot Josh a confused look. What had he been trying to tell her?

"I'm sorry to come by so early," Dylan said standing at the foot of
Donna's bed, "but there are still a few things that I need to ask
you."

"I told you everything that I knew in the ER." Donna said shaking her
head in confusion, "I don't have anything else to tell you."

"I understand Donna, but I'm just following procedure. This will only
take a few minutes. I promise."

"Okay." Donna sighed catching Josh's suddenly wide eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I'm vibrating." Josh sighed pulling his beeper off of his belt.

"Take it."

"No," Josh said stubbornly, "I'm gonna stay here with you."

"It could be Leo."

"I want to stay here with you." Josh said moving back to her side.

Smiling at Josh, Donna patted his hand. "Go. I'll be fine."

"I'll be gentle," Dylan laughed, "I promise."

"I'll be right back." Josh said squeezing Donna's hand.

"Go." Donna laughed.

"I'll be right back." Josh repeated before slipping out of the door.

Smiling at the door, Donna didn't notice the amused smile on Dylan's face.

"You've got a great boyfriend."

Looking up at Officer Lewis in surprise, Donna could feel her face
heat up. "He's not my boyfriend. We're just friends."

Pulling out his notebook, Dylan smiled slyly. "Really?"

"Really." Donna squeaked.

"Huh." Dylan grinned, "You could have fooled me."

Donna knew that she should brush his comment aside and proceed with
the questioning, but something in her wanted to know. Something in her
was desperate to know and she was too tired to play the denial game
with herself right now. "Why?"

"Why what?"

Picking at her blanket, Donna shrugged. "Why did you think that he was
my boyfriend?"

Settling down in Josh's chair, Dylan told Donna seriously. "Over the
years I've had to tell a lot of people bad news, and I saw him last
night while he was waiting for you. That's how I know."

"He was worried." Donna mumbled, "So were CJ, Sam and Toby."

"True." Dylan replied, "But he wasn't just worried Donna."

"No?"

"No. He was devastated."

Laughing bitterly, Donna shook her head. "He was probably worried that
there wouldn't be anyone to organize his files. You're reading too
much into his reaction. Josh is excitable that way."

"Or maybe you're not reading enough into it." Dylan countered watching
Donna digest that little bit of information. "Maybe you don't realize
how much you mean to Josh."

Letting silence fall over the room, Donna shifted uncomfortably under
Dylan's knowing smile. He was wrong...wasn't he? "So..."

"So?"

Taking a deep breath, Donna sat up. "You had some questions?"

Operating on automatic, Josh quickly dialed his number as he thought
about Donna. Why couldn't he just spit the words out? Why couldn't he
just say what he was thinking? Because he was an idiot, that's why.
Resisting the urge to bang his head against the wall, Josh listen as
the dull ringing filled his ear.

"Hello?"

"It's Josh. You paged me?"

"Yeah," Sam said as he juggled his phone and the files that Cathy had
just thrust into his arms, "Leo needs you to come back."

"Now?" Josh sighed.

"Sorry." Sam said sympathetically, "I know that you would rather stay
there with Donna, but we need you. Four hours top Josh."

"It's okay. I just don't want to leave her alone yet, Sam. She's
putting on a brave front but she'll still pretty shaken."

"She won't be alone." Sam assured. "CJ already left. She should be
there soon. Toby will run by to stay with Donna so that CJ can make it
back for her briefing and I'll try to get there as quickly as I can to
save Donna."

Laughing, Josh had to remind himself that he was in a hospital. A
hospital that he knew had an abundance of disapproving nurses. "I
appreciate it. Even if Donna probably won't."

"Yeah." Sam agreed, "So see you soon?"

"Yeah." Josh laughed, "I'll be there soon."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye." Josh said hanging up. Shaking his head, Josh made his way back
to Donna's room. She probably wouldn't be too happy with the revolving
door of baby-sitters, but Josh wasn't going to leave if she was going
to be alone.

"Hey." Donna said looking up from her jello.

"You guys finished already?" Josh asked taking a seat on the bed.

"He wasn't joking when he said that he only had a few questions."
Donna said taking a bite of her jello. "Work?"

"Yeah. I need to go in for a couple of hours."

"You're going to go home and shower."

Grinning, Josh took a bite of his discarded toast. "Why did that sound
more like an order than a question?"

"Because it was an order smart." Donna deadpanned. "You need a shower
and some sleep."

Laughing, Josh swallowed hastily. "Okay."

"I'm going to be okay Josh." Donna smiled.

"I know." Josh lied.

"You probably won't be without me there to make sense out of your
office, but you'll have to make do without me."

"I suppose." Josh said sighing dramatically.

"You could try and help me break out of this joint." Donna teased.

"You are going to take advantage of this day off and sleep." Josh
ordered. "You are going to rest up, right?"

"I am going to make sure that she does just that."

Looking up at their sudden guest, Donna glared at Josh. "You organized
a baby sitter for me?"

"Josh didn't." CJ assured, "We did that all by ourselves, but because
we knew that he would refuse to leave if we left you all alone."

"Thanks CJ." Josh sighed, "Way to help my case there."

"I try." CJ laughed. "Hey, you look better."

"I look like a mummy." Donna sighed still frowning at Josh.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Josh asked trying not to smile.
She looked so cute when she was pissed. "I didn't do anything."

"Go to work." Donna grumbled.

"Okay." Josh laughed, "I'll see you later."

"Go home and shower." Donna ordered, "Try and get something to eat."

"You too." Josh said grinning like a fool. "Do you want me to bring
you anything?"

"Real food?" Donna asked.

"Chinese?"

"Yum, that sounds good."

"The usual?" Josh asked.

"Yeah, and extra..."

"Fortune cookies." Josh finished, "I know."

"Thanks." Donna laughed. "Now go."

"Okay, okay. Bye." Josh said grabbing his jacket. "Take care of her CJ."

"I'll do my best." CJ laughed, mock saluting Josh.

Shaking his head, Josh gave Donna's hand a quick squeeze. "I'll be
back later Donna."

"I know." Donna assured, "Don't mess my up files too bad Joshua."

"Don't ask the impossible Donnatella." Josh laughed, "Bye."

"Bye." Donna said watching him slip out of the room. Maybe Dylan
wasn't too far off.

"You can stop grinning now. He's gone." CJ said settling herself on Donna's bed.

Blushing, Donna picked at her jello. "Claudia Jean, leave the sick girl alone."

"You don't look sick to me. You look rosy and happier than I've see
you in a long time."

Raising an amused eyebrow, Donna took the last bite of her jello. "I
look happy? After the night that I had, I wouldn't think that I look
happy."

"You look like a woman who has figured out something." CJ said
cryptically, "Something that had been bothering her for a long time."

"You're talking in code now?" Donna laughed.

"You understand."

"Do I now?" Donna asked.

"You do." CJ said confidently, "You do."

"Okay." Donna laughed, "Okay."

"Are you trying to pacify me?" CJ asked with mock anger.

"Yup." Donna laughed.



"And you said that you wouldn't need me." Josh said walking into Leo's
office and taking a seat in the visitors chair.

Looking up from his desk, Leo grinned at Josh. "Don't let it get to
your head. Toby was to busy to take this."

"So what needs the Lyman touch?"

"Is the Lyman touch anything like the Midas touch?"

"Mr. President." Josh said standing up.

"Nice to see you Josh." Jed grinned, "So are you just temp-ing now? I
haven't seen you all day."

"No." Josh laughed, "I'm still working full time here."

"Good." Jed laughed. "I heard about Donna. How is she?"

"Better sir."

"I'm sure that you didn't want to leave her just yet," Jed said
throwing Leo a knowing smile, "but we needed you here."

"Of course sir." Josh replied confused by the smiles that the
President and Leo were passing each other. "So...what's going on?"

"We've got information that Jones and Gardner jumped." Leo said
handing Josh a couple of files.

"When?" Josh asked quickly scanning over the papers.

"Just now. We need you to go to the Hill and fix this." Leo said
seriously. "We can't lose there votes."

"Okay." Josh sighed. Well, this was going to be hard. Concentrating on
work while worried about Donna. Yeah, this was going to be hard.

"You don't need to stay." Donna pointed out.

Looking up from the files that he brought with him, Toby shrugged.
"I'm staying."

"Do you need help?" Donna asked reaching for the files that Toby had
spread over the bed.

"Rest." Toby commanded brushing Donna's hands away.

Rolling her eyes, Donna leaned back against her pillows. "I don't think I can."

"Do I need to go and get a sedative for you?" Toby asked sounding
completely serious.

"I don't need a baby-sitter." Donna grumbled.

"Do I look like a gawky teenager trying to make some money?" Toby
asked while scribbling down something on his note pad.

"No." Donna laughed. She couldn't picture Toby as anything more than a
disgruntled and aggravated man.

"Than I would appreciate it if you didn't refer to me as a baby-sitter."

"I'll try my best." Donna said sarcastically.

"Donna," Toby sighed looking up from his papers, "rest. If you don't
rest then Sam will come in here and see how tired you look. Then he'll
tell Josh, because lets face it, Sam can't keep anything from anyone.
And then there will be hell to pay because ..."

"Are you scared of Josh?" Donna teased cutting Toby off.

"When it comes to you, than yes, I am. Josh is very protective of
you." Toby replied sincerely.

"O...ok...kay." Donna stuttered.

"So you'll rest?" Toby asked in that gruff but lovable way of his.

"Sure." Donna lied thinking about what Toby just said.

"Good." Toby grunted going back to his work.

Rushing back into his bullpen, Josh wasn't surprised to find Sam
waiting in his office.

"You got it?" Sam asked anxiously.

"I got Jones and Gardner." Josh said throwing off his coat and handing
Sam the files that he would need. "Only took me three hours."

"Hey, you got them. That's what counts. You gonna go and tell Leo?"

"I called him already." Josh said absently rubbing his cold hands, "It
is freezing outside."

"You walked?" Sam asked surprised.

"Traffic is horrible today." Josh shrugged flipping through the pile
of messages on his desk. "It took me forever to get here from G.W. I
didn't want to waste any more time than those two windbags would have
cost me."

"Good thinking. Listen, do you need..."

"Wait." Josh said looking up at Sam with a confused expression on his face.

"What?" Sam asked regarding Josh's sudden outburst oddly.

"You." Josh frowned, "What are you doing here?"

"I work here Josh." Sam laughed shaking his head, "Have you had your
coffee today?"

"NO." Josh said shaking his head adamantly, "You're suppose to be with
Donna. Right now." Josh said looking down at his watch for emphasis.
"My watch may suck, but it's not that far off. Why aren't you with
Donna?"

"Oh." Sam said sheepishly. "That."

"Yes. That." Josh replied advancing on Sam, "You left her with Toby?!"

"Well," Sam said backing up, "no."

"No?" Josh asked letting out a relieved breath. "So you left her with CJ."

"Well...not exactly." Sam stuttered.

"One of the assistants?"

"No." Sam muttered.

"Sam?" Josh asked in a dangerous tone. "Did you leave Donna alone?"

"I went!" Sam exclaimed pleading his case. "I went at my appointed
time and I did save her from Toby and his incessant grumbling."

"Then what are you doing here?!" Josh demanded gesturing around his
office. "I can't believe you left her alone!"

Putting his hands up to hold Josh off from attacking him, Sam smiled
sheepishly. "I...you see...the thing is...Donna can be very convincing?"

"Was that a question, or a statement?" Josh asked scowling at Sam.

"A statement?" Sam offered. Watching Josh's frown deepen, Sam tried to
explain his side. "I went, Josh. I did. I even brought her flowers."

"You did?" Josh asked slight dejected. He was going to get her flowers
with dinner. Scrap that idea.

"I did. I got there and she didn't even smile. She yelled!"

"She yelled?" Josh laughed.

"She threw a pillow." Sam added laughing at the memory. "Imagine how I
felt. I walk in, ready to entertain her and you know, save her from
Toby and what do I get? A pillow launched at my head. She hit me dead
on the head."

"She's got a great arm," Josh grinned, "but that still doesn't explain
why you're here and not there with her."

"The fact that she was flinging things at me as way of a greeting
wasn't a very good sign." Sam explained. "Donna was mad at the, and I
quote, 'revolving door of baby-sitters.'"

"So she's mad at me?" Josh asked sitting down tiredly. Dealing with a
grumpy Donna wasn't going to be fun, but hey, he didn't know any other
way he wanted to spend the night.

"More annoyed than anything." Sam shrugged, glad to see that Josh
wasn't about to hurt him. "She promised that she was okay, and made it
very clear that, and I quote, 'a big girl.'"

"Still." Josh sighed rubbing his head.

"I'm sure that if she needed anything she would call."

"Yeah." Josh said looking at his phone. Maybe he would call her. Make
sure that she was okay. Not checking up on her. No. More
like...um...calling to tell her how his meetings went. Score. Perfect
cover.

"You done for the day?" Sam asked snapping Josh back to reality.

"Huh?" Josh asked looking up. "No. No. Still got a couple things to do
before I can do. Another hour maybe."

"Okay." Sam said lingering at the door. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah." Josh replied absently as he reached for his phone. His hand
was just hovering above the receiver when the phone rang. Grinning,
Josh picked it up. Donna had great timing. "Hello?"

"J."

Groaning internally, Josh resisted the urge to pound his head against
his desk. The day just kept on getting better and better. First
getting interrupted by Officer Dylan, then getting called into work,
then three hours with complete and utter idiots who they needed, do
Josh had no choice but to be nice and now this. Life just wasn't fair.
Was it karma coming back to bite him in the ass? He'd have to ask
Donna about that.

"J.!" Amy snapped, "Are you listening to me?"

"Yeah." Josh sighed rubbing his eyes. Would it be bad form to hang up
on his ex-girlfriend? Wait. Were they over yet? Did he have to make it
clear to her? Did they or didn't they break up last night? Oh yeah,
the day just kept on getting better and better.

"Where have you been?"

"Working." Josh sighed. He had to refrain from going, 'duh!'

"I've been calling."

"Yeah?" Josh asked trying to feign interest.

"Yes. I've been trying to reach you all morning."

"Yeah?"

"Can we possibly have a civilized conversation?" Amy asked. Even from
here, Josh could feel the frost directed at him.

"Sure."

"You're impossible, you know that?"

Josh had to physically cover his mouth, because he knew he'd tell her
that Donna loved that about him.

"J.?"

"I'm here." Josh sighed. Sighing. He'd been doing that a lot since he
and Amy started their...thing. That was it. It was a thing. It wasn't a
relationship. It was a thing. A painful and not very much fun...thing.

"You haven't apologized yet."

"Excuse me?" Josh asked sitting up straight now.

"You haven't apologized yet." Amy repeated.

"I heard you the first time." Josh replied, "I'm confused about what
for exactly."

"For being a jackass." Amy shot back.

"That's part of my charm." Josh told her sarcastically.

"Shut up." Amy snapped.

"You can't do that 'don't talk to me' crap over the phone Amy." Josh
laughed. Damn it felt good to tell her that. "The beauty of phones are
that I don't have to talk to you if I don't want to."

"You know what J.?"

"What?" Josh asked. Should he tell her that he hated that "J." crap
too? He was on a role. Why not.

"I was ready to forgive you..."

"Again," Josh interrupted, "for what exactly, I'm not sure."

"...but now," Amy said forging ahead, "I don't think I will."

"Then don't." Josh answered not at all bothered.

"What?" Amy asked obviously surprised.

"I said, 'then don't.'" Josh repeated smugly.

"You jackass." Amy hissed.

"Amy, hate me. Fine. You wouldn't be the only person in D.C. to hate me."

"Of course not." Amy scoffed.

"I think we should see other people." Josh said seriously.

"You're breaking up with me over the phone?" Amy exclaimed. "I cannot
believe you."

"It's not working. We're not working."

"Jackass." Amy repeated.

"Sure. Yeah, I probably am, but I would be an even bigger one if I
pretended that we were working."

"J.?"

"Yeah?"

"Go to hell."

"Okay." Josh replied. "Bye." Hanging up the phone, Josh couldn't stop
smiling. For once in their...thing, he'd gotten the last word. It felt
nice. Leaning back in his chair, Josh wasn't surprised when his phone
started ringing immediately. Of course Amy wouldn't sleep knowing that
she didn't get the last word. Grabbing the phone, Josh held it to his
ear as he tried to make sense of the files on his desk. God, he needed
Donna to make sense of all this. "Yes Amy?"

"Josh?"

"Donna?"

"Uh, yeah." Donna said sounding uncomfortable. "I can let you go if
you're expecting a call from Amy."

"No! No. No." Josh said smacking himself on the head. He was an idiot.
An idiot worthy of punishment from CJ.

"Okay." Donna said hesitantly, "Are you sure? If you're waiting for Amy..."

"No. No." Josh said cutting her off. "I'm not waiting for Amy. I was
actually just about to call you."

"Yeah?" Donna asked trying to act nonchalant.

"Yeah." Josh grinned feeling the tension from his conversation with
Amy melt away as he talked to Donna.

"I just wanted to call and see how your meetings went."

"Really?" Josh asked feeling his grin grow.

"Yeah. Toby filled me in."

"I got them." Josh told her proudly.

"Of course you did." Donna said seriously. For some reason her faith
in him made him feel disgustingly proud. "Did you behave?"

"Of course." Josh lied.

"How many letters of apology am I going to have to send out Joshua?"

"None." Josh promised. He'd write them himself. You know, eventually.

"You're going to write them yourself, aren't you?" Donna asked laughing.

"Yes." Josh admitted. See, why couldn't all relationships be like
this? Actually fun. Probably because he'd never been in a relationship
with Donna. Hmm, that could probably be debated.

"So, you're done?" Donna asked trying not to sound desperate. She was
scared and too proud to admit it. Josh would drop everything and come
if she asked him too, but then when she was better he would spend
countless hours snarking her. And...there was also the fact that Donna
didn't like admitting defeat. Especially when she'd gone to so much
trouble to guilt Sam into leaving.

"Soon." Josh promised. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm fine." Donna rushed.

"Donna," Josh said sounding skeptical, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Donna said slower this time.

"Donna."

"Yes Josh?"

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." Donna lied looking around her slowly darkening hospital
room. She was a big girl. She could take care of herself. That was her
mantra. She would repeat is over and over again till she felt better.

"All right." Josh sighed. "I'll be done in an hour. Two tops."

"Okay." Donna replied trying to sound brave. A worried Josh usually
wasn't a very productive Josh, "Go and work. I'll be fine."

"Okay." Josh said slowly. He was worried, but he couldn't drop his
work. This was important. Donna was important. Oh the choices.

"Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to hang up?" Donna asked smiling down into her phone.

"Are you tired Donna?" Josh asked suddenly.

"I've done nothing but lie in bed all day, Joshua." Donna replied
rolling her eyes, "I am restless, bored and annoyed that you would
even ask me that."

"Whoa." Josh laughed, "Obviously a stupid question. Listen, if you're
not tired, do you want to help me?"

"Help you?"

"Yeah," Josh said getting excited with his marvelous idea, "help me.
Tell me where everything is. I'll get done faster if you'll tell me
where to find things." And he'd be able to work knowing that she was
all right. A win win situation. He was brilliant!

"Okay." Donna said feeling relief wash over her. "That's a good idea.
I don't want you taking my well ordered files and creating chaos. What
do you need first?"

"You are a good man Joshua." Donna moaned closing her eyes and leaning
back against her fluffy pillows.

"I know." Josh smirked leaning back against the headboard.

"No," Donna said shaking her head adamantly and looking at Josh with
bright eyes, "I really don't think you do. You are a good, very good
man."

"Good enough for you to get me coffee?" Josh asked watching Donna
devour another piece of kung pow chicken.

Snorting, Donna gently nudged Josh with her shoulder. "You wish."

"Can't blame a guy for trying." Josh laughed taking a bite of his fried noodles.

"This is delicious." Donna whimpered taking some of Josh's fried
noodles. "I missed real food."

"Don't you think you're being a little dramatic?" Josh asked turning
to look at Donna. Grinning, Josh wasn't surprised to find Donna
pouting her beautiful lips at him. "Okay. Okay. You're not. You want
some more of my noodles?" he asked as a piece offereing.

"No. I'm stuffed." Donna smiled riffling through the takeout boxes on
the bed and finding the remote. "How is the real world today?" she
asked wistfully as Aaron Brown's face appeared on the screen.

"Smoggy?" Josh offered shifting on the narrow bed in an attempt to
give Donna more room.

"Dork." Donna sighed playfully. "Fill me in. What happened at work today?"

"Donna," Josh sighed, "I was on the hill of three hours harassing
incompetent men, then I went back to the White House where I proceeded
to spend an hour on the phone with you. What could you possibly want
to know?"

"What happened at work today." Donna laughed watching Josh playfully
scowl at her. "Josh, I meant what happened with the people."

"Oh," Josh said dramatically, "you want to know gossip."

"Not gossip Josh. Just what is going on in the lives of my fellow co-workers."

"Uh huh. A fancy way to say gossip."

"Listen buster." Donna said frowning at Josh, "You didn't bring me
anything to do and you left me with baby-sitters. The least you can do
is entertain me."

"And how do you suggest I do that?" Josh asked smiling suggestively at Donna.

She could feel her face start to flush at the proximity of Josh's
face. Her heart begin to race and pound madly. Okay, what to do. Grab
his face and kiss him was one option. And she would have done it too
if she didn't hear Josh's voice in her head greeting Amy. No. No. No.
Not again. Donna had been in a relationship that had been destroyed by
a third party. She couldn't do that. Donna couldn't make a move on
Josh if he was involved with Amy. Yeah, that was one big excuse. The
fact that she was scared shitless that Josh would do the "Wow Donna,
you're like a little sister to me..." could be why she didn't just grab
him and kiss him senseless. OR, there was the fact that Sam decided to
breeze into the charged hospital room right at that moment.

"Hi Sam." Donna said trying to sound cheerful, but really passing as
strained. Realizing how close she and Josh were on the bed, Donna
moved up a little in an attempt to put some space between them.

"Hey guys..." Sam said trailing off when he saw Josh scowl at him from
behind Donna's tight and flushed face. Man, Sam sighed realizing that
he'd walked in on something, he really did have the worst timing.

Seeing Sam stand awkwardly at the door, Donna waved him in. No need to
make this situation more uncomfortable than it already was. "Are you
going to stand there all night? Come in."

"I...you see...they're almost..." Sam stuttered glancing out the door behind
him nervously and at Josh.

"They who?" Josh asked groaning as he rested his head on Donna's
elegant shoulder. Her hair smelt so good. The perfect combination of
lilies and Donna. Sam must have brought Donna her shampoo when he ran
over to grab some essentials. God, she smelt good. Bad thoughts. Bad
thoughts. Well...not so much bad unpleasant, as bad timing bad. Sam. Sam
was a dead man.

"They, CJ and Toby."

Reaching back and patting Josh's head lightly as he groaned, Donna
offered Sam an understanding smile. "Did you bring me more flowers?"

"No." Sam laughed still looking uncomfortable.

"That's okay. Just remember to bring them next time you come." Donna
teased trying to ease the tension in the room. God, Josh's hair was so
soft and silky. Bad thoughts. Inappropriate thoughts. Oh, go away
everyone.

"And call next time." Josh sighed still resting his head on Donna's
comfortable shoulder and reveling in the feeling of her slender
fingers weaving comforting patterns through his hair.

"Josh." Donna reprimanded gently and sharing a smile with Sam, "I
don't intend on being here long enough for Sam to have to call ahead
of time to tell me he's coming to see me."

"I just want to say that this wasn't my idea." Sam said in a rush. "CJ
wanted to come and see how you were and Toby wanted to see if you
killed Josh yet in a fit of rage. I'm here because..."

"Sam." Donna laughed, "It's okay. Ignore Josh. He's just grumpy. Come
in. Come in."

"Donna!" CJ smiled pushing Sam into the room and pulling Toby in behind her.

"Hi CJ. Hey Toby." Donna smiled nudging Josh discreetly. Having Sam
seeing them like this, sitting together on her hospital bed, was okay
but it might be pushing it if the Press Secretary and Communication
Director saw. However, it didn't seem to bother or worry Josh since he
wasn't making any move to get off the bed or her shoulder for that
matter.

"Is he asleep?" CJ asked grinning at Donna.

"No." Donna said poking Josh now. "Okay...maybe."

"Did you sedate him?" Toby asked slipping into the visitor chair and
grabbing a takeout box.

"I'm awake." Josh said dragging himself away from Donna. "No state
emergency tonight that needs your attention?"

Hitting Josh gently, Donna smiled up at three curious faces. "I'd tell
you to ignore him but you guys know that already."

"You guys still hungry?" CJ asked holding out a paper bag mischievously.

"Depends." Josh and Donna replied in unison.

"Some dessert courtesy of our favorite little caf‚."

"Cheesecake?" Donna asked her face lighting up.

"Chocolate." CJ confirmed handing Donna the bag.

"Yummy." Donna said pulling out the plastic container.

"How about me?" Josh asked looking for another container, but not
surprisingly, there wasn't one.

"We didn't know that you'd be here." Toby said dryly. "Imagine my
surprise when I walked in and I saw you here with Donna."

"We can share." Donna laughed trying to soothe Josh's ruffled feathers.

"Can I have some?" Sam asked playfully.

"You should have been smart enough to get some for yourself." Donna
laughed feeding Josh a quick bite before devouring some cheesecake
herself. "This is delicious." Donna moaned appreciatively.

"It sure is." Josh whispered watching Donna intently. Donna didn't
notice, but the other three sure did. Did they know, the threesome
wondered as they watched Josh and Donna, or were they really that
stupid?

"Thanks you guys." Donna said taking another bite.

"No problem." CJ said sharing knowing smiles with Toby and Sam.

"Do you want some more?" Donna asked turning her attention to Josh.

"Ah, no." Josh said shaking his head as he watched the three
Musketeers share smiles eerily similar to the one that Leo and the
President exchanged this morning. What was with everyone today? Did
someone spike the coffee? Did they all share a joint in staff this
morning?



"I'm gonna go and get some coffee." Josh said getting off of Donna's
bed and stretching, "You guys want any?"

"How about you go home and get some sleep instead of digesting more
coffee than you need too?" Donna suggested not too subtly.

"Do you want coffee?" Josh asked ignoring Donna's question.

"Are you going to go home and sleep?"

"I'm not sleepy." Josh replied.

"I don't believe you." Donna snorted.

"I'm offering to get you coffee." Josh laughed, "You sure you don't
want to take me up on it?"

"I'll have some coffee." Sam said from his place beside a grinning
Toby, reminding the two of the presence of others.

"I guess if you're going you can get me some." Donna sighed smiling at Josh.

"You want to come a help me Claudia?" Josh asked giving her a serious look.

"I'll help you." CJ agreed getting up and following Josh out.

"Would you like regular of decaf, Claudia?" Josh asked when they got
to an ancient looking coffee machine. A machine that looked like it
had seen better days.

"How about we go downstairs to the little caf‚?" CJ suggested leading
a reluctant Josh towards the elevator. "My treat. Also, less chance of
digesting, god knows, how decayed and molded coffee beans."

"I don't want to go too far." Josh protested looking down the empty
hall towards Donna's room.

"She's fine." CJ assured. "Toby and Sam are with her and we'll be right back."

"I guess." Josh said still hesitant, but following CJ into the elevator.

"Donna looks better."

"I suppose."

"You suppose?" CJ asked surprised. "She's laughing and eating."

"She's still all bruised." Josh sighed rubbing his tired eyes and
trying to erase the image of Donna's purple and blue arms.

"It'll all heal." CJ told Josh gently. "Donna will heal."

"She's not telling me something Claudia." Josh said looking up at her
with worried eyes. "There's something that she's not telling me."

"Why do you think that?" CJ asked looking everywhere but at Josh.

"Because I can see it, CJ. She's trying too hard to seem like
everything is all right. Donna's hiding something. She's hiding
something." Josh repeated watching the elevator doors slide open and
CJ slip out too eagerly. "What is she hiding CJ?"

"How would I know?" CJ asked calmly leading the way to the empty caf‚.

"Because you do."

"I only know what I need to know."

"What is she not telling me?" Josh asked catching up with CJ.

"Nothing."

"Liar." Josh accused.

"Hey, I've been called worse." CJ shrugged.

"So you admit that you know something that I don't." Josh accused.

"I know many many things Joshua." CJ answered in perfect Press Secretary manner.

"I'm not the press corps. CJ." Josh sighed looking genuinely worried
and scared, "I'm Josh. I am a worried Josh. What isn't Donna telling
me?"

"Josh," CJ sighed shaking her head, "I can't..."

"You can."

"Donna...she made me promise, but she's okay." CJ assured trying to ease
Josh's racing mind, "She's going to be okay. She just doesn't want
to..."

"Is she afraid to tell me because of..."

"Yeah." CJ said filling in the blank that Josh had left. She didn't
want to think about it either, let alone say it out loud. Not now...and
especially not here. Not in a caf‚ that she'd spent too much time in.
Not in a hospital that held bad memories.

Running his hands through his already unruly hair, Josh shook his
head. "That's crazy. I wouldn't....it wouldn't trigger..."

"Are you sure?" CJ asked paying the cashier and handing Josh two
steaming cups of coffee and carrying three herself. "I mean, it's a
valid point. This is Donna we're talking about...she knows you..."

"And I know me." Josh snapped shaking a sugar package. "I know that I
can pull my damaged psyche together to be there for Donna."

"I know you can," CJ said placing a reassuring hand on Josh's arm,
"but can you really say that you're surprised that Donna would worry
about that?"

"No," Josh sighed stirring the coffee, "but I want to be there for
her. I want her to know that she can come to me when she needs
someone."

"She knows that Josh. She does."

"Okay." Josh mumbled not sounding sure.

"When are they letting her out of this joint?" CJ asked changing the subject.

"Tomorrow." Josh said putting down the coffee and looking up at CJ.

"What?" she asked catching his serious look.

"That's why I wanted you to come with me."

"Okay." CJ said not understanding. "What did you want to tell me?"

"They're letting her out tomorrow, and you've seen Donna. She can't
even talk from her bed to the washroom without getting dizzy." Josh
said seriously.

"Yeah." CJ said getting that knowing smile on her face.

"And she lives by herself..."

"Roommate?"

"Moved out." Josh pointed out, "A couple of months ago. Donna lives by
herself now..."

"And she can't possibly be by herself right now." CJ said finishing
Josh's sentence for him.

"She can't." Josh agreed smiling slightly, "So I was thinking that
Donna would come and stay with me for a couple of days. You're my
first call CJ. I'm letting you know."

"And if I said no dice?" CJ asked.

"I'd tell you to get over it cause you ain't changing my mind." Josh
shrugged. "Donna needs me and I'm going to be here for her."

"Okay." CJ said picking up the coffee and heading back towards the elevator.

"Okay?" Josh asked surprised. "You're not going to fight me?"

"No." CJ said simply.

"No?"

"Are you going to do anything stupid that will show up in my Press
Room?" CJ asked.

"No." Josh said truthfully. Well admitting that he was liked with
Donna wasn't stupid...was it? Come on, he even liked her liked her.

"Than why should I care if you're taking care of Donna?" CJ asked playfully.

"Okay." Josh said smiling at CJ.

"I'll even call before I come over to visit Donna." CJ laughed.

"You do that." Josh said seriously, "You make sure that everyone does that."

"I will." CJ agreed. "Josh, listen, I don't have a problem with Donna
staying with you...but..."

"But what?" Josh asked feeling dread fill his stomach. Toby? Leo? Sam?
Who had a problem with it?

"But Donna probably will."

"No wheelchair." Donna said as she slowly got out of bed.

"Donna," Josh sighed grabbing her arm and trying to steady her swaying
form, "get in the damn chair."

"No." Donna protested.

"It's hospital policy." Dr. Beaker pointed out smiling gently.

"But..."

"No buts." Josh said leading Donna into the wheelchair, "You made me
ride out in one." he reminded her smugly.

"Is this pay back?" Donna asked incredulously.

"No." Josh laughed.

"Joshua." Donna warned.

"Okay," Josh amended, "maybe. Practically. Totally."

Crossing her arms, Donna frowned at Josh. "Dork."

Smiling down at Donna, Josh reached over and shook Dr. Beaker's hand.
"Thanks so much Doctor."

"My pleasure. Now these are Ms. Moss's painkillers." Dr. Beaker said
handing the bottle to Josh, "Make sure that she gets some rest this
weekend."

"I will." Josh promised. "Ready to go Donna?"

"Yes." Donna said careful not to nod to quickly. "Bye Doctor."

"Bye." Dr. Beaker laughed watching Josh and Donna bicker like an old
married couple as they made their way out of the hospital. Shaking his
head in amusement, he smiled over at Nurse O'Neil. "They're like an
old married couple."

"I think that it's sweet." Nurse O'Neil replied.

"You think that they whole denial thing is cute?"

"No," she said, "I think how two smart people are completely oblivious
to how the other person feels is cute. In a demented sort of way."

"Well, maybe they aren't completely oblivious." Dr. Beaker offered,
"Maybe just a little."

"Oh," Donna sighed happily as Josh slowly led her to his car, "it's
such a beautiful day."

Paying more attention to Donna, and the fact that her arm was wrapped
around his, Josh grunted in agreement. "It sure is."

Smiling at Josh, Donna tightened her hold on his arm. "I missed the
sun, the sounds and the fresh air."

Laughing, Josh shook his head in amusement. "You were in the hospital
for a day Donna. You make it sound like you were in confinement for
months. Besides, this is D.C. There is no fresh air."

"Don't spoil my mood Joshua." Donna said in mock anger.

"I'll try my best." Josh promised smirking.

"Good." Donna said slowing down their pace. "So what's on the schedule
for today?"

"Rest." Josh said seriously.

"How can I rest..."

"Easy." Josh said pulling out his keys and unlocking all the doors.
"Resting really isn't all the hard. It consists of lying in bed and
watching television. CNN if you promise not to get too worked up."

"Josh," Donna whined, "I'm bored. Lets go to work. It's Saturday.
It'll be light. I need to catch up on all the things that are piled up
on both our desks anyway."

"No."

"Josh."

"No, Donna."

"Josh."

"You are going to take it easy for the next few days."

"Dr. Beaker said this weekend Josh." Donna reminded him as he helped
her into the car. "As in two days."

"Are you comfortable?" Josh asked anxiously as he helped Donna settle
in his car.

"I'm fine Josh." Donna laughed. "Two days Joshua. That's it. I'm going
back to real life on Monday. Work. Coffee. Long hours. Annoying
Congressmen."

"We'll see how you feel after two days and decide if you need some
more time off." Josh said helping her buckle her seat belt. Looking at
Donna's face, he couldn't help but frown at the bandage on her head
and all the reminders of how close he had come to losing her. He
couldn't lose her.

"Josh." Donna said seriously as she reached out and touched his arm, "I'm okay."

Gently tracing the white bandage, Josh mustered up a quick smile for
Donna's sake. No need to burden her with his fears. "I know."

"I'll rest." Donna offered as a way to reassure Josh and ease the line
of worry creasing his forehead.

"I know you will."

"How?" Donna asked as Josh closed her door and ran over to the drivers side.

Smirking, Josh slipped into his seat and started the engine. "Because,
I'm enforcing rules."

"Rules?" Donna asked trying not to smile.

"Many many rules that you will need to follow to the letter. Strict
rules that are for your own good."

"Really?"

"Really." Josh said grinning at Donna.

Leaning back in her seat, Donna watched as D.C. whipped by them. "Ah ha."

"Is that doubt?" Josh asked playfully. "You don't think that I can
enforce rules?"

Laughing, Donna finally noticed where they were going. "Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"This isn't the way to my place." Donna pointed out.

"I know."

"This is the way to your place."

"I know." Josh repeated.

"Why are we going this way?" Donna asked studying Josh's face curiously.

"Because you're staying with me." Josh said casually. Like it was an
everyday occurrence to take Donna home with him. To stay with him.
Hey, that wasn't a bad thought.

"Josh," Donna said warily, "this isn't a good idea."

"Why not?" Josh asked slightly wounded. "You took care of me. Now I'm
taking care of you."

"You were shot." Donna whispered.

"You were mugged." Josh shrugged.

"It's different."

"It's really not." Josh said stealing a quick look at Donna, "You took
care of me when I needed you. I'm only returning the favor."

"What about Amy?" Donna asked wringing her hands.

Shrugging his shoulders, Josh watched as Donna twisted her hands.
"What about Amy?"

"Josh." Donna sighed.

Laying a hand over Donna's hands, Josh smiled reassuringly. "Don't
worry about Amy. Don't worry about anything. Just concentrate on
getting better."

Donna didn't know how he did it, but Josh always managed to reassure
her with that smile. Squeezing his hand, Donna nodded. "Okay."

"Okay." Josh said holding Donna's hand tightly and navigating the
roads to his home and her temporary one. He could do this. He could be
there for his Donnatella Moss.

"Hungry?"

"Not really."

"Tired."

"No."

"Bored?"

"Annoyed." Donna replied smiling up at Josh.

"Do you want another pillow?" Josh asked stopping in front of Donna.

"I want you to sit down and take a deep breath." Donna laughed
grabbing Josh's hand and tugging him so that he was seated on the
couch beside her. He'd been running around his apartment trying to
make sure that everything was okay. Fussing wasn't something that
she'd ever seen Josh do. It was amusing and disconcerting all at once.

"You sure you don't want anything?" Josh asked skeptically.

"I'm sure."

"Water?"

"Josh!" Donna laughed shaking her head.

"Okay." Josh said sheepishly. "Okay."

"Just relax. Take a deep breath. Take many deep breaths."

Smiling at Donna, Josh leaned back against the couch. "I thought that
I was supposed to be taking care of you."

Shrugging her shoulders, Donna melted into the soft cushions. "I'm
better at taking care of you."

"I just haven't had enough practice."

Rolling her eyes, Donna wasn't surprised that Josh would feel the need
to get competitive about this too. "Okay."

"Does your head hurt?" Josh asked gently brushing some hair away from her face.

"A little." Donna admitted blushing under Josh's delicately touch and
realizing that she was still holding his hand.

"Want a painkiller?" Josh asked shooting off of the couch and
releasing her hand.

"No." Donna sighed missing the warmth of his hand already. God, she
was pathetic.

"Are you okay?" Josh asked alarmed by her sigh.

"I'm fine." Donna snapped.

"I made up the guestroom." Josh said cautiously, trying not to make
her mad. Or madder. "I ran over to your place and packed what I
thought you would need."

"Thank you Josh." Donna mumbled feeling her face flush scarlet. He was
only trying to be nice and she'd snapped at him. "I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to snap at you..."

"Hey, hey." Josh said sitting down beside Donna, "You are talking to
the King of Anal. Remember?"

"You were recovering from a gunshot wound." Donna said softly, "I
didn't expect you to be Mr. Nice. Hell, you're never Mr. Nice. I think
that I would have been worried if you were nice."

Glad that she was joking around with him, Josh let out the breath that
he was holding. "I unpacked your clothes. Do you want to change into
something more comfortable? I'm thinking of ordering some food..."

"You don't need to baby-sit me all day Josh. Do you need to go into work today?"

"Nope. I brought home some stuff that I might do, but nothing needs my
attention right now."

"What about Amy?" Donna asked slowly.

"Why do you keep on asking about Amy?" Josh questioned.

"No reason." Donna said feeling her face heat up.

"Are you sure?" Josh asked regarding her skeptically.

"Of course." Donna said getting up slowly.

"Where are you going?" Josh asked in alarm.

"I'm going to go and change." Donna clarified. "I could use some
comfortable pajamas."

"Okay." Josh said feeling his stomach resettle. "I packed those blue
flannel ones that you like."

"You remembered." Donna said surprised. "I didn't expect you to remember."

"I did." Josh said feeling his lips curve up at her pleased
expression. "You would come home from work tired or upset, and change
into those pajamas right away."

Home. She had come home. Not back to his place...but home. Smiling,
Donna played with the edge of her sleeve. "You saw those pajamas a lot
that summer."

"I did. I think that you need to get new ones."

"Why?"

"They look a little worn."

"I've worn them a lot lately." Donna blurted out. Well, so much for
not wearing her heart on her sleeve. Hopefully Josh would be Josh and
not make the connections.

"Yeah?" Josh asked feeling guilt settle in on him. Was it him that
drove her to wear her comfy pajamas?

"Yeah." Donna murmured not meeting Josh's curious eyes. "I'm going to
go change."

"You need help?"

Shooting Josh a wanton smile, Donna raised an amused eyebrow. "I can
dress myself Josh."

"I meant getting to the guestroom, dork." Josh laughed feeling his own
face begin to heat up.

"Sure." Donna laughed as she braced the wall with one hand and made
her way down the hall.

"I'm going to order some food." Josh yelled as he made his way to his
kitchen. "What do you feel like?"

"Whatever is fine." Donna called as she opened the door to the
guestroom and found it spotless. Smiling, she couldn't believe that
he'd gone to all this trouble. The junk that he usually kept in here
was neatly stacked in the closet and the sheets even looked clean. Her
clothes were even neatly hung in the closet and all the girlie
accessories that Josh would tease her about were sitting comfortably
on the nightstand. Everything looked right at home. Like it all
belonged in Josh's apartment.

And right in the middle of the bed were her comfy blue pajamas and
Josh's thick wool socks. Picking up the socks, Donna happily kicked
her shoes off and slipped Josh's favorite socks on. He even remembered
that her feet got cold on his hardwood floors. Josh could be so sweet
when he wanted to be. Or was it because of her that he was being extra
sweet? Or was it because he loved her that he...

Her mood plummet back towards reality when she noticed a bright
Tahitian accessory sticking out of a box that was shoved in the
closet; Donna shook the ridiculous thoughts out of her head. Josh was
just being nice. There was nothing to read into. Nothing to be
analyzed and picked apart. Nothing that would be a sign that Josh
cared. Nothing that would indicate that Joshua Lyman liked her liked
her.

Sighing sadly, Donna gingerly unbuttoned her shirt and slowly slipped
it off. Careful of her tender arms and the fresh sores. Her body still
ached with the angry black and blue bruises that stood out on her pale
skin. Grabbing the top half of her pajamas, Donna hastily put them on.
She didn't want to have to look at the offending and painful reminders
any longer that she had too.

Anxious and slightly anal, Josh wanted to call out and ask Donna if
she needed help, but he knew what it was like to be smothered. He
didn't want to smother Donna. He wanted to help her. Be there for her.
Hold her hand. Okay...maybe do more than just hold her hand, but he
wanted to be a comfort. A comfort in times of hardship and turmoil.

Quietly making his way to the guest room, Josh felt his heart jump a
beat when he caught a peek of Donna gingerly slipping off her shirt
through the slightly ajar door. Any inappropriate thoughts regarding
him and Donna quickly dissipated though when Josh caught a glance at
all the harsh bruises mapped over her elegant back and long arms.
Arousal was replaced with anger and nausea. Anger that some bastard
could do that to his Donnatella, and nausea that the same bastard had
almost done worse. Swallowing the lump growing in his throat, Josh
quickly made his way back to the living room. He needed to lie down.
He needed to hit something. He needed to be here for Donna. He wanted
to kill the bastard who dared hurt his Donnatella. Taking deep
breaths, Josh tiredly lay down on the sofa and closed his eyes. He
needed to pull it together if he was going to be a steady source of
support for Donna. He couldn't fall apart when she needed him. The
last thing that Donna needed to do was pull together Josh and his
fractured psyche while falling apart herself.

Rubbing his eyes furiously, Josh took deep calming breaths and
wondered how Donna did it? How did she manage to be there for him,
while supporting herself? How did she hold his broken body and mind
together when he wanted nothing more than to fall apart? More
importantly, why? She was an amazing woman, that Donnatella Moss. A
stronger person than he. Donna. Donna. Donna...he loved her.

Gradually making her way back to the living room, Donna was ready to
call out for Josh when she noticed a familiar unruly mop of hair
propped up on the sofa. Chuckling to herself, Donna gently laid the
quilt that she'd given him for Hanukkah over his peacefully sleeping
form. He had to be exhausted. Two consecutive nights sleeping in a
hospital chair couldn't have been that comfortable or yielding. Left
in peace to study his serene face, Donna had almost forgotten how
innocent and calm Josh looked when under the Sandman's spell. Also,
how beautiful he looked. Beauty and Josh may sound odd together, but
it was true. Joshua Lyman was beautiful in her eyes.

"Silly thoughts." Donna whispered to herself as she pulled away from
Josh. "Stupid thoughts." she sighed backing away from Josh's
intoxicating face.

Making her way to the familiar kitchen, Donna went about making
herself some tea. She didn't know why, but she wasn't surprised that
Josh had left his kitchen the way that she had organized it.
Everything was exactly the way that she had left it. From the tea on
the first shelf on the left, to the coffee beans sitting in the side
bar of the fridge. It was almost like she'd never left. Almost. The
leftover rum, sitting right in plain sight, from his Tahitian night
with Amy was a screeching reminder that things had changed. And that
they were silly thoughts. Stupid irrational foolish thoughts.
Byproducts of the painkillers Donna rationalized. She was merely
seeing something that wasn't there. She was letting her imagination
run away with her. She was hopelessly in love with a man who didn't
love her back. Putting her head down on the table, Donna sighed for
what felt like the hundredth time in the past hour. She needed to
think about something else. She needed to get her mind out of this
cycle. She needed to work.

Padding around his apartment, Donna finally located Josh's backpack
discarded in his bedroom. Needless to say, Donna got out of there as
fast as possible. No need to accidentally find another reminder of Amy
in Josh's bedroom. NO. That was not something that Donna needed right
now. Or ever for that matter.

Emptying out the contents on the kitchen table, Donna mustered up a
small false smile. This was exactly what she needed. She needed to
lose herself in this work before she lost herself in Josh and her
silly silly thoughts. Pulling her hair back into a tight ponytail and
pushing up her sleeves, Donna dug in. This was exactly what she need.
Work was exactly what she needed. Maybe if she repeated that enough,
she would begin to believe it.

Blinking away the fogged remnants of sleep, Josh slowly sat up and
stretched away the knots in his neck. Did he fall asleep? When did he
fall asleep? When did he pull this quilt over himself? God, he loved
this quilt. It was so soft. Donna bought it for him for Hanukkah.
Donna! Donna. Where was Donna? Why did Donna let him sleep?!

Kicking his legs off of the couch, Josh followed the distinctive smell
of food and distinct sound of paper rustling. Finding his senses
leading him to the kitchen, Josh stopped right at the threshold and
shook his head in amazement as she watched Donna work diligently.
"You're breaking the rules."

"Joshua!" Donna yelped jumping in her seat. "Don't do that."

"Do what?" Josh asked innocently slipping into the seat beside Donna.

"Scare me like that." Donna reprimanded hitting him on the arm.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Donna asked rolling her eyes.

"It looks like you're breaking the rules." Josh said eyeing the neat
piles of paper spread out over his rarely used kitchen table.

"I'm organizing the chaos that is your life." Donna corrected.

"Rest, Donna." Josh sighed taking the pen out of her restless hand.
"You are supposed to rest. Not let me rest."

"Josh, you were tired. So you napped. Big deal. I won't tell." Donna teased.

"Donna," Josh said seriously, "you don't need to do this."

"I know." Donna shrugged. "Honestly, I needed the distraction."

"From what?" Josh asked curiously.

"Nothing." Donna lied quickly. Yeah. Smooth. Why not just take out an
add in the Post declaring her love for Josh and hate for Amy? The
painkillers were taking away her edge.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Are you hungry?" Donna asked desperate to change the subject.
"The food got here awhile ago."

"You didn't eat?" Josh asked noticing the unopened bags. "Why didn't you eat?"

"I thought that I would wait for you." Donna said busying herself with
clearing off the table.

"Really?" Josh asked feeling disgustingly pleased.

"Yeah."

"Okay." Josh said taking the papers out of Donna's hands and getting
up, "I'll get the plates. You sit right here."

"You're going to serve me?" Donna asked playfully.

"Don't get use to it." Josh laughed.

"I'll try." Donna laughed watching Josh walk around his kitchen
grabbing plates and utensils. "You sure you don't want any help?"

"Stay." Josh commanded as he set the table.

"Don't need to tell me twice." Donna laughed.

"How long was I asleep?" Josh asked as he dished out the food.

"An hour. Two tops."

"Did anyone call?" Josh asked popping the plates into his microwave.
Sam had promised to call and tell Josh how the meeting with
Agriculture went.

"Nope. No one called." Donna replied. She had to bite her tongue from
telling Josh to call Amy if he wanted to talk to her.

"Okay." Josh said putting the food down. "Lets eat."

"Nick at Nite?"

"No."

"Fox?"

"No."

"HBO?"

"I refuse to watch Sex in the City."

"Josh," Donna laughed nudging his shoulder with her, "it's a funny
show. It has won numerous awards from..."

"Donna." Josh laughed, "No."

"Fine." Donna sighed.

"CNN?" Josh asked hopefully.

"You'll yell at Aaron Brown." Donna frowned. "I won't watch it you'll
yell at Aaron Brown."

"I hate how he pauses while talking." Josh pointed out.

"I know you do." Donna smiled.

"C-Span?"

"No."

"Why not?" Josh asked trying to take the remote from Donna.

"Because I said so." Donna said holding the remote out of reach.

"Good reason." Josh said sarcastically.

"I know." Donna grinned flipping through the channels.

"Stop!"

"Oh no." Donna mocked groaned.

"Donna, it's a perfectly good show. Chalk full of entertainment."

Eyeing Josh skeptically, Donna tried to hide her smile. "Really?"

"Yes." Josh said indignantly.

"Eating roaches is entertaining?"

"No." Josh said watching the Fear Factor logo flash across his screen,
"Eating it myself would be gross."

"However watching another person eat it would be exhilarating?" Donna asked.

"Exactly." Josh grinned settling in to watching Fear Factor.

"Okay." Donna laughed. "It's better than listening to you argue with
news anchors."

"You don't like listening to me debate with news anchors?" Josh asked
with mock hurt. "Donna, that hurts."

"Shut up," Donna laughed hitting him with a pillow. "and watch your
stupid show."

"Okay." Josh laughed comfortably seated with Donna at his side. See,
this was what he had missed. Sitting with Donna. Just hanging out.
Just being them.

"What are you thinking about?"

"What?" Josh asked stupidly.

"You had your thinking face on. What were you thinking about?"

"Thinking face?" Josh asked trying to misdirect Donna.

"Yeah. You get that big crease in your forehead when you're thinking
about something."

"Donna, you are way too observant."

Shrugging, Donna watched as a contestant leaped off a moving truck. "I
notice things. Sue me."

"I notice things too." Josh offered.

"Like what?" Donna asked looking up at his grinning face.

"Like how tired you are."

"I am not." Donna lied. She was. She was exhausted, but she didn't to
leave. Not yet. It had been so long since they had last spent some
time together. Donna wasn't ready to let the night end yet. Not yet.

"Yes you are." Josh countered.

"No, I'm not." Donna said stubbornly.

"You've been stifling yawns for the last half an hour." Josh pointed
out. "Not to mention the fact that you keep getting that droopy smile
on your face."

"What?" Donna asked surprised. What droopy smile?

"And, you keep playing with the edge of your sleeve." Josh continued.
See, he could be observant when it came to Donna.

"No I'm not." Donna said hurrying to stop. Anyways, that wasn't
because she was sleepy. It was the close proximity of Josh that was
causing her to do that.

"I think that it's time for bed."

"Not yet." Donna pouted.

"Yes." Josh said getting up and tugging at Donna's hand.

"How about..."

"No." Josh said leading Donna towards the guestroom. "Sleep. Slumber.
Rest, remember?"

"Like you'd let me forget." Donna sighed following Josh.

"I'll see you in the morning." Josh smiling.

"Fine." Donna huffed sitting down in the center of the bed.

"You need anything?"

"No." Donna said smiling softly. "Thank you."

"Okay. Good night." Josh said handing at the door. Not ready to let
her out of his sight yet.

"Night."

"I'm just down the hall..."

"I know Josh." Donna smiled climbing under the sheets. "Good night."

"Sweet dreams." Josh grinned.

Watching Josh shut the door softly, Donna pulled the covers tightly
around herself. Sleep caught up with her quickly.

Sleeping peacefully, Josh shot awake as a scream pierced the dark
night. His feet hit the ground running just as the second scream
echoed through his dark apartment.



 Donna was wheezing, her arms wrapped around herself. She struggled to
sit up in bed. Her sheets a tangled mess around her frantic legs and
entrapping her in her nightmare.

"Donna!" Josh yelled rushing into the room and finding her struggling
against invisible demons. Rushing to her side, Josh grabbed her
twisting and turning shoulders. "Donna?"

Sitting up right, her eyes snapped open. But her usually sparkling
eyes were blank. Dark and void as her nightmare continued to rage on
in the darkness of the night. Donna drank air hungrily into her
deprived lungs. It was as if someone had tried to suffocate her.

Sitting down beside her, Josh pulled Donna right up against him. He
began rubbing comforting circles on her back. "It's all right. It's
all right. Did you have a nightmare?"

Slowly, excruciatingly slowly, her breathing began to steady, but it
still hurt to breathe. It was as if someone had clouted her in the
ribs. Adding another bruise to the wealthy collection that she already
had. Whimpering in fear as consciousness seeped back into her, Donna
couldn't talk yet. She didn't want to talk.

"That's good. Just breathe." Josh soothed still holding onto Donna's
limp frame. "I'm here. Nothing's going to hurt you. No one is going to
hurt you." Josh promised.

Her face was buried in his shoulder and her arms lay limp at her
sides. Her nightmare seemed to have drained away all her strength. The
last bit of courage that she had left was robbed from her. How did
something, a creation of her own mind, be so powerful? Then suddenly
with a burst of energy, Donna threw her arms around Josh and held on
tight.

"I'm real. I'm real." Josh assured. "I'm solid and I'm mean. Nobody is
going to hurt you Donna. It's okay."

Donna didn't say anything, but Josh could feel her harsh breaths
against his flesh. Her heart was still racing and her nightmare was
still too vivid. Too real. Too scary.

"You're okay." Josh whispered feeling Donna tighten her hold on him,
"It was a nightmare. Just a nightmare."

"I know." Donna whispered her voice hoarse. "I'm all right now."

Josh tried to pull away, but Donna held on tight. He could feel her
shivering. "It's really okay. You can let go now. I'm not going
anywhere."

"I don't think I want to." Donna confessed, "Give me a few more
minutes, Josh. Not yet." She tightened her grip.

She was still shivering. Donna shook with fear in his arms, and there
was nothing that he could do about it. "Okay." Josh answered
tightening his own grip on Donna. "Okay."

Her eyes scanning the four corners of the dark room for hiding demons,
Donna shivered uncontrollably as fear racked her tired mind.

"Donna. Donna." Josh whispered tightening his hold on her, "It's okay.
I'm right here."

"I know." Donna replied softly.

"Are you okay?"

"No." Donna whispered hoarsely. "No."

"I'm sorry." Josh choked out.

"I was so scared." Donna admitted clutching at Josh's cotton T-shirt.
Inhaling his comforting sent, Donna let herself melt into his embrace.
Let Josh protect her.

"I know." Josh said gently. "I know you were."

"I don't like this Josh. I don't like being scared."

"I know. I know." Josh sighed sadly. "Lie down Donna." Josh soothed,
"Try to sleep."

If anything, Donna gripped onto his tighter.

"I promise you that everything is okay now. Listen to me, you have to
let go." Josh said gently. "You need to rest. Your mind is going crazy
it's so tired. Trust me. I'm speaking from experience here."

"No." Donna whimpered feeling fear creep back into her, "Don't go. Not yet."

"You need some sleep."

"No. I can't."

"You need too."

"Stay." Donna asked looking up at Josh with her wide and frightened
eyes. Yeah, as if he could have said no to that.

"All right." Josh said getting under the covers with Donna. Lying down
on his back, Josh pulled Donna's still shivering body right against
him. Hoping to share his warmth with her. Pulling the covers right up
to her ears, Josh formed a makeshift cocoon.

Donna lay stiffly as she waited for the fear to melt away. She wanted
the images to go away. How long would this haunt her? Settling her
face on his strong and steady chest, Donna didn't think about all the
consequences, the impropriety of lying in bed with her boss or how
this would affect their already unbalanced relationship. The only
thing Donna was thinking about was how safe Josh made her feel. How
protected she felt when in his strong arms. If only she could stay
here forever. In his arms. In his embrace. In his heart. Okay, Donna
thought sighing, Josh was right. A rare occurrence. She needed some
sleep.

"It's okay." Josh said hugging Donna's stiff body against his warm
one. Stroking her back lightly, Josh waited for Donna to ease under
his touch.

Yielding under Josh's mesmerizing touch, Donna loosened her grip on
his T-shirt. She still held a handful of the cottony material, but not
for dear life. Just as a connection.

Bringing his hand up to cover hers, Josh intertwined their fingers and
smiled to himself when he felt her bring their joined hands up to her
chin. Tucking it securely beneath her chin and holding on tight.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Josh asked after what felt like an
eternity. He felt her jerk and her breath fan quickly over their
hands. She was still afraid. He waited. For Donna. Josh would wait for
eternity.

"It was a nightmare." Donna said finally. "A stupid nightmare. I
didn't think that I would have it again..."

"Again?" Josh asked jumping in. "You mean that you've had it before?
Why didn't you tell me?"

Donna was quiet for a very long time. At least she wasn't shuddering
anymore. Josh was hoping that she would keep talking. Getting Donna to
open up, Josh realized, was going to be hard. Harder than getting
Members of Congress and Senators to do what he wanted..............and
ultimately more important. She was important. So important that it
scared him sometimes. "Talk to me Donna." Josh pleaded. "Please."

It was dark, the middle of the night, she was cocooned in blankets
against Josh, she was finally feeling safe, her mind wasn't on alert,
and so she said, her breath warm and light against his skin, "It was
happening again. Only this time, I didn't get away. Nobody saved me. I
didn't get away Josh."

Her words piercing his heart, Josh pulled Donna closer against him.
Trying to calm his own fears by holding onto her and reassuring
himself that she really was all right. She was all right. That was all
that mattered. Only, his heart didn't seem to stop aching with that
knowledge.

"But you did." Josh said firmly and with more courage than he felt.
"You're okay, Donna. You're okay. No one is going to hurt you. I
promise."

"Don't make promises that you can't keep." Donna whispered her tone
somber and sorrowful.

"I keep my promises Donna." Josh said seriously as he tightened his
hold on her. "I won't let anyone hurt you. Ever."

Letting silence reclaim the dark room, Donna let his words soak into
her and warm the ice inside of her. "I believe you." Donna said
truthfully. She didn't know why, but she did. She trusted Josh.
Through her fear and anxiety, Donna felt his words calm her racing
heart. "I believe you."

Lying in bed with Donna, Josh waited and listened as her breathing
returned to normal. Holding her, he tried to calm his own racing
heart. It didn't go unnoticed that her body molded perfectly against
his. That they did indeed fit together like a perfect pair. In so many
ways, Josh thought as he stroked Donna's hair. In so many ways.

"Josh?"

"Yeah?" Josh answered trying to clear his hazy mind. Having Donna so
close to him was intoxicating and exhilarating.

Lightly rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb, Donna whispered
softly, trying not to wear her heart on her sleeve. "Thank you."

"My pleasure." Josh said quickly kissing the top of her head. He
understood. Man, did he understand.

"Josh?" Donna asked timidly.

"Yeah?"

"Will you stay until I fall asleep?" Donna asked shifting and looking
up at his warm brown eyes.

"Yeah." Josh answered holding onto Donna as she resettled herself
against him. "I will."

Stirring under the bright morning light, Josh leisurely pulled away
from the Sandman's spell and rejoined the real world. Sleep still sat
in dark corners of his mind, but the bright light pouring in from the
window cleared it out quickly. Wait. Window? 'The window is on the
wrong side of the room.' Josh thought as he tried to bring his arm up
to block the blazing sun. However, moving proved to be more
complicated when another body was practically lying on top of you.

Lifting his head off the unfamiliar pillow, Josh felt his heart
flutter when he saw a familiar sleeping blonde head sitting squarely
on his chest. 'Okay,' Josh thought taking a deep breath, 'this is
different. Nice, but definitely different.'

Donna was sleeping peacefully against Josh. Her hair fanning over his
chest and lightly brushing against his cheek. Their legs were tangled
together with an intimate knowledge, her arm was comfortably thrown
over Josh's chest and their hands were still intertwined together.
Still, after a night and partial morning of sleep, were their hands
tucked under Donna's chin. Safe keeping, Josh supposed.

Feeling a grin spilt across his face, Josh laid his head back against
the pillow. Yeah, he could get use to waking up like this every
morning.

Lulled away from sleep by a gentle hand stroking her back, Donna
gradually opened her eyes to find a new day greet her. Along with
Joshua Lyman smiling down at her. Oh, she could get use to waking up
like this.

"Morning." Josh said still grinning. His cheeks were getting sore, but
he couldn't seem to stop grinning. He was convinced that any second
now he would start giggling like a schoolgirl.

"Morning." Donna replied feeling her face flush four different shades
of red when she realized the position the two of them seemed to have
worked into after a sound night, and morning it seemed, of sleep.

"How do you feel?" Josh asked letting his hand moved from her back up
to her face. "Head hurt?"

"No." Donna said breathlessly. No worries, Donna thought to herself as
Josh gently traced her cheek, she could attribute the breathlessness
to...something. No worries. Oh hell, she was screwed.

"Did you sleep okay?" Josh asked watching his hand take on a life of
its own and trace the soft contours of Donna's face.

"Good." Donna answered. Yeah. Uh huh. Do you see? One syllable words.
That's what Joshua Lyman has reduced her too. One syllable words. If
he keeps doing that thing with his hand, Donna knew that she was going
to be reduced to whimpering in response.

"Yeah?" Josh asked feeling his grin grow. In his arms she slept good.
Who da' man? Yeah baby, he da' man.

"Yeah." Donna answered. Maybe, if she had a little more will power,
Donna would have untangled herself from Josh and tiptoed out of this
dangerous area....but the truth was, she was tired. If Josh wanted, he
could be the instigator in this one. Josh could be the one to walk
them back to where they were suppose to be. Where they stood
attentively for so many years. Let Josh be the one to bring the banter
this time. He could fill the awkward pauses and unsaid words left
hanging in the air. Donna wasn't going to do it this time. Let Josh do
it.....if he wanted too. God, she hoped that he didn't want too.

Taking a deep breath, Donna waited for Josh to make some kind of joke
or excuse to get out of bed, but it never came. Josh didn't say
anything or make any move to even extract himself from what should be
an uncomfortable situation. All he did was stroke her arm, which by
the way felt amazing. Taking a deep breath, Donna lightly fingered
Josh's soft and downy shirt. "Josh?"

"Yeah?" Josh asked never stopping his movements on her arm.

"Thank you."

"For what?" Josh asked looking down at Donna's slightly flushed face.

"For staying." Donna whispered watching Josh's eyes sparkle under the
morning light. At least she thought that it was the morning light
doing that. "For being here when I needed you." she said simply.

Wrapping both his arms around Donna, Josh held her tight. "I'll always be here."

"Will you?" Donna asked watching Josh intently.

"Yes." Josh said seriously. "I will always be here."

"Why?" Donna blurted out. Shocked with her own boldness, she looked up
with Josh with wide eyes. His own eyes were wide and surprised.
Starring at Donna with disbelief and maybe a little bit of shock.

Disgusted with herself and lack of self control, Donna tried to pull
away from Josh. No. This isn't what she wanted. What? Donna had
managed to master denial. After three years she had 'I'm not in love
with Joshua Lyman' down to an art. She was a master in this particular
field of denial. "I'm sorry. Ignore me. It's just...I'm just..." Donna
rambled trying to untangle their limbs.

"Donna. Donna. Donna." Josh said sitting up and not letting her out of
his arms. "Where are you going?"

"I'm not sure exactly." Donna stuttered not meeting Josh's eyes.

"Don't go." Josh said lifting Donna's down turned face to look at his.
"Don't go."

"What are you doing?" Donna whispered watching Josh bring her face up to his.

"Ending our platonic friendship." Josh whispered as he leaned in to
kiss Donna. Oh god, he could spend his whole life doing this.

Her breath catching in her chest, Donna froze when Josh brought their
lips together. After a second of disbelief, Donna fell into it. Their
lips danced and their souls connected. Though it could probably be
argued that their souls connected a long time ago. Bring her hands up,
Donna weaved her fingers through Josh's soft hair and deepened the
kiss. Oh yeah. She really could wake up like this.

Kissing Donna was as amazing as Josh had ever imagined it to be. This
is what it was suppose to be like. This is what he'd been missing all
his life. Donna.

Pulling away a fraction of an inch, Donna looked up at Josh stunned
and slightly amused.

"What?" Josh asked grinning at Donna and her shinning lips.

"You're wrong." Donna pointed out playing with his hair.

"About what?" Josh asked trying to figure out where she was going with
this. Well, excuse him. His brain was lacking blood at the moment.
Yeah.

"Our relationship was never platonic." Donna laughed pulling Josh and
those luscious lips back to dance with hers.

His laughter turning into a groan when Donna pushed him back onto the
bed. Yeah, he really could get use to waking up like this. Suddenly,
forever didn't seem like long enough.

Pulling away from Donna's flushed face, Josh couldn't help mirror her
silly grin. "I think that we've skipped some steps." Josh said
breathlessly.

"What?" Donna asked looking up at Josh. She completely missed what
he'd just said. What? It wasn't her fault. Making out with Joshua
Lyman had that effect on her. Or at least now she had the proper
experience to say that. Oh, she could spend the rest of her life
figuring out exactly what Josh could do to her.

His grin morphing into a self satisfied smirk, Josh lightly ran his
fingers over Donna's significantly swollen lips. She was still reeling
from the power of his kiss. Kisses actually. Who da' man? Oh, yeah
baby. He da' man.

"Get that smirk off your face." Donna laughed smacking Josh on the
arm. She knew that smirk. It was his bloody, who da' man smirk.

"What?" Josh asked trying to smile innocently. It probably should be
noted that he was trying unsuccessfully to stop smirking. Which only
caused Donna to laugh at him.

"You are such a dork." Donna laughed rolling off of Josh and lying
down on her back.

"Where are you going?" Josh asked propping his head on his hand and
grinning down at Donna's still significantly flushed face.

Starring up at the ceiling, Donna tried to get her racing heart under
control and clear her hazy mind. 'What were they doing?' she wondered
as reality began to set in and weigh down her leaping heart.

"Donna?" Josh asked tracing invisible lines on her arm. What was she
thinking about?

"What are we doing?" Donna asked turning her slowly clearing eyes at Josh.

"Donna." Josh laughed waggling his eyebrows suggestively, "If you
don't know what we were doing, that means that I'm going to have to
clarify. Again and again." Josh said seductively as he leaned over to
kiss her again.

"Josh." Donna asked seriously putting her hand against his chest to stop him.

"What?" Josh asked looking down at Donna's wide eyes. The playfulness
and eagerness that he'd seen dancing in her eyes earlier was gone.
Replaced with anxiety and, maybe a little bit of fear.

"What are we doing?" Donna repeated gesturing at the little space
between them. "I'm lying in bed making out with my boss. I think that
somewhere, in some book, this is a no no."

"We," Josh said capturing Donna's hands in his, "are being us."

"Us?" Donna asked unconsciously lacing her fingers with Josh.

"Us." Josh repeated squeezing Donna's hands. "Josh and Donna."

"Josh and Donna?"

"Are you going to repeat everything that I say?" Josh asked pulling
Donna against his chest and lying back down. This was what heaven was.
Lying in bed with Donnatella Moss in his arms. This was what he'd been
missing all his life.

"There's an 'us?'" Donna asked resting her head squarely over Josh's
strong heart.

"There's been an us for a long time Donna." Josh chuckled.

"Yeah?" Donna asked looking up at Josh.

"Yeah." Josh said pulling Donna back up for a kiss. Or kisses actually.

Melting against Josh, Donna let her fears take a back seat for now.
Making out with Josh was much more entertaining.

Oh yeah, that thing Josh did with his tongue...yeah, that effected her too.

"What do you think that they're doing right now?" Sam asked slipping
into his seat.

"If Josh hasn't professed his undying love by now," Toby muttered
looking down at his watch, "then I'm out fifty bucks."

"Too early Toby," CJ sighed sipping her coffee, "too early. Your money
and fifty from Sam will be sitting pretty in my hands. I've got three
hours before Josh needs to do anything of the sort."

"I'm got till tonight." Sam spoke up. "I put my money down for tonight."

"Josh may be an idiot," CJ snorted, "but not that big an idiot."

"CJ's right." Toby said pretending to work, "Josh wouldn't wait until
tonight to make a move. He's been itching to do something since he saw
Donna lying there pale and bruised."

"Yeah." CJ sighed thinking about Donna and how scared they all were that night.

"We agree that if Josh doesn't do it by tomorrow, then we're stepping
in...right?" Sam asked trying to get a look at what Toby was scribbling.

"Yeah." Toby said frowning at Sam and moving his yellow legal pad so
that Sam couldn't see what he was writing.

"Who exactly is in on the original pool?" Sam asked rolling his eyes
at Toby. "I can't remember, we did it so long ago."

"Leo," CJ said ticking off her fingers as she counted, "Margaret,
Ginger, Ed, Larry, Carol, Ainsely, Charlie, Abby and the President.
Just enough to make the pool interesting, but not enough to become
common knowledge."

"I think that was shot to hell when Leo told Margaret." Toby replied.

"The President put his money down for when?" Sam asked trying to
remember. If he wasn't so tired he'd pull out his laptop and check the
dates for sure.

"Two weeks from now." Toby mumbled. "Ginger and Margaret are out. They
said Christmas."

"And Ed put his money down for a month ago." CJ laughed.

"When Josh was thinking about taking Amy Gardner to Tahiti?" Sam asked laughing.

"Oh yeah," CJ nodded, "he wasn't too happy about being out eighty bucks."

"Did you tell him to suck it up and take it like a man?" Sam asked grinning.

"Of course." CJ laughed leaning back against Toby's sofa.

"Amy Gardner." Toby said looking up at CJ and Sam. "What is the deal
with her and Josh now? They still...you know."

"I don't know." Sam said frowning. "Are she and Josh still dating?"

"Were they ever?" CJ asked, "It never really seemed like a relationship."

"It wasn't." Toby said answering CJ's question. "It was random sex, if
anything."

Laughing, Sam got up. "I've still got to do the thing."

"Bye Spanky."

"CJ. CJ." Sam sighed shaking his head, "Too much coffee."

"No such thing." CJ rebutted. "You're money, along with Toby's, is
going to buy my Gail something nice for her bowl later."

"Don't be so confident." Sam said leaving the room.

"You do have some work to do in your own office?" Toby asked looking
up pointedly at CJ.

"Yes, actually." CJ said getting up.

"Thank god." Toby said grinning at CJ.

"I am going to go and think about what I'm going to spend your money
on." CJ said smugly.

Grinning, Toby handed CJ some money. "Here."

"What's this for?" CJ asked looking at the crisp bills in her hand.

"Katie is in on the pool now." Toby said calmly turning back to his work.

"What?!" CJ asked getting right in Toby's face. "You told a reporter
about the pool...and you let her in on it? Are you insane?"

"No." Toby replied unconcerned.

"Toby," CJ growled, "you're killing me here."

"I let her in on the pool CJ." Toby sighed, "Get over it. She's not
going to tell anyone."

Studying Toby seriously, CJ felt a smile tug at her lips when it all
fell in place. "Katie from the Times, Katie?"

"Yes." Toby grumbled.

"When did you let her in?" CJ asked.

"Yesterday."

"Ahhhh." CJ said grinning at Toby.

"Ah, what?" Toby growled looking up at CJ.

"Ah, I know what you did now."

"And what exactly do you suspect I did?" Toby asked.

Putting the money into her pocket, CJ grabbed Toby's pencil and his
post-it pad. "Ah, as in I know what you did now to keep her quiet."

"I didn't do anything to keep her quiet." Toby argued.

"Then what did you do exactly?"

"Katie and I merely came to an understanding, and if letting her into
a pool that she suspected existed only proved to sway her over to my
side, then so be it."

"Okay." CJ laughed. "What date did Katie choose?"

"August 24th." Toby said simply.

"Why August 24th?" CJ asked writing it down.

"Her daughters birthday."

"Okay." CJ said handing Toby his pencil and sticking the little
post-it inside her folder. "Does she realize that she's about to be
out eighty bucks?"

"No," Toby said shaking his head. "and that's okay with me. If I'm
going to lose some money, then she can lose some too."

"Work?"

"Later."

"You said that half an hour ago."

"I like lying here with you." Josh said grinning at Donna.

"If you're lazy," Donna laughed, "just say so."

"Okay, I admit it."

"Shut up." Donna laughed hitting Josh.

"Just kidding." Josh laughed rolling over Donna and looking at the
clock. Groaning, he put his head down on her chest. "No. I don't want
to go to work."

"Get up." Donna said nudging Josh out of bed. "We need to get ready."

"Excuse me, we?" Josh asked sitting up.

"Yes, we." Donna said sitting up too and throwing the covers back.

"Wait." Josh said grabbing Donna's hand. "You're not going in."

"Yes, I am." Donna replied stubbornly.

"Rest." Josh said pulling her back into bed and trying to pull the
covers over her.

"No," Donna whined pushing his hands away, "I did that yesterday."

"And you're going to do it today." Josh said pushing her hands away
and trying to tuck her in. "You are going to spend Sunday sleeping in
and yelling at the stupid Republicans on Wolf Blitzer."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes." Josh repeated.

"Josh," Donna pouted, turning the puppy dog eyes at him, "please."

"Oh no." Josh said putting a hand up to cover his eyes. "You're not
going to trick me into saying yes."

"But Josh," Donna pouted climbing into his lap, "please. I'll be so
bored home all by myself."

"Home?" Josh asked his hand falling away from his eyes and grinning at
Donna. "Did you just say home?" he asked eagerly.

"N...n...no." Donna stuttered climbing out of Josh's lap. "No I didn't."

"Yes, yes you did." Josh said keeping Donna in his lap so that he
could look at her. "You did Donna."

"No I didn't." Donna denied feeling her face heat up.

"You did." Josh said not bothering to keep the excitement out of his
voice, "You said home."

Looking up at Josh, Donna tried to think about a way to talk her way
out of this. A way to deny it without looking like she was denying it,
but the way Josh was grinning at her eagerly just melted her heart.
"It is possible that I said home." Donna finally conceded.

"Not a possibility." Josh said stroking Donna's beautiful face. "A
fact. I heard you."

"And you're not freaked out?" Donna questioned honestly surprised.

"Why would I be freaked out?" Josh asked shaking his head in
disbelief. He was ecstatic. Thrilled. Positively giddy. He was going
to start giggling like a schoolgirl soon he was so happy.

"Because I just said home!" Donna exclaimed, "I just called your home MY home."

"So?" Josh asked completely calm.

"You really are okay with it." Donna said awe in her voice.

"I am." Josh said holding Donna's face in his hands. "I'm not just
okay with it. I'm ecstatic."

"Yeah?" Donna asked feeling her face mirroring Josh's silly grin.

"Yeah."

"Okay." Donna said running her hand through Josh's unruly hair.

"Well, maybe except for two things."

"Two things?" Donna asked feeling her stomach drop.

"Well, as much as I enjoy lying in bed with you," Josh sighed
dramatically, "I would much rather be in my bed."

"Yeah?" Donna asked smirking and watching mischief dancing in Josh's
eyes. He was such a dork sometimes.

"Yeah." Josh grinned, "It's much bigger."

"Bigger is good." Donna said playfully. "More room. More space. More fun."

"Great minds think alike." Josh laughed pushing Donna back down against the bed.

"The second thing?" Donna asked running her hands through Josh's silky
soft hair. Oh, she could spend the rest of her life doing this.

"You living here is going to be very distracting." Josh whispered
snaking his hand under Donna's cotton pajamas.

"Yeah?" Donna gasped arching her back against his amazing hands.

"Yeah." Josh whispered brushing his lips lightly over hers, "I'm
always going to be late for staff."

"No you won't." Donna moaned letting her own hands slip under Josh's
T-shirt. "You'll just be up earlier."

"Earlier is good." Josh moaned descending his eager lips on Donna's
equally eager ones. Yes, as early as she wanted if he could do this
every morning. Every morning for the rest of his life.



Watching Donna sleep with soft eyes, Josh couldn't help but grin. She
was sleeping peacefully in is arms. Completely satisfied too. He was
SO da' man.

His eyes drifting towards the clock, Josh suppressed the groan that
was climbing up his throat. Work. He was really late now. Really,
really late. Ha! But it was worth it.

He didn't want to get out of bed. What sane man would want to get out
of bed when there was a beautiful, and we can't forget naked,
Donnatella Moss lying there? Oh well, Josh never said that he was
sane.

Work. Right. Work. Leo, big old house that was white and no doubt a
pile of work on his desk. He could do this. Josh could drag himself
out of bed and into work. He could do it. He was strong. He was
capable. Looking down at Donna, Josh couldn't help but be mesmerized
by her amazingly long legs, which she'd skillfully tangled with his,
and the slender arm that she'd thrown over his chest. He couldn't do
it. He couldn't get out of bed. He was in love.

Sighing, Josh gently untangled his limbs from Donna's. Carefully, so
that he wouldn't wake her. 'Not much chance of that though,' Josh
though as he watched Donna roll onto her stomach, 'because he was da'
man!' Pulling the sheet up to cover her bare back, Josh didn't know
why but he wasn't surprised by how much he wanted her. There had never
been a woman he'd ever wanted, or loved, this much. And he knew that
there'd never be anyone else, because there was only one Donna. It
would have been scary, if it wasn't Donna. But this wasn't scary. This
was them. There was nothing scary about them. At times they could be
quirky, bizarre and loud...oh, who knew Donna could be so loud in bed?
Shaking his head, Josh had to turn his mind away from that. It wasn't
a bad though, but probably not the best though to be having when on
the way to work.

Swallowing hard, Josh let his eyes take inventory of all the bruises
laid out on her innocent body. Sleeping under the soft morning light,
Donna didn't have the opportunity to shield away what she didn't want
Josh to look at. Josh was left alone with his thoughts and the dark
and bruised canvas that was Donna's soft skin. Someone did to her what
should never be done. Some bastard hurt his Donnatella. The angry
purples were slowly fading into a murky green, but that didn't make it
any easier to look at.

Laying a gentle kiss on her shoulder, Josh tried to heal her. Donna
had healed him. She pulled him back together when he wanted nothing
more than to fall apart. Josh would never be able to repay her, but
he'd spend the rest of his life trying. He would.

Josh let his lips roam to her neck before settling on the side of her
mouth. Even in her sleep, Donna managed a small smile for Josh.
Kneeling beside his bed, Josh let his hand gently stroke her hair as
he watched her sleep. After what few like seconds, but really were
many many minutes, Josh glanced up at the clock and even he knew he
had to get a move on it. Kissing her shoulder one last time, Josh
debated whether or not he should wake her.

No. She needed to rest. Yes, rest was good. Rest was what she was
going to do. Josh would make sure of it. She'd rest up, because the
doctor said so, and those were the rules. Oh, how he loved being the
enforcer this time around. Pay back was a bitch.

Rolling over in her sleep, Donna reached over for Josh but found
nothing more then cool sheets. Her fingers reaching for Josh
desperately, Donna pulled away from the snug blanket of sleep to find
herself lying in bed. Alone. All alone. Sitting up, Donna scanned the
room for Josh...but he was nowhere to be found. She was lying, naked in
bed, alone. So the sex hadn't been a dream, but had the tenderness and
love she felt been a figment of her imagination? Suddenly feeling bare
and exposed, Donna pulled the sheets tightly around herself. She tried
to think. Not an easy task, considering the last few days and the most
amazing sex she'd ever had, had taken quite the toll on her body.

Liking her dry lips, Donna looked at the clock that she'd bought for
Josh and realized that he must be at work. That was it. Josh had gone
into work. There must have been a logical reason for him not waking
her. She was worrying about nothing. Last night meant something. The
last few days have meant something. The last few years have meant
something.

Josh didn't run. No. He didn't wake up and freak out. He knew what
they were doing. He knew. He didn't run. He didn't regret it.

There had to be a logical reason for him not waking her. He didn't
run... She didn't scare him away. Josh wasn't scared. He wasn't. He
wasn't scared when he peeled her clothes off. He wasn't scared when he
caressed her and held her. He wasn't scared when they made love. No.
He wasn't. He didn't seem scared. He couldn't have been scared...could
he? No. There was no fear. There hadn't been any fear. No. He had no
regrets. They didn't do anything wrong. Taking deep breaths, Donna
felt her heart tighten when her eyes fell onto the familiar bright
Tahitian accessory sticking out of a box that was shoved in the
closet.

"Oh god," Donna whispered putting her face into her hands, "he regrets it."

Trying not to look like he'd just had mind blowing sex with the most
amazing woman as he wandered into the West Wing, Josh greeted everyone
with an extra bounce in his step. Yeah, just call him the king of
subtly. Screw it. He wasn't wearing his, I'VE JUST HAD SEX face
anyway. Joshua Lyman was proudly displaying his, I'M IN LOVE WITH THE
MOST AMAZING WOMAN face. An expression that Josh was sure he'd be
wearing a lot from now on. It was an expression that he was sure a
blind man could decipher. It didn't take a genius to figure it out.

"Hey!" Sam called out, "Why are you so chipper?"

Okay, maybe not.

"Hello Samuel." Josh grinned pouring himself a cup of coffee. "How are
you this fine morning?"

Regarding Josh strangely, Sam felt a knowing grin split across his
face. "You seem extra happy today."

"The sun is shining, the birds are singing and we are working in the
White House." Josh laughed leading Sam towards his office. "What more
could a man ask for?"

"Texas to concede?"

Laughing, Josh fell into his seat and propped his feet up on his desk.
"It's a good day, Sam."

"Yeah?" Sam asked slipping into the visitor chair.

"Oh yeah." Josh grinned trying to send manly mental signals. The ones
that meant that he was in love and he just had the best sex
imaginable.

"I'm happy for you." Sam grinned.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Josh said sitting up. "Cause I've got something to tell you."

"What?" Sam asked sitting forward. He was happy for Josh, but if Josh
was going to say what he though he was going to say, then Sam was
about to be out fifty bucks. Along with eighty bucks from the original
pool. A small price to pay for their happiness though.

"Actually," Josh said rethinking his strategy, "I'll tell you later."
Josh couldn't screw this up. Leo was first. Josh couldn't jump the
chain of command. Leo would have his head on a silver platter if he
heard it from Sam...or Margaret for that matter. Sam wasn't exactly
well known for keeping his lips sealed. No. Later. After Leo knew.

"Later?" Sam echoed.

"Later." Josh confirmed getting up. He needed to see Leo now.

"Why?" Sam asked confused.

"Trust me," Josh grinned, "it'll be worth the wait."

"Okay." Sam said watching Josh walking out of his office with a
definite purpose in his step. Counting to ten under his breath, Sam
reached over and grabbed the phone on Josh's desk. Dialing a familiar
extension, Sam waited for the ringing to stop. "The evidence seems to
point in the direction of me being out fifty bucks."

"He's here?" CJ asked her head snapping up and looking down the hall
towards Josh's office. "Where?"

"He went to see Leo." Sam said catching site of CJ.

"Yeah?" CJ asked feeling herself mirror Sam's grin.

"Yeah."

"So," CJ said looking down at her watch, "do I owe Toby money, or is
he gonna be guying my Gail something nice today?"

"I don't know. Josh wouldn't come right out and say it, but from the
way he was strutting earlier, I'm thinking that he finally got it
together."

"Donna here?" CJ asked, eager to get all the juicy details.

"I don't think so." Sam said picking up Josh's phone and looking out
into the bullpen. "She isn't at her desk and I don't see her coat."

"Hmm," CJ said tapping her pen against her desk, "I wonder what that means."

"It means that Josh is being his overprotective and overbearing self,
and didn't let Donna out of his apartment." Sam replied. "I wouldn't
read too much into it."

"Okay," CJ said not entirely convinced, "okay."

"Do you think he went to tell Leo?" Sam asked.

"Probably."

"How do you think Leo will react?"

"He'll go his gruff thing and then do his fatherly thing."

"Yeah," Sam grinned, "that sounds like Leo."

"The President probably won't be happy about losing though." CJ
pointed out, "He's been pretty confident about winning the pool."

"Ah, he'll get over it." Sam said looking down the hall at CJ. "Ahh...CJ?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are we on the phone when I can see you from where I'm sitting?"

"Because," CJ said dramatically, "it adds to the mystique of this whole thing."

"Yeah?" Sam asked skeptical.

"Nah," CJ said shrugging her shoulders, "it's cause we're to lazy to
get up and go to the other person."

"Yeah," Sam laughed, "that sounds just about right."

"You wanna go and tell Toby?"

"Yeah." Sam said getting up. "You gonna go and call Donna now, aren't you?"

"No!" CJ said pretending to be appalled at the idea.

"CJ." Sam laughed.

"I'm go and stand outside Leo's door actually." CJ admitted throwing
her glasses down.

"Don't bother." Sam grinned, "I'm sure that if anything happens,
Margaret will be here to inform us immediately."

"True." CJ laughed.

Her arms wrapped around herself, Donna tried to pull herself together.
She needed to get it together. Sitting here and kicking herself wasn't
going to do any good. No. She needed to...she needed to...oh god, what was
she going to do? She should have listened to that tiny voice in her
head. The one that told her no good could come of it. No good could
come from wearing her heart on her sleeve. Donna should have taken her
fears and held them up to Josh.

Taking a deep breath, Donna cringed when she realized that the room
smelt like sex. Sex. She had sex with Josh. Groaning, Donna buried her
face in her hands. This was not good. No. The sex was good. Amazing.
Mind blowing even. The problem wasn't the sex, at least not for Donna.
It was what happened after the sex. Josh just up and left. He left her
in his guest room after they had mind blowing sex. He just left.
Feeling anger replace the hurt, Donna got out of bed and began hastily
pulling her clothes on. Jackass.

He just left? He thought that he could just leave after making love to
her? What? Did Josh think that she was going to forget that it
happened? Ignore it? Move on and bring the banter so that their
wouldn't be any awkwardness? Jackass!

Did Josh honestly think that they could pretend that this never
happened? Did he think that Donna was just going to forget that they
had sex, never mention it, and sit back and watch while he dated Amy
Gardner? Jackass!!

Oh no. Donna wasn't just going to roll over and let Josh think that he
could make love to her, twice, and never talk about it again. No.
Donna wasn't going to let Josh think that he could just leave her in
bed without an explanation. OH NO. No. This wasn't her fault. He
started it. Josh was the one who started it. He held her. He kissed
her. Josh was playfully. He was laughing. He told her that they were
an "us." He hadn't been freaked out when she said home. He hadn't run
screaming from the room. He sat there and grinned at her for gods
sake. Josh even insinuated that she was going to live here with him.
After all that. After making her feel loved, he just left? Oh there
was going to be some yelling involved and it was Donna who was going
to do the yelling this time. Josh was going to hear exactly what Donna
had to say. Jackass!

Pulling her sweater over her head, Donna tried to keep her tears in
check. Crying wouldn't help. Mourning a relationship that didn't exist
wouldn't make her feel any better. Pulling together the tiny pieces of
her heart would have to wait until later.

Grabbing her keys, Donna stuffed them into her pocket and walked out
into the warm morning sun. She was going to walk to the White House,
yell at Josh for thinking that he could do this to her and call Casey
and see if his offer was still there.

"Leo, you busy?"

"Hey," Leo said waving Josh in, "you're here?"

"Yeah." Josh said closing the door behind him, "Why do you seemed so
surprised by that?"

"I thought that you'd be at home driving Donna crazy."

Feeling his face heat up, Josh tried to keep the WAS JUST LAID face
under control. Under wraps was a better idea. At least until he knew
Leo wasn't going to kill him. "I have a couple things to do..."

"Anything important?" Leo asked.

"Isn't it all important?" Josh asked fidgeting with nervous energy.

"Yeah," Leo said regarding Josh with a knowing smile. "but I meant
does anything need your attention right at this moment?"

"Well...no." Josh admitted.

"Then go home." Leo said dismissing him and going back to his own work.

"What?" Josh asked wearing his HAVE YOU LOST IT face clearly.

"I said go home." Leo repeated not looking up.

"I...but...I...but...." Josh tried.

"No buts. Go home."

"I have work..."

"And I don't want you doing it if you're going to be spending all your
time thinking about Donna and whether or not she has enough ginger
ale."

Feeling his face flush with embarrassment, Josh couldn't help but
think about how he had checked that this morning before he left.
Oh-kay, Leo knew him too well. It was disconcerting. "I can work, Leo.
Don't worry."

"I know you can," Leo sighed, "but it's been a light week and it's
Sunday for christ sake. Go home and annoy Donna, instead of staying
here and annoying us. Give her my condolences." Leo teased.

"I can focus on...wait." Josh said looking at Leo oddly, "How did you
know that Donna was at my place?"

"I know everything, Josh." Leo grinned, "Remember that."

"Leo." Josh said seriously. "How did you know?"

"Because I know you and your anal and overprotective tendencies when
it comes to Donna. Of course you didn't let Donna go home to her own
place."

"And you're okay with it?" Josh asked preparing himself for a scolding.

"As your boss or as your fathers friend?" Leo asked.

"Both."

"As your boss I can't say that I'm crazy about the idea, but it's you
and Donna." Leo said shrugging his shoulders, "You're taking care of
her. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Leo...I've got to tell you something." Josh stuttered shoving his
hands in his pockets, looking like a guilty little boy, "Me and
Donna...you see..."

"And as your fathers friend, and as yours," Leo said cutting a
surprised Josh off, "all I have to say is WHAT THE HELL TOOK YOU SO
LONG?"

Looking up at Leo in surprise, Josh looked around the room for a sign
saying he had just slept with Donna, "What? How did
you...Leo...what..."

"Remember?" Leo said leaning back in his seat and grinning at Josh, "I
know everything."

"You know everything, huh?" Josh asked feeling his fears melt away at
Leo's easy grin.

"Yeah." Leo confirmed, "You've also got a horrible poker face."

"So I've been told."

"Donna's a smart girl." Leo laughed.

"Yeah," Josh agreed grinning like a fool, "she is."

"Though I've got a few things to say about her choice in men." Leo teased.

"Ha, ha." Josh said falling into a visitor chair. "So you're really
okay with it?"

"I am." Leo said leaning forward, "So relax. Take a deep breath and
enjoy this thing you've got going with Donna."

"It's not a thing, Leo." Josh said without a trace of humor, "Me and
Donna. It's the real thing."

"Yeah?" Leo asked, not surprised by Josh's conviction.

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"So...that's it?" Josh asked, "No big lecture about bad timing? No
yelling? No pulling out the Chinese water torture?"

"Nah," Leo said smiling, "none of that. However, the President may do
some yelling."

"Yeah?" Josh asked feeling his fears start to creep back.

"Yeah. He's gonna be mad at being off by just two weeks."

"Two weeks?" Josh asked confused. "What are you talking about?"

"The pool." Leo replied without missing a beat. "The President put his
money down for two weeks from now. I personally put it down for a
couple months ago. Who knew you really were that stupid?

"You're yanking my chain." Josh said skeptically.

"Nope."

"Yeah."

"Believe what you want." Leo said going back to his papers. "Now go
away so that I can do some real work."

"Okay." Josh said getting up. His hand on the door knob, Josh turned
back to Leo. "Leo?"

"Yeah?"

"Better late then never...right?" Josh asked letting his I'M IN LOVE
face shine bright

"Yeah." Leo grinned.

"Okay." Josh said returning the smile, "I'm gonna go home."

"Josh!" Leo called out.

"Yeah?"

"You told her...right?" Leo asked frowning slightly. "I mean...you're
not the stupid...right?"

"Told her?" Josh asked confused. "Told her what?"

"Josh." Leo growled.

"Oh." Josh said nodding. "Yeah. Yeah, I told her."

"Good."

"I mean, I told Amy that we were over two days ago."

"That's not what I meant," Leo said shaking his head, "but it's good
that you broke up with Amy before things with Donna..."

"Leo," Josh said cutting him off, "I'm pretty sure me and Donna
started a long time ago."

"Yeah," Leo agreed, "but I meant Donna."

"What?"

"Did you tell Donna that you love her?" Leo asked exasperated with
Josh's stupidity.

"She knows." Josh said not worrying about it.

"I'll take that as a no." Leo sighed glaring at Josh.

"What?" Josh asked confused.

"Are you sure she knew?"

"Of course." Josh said with more confidence then he felt.

"You sure?"

"Yes?"

"Was that a question?" Leo asked frowning.

"No?"

"Josh!" Leo barked.

"Leo, I didn't tell her." Josh groaned, "I should have told her this
morning before we made..."

"Whoa!" Leo said putting his hands up, "Stop. Too much information."

"What do I do now?" Josh asked panicking, "Leo?"

"Go home now and tell her."

"Okay. I can do that." Josh said nodding.

"Pray that she's still there, Josh."

Feeling his stomach fall to the floor, Josh swallowed hard and nodded.
"Thanks Leo."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah." Josh said quickly making his way back to his office.

"Amy." CJ said obviously surprised to see Lockjaw, um...Amy standing in
Josh's office. "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for J." Amy said not bothering to look up from her seat.

"You're sitting in Josh's chair." CJ pointed out needlessly.

"Yes, I am."

"Okay," CJ said regarding the woman strangely, "does Josh know that
you're here?"

"I assume he'll find out when he walks in here to find me sitting in
his chair." Amy said simply.

"Ah, okay." CJ frowned, "I guess."

"I'm surprised to see you here on a Sunday."

'I'm here to find out if Josh finally got together with Donna and
dumped your ass.' CJ though as she smiled politely at Ms.
Pain-in-the-ass-Gardner. "Yeah, just doing this thing."

"What is with you people and the word thing?" Amy asked not bothering
to hide her disdain or fangs.

"I don't know." CJ shot back, "What's with you and replacing a persons
name with one letter?"

"CJ?"

Spinning around to find a bewildered Josh, CJ glared in his direction. "You."

"Uh, hi?" Josh offered wondering what the daggers were for. Oh god,
had she talked to Donna? Was she mad? Had she left already?

"I need to talk to you." CJ said leaving no room for argument.

"Okay," Josh said slipping past a towering CJ and into his office.
"but not right now. I need to...Amy?"

"J."

"What are you doing here?" Josh asked frowning, "Why are you in my chair?"

"We need to talk."

"Not now." Josh said grabbing his backpack and his coat.

"Now." Amy said glaring at him.

"No," Josh corrected, "later."

"J." Amy said freezing him with her ice, "Now. You owe me that much."

Sighing, Josh ran an agitated hand through his hair. "Fine. CJ, can
you give us a second?"

"Yeah." CJ relented. "I'll be in my office when you're done."

"Okay." Josh nodded watching CJ close the door behind her. "What do
you want Amy?"

Closing Josh's door behind her, CJ noticed Donna walking into the
bullpen, "Donna?"

"Hey." Donna said slightly winded.

"Are you okay?" CJ asked guiding Donna into an empty chair.

"No." Donna said honestly.

"What happened?" CJ asked noticing her expression and her labored
breaths. "Did you walk?"

"Yeah, from Josh's apartment." Donna said cringing slightly at her words.

It didn't go unnoticed by CJ. "What happened."

"Nothing." Donna lied unconvincingly.

"Donna."

"CJ," Donna sighed trying to get her breathing under control, "I...I
can't get into it. Not right now."

"Okay," CJ relented, "but you know that you can come and talk to me...right?"

"Yeah." Donna said feeling her resolve starting to crack. She couldn't
do this. She couldn't confront Josh.

"You broke up with me." Amy pointed out getting out of Josh's chair.

"Yeah."

"I can't let you do that." Amy said coming around to him.

"You can't?" Josh exclaimed, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm saying that you can't break up with me." Amy explained.

"We dated Amy." Josh said questioning her sanity, "It wasn't a
lifelong sentence."

Frowning at his choice of words, Amy glared at Josh. "I'm un-breaking us up."

"What?" Josh laughed.

"We, at this very moment, are still dating."

"Amy," Josh laughed shaking his head, "you've lost it."

"Shut up, J." Amy said before she grabbed him and kissed him.

"Do you want to talk to Josh?" CJ asked rubbing Donna's arm comfortingly.

"No," Donna said slowly, "but I need too."

"Okay." CJ said wondering what the hell was going on, "I'll get him."

"Is he busy?" Donna asked catching CJ's arm and cursing herself for
even caring if Josh was too busy to see her. She shouldn't care. She
could just storm in there and tell him what a jackass he was.

"No," CJ said shaking her head, "at least Amy doesn't qualify as busy
in my book."

"Amy?" Donna asked feeling anger flood her again and numb her aching heart.

"Yeah." CJ mumbled confused as she watched Donna shoot out of her
chair and storm towards Josh's door.

"What the hell?" Josh asked pulling away from Amy.

Her arms still wrapped around his neck, Amy grinned up at Josh. "Now,
at this very moment, I'm dumping you."

"You are insane." Josh said shaking his head, "You know that?"

Before Amy could defend her sanity, Josh's door flew open.

Her anger running on high, Donna threw Josh's door open. She wanted to
yell. She wanted to scream. She wanted to throw things at him and hurt
him the way he'd hurt her, but the moment she saw Amy standing there
with her arms wrapped around Josh and Josh wearing Amy's lipstick, all
the anger that Donna was feeling drained out of her. A wave of
undesirable pain washed over her and broke whatever was left of her
heart. This was what if felt like to have a broken heart. To be
broken. This was what it felt like to die.

"Donna!" Josh yelped pulling away from Amy.

"Josh!" CJ yelled standing behind Donna.

"I can explain." Josh said watching Donna look at him with blank eyes,
"This isn't what it looks like."

Three of the occupants of the room held their breaths and waited for
Donna to have some kind of reaction. They waited for yelling. They
waited for anger. They waited for hate. But all they got were silent
tears.

She was numb. Donna was numb and the worst part was, she liked it.
Nothing hurt. Nothing stung. Nothing felt broken.

"Donna," Josh said reaching out for her.

Donna felt herself snap out of the comfortable gray area the moment
Josh brushed his warm skin over her cold skin. Reality came crashing
back and all the memories hit her hard. Memories of what his lips felt
like on hers. How his hands were gentle and arousing. How they felt
together. How...how...

"Don't." Donna whispered recoiling from Josh's touch.

"Donna," Josh said trying to reach out for her.

"Don't." Donna said pushing Josh away. "Don't." she said through her
tears. Pivoting suddenly, Donna pushed past a stunned CJ and ran away
from it all as fast as she could.

"Jesus." Josh hissed pushing past CJ and running out after Donna. For
someone who was just released from the hospital, she sure was
sprinting fast.

Watching Josh disappear, CJ turned back to glower at Amy. "What the hell..."

Gathering up her coat and bag, Amy walked past CJ. "I'm gonna go."

"That's a good idea."

Frowning at CJ, Amy made her way out of Josh's office. "He has a thing
for her." she said over her shoulder.

"What?" CJ asked following Amy into the empty bullpen.

"The Deputy Chief of Staff," Amy said turning around to face CJ, "has
a thing for his secretary."

"Assistant." CJ corrected.

"What?" Amy asked obviously annoyed.

"Donna is his assistant, but most importantly, his friend." CJ said
standing her full height and staring down at Amy.

"She's his subordinate." Amy said slowly and purposely, "Do you know
what it would look like for Josh to be screwing his secretary?
Questions about impropriety are going to rise and people are going to
wonder how Donna got her job...hell, I wonder how she got her job! And
another thing..."

"For someone who makes a living talking about women's rights," CJ said
cutting Amy off, "you sure are making some huge sexist comments."

Narrowing her eyes at CJ, Amy crossed her arms. "I don't need to prove
anything to you. I didn't get where I am today by sleeping with
anyone."

"If you are insinuating what I think you're insinuating," CJ said her
voice calm and low, "then I suggest you leave before I sic an agent on
your ass."

"Making threats, CJ?"

"No," CJ growled, "promises."

"I'd leave if I were you."

Spinning around surprised, Amy put on a false smile for Toby and Sam.
"Hey guys..."

"Don't even try it." Sam said shaking his head with annoyance.

"Try what?" Amy asked innocently.

"I repeat," Toby said giving Amy a bored look, "I'd leave if I were you."

"I can handle this." CJ said her face terrifyingly neutral.

"I don't believe you," Toby said simply, "and I don't think Leo would
appreciate a fight in the middle of Josh's bullpen."

"CJ could take her." Sam said putting in his two cents.

Giving Sam an annoyed look, Amy scoffed at him.

"You're still standing there." Toby sighed in that strangled way of his.

"Yes, I am." Amy pointed out needlessly.

"Why?" Toby asked.

"Because I can." Amy replied stubbornly.

"You really can't." Toby said launching his rubber pink ball
dangerously close to Amy's feet and catching it easily when it came
sailing back at him.

Flinching as the pink ball came sailing at her again, Amy scowled at
Toby. "I'm waiting for J."

"I really don't think he'll want to talk to you when he gets back." CJ
said crossing her arms.

"Well too bad for him."

"You were just leaving before you made disparaging remarks about CJ
and Donna." Sam pointed out, watching Amy redden with sick
fascination, "Why aren't you gone yet?"

Her face reddening with anger, Amy glared at Sam. "I thought that you
were his friend."

"What?" Sam asked confused.

"I though that you were Josh's friend."

"I am."

"If you were his friend," Amy spit out, "then you wouldn't let him
fool around with his secretary..."

"Assistant." CJ, Toby and Sam corrected in unison.

"Assistant," Amy mumbled, "whatever. All I'm saying, is that if you
were his friend, you wouldn't let Josh throw away his entire career
for some leggy blonde, who happens to be a dollar a dozen."

"Okay," Sam said his voice sharp, "now you leave."

"All I'm..."

"No." Sam said cutting Amy off. He was seeing red and he'd never hit a
woman before, but god, he was close to hitting Amy. "Just take your
contradictory ass and get out of here."

"I'm just trying to..." Amy said trying to make her point.

"Oh for christ sake," Toby growled, "shut up and leave already. Before
Sam brings a defamation of character suit and CJ kicks your ass from
here to the RNC. You've somehow managed to talk yourself so far down a
hole, I don't know when, or how, you're going to get out."

"I..." Amy stuttered surprised at Toby's tone.

"You've insulted CJ and questioned her credibility, which meant that
at the same time you were insulting the administration and our
credibility." Toby said his tone serious and cold, "You've also
insulted Josh and Donna. Do you really think that Leo would have let
Josh hire Donna if she wasn't competent and capable? Are you
questioning Leo's decision? Are you question this White House and our
merit?"

"N...no..." Amy stuttered trying to back track, "All I meant was..."

"No." Toby said waving a dismissive hand at Amy, "Just go."

Realizing that she'd walked herself into a dismal corner, Amy held her
head up high and spun around. Walking out of the White House for good.

Watching Amy disappear for good, CJ turned at smiled at Toby. "Nicely done."

"I'm amazing this way." Toby deadpanned.

Grinning, Sam nodded. "Sometimes Toby..."

"Shut up and find some work to do." Toby growled heading back to his office.

"Okay," Sam laughed sharing a smile with CJ as they watched Toby head
back towards his office.

"Tell me when they get back." Toby said over his shoulder.

"You want to know because you care?" CJ asked sharing a grin with Sam.

"Oh shut up." Toby growled turning around and smiling at the laughing
duo, "Go find some real work, or something."

"Donna!" Josh yelled running out of the White House after her. "Donna!"

Getting past the last gate, Donna pulled her sweater tightly around
herself and fell into the sea of people looking up at the White House
in awe. Ignoring Josh, Donna moved as fast as her legs would carry
her. Her lungs burning, Donna pushed herself to go faster. Just get
away and maybe it wouldn't hurt as much.

"Donna!" Josh yelled pushing past the people and trying to keep his
eye on her blonde head. "Donna, stop!"

Donna could see people look up curiously, but she didn't care.
Panting, she felt her ears burn every time Josh yelled her name.

Running faster, Josh finally caught Donna's arm. He held on tight, as
much as she struggled, because he was never letting go. "Donna,
please..."

"Shut up. Just shut up." Donna said trying to pry his fingers off of her arm.

"Donna," Josh said grabbing hold of her shoulders and making her look
at him, "let me explain."

"What is there to explain?" Donna demanded turning her face away from Josh.

"Donna," Josh begged holding on tight, "please."

"I don't want to hear it." Donna said shaking her head, "I don't care."

"Donna, please. Just listen to me."

"No." Donna said ripping herself out of Josh's grasp, "You left, not
me. You left me this morning..."

"I didn't." Josh said trying to make Donna understand. "I didn't."

"You did!" Donna said looking up at Josh, her vision blurred with hot tears.

"I just...I was..." Josh said stumbling over his words, "I didn't think
this morning...I should have woken you before I left..."

"I don't care." Donna said walking away.

"You don't mean that." Josh yelled.

"I do."

"Donna!" Josh said trying to keep up with her, and trying not to run a
poor pedestrian over in his rush to keep up with her.

"Just go back to Amy." Donna spit out.

"We're over."

Scoffing, Donna hastily wiped away her tears. "It didn't look like that before."

"Donna," Josh said catching her arm, "I broke up with Amy two days ago."

"What?" Donna asked looking up at Josh surprised.

"I broke up with Amy two days ago." Josh repeated.

Studying Josh's expression, Donna shook her head in anger. "Do you
think that I am an idiot?"

"What?" Josh asked confused.

"Do you think that I would believe you? If you broke up with her, then
why didn't you tell me two days ago?" Donna demanded.

"I don't know..." Josh said trying to think of a valid reason.

"You don't know?" Donna asked incredulously.

"I don't!" Josh yelled frustrated.

Stopping, Donna turned to glare at Josh. "You could have told me when
I asked you about Amy in the car. You could have told me when I asked
about Amy in your apartment. You could have told me while we were
having dinner, Josh!"

"I don't know why I didn't tell you." Josh said truthfully.

"Then what was she doing in your office?" Donna asked turning her face
away. "Why were you two..." she said trailing off.

"She kissed me." Josh said needing to point that out. "I didn't even
participate. Amy came to try, in some demented way of hers, take
control of a relationship that was over."

"I just..." Donna said shaking her head.

"Ask Leo." Josh said following Donna as she tried to figure out where
she wanted to go.

"Ask Leo?" Donna echoed, confused where Josh was going with this.

"Ask him. I was in his office just before I found Amy, unexpectedly,
in my office. I told him that I broke up with Amy two days ago, I told
him about us..."

"Us?" Donna asked cutting Josh off.

"I told Leo," Josh said gently taking Donna's face in his hands,
"about us. I told him that there was an us."

Swallowing, Donna shook her head. "Josh, this isn't...I don't know...we...is there a..."

"Donna," Josh said wiping away her tears with his thumb, "we're the real thing."

"We are?"

"Yeah," Josh whispered, "we are. Me and you. This is it."

"Josh..."

"I don't want you to worry." Josh said seriously, "I don't want you to
question. I don't want you to wonder about how I feel. I don't want
you to have any fears."

"Josh," Donna said looking up at him, "what about..."

"We'll worry about that when we get there."

"Are you sure Leo's okay with..."

"Yeah," Josh grinned, "Leo's okay with it. It seems that there's a
pool going around."

"A pool?" Donna asked surprised.

"Yeah. Donna?" Josh asked leaning his forehead against hers.

"Yeah?" Donna replied finding herself mesmerized by Josh's big brown eyes.

"Can I tell you something?" Josh asked seriously.

"Yeah." Donna nodded holding her breath.

"I love you, Donnatella Moss." Josh whispered leaning in to kiss Donna
softly. Moving onto her cheek and her eyes, Josh repeated it over and
over with every kiss. "I love you. I love you. I love you."

Standing under the blooming cherry blossoms and in a sea of noisy
tourists, Donna would always remember this particular street with a
soft spot in her heart. This was where everything feel in line. This
was were forever was carved in stone. This would be where Josh would
propose and she would accept. This would be where they would come to
share a quiet moment together, when they helped the President win
second term. This would be where Donna would bring Josh to tell him
that he was going to be a father...twice. This would be where they come
to celebrate when CJ and Toby finally got it together. This would be
where they would bring their children every spring when the cherry
blossoms were in full bloom. This would be where they would stop when
the days ran too long and the nights too short. This would be where
Josh would bring Donna whenever he wanted to give her good news. This
would be where they would come, with secret service agents in tow,
extraordinary friends and loving family, to toast their 20th
anniversary. This would be where memories were made and cherished.

"Donna?"

"Yeah?" Donna asked looking up at Josh with shinning eyes.

"You okay?" Josh asked brushing a gentle kiss over her eyebrow.

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"Josh?"

"Yeah?"

Smiling an ageless smile, Donna wrapped her arms tightly around Josh
and brushed her soft lips over his perfect ones. "I love you." Donna
whispered.

"I know." Josh smirked, before he leaned in to kiss her. "I love you too."

"I know." Donna echoed, listening as Josh's laughter spread through
the bright sky.