Fandom: The West Wing
Title: Like Cary Grant
Rated: PG-13
Characters: Josh/Donna, Danny C.
Notes: This is actually a sidestep from something else I was gonna
write. I might still write that, but for now, this will stand alone
nicely. Spoilers through current place in Season 6.

You can read the prequel, which I wrote AFTER writing this, A Little
Bit of Creme Puffitude before or after having read this. Doesn't
matter.

[ like cary grant ]
by kHo

"You know what you gotta do," Danny had said. "You gotta do it old
school." Josh hadn't known what he'd been talking about, standing
there on the floor of the Democratic Convention Center, watching the
party surrounding him that shoulda been his to own. "Old school,"
Danny had repeated, grinning widely. "Like the Inauguration, Josh.
Snowballs at her windows, neighbors yelling at you to shut the fuck
up. You know... that Cary Grant stuff. Howling at the moon."

But she was in a thirty story hotel on the fifteenth floor, and it
wasn't snowing anywhere in this hemisphere, so instead he'd knocked on
her door at well past midnight and almost turned and bolted when he
heard her telling whoever was on the other side of her door to keep
their pants on. He'd frozen to the spot when she'd opened the door,
and he raised his eyebrows at the beginning of a sentence that
wouldn't start.

"Josh," Donna said, her voice questioning. "Did you... are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said, casting a glance over his shoulder to where Danny
stood at the end of the hallway. "I just... Danny's down there, I should
tell you that."

Donna leaned out into the hallway, spying Danny trying to blend into
the wall and smiling slightly, waving at him. He'd smiled, nodded, and
waved, looking chagrinned. "What are you doing here Danny?"

"Moral support," Danny said, shrugging.

She frowned and looked at Josh. "Moral support for who?"

Danny looked at her as if to scold her and pointed to Josh. "For my
man over there in front of your door. I'm the bad cop."

She looked back at Josh, who was either smiling at her, or trying not
to puke. "Okay," she said, crossing her arms and looking at him.
"What's up Josh?"

"I won," he said, clearing his throat and looking at Danny. "Santos,
he won. I've spent the past 9 months working up to this day, working
every second of every day for this day, and it's here, and I've won."

Donna rolled her eyes. "And you're here to gloat?" She looked over at
Danny. "For this you give him moral support?"

Danny remained silent and she looked back at Josh. "Every second of
every day and I won. So you'd think I'd be happy, wouldn't you?"

She frowned, leaning against the doorway. "You're not?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. I don't know what I'm feeling right
now. I really, honestly... I couldn't tell you."

She took a deep breath. "Well, then, why don't you figure it out and
tell me in the morning?"

"Because in the morning I'll be sober, and in the morning I won't say
it," Josh said, reaching out and holding his hand against her door,
despite the fact that she hadn't been shutting it yet. "In the morning
I won't have the guts to do this."

She sighed, resting her head against the door. "I was in the middle of
a nice warm fuzzy dream, Josh... could you just spit it out?" Josh cast
a glance at Danny and Donna watched as Danny hooked him a thumbs up
and an encouraging nod. She frowned at him and turned back to Josh.
"What the hell is this, Josh?"

"I'm standing there on the floor, and they've announced Santos as the
Democratic Nominee and all of these people are around me applauding.
They're standing around me and kissing me on the cheek and thumping me
on the back, and I'm pretty sure Matt threw me up in the air..." He
paused and scratched at the back of his neck. "Yeah, I think he
actually, literally, threw me up in the air."

Donna found herself smiling softly. "He did. I saw him."

Josh nodded, his eyes brightening even more. "You did? See, so yeah. I
should have been happy. This is what I've been working on. I've lost
just about everything in the process of working on it, and most of it
might have maybe even been worth it," he said, talking fast, his hands
moving with every syllable. "And maybe not worth it, maybe not
completely, but... I got a good man nominated, and he's running against
another good man so... most things are right in the world of politics
tonight, Donna."

Donna nodded. "Okay."

Josh nodded, taking a deep breath and suddenly seemed to run out of
steam. He looked at Danny and shook his head. "I can't," he hissed,
looking shamefully back at Donna. "I just can't--"

"Cary Grant, Josh," Danny called softly. "Snowballs."

Donna shot Danny a crazy 'what the hell' look, but before she could
voice it, Josh took another deep breath and plunged on. "I wasn't
happy. I wasn't happy at all. I felt empty."

Looking at him she sighed. "Well, I'm sorry, Josh. But what am I supposed to--"

"You weren't by my side. I couldn't get past that. The whole time it's
happening, the thumps on the back and the cheers and the everything
else..." Josh paused, shaking his head and spreading his arms. "It's all
drowned out by the fact that you're not there."

She felt her breath catch in her throat but she blinked past it. "I
was there. I was on the floor when it happened."

He shook his head. "Not by me. Not with me. You weren't there with me,
Donna. You're supposed to be there. You have to be there."

She looked into his eyes and was surprised to find tears glistening
back at her. "Josh, what are you--"

"I've known for a long time that you meant more to me than I was
admitting to myself," he said, his voice so low she could barely hear
it. "I knew for a long time I was maybe half in love with you. It was
before Jack Reese, but after Jack I had to admit it to myself." He
paused, looking down at the floor, his fingers twisting nervously
together. "And I'm afraid I wound up pushing you away, because I
couldn't have you."

Her eyes flicked past him to Danny once again, watching Danny stare at
the carpet and grinning from ear to ear. "Josh--"

"Please," Josh said, laughing lightly and closing his eyes. "Please
let me just say it. You don't have to say anything, Donna. You don't
have to say anything at all, just let me say it."

She nodded, and when he didn't continue she sighed. "Say it, Josh."

"I loved you," he said, blinking as a tear fell down his cheek. "I
loved you, and I couldn't have you, and it was excruciating. So I
pushed you away. Except I didn't know that not having you near me
would hurt so much worse than having you around me and not being able
to touch you."

She blinked up at him and was surprised to find that she wasn't
crying. She'd have thought that when the day came that Josh professed
his love to her, she'd be a basket case. She blinked and she didn't
feel even close to tears. "You loved me?"

He nodded, reaching up and wiping quickly at his tears, blinking
rapidly. "Yeah." He nodded, finally looking at her. "And I still do.
And this is killing me, you not being there. And I know there are
things I've done that I have to make up to you, and things that can't
be made up at all. But you've gotta let me try, Donna. You've gotta
come back to me and let me try to win you back. You have to give me
another shot."

She nodded. "Why?"

He blinked at her, clearly taken back. "What?"

"Why," she repeated, staring at him unwaveringly. "Why do I have to do that?"

He looked over at Danny but she didn't bother, because she already
knew Danny's grin had fallen. "I don't... Donna, did you hear me? I love
you."

She laughed. "And that fixes everything?"

He shook his head. "No, Donna, but..." He took a step back, looking at
her in a way that made it hard for her to breathe. "I love you. It's
gotta count for something."

"It counts for too little too late," she said, smiling and nodding
resolutely. "Goodnight, Josh."

"I'm an idiot," he said as she was closing her door. "I'm an
unbelievable ass. I'm stupid and moronic and blind. Please, Donna. I
never meant to hurt you, I never meant to hold you back!"

She shut the door anyway, even as she felt her resolve starting to
shatter and the tears well up in her eyes.

"Donna please! Let me explain, just let me... let me prove to you that I
can love you the way you should be!"

She shoved the door into the locked position and slid the chain lock
into place before she sank to the floor and began to sob in silence.

"Donna..."

Danny's hand was feather light on his back and Josh didn't turn his
head to look at him. "Come on," Danny whispered, tightening his
fingers on Josh's shoulder. "Give her some time."

Josh looked at him, the tears falling down his face unknown to him.
"But I did it. I told her. Like you said, Danny. I told her like you
said."

Danny smiled softly at him and wrapped his arm around Josh's shoulders
tightly. "Come on. Let's go drown our collective sorrows in more
beer."

"I was Cary Grant," Josh said, his voice full of wonder as he stared
blindly in front of him.

"Maybe tonight you're Humphrey Bogart, Josh," Danny said softly.

Josh looked at him. "But she goes with the other guy at the end,
Danny. Donna can't go with the other guy, she has to go with me."

"But this isn't the movies, Josh. You can't just come up to some
girl's hotel room and make a grand sweeping gesture and think
everything's okay."

Danny's arm dropped from Josh's shoulder as they turned to face Donna,
standing in her flannel pajamas in the middle of the hallway, tears
streaking her face.

"You can't just come up to my room and take five minutes to erase
seven years of pain, Josh, you just can't."

Josh shook his head, stepping forward. "I wasn't trying to. I was just..."

"I know," Donna said, smiling. "Taking the first step."

Josh nodded, stepping closer. "I didn't think I was gonna erase
anything. I just wanted to make a gesture."

Donna stepped closer to Josh and rested her hands on his chest. "You love me?"

He nodded, stepping closer still and reaching up to grab her arms. "I do."

She bit her lip, looking up at him. "We're not okay yet."

He nodded. "I know."

She smiled and reached up to wipe the tears off his cheek. "We have a
lot of repair work, Josh."

He nodded, cupping her face in his hands. "I know."

Her smile widened as she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.
"We'll start tomorrow."

He nodded. "We will?"

She nodded. "Tonight you kiss me."

He swallowed, laughing quietly. "I do?"

She nodded again. "You better. Or that's just one more thing you have
to make up to me."

He grinned back at her and leaned forward, brushing his lips lightly
over hers. "I love you, Donna."

Neither of them noticed when Danny left.








NOTE: Yes. It's Cary. Not Carey Grant like I originally had. But Cary.
No e, Kelly. It's really hard to find out too, ya know. You have to
take one whole second to type it out and check it at the imdb.com.
LOL. I'm so damn lazy that I didn't do that. Oh well. Thanks to those
of you that pointed it out, 'tis fixed now.