Title: I'm Not That Girl 1/1
Summary: `Don't remember that rush of joy. He could be that boy. I'm
not that girl" - Idina Menzel "Wicked"
Disclaimers: Don't own anything
Author's Notes: The title comes from a song called `I'm Not that
Girl' which is from the musical "Wicked"
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I probably knew from the beginning I was never going to be that girl.

I mean, how could I not? The way he looked at her.

The way he smiled at her.

Sigh. I knew he could never end up with me. They're more alike
anyway. She understands him. She challenges him, and if anyone in the
world needs to be challenged every once in a while, it's Josh.

I was kind of shocked when I received the invitation to their
wedding. I ripped it into pieces when I realized it was from him. I
didn't need to read who he was marring. I knew.

That didn't excuse, though, my hearts also ripping into pieces.

I haven't talked to him in years. We met once, but it was awkward and
neither of us knew what to say or do. We realized we couldn't just
simply go back to the way things were. Things changed, and so, I
noticed that night, did we.

I saw a picture of him on the internet. He looks so good. So well
rested and so excited to be doing his job. I don't think he was never
that excited when he was with me. But I saw her next to him and I
knew. She was taking good care of him. Just like I knew she would.

She always took could care of him.

And I always knew I was never going to be that girl. That girl who
would grow old with him and have his children. We...

Well, we could never do it. Besides, he never looked at me like I was
his entire world. He wouldn't do half the things he did for her with
me. I always knew, yet I hoped that one day he would turn to me and
say he wants me. Not her. But he never did. Because I'm not that
girl.

I'm not her. And there is no way I could ever be her. With her smile
and her figure and her wit. It's no wonder why he fell. I just wish I
could meet a guy like that. A guy who would do anything to make me
happy. But then again I will never met a guy like Josh Lyman.

And I'm never going to be like Donna Moss.

That's because I, Amy Gardner, am never going to be that girl.