TItle: Heart Condition

Author: aerousu

Rating: Teen

Summary: When Josh faces another health crisis, it forces he and Donna
to face up to their feelings. Set sometime late season six- between La
Palabra and Things Fall Apart

Author's Note: I'm not a doctor and I don't even play one on TV, so
any medical errors are mine. I did reseach, but am more than
falliable, so please bear with me. It always intrigued me this season
that it seemed Matt and Helen really didn't know Josh all that well,
which spurred this idea. It's my first multi part story. I hope you
like it!

Josh attempted futilely to listen to Rhonna's analysis of their
chances with the teacher's unions in North Carolina. All day long he'd
been fighting waves ofdizziness and light headedness that he knew he
should not be ignoring, but with the race for the nomination as close
as it was, he chose to. Suddenly he realized the room had cleared some
and Congressman Santos and his wife were watching him expectantly.

"Josh? Did you hear what I asked you?" Matt Santos asked slowly,
looking somewhat perplexed at the lack of razor focus he'd become
accustomed to from his campaign manager. Josh shook his head quickly,
attempting to clear the fuzziness from his mind.

"Sorry, Congressman, I missed it. Can you repeat the question?" he
asked, feeling more fuzzy around the edges than the moment before.

"Never mind. Are you all right? You look like something the dog
brought home." Santos commented sharply, eyeing the other man
appraisingly.

"I'm... I'm fine, Congressman. Just a bug or something," Josh lied
quickly, with some effort to keep his breathing steady as a searing
pain hit him in the back and left side. "Do you have an aspirin by
chance?" He asked softly, knowing that if his body was denying him the
way he thought, an aspirin may be of some help.

Helen Santos took one look at Josh's face and not only doled out
aspirin, but pulled out her cell phone and started dialing.

"Bug my ass, Josh. You're going to the hospital. I'm calling an
ambulance right now." She said sharply, reading the signs of cardiac
distress and feeling a heavy sense of d‚j… vu. Years ago, she had seen
the same signs with her father and lost the battle.

"No. I'm fine, really. I just need to..." Josh attempted to stand, but
collapsed back into his chair. Matt and Helen rushed to him.

"Josh, hey, are you all right?" Matt asked quickly, lightly shaking
him. Slowly, Josh regained consciousness and looked around in
disorientation.

"That's it. I'm calling the ambulance. You need to be in a hospital."
Helen snapped firmly, pulling her cell phone back out. Josh reached up
and took the phone.

"No. I'll go, but no ambulance. The press will be all over it and that
will be all the coverage this campaign gets is the heart patient
campaign manager." Josh gritted out firmly, exhaling sharply as the
pounding in his chest seemed to rattle through his entire body.

"I'll drive you to the ER. Helen, call ahead to let them know we're on
our way. Tell Rhonna to juggle our afternoon schedule and I'll be in
touch when I can." Santos instructed his wife, kissing her lightly on
the forehead before helping Josh back to his feet.

"No, Congressman, you've got a hundred fundraisers this afternoon, you
can't bail out on them. Have a staffer drive me or I'll get a cab."

"Josh, I'm taking you and that's that. Helen can go grip and grin,
she's the prettier one anyway." The two men made their way towards the
entrance of the campaign headquarters. Seeing the grayish tone of
Josh's complexion and the way he was leaning on the Congressman,
Rhonna headed over to Helen.

"What's going on? Please tell me Josh had a bad tuna sandwich." Rhonna
quipped. Helen shook her head abruptly.

"I'd lay odds our Mr. Lyman is having a heart attack. I'd lay even
better odds that he knew this was coming and has been ignoring it.
Stupid politicians and their screwed up priorities, that idiot was
worried about press interest in him instead of the campaign." She said
in disgust.

"What- what are we supposed to be doing now? Is it serious? Shouldn't
we be calling someone or something?" Rhonna asked in mild panic.

"I wouldn't even know who to call. I've never heard Josh say a word
about anyone- family, friends or otherwise that wasn't directly
related to this campaign." Helen raked a hand through her golden hair.
She and Rhonna stared off into the distance for a few moments until
Rhonna suddenly sprang up and went running to her laptop.

"Personnel files. We had to list an in case of emergency contact. I'll
pull Josh's up and we can call whoever he listed."

"I didn't know you had those. Good thing you have them on your
computer." Helen commented. Rhonna quickly found the information she
had been looking for.

"He lists a Donna Moss. That name sounds familiar... does it ring any
bells to you?" Rhonna knew it was a name she should know, but in her
panic, she couldn't begin to place it.

"Um... no, but after all the random donors and supporters I've met the
last three months, I'm not sure my own mother's name would sound
familiar to me." Helen commented ironically. She pulled her cell phone
back out and peered over Rhonna's shoulder to punch out the number.
The line rang several times before voice mail picked up.

"Hi this is Donna Moss, I'm either sleeping or somewhere on the
campaign trail unable to get this, so leave a message and I'll get
back to you."

"Voice mail" Helen told Rhonna with a question in her voice. Rhonna
shrugged in deference to Helen's opinion on what to say. "Uh... Donna,
this is Helen Santos. You don't know me, but it is very important that
you call me back as soon as possible. My cell phone number is
707-555-6778 or you can call the Santos headquarters in DC and talk to
Rhonna- 545-332-1345. It is very important that we talk to you as soon
as humanly possible." No sooner had she disconnected the call, when
her phone rang.

"Hello. Hi honey, uh huh, what are they doing now? Do you want me to
come down there? I can wait just as well as you can. The donors
actually do want to see you. Uh huh. Ok, I'll meet you there in a
few." Helen hung up and turned to meet Rhonna's expectant eyes. "Matt
says he's in the cath lab right now. Something about complications
from his injuries at Rosslyn causing this. I'm going to head over,
Matt sounds a little spooked. Can you and Ned hold the fort for a few
hours? Hopefully we'll get a hold of this Donna person."

"Sure thing. Tell him we're pulling for him."



Donna had been in the middle of a strategy session on the Vice
President's education platform when the call from Helen Santos came
in. As soon as she noticed the caller id, her heart began racing and
the old ache filled her stomach. The ache that was directly related to
Joshua Lyman.

As soon as she could sneak out of the meeting, she listened to the
voice mail, expecting to hear him ribbing her on one of "Bingo" Bob's
latest foibles. Instead, she heard a message that made her blood run
cold. As vague as Helen Santos's message was, there was only one thing
it could mean. Something had happened to Josh. Donna ran back into the
campaign offices to find Will. The meeting had broken up while she was
out of the room and he was standing near the phone banks talking to
some volunteers. She caught his eye and he excused himself discreetly.

"Donna, what's up?" he asked with concern lacing his voice, noting the
sudden pallor of her complexion and building terror clear in her wide
blue eyes.

"I have to go. Something's happened to Josh. Helen Santos just left a
message on my voice mail." Donna's voice carried a note of panic and
tears were threatening to pool in her eyes. Will noticed this, and
felt a stab of anger and jealousy.

"Donna, we're kind of in the middle of something here. You aren't
Josh's assistant anymore, you don't have to run off to his beck and
call." He said sharply. At her sudden intake of break and piercing
glare, he took an unconscious step back.

"Will, I'm going. He needs me."

"Yeah, well this campaign needs you too. Let his new assistant take
care of him. For all we know this is another stunt, like the chickens,
to get to you." Will remarked cynically.

"Josh would never do something like that and certainly not to me. Not
everything is about politics, Will." Donna lashed out angrily, picking
up her purse and sprinting out the door to her car. As soon as she got
in, she dialed the number Helen Santos had left for her.

"Hello?" a female voice answered uncertainly.

" What's happened to Josh?" Donna demanded much more forcefully than
she would have under normal conditions.

"Is this Donna?" Helen Santos asked quickly.

"Yes, I'm sorry I should have identified myself. This is Donna Moss.
Has something happened to Josh?" Donna asked a little more calmly,
though the edge of panic in her voice remained.

"He's having some kind of cardiac problem right now. They took him in
for testing quite a while ago. I just got to the hospital and haven't
seen the doctor myself. Matt said something about an arrhythmia, but
wasn't really sure." Helen responded quietly, knowing very well how
frightening those words can be.

"Ok, I'm on my way there. Did you call his mother yet?" Donna asked
nervously, knowing how worried Sylvia Lyman would be about her only
son.

"Josh has a mother? He had you listed as his emergency contact in the
personnel files we have for the campaign. We didn't know who else to
call." Helen answered somewhat sheepishly.

"Ok, I'll call Sylvia after I talk to a doctor. Is Dr Newman the one
treating him?" Donna asked quickly.

"I don't know. Should he be?"

"Well he's been Josh's cardiologist since Rosslyn. Can you ask them to
page him? I should be there in a few more minutes."

"Ok, we'll see you when you get here. Um... how will we know it's you?"
This entire conversation made Helen feel like a world class idiot, but
she was also sure she wouldn't be able to pick Donna Moss out of a
line up.

"I'm tall with long blonde hair and I'm wearing a navy blue pant
suit." Part of Donna was surprise Mrs. Santos didn't know who she was.
While her role as spokesperson was relatively recent, she had been in
the press quite a bit when news of John Hoynes latest sex scandal
broke.

"Ok, I'll let the nurse at the front desk know too in case Josh gets
moved before you get here. See you soon."

"Thanks for calling me, Helen. Bye." Donna disconnected the call and
did her best to focus on the drive to GW and ignore the many questions
and regrets swirling in her mind.

The whole drive to GW, Donna berated herself for not being sure there
was someone to watch out for Josh on the campaign trail. Each time she
had run into him he had looked worse than the time before. She knew he
wasn't seeing his physician as frequently as needed, that his blood
pressure was undoubtedly through the roof and that the pharmacy of
pills that kept his repaired heart functioning were probably not being
taken with the regularity needed.

More than anything, she regretted the last six months of silence and
stiltedness between them. The hurt pride and hurt feelings that kept
them from even speaking for two months, and still reared its ugly head
at odd times in the few phone calls they exchanged since the stem cell
vote.

There was also a small voice in the back of her head telling her the
exact opposite. That she was crazy to drop everything to rush back to
Josh's side. A voice that sounded suspiciously like Will's kept asking
what it was going to look like for the Russell campaign spokesperson
to be racing to the bedside of Santos' campaign manager. The same
voice reminded her of how far she had come in finding her own way in
national politics, becoming someone important in her own right, not
just an assistant. By rushing to Josh's bedside, all of that could be
lost. If propriety had held her back from expressing her love for him
when she worked for him, now it should be paralyzing her.

Instead, she barreled through another red light, just as she'd
promised so many years ago she would do. Because whether it was
appropriate or not, whether she was making an enormous mistake or not,
she had to be with him now.



Title: Heart Condition

Rating: Teen

Disclaimer: I do not own West Wing or any of its characters, so please
don't sue or anything rash like that.

Author's Note: We're heading into the medical stuff here, so again I
apologize if my facts aren't correct. Thanks for all the wonderful
feedback! I appreciate it so much!
Chapter 3

"Well, that was Donna Moss. She's on her way here." Helen said to Matt
as she returned to the small waiting room the ER staff had ushered
them into after realizing the chaos a Presidential candidate would do
to their larger waiting room in the front of the ER. Matt looked up at
her with confusion.

"Why is Bob Russell's campaign spokesperson coming here now? Can't
they give us a few hours peace? And how the hell did they find out
about this?" Matt's already frayed nerves pushed his usually congenial
side to the back burner. The very idea that his opponent would be
using this situation for political gain was so distasteful he vowed to
beat him for that reason only.

"What are you talking about? Josh listed Donna as his emergency
contact in Rhonna's files. I just spoke to her on the phone. Did you
know Josh had heart problems before?" Helen asked quietly, hoping that
her husband knew the man who had turned their lives upside down better
than she thought he did.

"Helen, do you think Josh and I compared medical histories before we
started this campaign? Why would I know that? Josh never says much of
anything about his personal life and I never ask. It's not my
business." Matt's eyes never met his wife's as he continuously scanned
the waiting room for Josh's doctors or worse, for signs that the press
had caught wind of the situation. Helen stared at her husband in
absolute shock.

"What exactly do you know about our Mr. Lyman? Other than his
political genius, I mean." At her husband's blank stare, Helen sighed
in frustration. "You are so lucky we are in a public place and there
are several large security guards around here or I swear I would tear
you limb from limb for getting us into this so blindly." Helen stalked
away from him and flopped down on a hard beige vinyl bench, picking up
a very old copy of People to thumb through.

Matt took a deep breath and prepared to meet his wife's wrath head on.
He knelt in front of her and pulled the magazine out of her hands.
Helen attempted to turn away from him to avoid his gaze, but he held
her firmly by the shoulders.

"Hey, I didn't do this just for the hell of it. I may not know the
details of Josh's life, but I know the kind of man he is. I trust him.
He's a good man and he was willing to take a huge leap of faith in
heading this campaign. That's enough for me." Matt met Helen's
searching eyes head on, not flinching for a moment as she stared at
him in silence. They sat like that for several moments until a woman's
panicked voice was heard from the welcome desk.

"Excuse me! Excuse me! Is anyone working around here? I need help!" A
tall blonde woman was pounding on the desk. Matt recognized Donna and
immediately rushed out to stop her from drawing any more attention to
herself than she already had.

"Donna! We're in here. Come on." Matt put his hand on Donna's lower
back to lead her into the waiting area. Donna flinched at his touch
and stood frozen for a moment, clearly struggling to keep her
composure. At Matt's questioning stare, she took a deep breath and
followed him. Once they were away from the confused and curious
onlookers in the general waiting room, Donna stopped walking and
turned to face Matt and Helen.

"What's going on? Has Dr. Newman stopped by? What brought this on?
Hasn't Josh been taking his medication?" Donna shot questions off
quicker than either Matt or Helen could process them, let alone fumble
answers to them. Helen held a hand up to stop the interrogation.

"Hold on, Donna. We don't know much more than I told you on the phone.
Josh and Matt and some of the other advisors were having a meeting and
Josh started looking bad. At the end of the meeting, I came in and
noticed he was pale, sweating a bit and he seemed a little out of it.
We gave him an aspirin and Matt brought him here. He's been in the
cath lab for about 30 minutes for testing. I had the nurse page Dr.
Newman and he is consulting. We haven't heard anything more." Helen
spoke soothingly, knowing all too well how terrifying this situation
was for Donna without really knowing her relationship to Josh.

"You said something about an arrhythmia on the phone. Is that what
they think is going on?" Donna asked Helen, who then looked at her
husband for help.

"The doctor who took him up for testing said something about that as
they left. Nobody's said anything more since then." Matt answered,
glad to be of some help in this situation.

"And how did nobody notice that Josh wasn't feeling well before you
had to bring him here? You're with him all day, every day. Didn't you
notice he wasn't looking very well?" Donna shot back at Matt. He gaped
at her audacity for a few minutes before Helen stepped in.

"Honestly Donna, Josh has been going full throttle like this for
weeks. He's always stressed, always looking much more exhausted than
anyone else, and never says a word about it. How were we to know there
was anything to be worried about? He's a grown man, for God's sake."
Helen was really trying to like the woman before her, but her
accusations were hard to take. Donna stared her down for a few minutes
before softening.

"I'm sorry, it isn't your job to take care of Josh. I just...I'm sorry."
Donna finished weakly, lowering herself to the bench behind her. The
trio sat in silence for some time, Helen and Matt exchanging perplexed
looks, both trying to connect the dots in this situation. Finally Matt
cleared his throat.

"Uh Donna, I hate to ask this right now, but I know it would be the
first thing out of Josh's mouth if he knew you were here. Did you tell
anyone on the Russell campaign anything about what's going on here?"
Donna stared at him blankly at first, than irritation burned over her
face.

"I told Will Bailey and he may have fired me when I left. I'm not
really sure, I just had to get here. Are you afraid there's going to
be a scandal of some kind because I came?" Donna raged, exasperation
written all over her fine features.

"I'm sure that's not it. Matt just wanted to know if there was any
chance the press would find out what's going on so we can let the
hospital know to expect media interest. Right, honey?" Helen asked in
a tone her husband knew far better than to disagree with. Before he
had a chance to respond, a short, balding man in a white lab coat
appeared at the door. Matt stood to greet him and Donna and Helen
followed suit.

"Mr. and Mrs. Santos, and Miss Moss, I didn't know you were here. Mr.
Lyman will be happy to see you, I'm sure. Though perhaps not as happy
as the nurses will be. If I recall, you were the only one able to keep
him happy during his last hospital stay." The physician spoke as if
they were casual acquaintances meeting at a dinner party, not in an
emergency room waiting room. Helen and Matt again exchanged
questioning glances.

"Dr. Newman, how is Josh?" Donna asked, dispensing with pleasantries.

"He's stable for right now, but his heart has been beating quite
erratically for some time. He said that he's been having episodes of
arrhythmia for several weeks, building more in the last few days until
the last, most severe one. We were able to shock his heart back into a
normal rhythm, but I'm recommending we do further treatment to prevent
this from occurring again. With Josh's already compromised heart,
continuing episodes of this arrhythmia could be fatal." Dr. Newman
paused to allow them to soak in all he had said. Matt and Helen stared
at the doctor, completely dumbfounded. Donna had pulled a small
notebook out of her purse and was taking copious notes.

"So what treatment are you suggesting?" Donna asked.

"Often medication such as Beta blockers will do the trick, but with
Josh's haphazard history of taking his medications, I don't think that
is a good choice. I would recommend inserting a pacemaker to shock the
heart out of any irregular pattern."

"Didn't we discuss that after Rosslyn? Just as a precaution back then,
but I remember you mentioning it then. What does it involve?" Donna
was all business, taking in every detail the physician before her
mentioned.

"I think after we may have discussed doing it as a precaution when we
were concerned about how well the repair of his pulmonary artery was
going to hold. At that time, we decided to medicate. As I said before,
that is not a good choice for Josh. Inserting the pacemaker is a
relatively simple procedure, he'll be awake the whole time. He'll
probably be ready to go home in a day or two, assuming there are no
further complications."

"What will recovery be like? Any further precautions beyond the
pacemaker?" Matt asked, very concerned about what Josh's condition
meant for not only the campaign, but for his mental stability. Josh
without the high stress, fast paced world of politics was
unfathomable.

"I'd like to have him take a few weeks to rest before going back to
work full time. Certainly, a more heart friendly lifestyle would be
encouraged- less stress, more regular exercise and of course a better
diet." Donna, Matt and Helen exchanged dubious glances. Heart friendly
and Josh's lifestyle didn't exactly go hand in hand.

"Have you discussed all of this with Josh?" Helen asked, curious to
his reaction and general state of mind at the moment.

"Yes. He asked to see the Congressman. He's awake for now, but we'll
be giving him something to help him sleep shortly. I've scheduled the
procedure for tomorrow morning at 7 AM." Dr. Newman informed them and
nodded his goodbye. "Good to see you again, Miss Moss."

Donna slapped her notebook closed and turned expectantly to Matt and
Helen, who still seemed a little shell shocked by the entire
situation. The couple exchanged a glance that seemed to communicate a
hundred thoughts, something that drew an overwhelming wave of jealousy
deep within Donna. Their intimacy, the way they knew each other's
minds without speaking was something she'd longed for as long as she
could remember. She'd thought at one time she might have found it with
Josh, but things were pretty muddled now. Proof of that was in his
asking for Matt Santos instead of her, which tore at her heart far
more than it should have.

"I'll... I'll just go up to check in with our patient." Matt said,
shifting his weight back and forth between feet and waiting for his
wife to make the situation less awkward.

"Donna, can I buy you a cup of coffee? I'm sure you'll want to check
in on Josh once Matt is finished, we may as well get acquainted in the
mean time." Helen suggested brightly, trying to cover the intense
curiosity she held in the woman before her and her relationship to
Josh. Donna nodded mutely, suddenly so exhausted that the effort of
speaking seemed beyond her. Helen linked arms with the other woman and
headed towards the elevator with only a slight backwards glance at her
husband.



Title: Heart Condition Chapter Four

Rating: Teen

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the West Wing characters etc. Just
trying to play a little, so please don't sue!

Author's Note: Thanks for the feedback. This chapter sets up the big
Josh/Donna confrontation. It's coming next time out, I promise, so
hang in there
Chapter Four

Matt arrived on the floor Josh's hospital room was on and heard him
bellowing all the way down the hall. Steeling himself for his campaign
manager's bad temper, Matt hustled down the hallway to save whatever
healthcare workers were trying to help Josh.

"GET OUT! I'm not going to eat anything on that tray, I don't need you
to explain the two channel television to me and I will NOT get you the
Congressman's autograph!" Josh shouted. A frightened looking young
blonde woman scurried out of his room and almost tripped over Matt.
She looked up at him, stricken, and a huge sob shook her shoulders
before she ran down the hall with tears streaming down her face. Matt
knocked lightly on the door.

"I said GET OUT!" Josh roared before seeing Matt looking at him with a
mixture of amusement and trepidation. "Uh, sorry. I don't really do
too well in hospitals." Josh whined, slumping down into the bed.

"So I gathered. You know you made that poor girl cry. Guess we can
kiss her vote goodbye." Matt teased.

"D. C's primary doesn't count anyway, and it was about three months
ago." Josh scoffed, with a wave of his IV hand.

"Counting us out already, Josh? Think the primaries are as far as
we'll go? You get a few heart palpitations and now you're ready to
call it a day?" Matt's tone was light, but his gaze was serious and
steady. Josh met his eyes and shook his head.

"No, certainly not, sir. I still believe you will be President, even
without me there to nag at you and give you bad advice. Rhonna and Ned
run a great team and you have instincts better than any politician
I've ever worked with." Josh answered, with a trace of wistfulness in
his tone.

"And is that the way it's going to be? You've decided to quit? Not
that I blame you at all, just want to know where we stand." Matt said
with uncertainty all over his face. Josh had been the very center of
the campaign, keeping all the wheels moving forward in ways the others
did not even notice.

"I...I don't know. Dr. Newman is certainly high on a low stress
lifestyle and I think we both know the campaign trail is anything but
that." Josh couldn't quite meet Matt's eyes for fear he'd see the
turmoil this health scare was causing him. Matt waited a few minutes,
weighing his words carefully.

"You know Josh, it's been brought to my attention that you and I don't
know each other all that well outside of campaign matters. But if you
need an ear to listen while you think through a few things, I'm here."
Josh looked up at his candidate with a wan smile.

"I appreciate it, Matt, I really do. I just don't even know where to
begin right now."

"Well if it's any help, there's a beautiful blonde woman having a cup
of coffee with my wife right now that rushed to your bedside the
instant she heard you were here. Seems like she may have a pretty good
ear too. She obviously cares about you very much. She ripped into
Helen and I for not taking better care of you." Matt said with a trace
of laughter in his voice.

"Donna's here?" Josh asked, shock filling his face. "How did she know?
Is this in the press already?"

"Not as far as we've seen yet. Rhonna and Helen called her. I guess
you listed her as your emergency contact. Is there something I should
know about you and the Chicken Fighter? Not that I care, mind you.
Just curious." Josh sighed heavily and stared out his window before
answering.

"Uh...there's not a lot to say. Donna worked for me in the White House.
We were pretty close."

"She worked with you and you made her your emergency contact over your
mother? There's more to this story, Josh. It's none of my business,
just seems like if she's rushing to your bedside something must be
going on. She made a comment about not being sure whether she was
fired for doing so." Matt tried not to push too hard, but wanted to be
sure Josh was clear on things. He had taken an instant liking to Donna
for her fierce tenacity and did not want to see her hurt.

"It's complicated, Matt. Donna and I ... we were really close. I always
thought it would be something, you know? But she left and it's been
difficult since then." Josh still kept his eyes on the window rather
than meeting the older man's eyes, knowing he'd call his bluff soon.

"Complicated, huh? But you still listed her as the person to contact
if something happened to you. Why?" Matt pressed on, knowing that it
really wasn't his business, but knowing someone had to do it before he
came face to face with Donna.

"I don't know...I guess it was just habit. She took care of me after
Rosslyn, almost more than my own mother did. She always took care of
me, nagging me about what I ate, to take my medication, to exercise
more. It was just what we did." Matt continued to stare at his
campaign manager with disbelieving eyes.

"I don't buy that for a minute. She's downstairs waiting to see you,
so you might want to do a little self examination before she comes
up." Matt advised him. "We can talk about the campaign and things
later. You have more important things to think about right now." With
that, Matt left the room.

Josh stared out the window again, pondering what Matt had told him.
The truth was that he had listed Donna as his emergency contact
without thinking about it, just a force of habit. She was the only
person who knew how to take care of him without driving him crazy. But
if he was honest with himself, he knew that it went deeper than that
and it scared him.

While Matt was up with Josh, Helen and Donna made their way to the
hospital cafeteria for a cup of coffee and a change of scenery. They
found a table in a deserted corner of the room and sat down. Donna
pulled out her cell phone.

"I need to call Josh's mother and let her know what's going on. Do you
mind?" Donna asked while checking her contact list for Sylvia's
number. Helen stared at her in disbelief.

"You have Josh's mother on speed dial?" She asked incredulously. Donna
nodded as she waited for Sylvia to answer her phone. She put a hand up
and turned away from Helen as she heard the older woman's jovial
voice.

"Hi Sylvia, it's Donna. I'm all right, how are you? Uh huh... it's been
awhile. Busy... uh huh, well you know Josh, not too big on phone calls.
Actually Sylvia, I'm calling about Josh. He's had a little bit of a
heart problem, nothing too serious, but they're going to put in a
pacemaker tomorrow morning. No, I don't think you need to hurry here.
The doctor made it seem like it was a very routine procedure. Yes, Dr.
Newman, the cardiologist who took care of him after Rosslyn. Uh huh,
the bald one. Sure, I'll stay until you get here. It sounded like he
should be home in a day or two, but Dr Newman wants him to stay home
for a few weeks afterwards. Yes, I'm sure that will be really popular
with Josh. The rules will need to be enforced again. Umm... I'm not sure
what Josh will want. I'll have him call you in a bit, ok? All right,
see you tomorrow, Sylvia. I missed you too. Bye." Helen did her best
not to eavesdrop, but even one-sided the conversation was fascinating.
Donna was talking to Josh's mother like she was her own mother,
something that as a woman who'd been married for many years had never
felt with her mother in law. The many mysteries of the relationship
between Josh Lyman and the woman before her just kept growing.

"Sorry about that, but I knew Josh wouldn't call her. He doesn't like
to worry her, though that's pretty much impossible. Sylvia Lyman has
spent every day since Josh was shot convinced the phone would ring
telling her that her son was dead. It doesn't help that he never calls
her and almost never goes to see her. Another thing sacrificed for
national politics." Donna remarked with a touch of bitterness. After
the events of the day, the sacrifices they had made for their careers
and for others' careers seemed very steep.

"Good thing she has you to keep her up to date on her son's
activities." Helen joked, trying not to be obvious how curious she was
about their relationship.

"Well that used to be, but not so much lately. I haven't talked to her
much since I left the White House. It got too hard, trying not to put
her in the middle." Donna seemed to think Helen knew more about the
situation than she did, which was getting her nowhere.

"Ok, I've been trying really hard not to stick my nose in your
business, but I just don't understand. What are you to Josh?" Helen
asked bluntly. Donna let out a harsh, humorless laugh.

"Well that's really the 64,000 question these days, isn't it? The
short answer, I guess, is that we used to work together in the White
House and were friends."

"Must be more than friends if you are the person he listed to contact
in case of emergency. Otherwise why wouldn't he list his mother, who
by the way none of us knew even existed." Helen continued to press,
despite Donna's obvious attempt to put her off.

Donna opened her mouth to defend herself, but was interrupted by the
reappearance of Matt Santos. He pulled a chair over to their table and
sat down heavily, the stress of the day catching up with him.

"How is he?" Donna asked nonchalantly, though her concern was clear in her eyes.

"Cranky and a little bit depressed, I think. When I got to his room,
he sent a nurse from his room in tears. I think he was glad to hear
you were here, though he was surprised to hear it." Matt attempted to
lead her into further comment. Donna avoided the searching looks both
Matt and Helen were sending her way.

"He shouldn't be. He's the one who made me his emergency contact. You
should both go. I'll stay with Josh tonight. His mother is coming in
the morning. You have campaign commitments I'm sure that Josh wouldn't
want you to miss." Donna instructed, falling into her administrative
mode.

"What about you? Russell won't be happy about you being here." Helen
spoke with a heavy disdain for her husband's political opponent.

"Judging by the number of messages that seem to have accumulated on my
cell phone, I'm quite certain that he and Will are both pretty pissed.
Some things are more important than politics." Donna spoke with a
sudden tremor in her voice that made Helen reach out to squeeze her
hand gently in encouragement. Donna cleared her throat uncomfortably
and turned to Matt. "You had probably better check in with your
headquarters about whether this has been leaked and make a statement.
I don't know how many people would really care, but give Will a minute
and I'm sure he'll find a way to use it against the whole Santos
campaign." Donna's voice was business-like, but held a bitterness that
was shocking to both Matt and Helen.

"Wow! You tell it like it is, Miss Moss. I wouldn't expect such candor
from the Russell spokesperson." Helen remarked with a degree of
admiration in her voice. Matt looked uneasy at her clear betrayal of
campaign allegiances.

"I think when I check my voice mail, I'll find I don't have a job
anymore. And if by some miracle I do still have a job, I think I've
worked my last day for Bob Russell. Josh is going to need someone to
keep track of him when he gets out of here. Following physician
instructions is not his forte. Of course that is assuming he'd want my
help." Donna finished uncertainly.

"I think Josh is the only one who can answer that. He's expecting
you." Matt replied. Donna sat frozen for a moment, looking more
frightened than she had the entire time they'd spent with her. Taking
a deep breath, she stood and gathered her purse to leave.

"Ok. You really should get back. I'll call in the morning with the
updates on how things go." She promised and turned to leave. Helen and
Matt watched her leave in silence. After she had disappeared down the
hall towards the elevator, Helen turned to Matt.

"So what's the story with those two?" She asked with an arched
eyebrow. Matt shook his head in confusion.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing. Josh tried to say they
were just friends, but that doesn't make sense with his reaction to
her name or the way she stormed in to that emergency room."

"I really like her, she seems like she'd be good for Josh. If things
work out, I think you should hire her. She's smart and she knows what
makes Josh tick. That would be nice to have around." Matt smiled at
his wife's comments.

"We'll see. We better get back and make a statement like she
suggested. Rhonna's probably going crazy by now." He suggested and
took his wife by the hand.



Title: Heart Condition Chapter Five

Rating: Teen

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the West Wing characters etc. Just
trying to play a little, so please don't sue!

Author's Note: Thanks for the feedback. I am a dabbler at fan fiction,
so all the feedback helps. This is a short one. I know I promised last
time that the Josh and Donna chat would be in this chapter, but the
muse took me elsewhere and it didn't feel right to have both events in
the same chapter.

Chapter Five

By the time Donna made her way to Josh's room, he had been given
something to help him sleep and was in the twilight between
wakefulness and sleepiness. She crept in quietly, trying not to
disturb him. Just seeing the steady beat of his heart register on the
monitor sent waves of relief through her.

Hearing the creak of the chair beside him, Josh's eyes fluttered open.
After a moment, recognition and warmth flooded his face.

"Hey, it's Donnatella," he croaked. Donna smiled at the slightly doped
up glaze to his brown eyes. She leaned over to drop a light kiss on
his forehead, feeling emboldened by his altered state.

"I'm here. How are you feeling?"

"They're going to put a battery in my chest."

"No, they're not, silly." Donna laughed.

"Are too. Dr. Baldy told me so." Josh argued in true four year old
style. What was it about any form of medication or alcohol that turned
him into a preschooler?

"Clearly, somebody forgot to tell the nurses about your sensitive
system. They gave you too much happy gas." Donna teased.

"Donnatella, I do NOT have a sensitive system! This is some sthrong
shtuff zhey gave me." Josh slurred, his eyes hazier by the moment.

"If you say so. Why don't you just close your eyes and go to sleep?
I'll be here when you wake up." Josh's eyes slid closed before she
finished the sentence. Donna couldn't resist pulling his blankets up a
bit and tucking him in.

With Josh resting peacefully, Donna was free at last to let the events
of the day hit her. Had she really walked away from her job to be with
him? How was it possible after months of steeling herself from his
charm and her own feelings that she was back where she started so many
months before? One thing she could no longer deny no matter how hard
she tried was that she was in love with him. Her head told her she was
being the world's biggest idiot, that Josh didn't posses the ability
to love her the way she needed him to, but it didn't matter to her
heart. Her heart told her over and over again that no matter what it
took, she was going to make things work between them this time around.

Donna stared at Josh's features, trying to memorize the peacefulness
of his face. It was unnerving to see him so still. Yet there was
something so comforting about the lack of a furrow in his brow and the
slackness of his jaw. Medicated or not, at least he would rest
tonight, probably the first time he'd gotten a decent night's rest in
months, maybe even since Rosslyn. She had no way of knowing for sure,
but she suspected that the stress of the campaign had brought his
nightmares back. It certainly hadn't been good for her sleep. Whether
it was life on the road or the unending ache that she tried to pretend
wasn't related to Josh, she found herself awakening regularly at three
in the morning to flashes of explosions and SUVs overturning.
Sometimes the dreams had her watching Josh get into the SUV and then
seeing it explode, which almost always left her breathless and unable
to sleep the rest of the night.

A loud knock at the door distracted Donna from her reverie. Her
stomach filled with lead when she looked up and found Will glowering
at her. Checking that Will's obnoxious knock hadn't disturbed Josh,
she motioned for him to meet her in the hall. She stood with
difficulty, her leg stiffening up as usual after several hours of
sitting. Will stalked out into the hall and Donna followed him,
pulling the door closed behind her.

"What the hell are you still doing here?" Will demanded with fire in his eyes.

"Well hello Will, how was your day?" Will rolled his eyes at her sarcasm.

"We're in the middle of a national campaign, Donna. I don't have time
to be nice. What the hell are you still doing here? You have a job,
you know? One that I gave you when almost no one else would with your
lack of education and experience. What are you doing here? Do you know
how bad this looks to the press, to the Vice President? What are you
thinking?" Will raged on, hardly giving her a moment to interject an
answer to any of his ranting.

"Are you finished yet? Some one who is very important to me could have
died today. I'm sorry that causes the Russell campaign problems, but
not everything is about politics, Will. I'm not here because the
Santos campaign manager is sick, but because Josh is sick and he needs
me." Donna fired back when Will paused to take a breath.

"Why are you so sure he still needs you?" Will shot back, striking her
where he knew it would hurt most. Donna stood silent for a moment,
tears that had threatened all day welling again in her azure eyes.

"I'm not. But I need to be here whether he thinks he needs me or not,
so the end result is the same. I'm sorry it's causing you problems,
but if I'm so unworthy of my job you shouldn't have any trouble
finding some one to take my place." Will gaped at her, stunned at her
last statement. He had fully expected to show up, threaten her job a
little and she'd come running back to Russell headquarters. He'd never
imagined she would quit over this. The very idea made him even more
furious than before.

"Are you daring me to fire you, because let me tell you the last thing
Bob Russell said to me as I left was that you no longer had a place in
his campaign. I could talk him out of that, if I wanted, but not if
this is your attitude." Will spat out.

"There's no need for you to fire me, Will. I quit. I hope Santos kicks
your ass and that both you and Bob Russell find yourselves working to
get elected to the city council of Nowhere Ville, USA. Although even
Nowhere Ville deserves better in its public servants." With that,
Donna spun on her heel and stalked back into Josh's room, letting the
door slam ever so slightly behind her.

Donna stalked back into Josh's room, steam practically billowing from
her ears. How dare Will have the audacity to come there and say those
thing? True, she didn't give him much choice when she didn't return or
even listen to the thirty some messages he'd left on her cell phone.
What frustrated her the most was that once Will had an actual heart, a
somewhat jaded heart at times, but a heart none the less. That Will
would have understood that sometimes life came before career, before
appearances. Somehow working to get Bob Russell elected president,
which now that it wasn't her job to do she could admit was very
frightening, Will had become a completely different man from the one
she'd once known.

Part of what made her so furious with him was that he was saying the
things her head had been telling her since she received Helen Santos'
phone call. She didn't know for certain that Josh still needed her or
even wanted her around. His doped up friendliness aside, she had no
real assurances that there were any feelings for her left on Josh's
side. She knew that once upon a time, before she'd been nearly blown
to smithereens in Gaza, before she'd grown so frustrated with the lack
of momentum in her career and personal life that she had to leave him,
Josh had loved her. It had been there in his eyes when he picked her
up for Bartlett's second inauguration, in his smile when she helped
him straighten his tie and in his gentle hand on her back as they
walked and talked through the halls of the White House. While there
had been moments on the campaign trail that she thought she saw a
flicker of his emotions in his eyes, he had kept himself steeled
against her for the most part. They may have found it in themselves to
bring the banter a time or two, but the underlying fire seemed to be
gone, as if they were just trying to keep up appearances instead of
admit to themselves that things had changed.

Yet looking at Josh's still slumbering form, her heart gave a little
leap. She loved him, she'd never stopped loving him and no matter what
happened next, Donna knew she would always love him.



Title: Heart Condition Chapter Six

Rating: Teen

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the West Wing characters etc. Just
trying to play a little, so please don't sue!

Author's Note: Finally, the long awaited (by you and me both!) Josh
and Donna conversation! Of course it wouldn't be Josh and Donna if
they got it all out in one chat, would it?

Chapter Six

Donna dozed on and off in a chair next to Josh's bed. Every time he
shifted or murmured in his sleep, she jolted awake in a panic.
Sometime around five AM, Josh's shifting became more pronounced and
Donna looked up to find him awake and lucid for the first time. She
eyed him warily, unsure what to say or do now that he was aware of his
surroundings.

"You're still here?" Josh whispered. His words sent a wave of d‚j… vu
through her as she smiled and nodded slightly. They had been at each
other's bedside far too many times.

"Yeah, I'm still here." Donna's voice wobbled as she spoke. Josh
studied her for several minutes before speaking again.

"Will won't be happy." He commented with a trace of bitterness in his voice.

"What Will thinks about the situation really doesn't interest me any
more." Donna commented cryptically. Josh raised an eyebrow at her, so
she continued. "I quit. He came storming over here a few hours ago,
insisting I leave and that this looked bad. So I quit."

"He's right. This does look bad." Josh commented, but did not seem
concerned about it.

"There are things in this world that are more important than politics."

"And I'm one of them?" Josh was a bit incredulous that after all that
had happened between them she could even begin to think that. Donna
leaned over and kissed his forehead lightly.

"You may be the only one."

They sat in silence for quite a while, both trying to digest what had
just happened. Neither dared to meet the other's eyes, but both kept
darting furtive glances at the other. Finally, Josh broke the silence
with the question that had been on his mind since Matt Santos had
informed him she was there.

"Donna... what are you doing here?" His voice was husky and a bit
unsteady, but his warm brown eyes met hers. Donna considered the
question for a moment before returning it to him.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I'm here because six years ago some jackass put a bullet in my chest
and made my heart defective." Josh answered, knowing that wasn't what
she meant.

"No, Josh. I meant, what AM I doing here? Why did you list me as your
emergency contact?" Again her words were met with silence as Josh
pondered the right thing to say. Finally, he decided it was better to
be honest with her at last.

"Because I need you." He whispered brokenly, his face a picture of
inner turmoil. Donna released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been
holding. Josh met her eyes and again asked "Donna, why are you here?"

Tears pooled in Donna's eyes yet again and fell in a steady stream as
she reached out for his non-IV hand. Squeezing it gently, she
whispered back.

"Because I need you."

They sat holding hands, comfortable in the silence for the first time
since they'd known each other. Josh reached up to wipe away Donna's
tears and she leaned into his touch.

"I'm scared." Josh admitted a few minutes later.

"Me too." Donna agreed softly. Josh shook his head.

"No, not about us, about this." He said and put his hand over his
heart. Donna reached up to stroke his face, running her hand through
his messy curls.

"It's a simple procedure, Josh. You'll be awake the whole time."

"That's even worse. I don't want to hear them cutting into my chest."
Josh shuddered.

"What would help you feel better about it?"

"Can you... would you come to my surgery? You know, talk to me to
distract me from what's going on, and hold my hand when I'm scared?"
Josh asked, suddenly as vulnerable as a child. Donna took a deep
breath, unsure that she was strong enough to be in the operating room
with him. The need in his eyes made her decision for her.

"Of course. As long as it's ok with the doctors, I'll be there."

"Thank you."

"We should call your mom." Josh looked at Donna like she had taken
leave of her senses.

"It's not even sunlight yet, my mom won't be awake for hours." Donna
chuckled at his ignorance.

"Josh, I'm pretty sure your mother hasn't slept all night. I talked to
her yesterday and let her know what was going on. She is on a seven AM
flight from Miami. She's probably at the airport by now and I know
she'd feel better if she heard your voice."

"Okay. You talk to her first, she'd rather talk to you, I'm sure." Josh urged.

"You are crazy, but if you want." Donna picked up the phone beside
Josh's bed and dug her mini-address book and phone card out of her
purse. After locating Sylvia's cell phone number, she dialed the
number and waited for a response. "Hi Sylvia, it's Donna. No, nothing
has happened. I have your son here, ready to talk to you. He's very
surprised that you are awake. Ok, I'll see you in a few hours. Bye,
Sylvia." Donna handed the phone over to Josh, who took it with some
apprehension. Sylvia Lyman had the hovering, over-protective mother
bit done pat and was certain to lay into him for not taking better
care of himself.

"Hi Mom! It's a minor procedure. Mom, I do take care of myself! Yes, I
took my medication. These things just happen. Mother, please don't
start crying. You are not going to be the only remaining Lyman. I plan
to be around a long time. Yes, maybe even long enough to give you
grandchildren. You'll have to ask Donna that when you see her Mom.
That's enough, Mother! I'll see you later. Have a good flight!
Goodbye!" Josh hung up in a huff and rolled his eyes.

"Only my mother could turn a get well phone call into a guilt trip
about her not having any grandchildren yet." He remarked with
frustration. Donna laughed, having heard these arguments for years.
"Don't laugh, she's ready to pull you into the argument." Josh warned.
Donna stared at him, completely speechless.

"Wh- Why would she include me? I'm not her child." She stuttered. Josh
shifted in the bed, discomfort all over his face.

"Uh... she seems to think you're going to be the one to bear these
grandchildren." Donna stared at him as if he'd grown another head.
After an uncomfortable few minutes, Josh amended. "Maybe this is a
conversation for a later date. I, uh... didn't mean to scare you or
anything. We haven't even talked about dating or anything. I'm sure
you haven't even thought about kids yet." Donna shook her head, but
Josh was staring at his feet and missed it.

"No, I've thought about it. I just... I uh...never thought we'd be in a
place to actually discuss it." She said with difficulty.

"Seems like maybe we're jumping a few steps along the way. But it's
good to know I'm not the only one imaging little Donnatellas running
around." Josh smiled. Donna found herself fighting back tears again
looking into his dancing eyes.

"You're not the only one." She confirmed, taking his hand again.



Title: Heart Condition Chapter Seven

Rating: Teen

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the West Wing characters etc. Just
trying to play a little, so please don't sue!

Author's Note: Thanks for sticking with this. It's been much more
challenging to keep it going forward than I expected. We're bringing
some of the West Wing folks into the fray, so things are bound to get
interesting. You didn't think Will would take Donna quitting lying
down, did you? Poor Will...
Chapter Seven

When Dr Newman arrived at 6:00 AM to go over the specifics of the
procedure with Josh, Donna was there to ask questions. Since Josh had
the attention span of a three year old, she knew if she didn't get all
the information directly from his doctor, she'd never find out. The
doctor gently refused Donna's request to be in the operating room with
Josh during the procedure, citing concerns about infections. While
Josh was not happy about his answer, he decided not to fight it after
seeing the relief on Donna's face. Dr. Newman assured him that between
the light sedative and the local anesthetic, he would not only be
feeling no pain, but not really caring so much if he did. After the
doctor left, Donna turned to Josh with a teasing smile.

"Sounds like we'll have another drunk Josh on our hands. Should I
alert the authorities?"

"Uh... yeah, sure." Josh answered distantly.

"Josh? Hello? Where are you?" Josh snapped back to attention. "Are you
okay? Worried about the procedure?" Donna tried to cue into his mood
as she had in the past so naturally, but came up empty. Josh swallowed
a few times before blurting out.

"Why didn't you tell me you didn't want to be in the operating room?
Did you feel sorry for me?"

"Josh, no...you wanted me to be there, so I wanted to be there. Yes, the
idea made me nervous... but because it was important to you, I wanted to
be there. I won't deny that I am a little relieved that Dr. Newman
wouldn't allow it, but I really did want to be there for you." Donna's
eyes were earnest, never wavering from his.

They lapsed into silence. Josh mulled over Donna's words and his own
conflicting feelings. It was overwhelming to realize that she was
willing to put her own discomfort aside to help him get through a
frightening situation. It spoke to the depth of her feelings for him,
which was both thrilling and terrifying.

Soon after, Josh was wheeled into the operating room for the pacemaker
insertion. One of the nurses rolled a cot into Josh's room for Donna
to try to rest a bit while he was gone. After a few minutes of
flopping around trying to get comfortable, she rolled up off the cot
and dug into her purse for her cell phone to check her messages. After
deleting the ten messages Will had left the previous evening, she
found the other expected messages from CJ, Margaret and Helen Santos
checking in on Josh's condition. CJ sounded particularly panicked and
Margaret had the edge of frenetic excitement in her voice that came
when she thought she was about to hear some good gossip. Donna decided
to call back, hoping to talk to both Margaret and CJ at once, thus
making sure the entire West Wing was up to date on Josh's condition.

"CJ Cregg's office." Margaret answered, sounding exhausted despite
having just arrived at work in the last thirty minutes. Donna realized
with surprise that her friend was probably getting to the end of her
surprising pregnancy. The campaign for President had more casualties
than Josh and Donna's relationship. It had brought nearly all of their
friendships from the White House to a standstill.

"Hi Margaret! It's Donna. Is CJ available?" Margaret gasped at the
sound of Donna's voice. A loud clatter echoed over the line as she
dropped the stack of files she'd been trying to pull together for CJ's
10AM meeting w/ the minority leader.

"Donna! Oh my God, we've been so worried. First the stuff about Josh
and then this weird thing coming from Russell, and we didn't hear
anything from either of you. Are you ok? How is Josh? Have you really
been together since the inauguration? Why didn't you tell anybody?
Toby is ready to kill Will, by the way, going on and on about honor
and loyalty and moral fiber. Ginger is ready to call the men in little
white coats to take him away at last." Margaret rambled on, leaving
very little chance for Donna to even try to respond. In the
background, Donna heard a clicking sound that she knew meant CJ was
trying to page Margaret. "Uh, just a minute, Donna. CJ wants me." The
line went dead for a few minutes as Margaret put her on hold.

"Donna, I'm so glad you called. Sorry about Margaret's little
interrogation. I keep telling her we're wasting her talents in the
West Wing. They could use her in the FBI! How are you, my friend?" At
the sound of CJ's comforting tones, Donna felt a sudden urge to
collapse into sobs. However stilted and uncomfortable things had been
between them in the last year, CJ had always been like an older sister
to her in the West Wing. Hearing her voice made Donna long for the
days of filibusters and even government shutdowns. She drew in a
ragged breath before responding.

"It's been a busy night. What was Margaret talking about before,
something about news coming from Russell?"

"Are you sure you want to know?" The disillusionment and utter
weariness in CJ's tone was shocking for a woman who had been knee deep
in all kinds of political frays for the past eight years. Donna
steadied herself with another deep breath before answering.

"I think it's better that I find out before Josh does, don't you?" CJ
chuckled ruefully.

"Considering he's in the hospital for a heart condition, you are
probably right. Will released a statement last night that you had been
fired for disloyalty to the Russell campaign. He claimed that you had
been involved in an inappropriate relationship since the 2nd
inauguration. He listed incidents of proof- the trip to Germany, the
snowball thing, something about your hotel rooms on the campaign trail
in Iowa- all complete bullshit of course. Anyone who knows anything
knows that, but it's made both of you look.... Not so great."

"Wow, that's low, even for Will. I mean I knew he wasn't above using
people's dirty little secrets against them, but I had no idea he'd lie
outright. He knows damn well there hasn't been anything going on with
Josh and I until now... maybe not even now. What do I do?"

"Well officially, the White House has no comment on the situation
other than to say that Joshua Lyman and Donna Moss were exceptional
members of the Bartlett staff and that we are grateful for their
service. But Annabeth and Leo have been holed up in her office since 6
AM working on back roads methods of getting our displeasure at the
situation out there. Sam just called and mentioned a libel suit. He's
ready to drop everything to come out and handle it himself. And the
President... well let's just say that the Oval Office walls have been
hearing some pretty choice words lately. I'm pretty sure that Curtis
has the Staff Physician on standby in case he works himself into a
full attack."

"What? Oh my God, CJ. That... I don't know what to say. He shouldn't be
getting himself worked up over this." Donna was aghast at the havoc
her little political scandal was creating throughout their extended
circle of friends and colleagues.

"Relax, Donna. He's just worked up. Abby isn't worried, so the rest of
us aren't either. My point is that the White House will be behind you
in this mess. We can't come right out and say the Vice President is an
incompetent nincompoop who hired the most immoral, unscrupulous liar
ever to be known in politics, but we'll be there. So how's Josh? I
take it you didn't know anything about this?"

"No... I figured Will would pull something after I quit last night, so I
purposely didn't turn on the TV while Josh was here. They just took
him to put in the pacemaker. He's supposed to relax for a few days
before getting back into things. This certainly won't help." Donna bit
her lip, trying to process all of what CJ had just told her. It was
like their worst nightmare, the unspoken reason they had never acted
on their feelings for each other.

"But he's ok? The statement from Santos was just that he had checked
into the hospital due to a pre-existing heart condition and would be
on leave indefinitely. They called him a great public servant who put
the country's future above his own health. Josh would be proud."

"I'm sure he will be. As far as his health goes, the pacemaker should
take care of the problem. His cardiologist is pushing a more heart
friendly lifestyle, but I don't know to what extreme. A better diet
and exercise can be managed, but I have no idea how he can cut down on
stress."

"And how are you doing? You quit your job over this?" CJ asked
leadingly, but without judgment. Donna hesitated for a moment,
remembering their uncomfortable conversation during a lockdown the
year before.

"Yes, I did. Helen called to tell me Josh had been rushed to the
emergency room and I had to be here. I talked to Will, but all he
could see was the politics involved. I didn't come running back when
he called, so he showed up and threw a tantrum like a little boy. He
tried to tell me that Russell wanted me gone, but he could save me if
I left right then. So I quit. It was probably career suicide, but I
couldn't leave Josh alone. We've sat at each other's bedsides too many
times and put our lives on hold for too long. I don't want to waste
another chance just because it doesn't look good politically. I can't
live my life that way, even if it means that I have to wait tables or
pump gas to pay the rent."

"Don't worry about that. You'll get another job, lots of people have
been very impressed by your work on the Russell campaign. By the end
of the day, I'm sure there will be a ton of offers coming your way."
CJ reassured her. Donna wasn't quite sure her friend was being
completely honest, but was flattered anyway.

"Thanks, CJ. I really appreciate your support."

"I had better let you go. I have a hunch the Santos campaign is trying
to get you on the phone. I'll talk to you later, ok?"

"Talk to you soon, CJ. Thanks for everything!" Donna disconnected the
call and had to work hard to calm the panic and fury that were racing
through her body. Will had done the unthinkable. He had lied and
twisted the most sacred thing in her life to something tawdry and
disgusting. She and Josh were finally at the cusp of something really
remarkable and Will Bailey may have single handedly ruined it. Just as
the rage inside her had built to a near blinding level, her cell phone
rang, nearly stopping her heart cold.

"Hello." Donna answered distractedly.

"Donna, hi. It's Helen Santos. How are you this morning? How's the
patient? Driving you crazy yet?" Helen's voice was just a bit too
perky, cluing Donna into the fact that the call was a bit more than a
social call.

"Hi Mrs. Santos. I'm all right, a bit irate at the antics of my former
boss. I bet there are some questions you folks would like to have
answered about now."

"Donna, I hate this. Really neither Matt or I give a damn if you've
been married this whole time, but Matt is kind of funny about lying to
the press." Helen's voice lost the false perkiness, and her concern
was clear.

"I told you before, until now there has been nothing more than
friendship between Josh and I. There were feelings between us, but
neither of us acted on them. This exact scenario was the nightmare,
the unspoken argument for us not being together. For about an hour and
a half it looked like we might have the chance to be together, but now
Will has blown that all to hell." Donna vented, pacing around the
small hospital room in a very Josh-like manner.

"Whoa, Donna, slow down. I'm confused. You've been with this guy, well
not with him, but certainly in love with him if yesterday was any
indication of your feelings, for nine years, right? All this time,
you've put your feelings on the shelf for political reasons, which is
complete bullshit if you ask me, but that's just me. So yesterday the
man you've been pining away for has a life threatening cardiac crisis.
Apparently some time early this morning you and he decided to - I
don't even know what you call it after all this time- but now because
some asshole created a minor political scandal that can be shut down
in about two phone calls, you are willing to call it quits. Are you
kidding me?" Helen's interrogation fueled her rage at her former boss.

"You are right... I'm just not sure Josh will agree when he finds out
about it. I don't know if you've noticed, but Josh kind of lives for
politics. He gave up everything for this campaign, it would kill him
to be the reason for it de-railing."

"That's part of why I'm calling you and not somebody else from the
campaign. I think we may have an idea to take care of this before Josh
has to even know it was a problem. Are you interested?" Helen spoke
with scarcely hidden glee. While most political maneuvering made her
blood run cold, the idea of righting this wrong and sticking it to the
man who had made her husband's life miserable was very exciting.

"Of course I'm interested. What do you have in mind?"

"Well, Ronna got a call from an Annabeth Schott at the White House.
She's sure most of the White House press corps are skeptical about the
Vice President's claims. She wants to drop a few names of folks that
could dispute Mr. Bailey's claims- normal, non-political people. Off
the record, of course. Got any ideas?"

"Uh... well there's always the guy I was dating when Josh came to Gaza.
I got the impression he and Josh had a few conversations about things
between us. Things didn't work out between Colin and I, but it wasn't
acrimonious or anything. The hotel clerk at the Holiday Inn in Iowa
where Josh and I ended up across the hall from each other can probably
state that I tried to get a different room once I realized I was
across the hall from Josh. I don't know if he'd remember for sure, but
he seemed to kind of have a crush on me and I might have flirted a
little to get my way, so who knows? That's probably all for
non-political types. Amy Gardener would be a good one too since Josh
has dated her on and off over the years, but she's a lobbyist and
isn't too crazy about me, so she might not work."

"I actually already talked to Amy last night after this broke and
she's going to be on Larry King tonight with Leo McGarry and somebody
else Annabeth cooked up- a Danny someone who writes for the Post. He's
working on an op ed piece on this whole mess, which Annabeth seems to
think will have everyone ready to send you crazy kids off into the
sunset and give the Santos campaign the nomination. I'll give her the
other names and let her do her magic." Donna was speechless at the
efforts the White House and the Santos's were going to defend them.

"Leo is going on Larry King? To defend US? He was 90 of the reason I
never told Josh how I felt about him. I knew he would never want to do
anything that would disappoint Leo." Donna said in awe after a few
moments of silence.

"According to Annabeth, he's the one leading the charge. Something
about Josh being a son to him. Donna, we have this covered. You just
take care of Josh and we'll take care of politics. This is a fight
Matt is going to win no matter how many rounds he has to go to do it."
The firmness in Helen's tone pushed away any lingering doubts Donna
may have had about political fallout from her relationship with Josh.

"Helen... I can't even begin to thank you for this. I will not forget
your kindness and support." Donna's voice shook with emotion and the
ever- present tears again threatened to fall from her eyes.

"Donna, I like you. I think you are good for Josh and I haven't even
seen the two of you together. This is a fight that is right, that is
worth the scuffle and we will win. This kind of political mud slinging
is against everything my husband has ever been about. We won't let one
of our own be hurt by it. And by the way, we both consider you one of
our own now."

"I appreciate that. Tell the Congressman thank you for me. I had
better let you go. I think Josh's mother should be landing pretty soon
and I want to warn her there may be press waiting for her."

"Matt sent his Secret Service agents to help escort her to the
hospital, so I would imagine she will be there soon. Take care, Donna.
We'll stop by the hospital later today to check on Josh." Helen
disconnected the call and Donna sat silently clutching her phone, the
enormity of all that was being done on her behalf by people she had
either not known at all before yesterday or had had next to no contact
with for the last several months still sinking in. Despite their worst
nightmare coming true, it seemed that things were going to work out
for she and Josh.



Title: Heart Condition Chapter Eight

Rating: Teen

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the West Wing characters etc. Just
trying to play a little, so please don't sue! Sylvia Lyman is a little
bit mine, but mostly her own... she went in a completely different way
than I expected.

Author's Note: Getting close to the end- another chapter or two I
think. Now that the West Wing and the Santos campaign are doing the
political battle, it just might take a mother to do battle with Josh
and his neurosis.
Chapter Eight

Sylvia Lyman swept into Josh's hospital room amidst several dark
suited Secret Service agents, a tiny woman who emanated the same fiery
passion that attracted Donna to Josh. She embraced Donna, immediately
clucking over her like she was her own child.

"Donna, I am so glad to see you. Can you believe this chaos? A mother
needs armed guards to see her son in the hospital? What kind of life
are the two of you living?" The older woman shook her head sadly.
Donna had to bite back a grin at Josh's mother's dramatic response to
the situation.

"I know Sylvia, but don't worry about it. Leo McGarry and Matt and
Helen Santos are personally taking care of this mess. It will be over
before you know it." Donna hoped dropping Leo's name would do a lot to
reassure Sylvia about the situation as he had been very close to her
late husband.

"Leo is taking care of this? That poor man should be retired, not
futzing with this political craziness. That's all Joshua needs is one
more reason to idolize Leo McGarry. He's a good man, but I don't want
his life for my Joshua." Donna found it hard to argue with Sylvia's
concerns, for there was very little Josh wouldn't sacrifice for
politics. She hoped that would be changing from the hints he had
dropped in their last conversation, but couldn't be sure. Sylvia
turned her laser like gaze to Donna's face and smiled.

"I am so glad you are here. I don't know what Joshua would do without
his Donnatella, even if he won't admit it. That boy is as stubborn as
fifty mules. I could shake him, but I don't think it would help. So...
have you talked since all of this started?"

"We did talk a bit last night, but that was before we knew about the
scandal Will cooked up for us. I called CJ Cregg after he went into
surgery and she told me what happened. Josh doesn't know anything as
far as I know. It would probably be a good idea for us to keep it that
way as long as possible. I have a hunch he won't be up for any
political battles when he gets back. They were going to give him some
pretty major sedatives for the procedure." The two women both burst
out laughing, both able to predict the state Josh would be in when he
returned to the room.

A few minutes later they were not disappointed. The orderlies wheeled
Josh back into the room and he looked up at both women with a glazed
smile.

"Mommy! Donna-la-la! You're here! Isn't this a cool bed? It has wheels
on it. We should get you beds like this and have these guys race."

"Feeling no pain, Lyman? I think we will wait a little bit on the
racing. See if you're still up for it when the painkillers wear off."
Donna teased Josh. He looked over at her, his brown eyes having
difficulty focusing.

"Ok, Donna-La-La. If you think so." Josh agreed happily. Sylvia
chuckled at her son and dropped a light kiss on his forehead.

"You do have a sensitive system, my son. I think in this case, that is
a blessing. Why don't you try to rest a little bit, Joshua. We'll be
here when you wake up." As had been the case the evening before,
Josh's eyes slid shut before Sylvia finished speaking.

Donna and Sylvia were content just to watch him sleep. After a few
moments, the older woman turned to Donna.

"Donna, why don't you head home, take a shower and change your
clothes? Josh should sleep for a little while and you look like you
could use a little time to yourself. It's been a long day or two for
you and I have a feeling it won't get much better right away."
Sylvia's tone was gentle, but her gaze was firm. She would not take no
for an answer even if it meant using force to get the younger woman to
take care of herself.

"Sounds lovely, but if it was difficult for you to get through the
press, I'm sure to have a horrible time since I am apparently the
flavor of the month." Sylvia opened her mouth to argue, but was
interrupted by the entrance of Josh's physician.

"Hello ladies. I see Josh has been thwarted by the pain medication yet
again. I just wanted to stop in and let you know that things went
beautifully. We'll keep him in the hospital over night, but that's
just a precaution due to his history. Do either of you have any
questions?" Dr. Newman smiled encouragingly at the two women.

"Dr. Newman, does this hospital have family rooms? Donna could use a
little rest, but due to the mess of politics we won't begin to involve
you in, is unable to go home without creating a three- ring circus.
Since I'm quite certain the nursing staff would appreciate her being
available as soon as Josh regains consciousness, it would be wonderful
if she could use one for a little while." Sylvia jumped in before
Donna could begin firing the many questions she knew the younger woman
had prepared for the physician. Donna gave an exasperated sigh at her
meddling, but had to admit to herself that a shower sounded really
good.

"Of course. I'll check with the nurses. Ms. Moss, before I do, can I
answer any questions for you?" Donna pulled the notebook out of her
purse she had been scribbling random questions in all morning.

"Will Josh know if the pacemaker is working? How long does it last?
How do you know if the batteries are charged? Will Josh need to be
careful around security X-ray machines or metal detectors? What about
cell phones?" Donna rattled off her list with very little pause for
Dr. Newman to give any answers.

"Josh will not really know if the pacemaker is working unless it is
not working. If the pacemaker fires and shocks his heart into a better
rhythm, he won't feel it. It may work continuously all day, once in a
while or never. Most pacemaker batteries last about five years. We
will set up a testing plan that he will have to keep up to be sure the
pacemaker is operating properly. He can probably do it over the phone,
so it won't matter whether he's here or on the road somewhere. I'm not
entirely sure about international travel and his check ups, but we can
look into that if it's necessary. As far as your other questions, I
have some information you can look through that should answer them
all. I'll be right back with it and the key to the family room."

"Thank you for checking on the room, Sylvia. I didn't know hospitals
had rooms like that. It would have come in handy when Josh was in the
hospital last time."

"I hoped back then that you would go home now and then and give me a
little time with my son to nag him about why he hadn't married you
yet. I knew if you were anywhere on the premises he wouldn't tell me
anything." Donna gaped at the Josh's mother, shocked that she had been
onto them that long ago. "Close your mouth, dear. I knew my son was in
love with you the first time he mentioned your name. He said it with a
reverence formerly used for the Mets. Granted, it's taken him a few
years longer than I would like to admit it, but he's loved you all
along." Dr Newman returned before Donna could question her further.

"Here is the information on living with a pacemaker. And the nurse at
the desk will show you up to one of the family rooms. Use it as long
as you would like."

"Thank you so much, Dr. Newman. We really appreciate your help."
Sylvia smiled warmly at the doctor, who nodded back at her and slipped
out the door. She turned quickly to Donna. "Go. We'll have plenty of
time in the next few weeks to discuss the insanity of my son and his
undying love for you. For now, get some rest. I'll call this Helen
person to help get some clean clothes for you."

"Josh is lucky to have you... so am I. Thanks Sylvia. Call my cell phone
when our patient wakes up." Donna slipped out of the room and Sylvia
settled herself in the chair the younger woman had spent the night in.
She placed a quick call to the Santos headquarters and secured a
promise of clean clothes for Donna within the hour. Smiling to herself
at the idea of her son finally pulling his head out of the sand and
loving someone outside of himself, she pulled a crossword puzzle book
out of her black leather bag. She worked her way through two puzzles
before Josh began to stir, grimacing slightly and straining against
his left side.

"I wouldn't do that, dear. You don't want to pull the stitches out.
Your mother is not so wild about blood, you know." She murmured
teasingly. Josh opened his eyes slowly, still a bit bleary-eyed.

"Mom? When did you get here?"

"Not long before they wheeled you back in from surgery. You don't
remember wanting Donna and I to join you in a hospital bed race?" Josh
stared at his mother in mortification. The biggest down side of his
"sensitive system" was the complete amnesia he almost always suffered
the morning (or in this case afternoon) after.

"Were there other people in the room when I did that?" Sylvia chuckled
at her son's humiliation.

"Well the orderlies seemed to get a laugh out of it, but there weren't
heads of state here if that was your concern. Just your girls." The
significance of her final comment was not lost on Josh.

"My girls... speaking of my girls, where's Donna?" Josh tried to cover
his concern at her absence from his bedside, but failed miserably
under his mother's watchful eye.

"I sent her to get some sleep. She should be back in a little while.
By the way, since when have you called her Donna-La-La?" Sylvia tried
to keep the mirth out of her voice, but failed. Josh stared at her as
if she'd grown a third head.

"What are you talking about? I've never called Donna that in my life."
He argued with disgust.

"On the contrary my dear, you called her that at least three times
this morning. I don't think she liked it much. Darling or honey would
be a much better term of endearment I think."

"What makes you think Donna would want me to call her that?" Now it
was Sylvia's turn to stare at her son in shock.

"Shall I count the ways? One, I have eyes and can see the way she
looks at you. Two, she dropped everything to be with you when you got
sick. Three, she quit her job because of you. Four, she is basically a
prisoner in this hospital, because of your stupid politics and is only
worried about how you will react. Shall I keep going or do you get the
picture?"

"What are you talking about? Donna's not a prisoner in this hospital.
You just said you sent her to get some rest." Josh fired back in
confusion. Sylvia immediately realized she had said too much, but knew
there was no going back now.

"Donna didn't want me to tell you about this yet, but Will Bailey
released a statement claiming you and Donna have been together for
years and that you were conspiring against the Vice President. The
press is all over the hospital, her apt and anyone who ever knew you
right now. Don't get upset, the White House and Santos campaign are
handling it. Donna spoke to CJ and Helen Santos while you were in
surgery and feels pretty sure it will blow over soon." Fury darkened
Josh's face and the beeping of his heart monitor picked up
substantially. "Joshua, calm down or you'll have a nurse in here with
happy pills again. Donna said it was being handled."

Josh struggled to take deep breaths to calm his temper. His mother
turned back to her crossword, leaving him to digest everything she had
just told him. After a few minutes of silence, he asked her the
question that had been in the back of his mind since this whole scare
happened.

"Why would she want to be with me now?" Josh's voice was so thick with
emotion, Sylvia wasn't sure she heard him correctly.

"What are you asking me, dear?" She asked quietly, not wanting to
overstep the direction he was steering the conversation.

"Mom, I'm an old man, a broken man with a very muddled future ahead of
me. I may have cost her a very promising career in national politics.
Why would she want to be with me now?"

"Joshua, you are not an old man. You are middle aged at best and have
plenty of good years ahead of you. You have a minor heart condition,
but I'll lay pretty good odds that walking around with a pacemaker is
going to be a hell of a lot easier than the hole you've had in your
heart since she quit. As far as your future goes, it's as muddled as
you want it to be. Nothing Dr. Newman has said has given any
indication you have to radically change who you are. You need to find
a better way to deal with stress. I have a feeling our Donna might be
good at that. Donna made a choice when she came to be with you, trust
her in that choice." Josh let his mother's words settle into his heart
for a few minutes before asking even scarier questions.

"What if I'm not enough for her? What if two weeks from now or ten
years from now, she wants more than I can give her and regrets all
that she gave up? How will I ever live without her again?"

"Joshua, I can't speak for Donna. I can tell you that in love we all
make sacrifices. Your father and I made sacrifices every day for each
other in the years we were married. Some were small like changing the
brand of toothpaste. Some were life changing beyond anything we ever
anticipated. But I never once regretted making any sacrifice for your
father, because I wanted him more than anything else. I know in my
heart it was the same for him. That's how you spend a lifetime with
some one and I'm pretty sure that's what Donna wants with you." Sylvia
took her son's hand and squeezed it gently. "Joshua, I love you more
than you could ever know. I wish I could put all your fears to rest,
but I think Donna is the only one who can do that. You need to talk to
her."

"I'm scared." Josh responded in a whisper.

"I know. But it's worth the risk. Donna is worth the risk."




Title: Heart Condition Chapter Nine

Rating: Teen

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the West Wing characters etc. Just
trying to play a little, so please don't sue! Sylvia Lyman is a little
bit mine, but mostly her own... she went in a completely different way
than I expected.

Author's Note: At last it's time for a real conversation for Josh and
Donna. We're definitely on the downhill slope of this one- maybe
another chapter or two tops. This has been a longer road than I'd
planned, so I really appreciate the feedback from those of you who are
sticking with it. I hope you enjoy it!
Chapter Nine

Josh and his mother passed the next few hours quietly, chatting about
meaningless matters, working on one of the crosswords from Sylvia's
book and watching television. Sylvia refused to allow any form of news
to be on for even a moment, despite Josh's many pleas that he needed
to stay informed. She also refused to allow him any phone access.

"Mom, I'm not a child any more. You can't just take away my cell
phone! I have responsibilities, people rely on me for things." Josh
whined.

"These people happened to witness your little episode yesterday and
are perfectly content to allow you to rest for a while. I spoke with
Mrs. Santos a few hours ago and she said they would stop by this
evening. Besides, I know you don't really want to check in with the
campaign, but want to call Leo or Sam or someone else to conspire
with." Sylvia narrowed her eyes at Josh, reading him as only a mother
can. Josh squirmed for a few minutes under her steady gaze before
admitting defeat.

"All right. You've got me there. But Mom, how can I let them fight
this fight for me? This is my life that's getting dragged through the
mud and I'm stuck in a hospital bed, not even allowed to scream at the
idiots on Hardball for discussing it."

"Joshua, if you start shooting your mouth off you will only get
yourself in trouble. That little sensor in most people's brains
telling them when to stop got shaken loose somewhere along the line. I
personally think it was prep school and that silly attempt to join the
rugby team, but that doesn't really matter."

"I'll have you know I was a very good rugby player. It was the rest of
the team that couldn't keep up with my talent that caused all the
trouble." Josh interrupted sharply.

"You really weren't." Sylvia returned. "My point is that the people
that are fighting your battle as you call it are much more skilled at
handling these things without getting in anyone's face and causing a
bigger problem."

"I've handled plenty of political scandals without getting in anyone's
face. You are being ridiculous." Josh argued.

"How are you going to react if someone calls Donna a whore in front of
you?" Sylvia challenged. Josh's face turned dark and his heart monitor
kicked a much quicker beat. "Exactly. This is too personal for you and
Donna to fight on your own. These people love you and want to help.
Let them repay you for all the sacrifices you have made for your
friends, your president and your country." Josh didn't respond, but
turned away to stare out the window moodily. Sylvia returned to her
crossword puzzle, perfectly content to let her son brood the day away.

"Where is Donna anyway? You said she was going to take a nap, but
she's been gone for hours. Are you sure she didn't just leave?"

"Joshua, the girl didn't sleep at all last night. If her life on the
campaign trail is anything like yours, I'm sure she hasn't gotten much
sleep any time the last few months. We were having a nice chat, so I
didn't call up to wake her. We can do that if you'd like." Sylvia
soothed, driving Josh's blood pressure up in irritation.

"Mother, I was just wondering. It's fine. She can sleep all night if
she wants. Guess the need to be with me isn't so strong now that I'm
not in imminent danger." Josh pouted, trying to draw sympathy from his
mother.

"Joshua, I am quite certain that if I call to wake her, she will be
furious that I waited so long to call her. You have the rest of your
lives to be together, what's a few more hours?" Sylvia asked, still
keeping her eyes on her crossword.

"We don't know that. You don't know what she's thinking right now. She
could be trying to find the most discreet way to get out of the
hospital and go back to Wisconsin for all we know." Sylvia let out a
frustrated sigh and was about to lay into Josh for his lack of faith,
when Donna appeared in the doorway.

"Is that what you think I'd do? Things get a little messy and I bolt?
In case you haven't noticed Joshua, I have always been there at your
side, nursing you back to health, supporting you, taking care of you.
What makes you think this is any different?" Donna's blue eyes were
steely with frustration and hurt as she charged into the room. Josh
swallowed hard a few times, trying to get control of his emotions
before speaking.

"Because you left. Everything is different now, because you left me."
He choked out at last. Donna froze, his words knocking the wind out of
her. Sylvia stood up quietly.

"I think you have things to say to each other. I'm going to go get
some coffee. I'll be back in a bit." With that, she left the room
leaving Josh and Donna to stare at each other, their eyes mirroring
the agony of the last six months. Donna lowered herself into the chair
next to Josh's bed in front of the window, forcing him to meet her
eyes.

"Josh... I didn't leave you, not really. I mean, I did leave, that is
true. I left my job and I left you, thinking that I couldn't continue
to live in limbo. I wanted to be with you, really be with you and I
was tired of waiting for it to be politically acceptable. I thought if
I forced your hand either you would come to me and we could try
together or I would know that everything I'd felt for you for the last
eight years was one- sided and it was time to move on. I tried to move
on. But every victory felt hollow when you weren't there to grandstand
and brag. Every hard time on the road was doubly hard because I didn't
have you to stand beside me. And instead of my leaving making things
easier between us, it made it impossible for us to even be around each
other."

"What did you think it would do? You went to work for Russell of all
people! You knew how I felt about him and you left me to go work for
him, for Will." Josh argued, refusing to see the emotion in her
choices.

"Will knew me. He's the only person that would have given me a chance
to be something more than an assistant. If I was going to try to see
what I could do on my own two feet professionally, I had to work for
him." Donna tried to use logic to explain her choices, but Josh would
have none of it.

"There were other campaigns. You could have worked for a Senator or
Representative's re-election campaign. You have great contacts in
Congress." Josh pointed out.

"Josh, how many people in Congress want to poach the President's pit
bull's assistant, the assistant that everyone knows he relies on more
than most people rely on their best friend or spouse? And those who
might have been willing would only be interested in me as an
assistant. I don't want that anymore. I've grown past it." Donna
returned with a hint of bitterness in her voice.

"So where does that leave us now?" Josh asked, while carefully
studying the thin, scratchy sheet covering his lower body. "Clearly,
you are still angry with me for not promoting you."

"And you are still angry that I left. Josh, I want to be with you. I
think the fact that I may have thrown away a pretty nice career over
you is a testament to that. I think you want to be with me too, but
something is holding you back. What aren't you telling me?" Donna's
question hung in the air as Josh carefully avoided her gaze, lost in
his battles with himself. At last, he took a deep breath and looked up
at her with tears shimmering in his eyes.

"What if I'm not enough for you? I'm not foolish enough to think that
a hundred other men wouldn't be better for you, wouldn't have more to
offer you than I can at this point in my life." The pain and fear in
his voice was enough to stop Donna's breath for a moment. She slowly
shook her head at him, reaching down to caress his face gently.

"Josh, I've had other men in my life. They weren't enough for me,
because they weren't you. I don't care what you have to offer me as
long as you offer me your love. I want to love you, Josh. To really
love you without worrying about who knows and what the political
ramifications are. Haven't we waited long enough to be happy?" Donna's
tears poured down her cheeks. Josh reached out his hand for hers and
she took it, pulling their joined hands up to her face and leaning
into his touch.

"I don't know how to do this, you know. Love someone, I mean. I'm
probably going to screw it up before I even get out of the hospital."
Josh commented, still trying to give her every opportunity to walk
away.

"I'm counting on it. You know, I'm not so great at this myself, so I
guess we can just muddle through it together." Donna answered,
trailing the fingers that weren't wrapped in Josh's through his hair.
Josh sighed at her touch and she felt her stomach flip.

"We do make a pretty good team." Josh mused and tried to shift over in
his bed, yanking his IV pole a little too hard and causing the whole
thing to wobble precariously. Donna leapt up to catch it before it
fell and dislodged from Josh's hand.

"What are you trying to do there, mister? Cause a flood of nurses to
come in and rescue you from this moment?" Donna teased as she righted
the IV. Josh shook his head quickly and continued to shift over in the
narrow hospital bed.

"Exactly the opposite. I'm trying to make a little room for you. Come
lay with me?" Josh asked, patting the empty portion of the bed.

"I don't want to hurt you." Donna responded apprehensively. As much as
she longed to be close to Josh, she was very aware that he'd been in
surgery a mere twelve hours before.

"Just get over here. Do you know how long I've wanted to hold you? I
may need a doctor's note for anything else, but last I heard human
touch is healing. And if regular old human touch is healing,
Donnatella's touch must be heavenly." Josh's dimples had come out in
all their glory with his last statement. Donna returned his smile and
edged her way onto the bed with care. Josh wrapped an arm around her
shoulders and pulled her closer to him, fitting her body securely next
to his. This time Donna sighed, and snuggled her head into the warmth
of his chest. Josh shifted slightly so that she did not press on the
heart monitor electrodes still taped to his chest.

They enjoyed a few moments of silence getting used to each other's
touch. Donna felt a deep sense of coming home, of knowing exactly
where her life was headed for the first time in her life.

"So where do we go from here?" Josh asked, seeming to read her mind.
Donna considered him for a few minutes before answering.

"I really don't think it matters much as long as we're together. What
do you think?" Josh pondered the question for a few moments, gently
running his fingers through her golden hair.

"I think you are right about that. Any other thoughts?"

"I think we need to take better care of each other. I've had enough of
sitting at your hospital bed."

"Yeah, I wasn't too fond of it myself- particularly the emergency
surgery, blood everywhere part."

"Ok... so if I'm going to help take care of you, I need to know how I
can help you be healthier, how we can make sure this heart keeps going
like that energizer bunny."

"I've been thinking about that. Obviously diet and exercise are now
going to have to be part of my life in ways I never dreamed of before.
You're going to have to teach me about that cholesterol stuff, help me
keep on track that way. Then there's the stress angle... I really don't
know how I can do my job and not have a high stress lifestyle. So what
do I do about that?"

"Maybe it's time to build your life around something else now. I'm not
saying you quit the campaign, but maybe if you worked a little harder
at having a life, being a person outside of the job, you might be able
to deal with the stress of your job better." Donna suggested softly.
Josh nodded into her hair.

"I think you're probably right. But can I do that and run a campaign
for the presidency? A hotly contended and now very personal battle for
the nomination, might I add. I don't know. I know that if I'm going to
re-build my life, I want you, I want us to be the core of that life. I
don't want to make the same mistakes that we watched Leo, Toby and
even the President make. I want you to always know that you are most
important to me." Josh's eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes were
searching Donna's for reassurance.

"I think I can go along with that. But I don't think it's as one-
sided as that. It takes two to make a marriage work through the years.
I think in all of those instances, both sides of the marriage let the
team down. They didn't pull together in tough times, but pushed each
other away. We have to do better than that. We've always been a team,
now it's just got better benefits." Donna responded softly. Josh
wiggled his eyebrows at the mention of benefits.

"And what would those benefits be, Miss Moss?" He asked with a teasing
smile, dimples out again. Donna giggled and shrugged her shoulders
with a toss of her hair. Josh reached up and captured her face in his
hands and leaned over to kiss her at last. Donna sighed with
contentment as they broke apart.

"Remind me again why we haven't done that before?"

"I have no idea... politics or something stupid like that." Josh said
with just as much contentment in his voice before leaning down to kiss
her again. Donna ran her hands up and down his back before twining her
fingers through his hair. They were too entranced with each other to
hear the door open to the room and three sets of footsteps coming to a
halt at the bed.

"Sorry to interrupt my dear, but your boss is here." Sylvia called out
jovially. Josh and Donna sprang apart and Donna leapt off of the bed,
nearly taking Josh's IV pole with her.

"Whoa there, Chicken Fighter. Where's the fire? You looked perfectly
comfortable where you were and my campaign manager seemed to be calmer
than I've ever seen him." Matt Santos chuckled heartily. Donna stood
uncomfortably at Josh's bedside, shifting her weight between her feet.
Josh reached over and squeezed her hand.

"Just making up for lost time, Congressman. How are you tonight?"
Josh's smile lit up his entire face, causing his mother and Helen
Santos to smile back at him with relief.

"We are well, Josh. Looking forward to the show this evening. I was
just informed that Will Bailey will also be appearing on Larry King
tonight. I'm thinking about getting some popcorn and beer, putting on
my sweats and having a fine old time. Should be a good old- fashioned
throw down." Matt rubbed his hands together with glee. Helen laughed
at her husband's enthusiasm.

"Honey, as much as I am looking forward to Amy making mincemeat out of
that little toad, I think we should keep our excitement to ourselves.
We wouldn't want to let it get out that we are enjoying this, even a
little bit."

"Oh I don't know Helen, I think Americans would appreciate your
loyalty to friends, especially considering that Mr. Bailey once
considered himself a friend of both Josh and Donna. The whole country
should be cheering when Leo cuts him down to size and Amy eats what's
left for breakfast." Sylvia argued, her brown eyes dancing.

"My only disappointment is that I won't be home to tape the show so I
can watch it over and over again. I'd love to see Will squirm over and
over again. I'm really hoping he brings up our little outing to bring
Donna to Bartlett's second Inauguration with Danny there to dispute
anything he says. Nothing like an eyewitness to blow a man's story all
to hell." Josh's glee at the prospect of the Russell camp suffering
from this manufactured scandal was contagious. The group laughed out
loud at the image of Vice President Russell's version of Josh being
decimated by the friends of the real Josh.

"Well ladies, I could use a cup of coffee. Anyone interested in
joining me?" Sylvia questioned. Josh frowned like a child about to
lose his favorite new toy. "Joshua, I promise I will bring Donna back
in one piece in less than an hour."

"Well all right, then. Can you pick up some food for me? I know
they'll be sending up a tray full of Jell-O and chicken broth and call
it dinner any minute now."

"I'll bring you a lovely salad. Maybe some fruit to go with it. Sound
good?" Donna teased. Josh was about to whine about her choices, but
caught a glance from his mother telling him to keep quiet.

"Anything you bring me will be wonderful, I'm sure. Thank you." Helen
and Matt gaped at Josh's deference to Donna's judgment. Helen linked
her arm through Donna's and steered her towards the door.

"You have got to teach me how you get Josh to agree to anything you
say. I think there are more than a few campaign staffers who would pay
money to see him this agreeable." Helen laughed and the others joined
in, knowing her joke was closer to the truth than it should have been.
Donna smiled and waved back at Josh before disappearing out the door.



Title: Heart Condition Chapter Ten

Rating: Teen

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the West Wing characters etc. Just
trying to play a little, so please don't sue! Larry King and Larry
King Live are also not mine. Sylvia Lyman is a little bit mine, but
mostly her own... she went in a completely different way than I
expected.

Author's Note: The aftermath of Will's big gamble plays out as Josh
and Donna decide what the future holds for them. My apologies to fans
of Larry King Live. I realized mid-way through writing this chapter
that it had been a really long time since I've watched the show much
and I really don't know his mannerisms and the rhythm of the show as
well as I thought. Please try not to let that bother you too much!
Enjoy and as always, feedback is welcomed and encouraged.
Chapter Ten

Josh and Matt sized one another up for a few minutes, neither one
quite ready to have the conversation that they knew was necessary.

"So, you and Donna, huh? I like her, I like her a lot actually. And I
think Helen has found a new soul mate. I'm trying not to be jealous."
Matt joked a little stiffly. Josh laughed just as stiffly.

"I have a feeling a new sisterhood has been born. This could be all
kinds of trouble for every man involved in the Santos campaign." With
the joke played out, the two men sat in an uncomfortable silence until
Matt got tired of the dancing and plunged in.

"Have you made any decisions about when you will be back with the
campaign?" Matt asked Josh, his concern and empathy clear in his eyes.
Josh took a deep breath before responding.

"I don't know that a decision has been made, but I do know that if and
when I come back, things have to change."

"Ok, you are scaring me now. What are you talking about- IF you come
back? Josh, we need you. Without you, we may as well pull up stakes
and give Russell the nomination." Matt pulled up the chair nearest the
bed and sat down, staring intently at his campaign manager's face.

"I appreciate that, Congressman, but it is absolutely not true. I have
done nothing beyond a whole lot of pacing and giving you advice you
don't follow. Almost every time, you end up making the right
decision." Josh laughed, but the look in his eyes told Matt that his
words carried much more self doubt than Josh would ever admit to in
words.

"No, Josh. Your advice has been crucial, even when I don't take it. I
don't have to worry about figuring out what Russell's plans are
because you are already two steps ahead of me. Your connections with
the upper echelon in the party are what kept this campaign afloat in
the early days. We need you. I understand if you feel like you need to
make a change, but never doubt the impact you have had on this
campaign." Josh took a moment to digest what the Congressman had said
before responding.

"My personal life has become the story, Congressman. It may be better
if I step aside and get things back on track, back to the issues you
care about."

"Josh, as much as I hate this personal attack, I think some good has
come of it. We can expose Bob Russell for the man that we both know he
is. A man without scruples, without any concern but winning.
Regardless of my own stake in this campaign, Russell is bad for this
country. Hopefully, the American public will be as disgusted by this
as we are." Josh didn't comment, already going back in his mind to the
decision he needed to make about his career. Santos read that in his
expression and sat quietly in his own introspection, allowing both of
them to evaluate things. After a few minutes, he spoke again.

"If you weren't running this campaign, what would you do? Your whole
life has been politics."

"Donna and I were discussing that earlier. I really don't know. What I
do know is that I need to protect what she and I have started. We have
both witnessed the destruction the White House can do to marriages,
even strong marriages. I don't know how to make a relationship my
first priority while doing what I do where a new crisis comes up every
hour and no plans can ever be set in stone."

"Donna is part of this life, though. I can't believe that she would
fight the demands of the job." Matt argued.

"Can you tell me that Helen understands this life? I've seen her
frustration with the way this campaign has pulled you away from your
children. I don't want to do that to Donna. I want to build a life, a
real life with kids and a dog and neighborhood barbeques and anything
else she's ever wanted. We have waited years to be together, I want to
make this worth the wait." The sincerity in Josh's voice seemed to
border on desperation to Matt.

"I can understand where you are coming from, but can you be happy
without the adrenaline rush of the campaign, the battle won? You can't
give up who you are for some one else no matter how much you love
them."

"Right. So where's the middle ground? Where's the line between putting
the greater good of the country before your own and becoming a
suburban house husband?" Matt burst out laughing. At Josh's perplexed
look, he took deep breaths to try and calm down before speaking.

"I'm sorry, just the image of you keeping house and having dinner
ready before the little woman comes home was just too hilarious to let
go. Not that there is anything wrong with that, it's just the last
thing I can imagine you doing. I can see you pumping gas, working road
construction, cleaning up after the animals in the zoo before I can
see you doing the house husband thing." Matt explained, still
chuckling. Josh tried to look offended, but smiled at the
ludicrousness of the idea after a few minutes.

"Ok, so that clearly is not an option for me. So what do I do?"

"I have an idea that may or may not hold water. I would really like to
ask Donna to join the campaign staff. That would solve your short-
term problem. If things go the way we would like and we end up in the
White House, we re-evaluate. Don't get me wrong, I want you on my
team, but if you were prefer to be more of a consultant than a senior
advisor we work with that. Sound good to you?" Matt laid out the plan
with more enthusiasm than he'd addressed many of his favorite campaign
issues.

"Sounds like I'm not the only one who's been thinking about this."
Josh commented, his surprise evident on his face. Matt laughed
briefly.

"Helen has been thinking about this and forced me to be thinking about
it. She wants Donna on her team if we get to the point that she can
have a team of her own. She knows that Donna is worried about the
stress you are under running this campaign. So she put a bug in my ear
to make this work for both of you."

"I appreciate that. We'll talk about it, figure things out. Hey, what
time is it?"

"About ten minutes till Larry King. Should we call the ladies to let them know?"

"No need, we're here and we brought snacks." Helen announced as she,
Donna and Sylvia entered the room loaded down with bags of snack sized
bags of chips, popcorn, bottles of soda and the salad Donna had
promised Josh. He wrinkled his nose at the salad, but a sideways
glance from Donna and he opened it and began stabbing at it with the
fork she provided.

"Hey, do I get any dressing with these weeds?" He asked a bit sullenly.

"Sorry, they didn't have any light dressing. I did throw a few
croutons on for you, though." Donna answered with a trace of laughter
in her voice. The rest of the room struggled to keep their laughter
under wraps.

"Wow, how ever will I restrain my excitement about three pieces of
stale bread." Josh responded sarcastically.

"Joshua, this girl is trying to keep you healthy, despite your best
efforts to the contrary. Eat your salad and shut up!" His mother
ordered as she opened a bag of Doritos and crunched noisily on a chip.

"Everyone, be quiet. I don't want to miss a minute of this." Helen
shushed them, as she turned the television on and changing the
channel. The room quieted as they watched the opening credits of Larry
King. The camera flashed to Leo, Amy, Danny Concannon and Will. Matt
and Helen hissed when Will's face came on their screen and Donna threw
a few kernels of popcorn at the TV.

"Good evening. Tonight we are discussing allegations of impropriety
between Matthew Santos' campaign manager, Josh Lyman and former aide
to Vice President Robert Russell, Donna Moss. From the Vice
President's office, campaign manager Will Bailey. Also joining us are
Former Bartlett Chief of Staff Leo McGarry, NOW lobbyist Amy Gardner
and Washington Post White House reporter, Danny Concannon. Good
evening, everyone and thank you for joining us. Mr. Bailey, I'd like
to start with you. These are pretty serious allegations you have made,
some might call them slanderous allegations."

"THANK YOU!" Donna shouted at the television from her perch on Josh's
bed. Josh threw a crouton at her to shush her. The camera turned to
Will and the room was again filled with boos and hisses.

"Yes, they are serious allegations and we took them very seriously
when it became clear that Ms. Moss and Mr. Lyman were having an
affair." Will spoke seriously, a carefully rehearsed frown on his
face.

"What evidence do you have of an affair?" Leo charged from off camera,
his voice already filled with barely controlled rage.

"Mr. McGarry asks an important question. What proof do you have of an
affair?" Larry King echoed.

"I personally escorted Mr. Lyman to romance Ms. Moss on the occasion
of President Bartlett's second inauguration." Will began. Donna
laughed out loud at that comment as on the television Danny snorted.

"If throwing snowballs at someone's window is a gesture of romance, I
know a lot of third graders involved in affairs they had no idea they
were in." Danny noted sarcastically.

"Danny, you know what Mr. Bailey is talking about?" the host questioned.

"I also happened to be on the free Donnatella adventure. Josh herded
up several of the men around the Bartlett senior staff to convince Ms.
Moss to come to the Inaugural balls. We threw some snowballs at her
window, they bickered a little, we took her back in the cab- in which
she rode on my lap, not Josh's, and we had a few drinks at the ball. I
think they may have waltzed together once, but there was nothing
inappropriate about their actions. Josh was helping out his assistant
who happens to be one of his best friends." Danny explained
dismissively.

"You sat on Danny's lap?" Josh squeaked. Donna gave him a look that
said "You are an idiot" and turned her attention back to the
television. The others in the room exchanged amused glances.

"Do you fly across the ocean to sit by the bedside of your friend when
the country is under attack by terrorists?" Will challenged.

"Mr. McGarry, do you have an answer for that?"

"As Danny stated, Josh and Donna were best friends. Were they in love
with each other, I absolutely believe so. Were they aware of it? I
don't know. Did they act on it prior to Josh's recent health scare, I
am absolutely sure they did not." Leo answered authoritatively.

"How can you be so sure?" Larry asked as Will snorted at Leo's answer.

"Because we have witnesses inside and outside of the White House to
their completely platonic relationship. In all of the instances Mr.
Bailey has raised as proof, we have very credible people who can
dispute the claims. In Germany, we have the man that Donna was dating
briefly. Danny has just explained the second Inaugural. I believe
there is some claim about a hotel room in Iowa. We have a hotel clerk
who remembers Ms. Moss being quite frantic to change her room because
it was across the hall from Mr. Lyman's and she was uncomfortable with
that. I don't believe that was the action of a woman carrying on an
affair." Leo ticked off his evidence with a cool logic that was belied
by the fire in his steel blue eyes.

"That could have been a lover's spat. It doesn't prove anything." Will argued.

"Donna Moss turned her resignation into CJ Cregg, not Josh Lyman. Josh
didn't know that she was quitting until her two- week notice was
almost over. That certainly isn't the behavior of two people having an
illicit affair." Leo continued as if Will had not spoken.

"Ms. Gardner, have you ever seen proof of an illicit affair between
Mr. Lyman and Ms. Moss?"

"No. I have seen two people doing everything humanly possible to avoid
having an illicit affair. As Leo and Danny have both admitted, I don't
think anyone who knows these two even a little bit thinks that their
feelings are completely platonic. However, they went to great lengths
to avoid admitting their feelings to anyone, much less each other."

"Didn't you date Mr. Lyman for some time in 2002?" The interviewer
turned to Amy. Amy smirked at the camera before answering.

"Yes. Josh and I dated for several months in 2002 and in late 2003."
Donna turned and glared at Josh.

"What?" He asked defensively.

"You know what." Donna snapped back.

"Really, I don't. What's the problem? You know I dated Amy- twice and
you were fine with it on both occasions." Josh said, the squeakiness
back in his voice.

"She really, really wasn't." Helen commented dryly. Josh stared at her in shock.

"You didn't even know Donna then, how do you know that?"

"Joshua, everyone who had eyes knew it. Amy knew it and she mentioned
it to me once. His secretary hated her because she was jealous. Of
course this was before I knew Donna, so I thought it was some twenty
year old bimbo who flirted her way into the White House." Helen
answered.

"Well that's exactly the perception we want to get out. Remind me
again why we asked her to be on this show?" Josh cracked and was met
with stony glares from the women in the room.

"Because if you were sleeping with her, you wouldn't also be sleeping
with me, you idiot!" Donna snapped and smacked him on the arm for
emphasis.

"Can I remind you that I am lying in a hospital bed here? Do you have
no common decency?" Josh teased. Donna rolled her eyes and snuggled
back against his chest.

"Be quiet all of you. He's asking Will what would have been the
problem if you had been having an affair. I hope Sam is taping this,
we may need his quotes for that slander suit Donna mentioned." Sylvia
hushed them.

"Larry, the affair itself wouldn't be a problem. Ms. Moss and Mr.
Lyman are both consenting adults. It isn't anyone's business what they
do on their own time. However, we have reason to believe that Ms. Moss
was giving the Santos campaign sensitive campaign information." Will
accused, his face again wrinkled in the rehearsed "serious" frown.

"Like what?" Leo challenged from across the table. Will looked to
Larry, clearly hoping he would admonish Leo for speaking out of turn.
Larry leaned closer, waiting with expectation for Will's response.

"It is sensitive information that we do not wish to disclose at this
time. Needless to say, we are quite certain it was leaked by Ms.
Moss." Will's bravado was fading quickly and his hands were fidgeting
with a pen on the table nervously.

"You have to admit it is a little suspect when they have no proof of
any wrongdoing by either Ms. Moss or Mr. Lyman that they can share.
Sounds more like Mr. Bailey has his nose out of joint because Donna
decided to be with Josh while he was ill. She put herself first and
that does not tend to sit well with politicians, myself included. I
will be honest in telling you that there wasn't a day that went by
that I didn't say a few prayers that those two would keep away from
each other until we were out of office. I regret that now. I think the
American public can understand that these two people met through work
and fell in love. It is a mutual feeling, neither will come out later
claiming sexual harassment. They fought their feelings for nine years,
through gunshot wounds, ethics hearings they both had to testify at
before Congress censured the President, the kidnapping of the
president's daughter and Donna being nearly killed while on a fact
finding trip to the Middle East. Only now when they faced yet another
health scare, have they begun to explore their feelings. For the life
of me, I cannot figure out why this should be a problem for anyone."
Leo was passionate in his defense. Josh beamed at the implicit
approval he was receiving from the man he looked at as his father.

"That will be our final thought for this evening. Thank you to all of
my guests. We'll be back with Aaron Brown and a preview of what's
coming up on News Night." Helen stood up and turned the television
off.

"I think that went well. I can't wait to see the editorials coming in
the next few days." Matt said with glee.

"I'm sure someone will take the Vice President's side, but I will
agree this was about as good as we could have hoped for. Thank you for
arranging it all." Josh spoke sincerely to Helen.

"It was the White House that did most of the work. You were both well
loved and missed there." Helen responded as she stood up, turning to
her husband. "Darling, we should get back. I'd like to call and check
on the kids at my mom's before they go to bed." Matt nodded and stood
to follow her.

"Josh, call me after you've made a decision." He said as they left the
room. Josh nodded silently. Sylvia stood and stretched her arms a bit.

"I think I'll head out as well. I'm pretty exhausted. Josh, do you
happen to have clean sheets at home?" She asked doubtfully.

"I think so. Is the press still staked out all over? You might have an
easier time at a hotel." Josh suggested. Sylvia waved him off with a
smile.

"I've got the US Secret Service to help me get home. I want to make
sure the townhouse isn't so disgusting that Donna takes one look at it
and runs away."

"Ok, then good night Mom. We'll see you tomorrow." Josh called as
Sylvia left his room. He turned expectantly to Donna. "Are you next?"

"Sorry pal, you are stuck with me. I'm kind of thinking about staying
at your side forever." Donna teased and burrowed her head into his
neck. Josh leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Thank God." He whispered.



Title: Heart Condition Chapter Eleven (Conclusion)

Rating: Teen

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the West Wing characters etc. Just
trying to play a little, so please don't sue! Sylvia Lyman is a little
bit mine, but mostly her own...

Author's Note: I apologize for the delay, but the muse seemed to
vanish in the midst of school starting, parents and in-laws visiting
and children's birthdays. Hopefully the conclusion will be worth the
wait! I'd like to give credit for the red light cameras bit to whoever
it was that mentioned it in their feedback from chapter two.
Unfortunately, I can't find that feedback in my inbox. So thank you to
whoever you are!
Chapter Eleven

Donna awoke as the early morning light began streaming into the room.
She shifted carefully off Josh's hospital bed in hopes of letting him
sleep a bit longer. Her efforts were in vain.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Josh croaked sleepily, one eye
creeping open.

"Just needed to stretch a little. That bed isn't exactly made for
two." Donna commented as she tried to ease some of the kinks out of
her body.

"You didn't have to stay all night. The nurse would have let you sleep
in that family room again, I'm sure."

"Says the man who not thirty seconds ago questioned me getting out of
bed." Donna quipped, while studiously avoiding his eyes. Josh reached
out to grab her hand and force her to look at him.

"Donna, I'm not going anywhere... well hopefully I'm getting out of
here, but I'm not going to disappear if you leave me alone. You don't
have to stay by my side every minute of the day." Josh's tone was
gentle, his eyes knowing. Donna sunk down into the chair next to his
bed, her eyes bright with tears.

"I know. Really I do know that. It's just..."she trailed off without
finishing the thought and stared at his heart monitor as if it would
give her the answers she suddenly felt she needed. Josh tugged gently
on her hand.

"Just what, Donna? Just that you want to know how much longer before
you're going to be back at my hospital bed again? Just that you don't
trust me to take better care of myself? What is it?" Donna shook her
head at each of his questions, but still couldn't bring herself to
answer him. "Donna, are you wondering whether this whole idea of you
and I was a mistake? I would understand if you are, I wouldn't like
it, but I would understand." The vulnerability in Josh's words finally
broke through the emotion that Donna had been holding back.

"It's just that things have been good here in this room with us. I'm
afraid that the minute we walk out of the hospital it's all going to
change."

"You prefer me tied to a bed?" Josh tried to lighten the mood with a
joke, but it fell flat as tears started streaming down Donna's face.

"Josh, three days ago we were hardly able to hold a conversation. It
was damn near unbearable to be in the same room. There were a lot of
reasons for that and I'm afraid that once the immediacy of you being
in that hospital bed has past, those reasons and feelings are going to
come back and destroy what we've started."

Donna was reassured somewhat by the silence that followed her words.
The fact that he was considering her concerns rather than immediately
denying them proved more to her about his feelings for her than a
hundred love sonnets would. After a few moments of contemplation, Josh
spoke gently.

"Everything you just said is true. I was angry and hurt when you left.
I felt abandoned. You broke my heart and I never expected it because
it had never occurred to me that you would ever leave me. That hurt
and anger and all of the other stuff isn't going to just magically go
away because we are together now. The difference is that we can talk
to each other honestly about what we're feeling, what we've been
through."

"But what if it's too much? What if we just can't get through all of
the garbage we've been through?"

"Donna, have you smiled much the last eight months? Because I have to
tell you, I haven't. I've paced, I've complained, I've fumed and I've
even yelled, but I haven't smiled a hell of a lot. Can't recall much
laughter either. And I can trace the last time I did much of either of
those to that Monday morning before you ... left. Until yesterday, that
is. Now I can't seem to quit smiling even when watching that jackass
Bailey say incredibly slanderous, heinous things about both of us. So
it seems to me that if I can smile my way through that because you are
in my arms, I might want to keep you around." Josh tugged gently at
her arm, trying to pull her back down into his embrace, but Donna
resisted.

"Josh, it's much easier in this room, surrounded by people who are
cheering us on to laugh about the things people are saying about us.
It's much different when somebody is saying those things to our face.
You are supposed to be avoiding stress. How are you going to do that
if somebody is saying ugly things about us in front of you?"

"Donna, do you honestly believe that I would be better off without
you? I've been doing that and so far it's not worked out so well for
me. One could even argue that being without you is what landed me in
this place to begin with." If hadn't been for the brokenness clear in
Josh's tone and expression, Donna would have gotten angry at his
accusation. The raw emotion in his eyes was enough to stop her cold.
Josh mistook her silence for indecision and continued pressing.

"Donna, I can't make you guarantees that everything will work out
perfectly. We've covered how ridiculously bad at this I am. But I love
you and I want the chance to be with you and prove that to you for as
long as I can." Josh tried again to pull her back into his arms. This
time, she came willingly, tears still streaming down her face.

"I'm scared. I can't even really put my finger on what it is that I'm
scared of, but I am. But I can't go back to life without you. I want
to take care of you, to love you for as long as I can. If that's two
weeks or fifty years, I'm where I need to be."

Donna crawled back up into bed with him and wrapped herself around
him. They laid in each other's arms for several moments before Josh
took a deep breath and brought up something that he'd been wanting to
discuss with Donna since the night before.

"The Congressman had an interesting proposition for me last night." He
began casually.

"Really? Did it have anything to do with me coming to work with you
after your designated three week period of rest?" Donna questioned
with an arched eyebrow. Josh's eyes bugged out a bit and he attempted
to sit up a bit to argue with her.

"I'm very certain that no one other than you has mentioned three whole
weeks in bed over this. We are not going back to the rules, are we?"
Josh attempted to pout, but Donna ignored him.

"We most certainly are. And there will be new rules added. No more red
meat for one. Fruits and vegetables of all colors will be part of all
meals- and French fries and potato chips do not count! I've got a call
into a nutritionist to help me plan all your meals and you'll be
meeting with a personal trainer with a specialty in cardiac rehab on
Monday morning."

"Do- NNNAA!" Josh whined. She turned to him with a wicked grin.

"I forgot the number one rule to my new plan. You are not allowed to
be in bed alone for any of the three weeks."

"That's going to get awkward when it's just me and my mom." Josh
teased. Donna elbowed him playfully. "Hey! Do I need to remind you
that I had cardiac surgery yesterday?"

"Have I mentioned you're an idiot this morning?" Donna growled back at him.

"Not yet, but it's early. You have plenty of time to get it in. So...
what do you think of the Congressman's plan?"

"Well, seeing that I don't have a job, and I'm generally in favor of
being employed, it sounds pretty good. Being able to keep an eye on
you is certainly a bonus, though if I'm working with Helen and you are
with the Congressman that's going to be difficult once we win the
nomination."

"Actually, Helen made Matt promise that they wouldn't do campaign
swings that kept their family apart for more than 2 days. It was the
only way she was willing to get on board with the whole idea." Josh
offered quickly.

"I knew I liked her. What happens when you get him elected? I'd like
to think I'm more understanding than Jenny McGarry was, but I don't
relish the idea of putting our whole life on hold for four to eight
years while you are Chief of Staff."

"It's a pretty big assumption that we'll get elected." Josh stalled,
but Donna gave him a pointed glance. "If and when that happens, Matt
and I will have another conversation, which will probably be preceded
by about fifty conversations between you and I, Matt and Helen and you
and Helen. I haven't agreed to anything at this point." He finished
defensively.

"Ok." Donna replied and snuggled back into his arms. Josh stared at
her in surprise.

"Ok? After all of that, you're saying ok? No more discussion needed?"
His voice squeaked a little in surprise causing Donna to giggle.

"Oh, I missed the squeaky voice. But in answer to your question, yes,
I'm saying ok. I don't expect you to do whatever I tell you to -
professionally that is, but I do expect to be in the conversation
regarding these decisions."

"That will not be a problem." Josh promised. "So we're in this thing
for the long haul? Team Lyman-Moss?"

"Or Team Moss-Lyman, but yes, we are in this thing, as you so
romantically phrased it, for the long haul." Donna responded and
leaned up to kiss his cheek softly.

"Lyman- Moss is alphabetical." Josh pointed out. Donna rolled her eyes
at him and elbowed him sharply. "Again with the abuse? Am I going to
have to call a nurse?" Josh asked with a wounded puppy dog look.

"Oh stop it, you really are a big baby!" Donna admonished. Josh
reached over to tickle her and she squirmed. "Hey! You're going to get
hurt here!" Donna whined. They were interrupted by the sound of
someone clearing their throat at the door. The couple looked up to see
Matt and Helen Santos smiling at them. Helen held a manilla file in
her hands.

"Hi. We just wanted to stop by before you were released to give you a
copy of Danny's column in the Post. He sent over an advance copy for
you. I think you might like it." She said, stepping forward and
handing the file to Donna.

"We've got some agents waiting to help you both get out of the
hospital and into Josh's apartment whenever you are ready to go home."
Matt added. Josh attempted to sit up a little straighter, but Donna
was still snuggled into his chest. "Stay where you are, Josh. When you
have a woman that beautiful laying next to you, you should keep them
there as long as humanly possible." At his wife's pointed glare, he
added "And I should know seeing that I sleep next to the world's
beautiful woman every night."

"Nice save, Congressman." Josh smiled widely at his new friend and candidate.

"You could learn a few things, Lyman." Donna teased Josh.

"I couldn't agree more. So, have the two of you had a chance to
discuss your plans after you leave the hospital?" Matt asked with
blatant concern in his eyes. Helen admonished him with a glance to let
the couple come to their own conclusions without his pressure.

"We were just discussing that, Congressman. If the offer is still
available, I would very much like to join the Santos campaign. It's
going to be a little difficult though with all the press Josh and I
have gotten to keep me joining the campaign from becoming the story."

"Between the run of columns pretty well castigating the Russell
campaign for launching baseless accusations at you and the time off
you'll have during Josh's recovery, I don't think it will be a story
beyond the first day." Matt responded.

"There were others outside of Danny coming to our defense?" Josh asked
in surprise.

"We're saving the clips for you. I'll have Ned or Ronna drop them off
tomorrow. Your mother mentioned something about it being against the
rules for you to have any newspapers or magazines available to you
during your recovery. There was also something about talking to the
cable company about temporarily canceling your news stations, but I
didn't quite follow. She said Donna was in charge of it all." Helen
mentioned with amusement. Josh rolled his eyes at the mention of the
rules again and Donna laughed at his response.

"Joshua and his fellow White House employees had problems following
some really simple guidelines for his recovery after Rosslyn, so I had
to institute the rules to allow him to heal properly. I will email you
the approved visiting hours and topics for conversation when we get
settled in at Josh's place. Those who do not follow the rules are not
allowed any contact with the patient until he has been cleared to
return to work." She explained with a steeliness in her voice Matt
immediately knew not to fight.

"We certainly do not want to break the rules. We'll just get out of
your hair. The agents will be outside the door whenever you are ready
to go home." Helen nodded their goodbyes and steered her husband out
the door.

"This is going to be a long three weeks, isn't it?" Josh asked with a pout.

Epilogue

Two weeks into his Donna imposed three week bed rest, Josh's stir
craziness had driven his mother to book a red eye flight home to
Florida by the third night and made Donna contemplate turning to
tranquilizers- whether for him or her, she couldn't decide. She
started using the Santos campaign visits to run errands and get out of
the house for a few minutes. As predicted after a few days of media
buzz following the Larry King interviews, the excitement surrounding
Josh and Donna bottomed out, allowing her to leave the house without
being mobbed. The buzz had also managed to give the Santos campaign a
pretty major boost in the polls while exposing the lack of depth in
the Russell campaign.

Donna had stopped at her apartment to pick up her mail on her way home
from getting groceries and was thumbing through it as she walked into
Josh's townhouse. An official looking envelope from the District of
Columbia caught her eye. Praying it wasn't a summons to jury duty, she
ripped it open. Her jaw dropped to see a grainy black and white photo
of herself running a red light. The enclosed ticket dated the
infraction as the day Josh went into the hospital.

"Joshua! You owe me a hundred bucks!" She yelled as she entered his
bedroom, still staring at the ticket with chagrin. Josh and Bram, a
new campaign staffer who was acting as a liaison between the campaign
and Josh during his time off, looked up in confusion. A smirk played
at the edges of Josh's mouth, but he did his best to restrain it. The
tone of Donna's voice told him to tread carefully on this one.

"Hello, my love. How was your afternoon?" He asked cheerfully. Donna
thrust her ticket and the accompanying photo into his hands. Josh
stared at the documents in confusion. "What is this?"

"That is a ticket for running a red light at the intersection of H
Street and 18th Street. I'm sure you've noticed the date- April 10th-
the day that you were rushed to the hospital. So it stands to reason
that you... what?" Donna broke off her rant when she glanced over and
noticed the tears that were forming in Josh's eyes.

"You....you ran a red light for me." He choked out after a few minutes.

"I told you I would." Donna answered flippantly. Sensing the emotion
in the room was building, Bram excused himself with a nod and headed
back to campaign headquarters.

"But... that was years ago. I didn't think... I just...we weren't even
talking much then and you still didn't stop for red lights." Donna was
moved by Josh's emotional reaction and softened her tone.

"I told you I wouldn't back then because I was in love with you. That
never changed, even when things were at their worst. Even though I
knew it could have been the stupidest thing I'd ever done, I had to
get to you, to be with you as quickly as possible. No silly traffic
light was going to hold me up when you could have been really hurt...
or... or worse." It was Donna's turn to fight back tears as the emotions
of that day came rushing back. Josh reached out for her and she fell
into his arms.

"I don't deserve you, Donnatella Moss. I know that now more than ever.
But I do love you." He whispered hoarsely.

"I know. That's why you are going to be paying my ticket." Donna
teased back, but softened the impact with a light kiss. Josh smiled
back at her and pulled her in for another kiss.

The End