Title: A Future Worth Living For 1
Author: Joanna Lyman
joanna_lyman@yahoo.co.uk
Spoilers: Santos Administration
Disclaimer: I don't own any West Wing characters. This is just for
fun, so don't sue, I don't really have that much money anyways.
Rating: PG-13(but there might be later chapters rated R for language)
Summary: (Because I suck at summaries, you get a quote every time,
until I run out of them.)
"Making the decision to have a child--It's momentous. It is to decide
forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." ~
Elizabeth Stone

*************

Josh entered the ante-room of his office with a coffee cup in his
hand. With the coffee cup that held the drink that he still had to get
himself. He grumbled about being the second powerful man in the
country and still not getting coffee from his assistant. Ginger looked
up and let out a groan.

"Oh, Josh, get over it," she said and then turned back to her computer.

"Tell me the truth, Donna incited you to refuse to bring me coffee,"
Josh demanded to know.

"I might have just been fed up with fetching coffee for Will," Ginger
said. "And I know you are capable of getting your own coffee, I have
seen you doing it for seven years."

"You'll bring me coffee if I don't have the time to get it myself?"
Josh asked her.

"Yes. And you'll bring me coffee if you have the time and you are
getting yourself a cup?" Ginger asked back.

"Sure," Josh answered with a smirk and then stepped into his office.
"And Ginger?" he shouted.

"Yes, boss?" Ginger shouted back.

"I really would like to know if there was someone in my office waiting
for me," Josh said in a mockingly polite tone.

"Yeah, Annabeth wanted to talk to you. You have ten minutes until your
next briefing. I really wanted to tell you, Josh, but..."

"I know, I distracted you with the coffee-talk," Josh said. "It's okay."

"It won't happen again," Ginger promised, and Josh closed the door.

"What can I do for you on this lovely morning, Annabeth?" Josh asked
jovially.

"You have ten minutes for me, so I won't beat around the bush. I'm
pregnant and I need your help."

"Oh," Josh said, sitting down behind his desk but then he stood up
again and sat down next to Annabeth on his couch. "How far are you?"

"Around thirteen weeks," Annabeth said.

"Okay, so it's safe to assume that you got pregnant while on the
campaign trail," Josh said, doing the math quickly in his head.

"Yeah," Annabeth said with a nod. "It happened on November 1st."

"They can pinpoint it that precisely?" Josh asked perplexed.

"Well, not that I know of. I just know when it happened because it was
a one time thing."

"You had sex without contraceptives with a one night stand?" Josh
asked back, sounding a bit harsher than he intended to.

"Well, for starters I didn't have sex without contraceptives, I was on
the pill and we were both clean. I just threw up the night before, and
the pill didn't work. And it was a one time thing, Josh, but it
definitely wasn't a one night stand," Annabeth said coolly.

"I don't understand," Josh said then, shaking his head.

"Well, we had a romantic relationship but he died five days later,"
Annabeth said in a whisper, a tear sliding down her face.

"Leo?" Josh shrieked but then came to his senses. "You are pregnant
with Leo's baby?" he asked then in a whisper.

"Why do you think did I come to you and not to Donna?" Annabeth asked.

"I didn't know that you and Leo were..."

"That we were involved?" Annabeth asked him.

"Yeah, I didn't know that," Josh admitted.

"It's okay, we weren't stealthy or secretive or something, but we
didn't exactly broadcast it. There were actually a few people who
knew," Annabeth said.

"Really? Who exactly?"

"Donna, Mrs. Santos and I think Lou too," Annabeth listed the names.

"You said you needed my help?" Josh asked, after taking several deep
breaths to calm down.

"Yeah, I would like to talk to Mallory about it, and..."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Josh interrupted her.

"Josh, they'll notice that I'm pregnant. They will add two and two
together; I don't want Mallory to learn it from the rags. I would like
you to set up a meeting with her. I know it might be too much to ask,
but you and her go way back, and I really need to talk to her about
the baby," Annabeth implored.

"Okay, I'll see what I can do, but I can't promise anything,
Annabeth," Josh said honestly.

"That's enough for me," the Press Secretary said and then stood to
leave his office. "I'll talk to Donna this afternoon, so you are free
to talk to her about it."

"I..."

"Josh, you need someone to share the burden with, plus she can give
you a fresh perspective. It's not just about me; it's about other
stuff too. I don't want to suggest you talk about matters of national
security to her, but the everyday fights and wins; you should share
that with her."

Josh got home a little earlier than he planned due to the fact that
the First Lady `kidnapped' the President by simply saying: "Matthew,
we need to talk about Peter." Josh was witness of how that one
sentence turned President Santos, leader of the free world into Matt
Santos, father extraordinaire. He told Josh to postpone the last
meeting with Sam and practically ordered both Josh and Sam to go home.

All the way home in his town-car Josh was thinking about how kids
altered someone's life. He was just on the verge of picturing himself
with kids when the car arrived at his flat. Donna was already home but
Josh already knew that, courtesy of a Secret Service detail. He
entered his apartment, his mind still on Annabeth and her baby. He
took off his coat, toed off his shoes and went straight into his study
where he disposed his backpack. He was tempted to sit down and think
the `kids-thoughts' to end but then decided against it. He needed to
find Donna. He needed her so much. He actually held back his breath
until he found her, sitting in the bedroom, covered up up to her chin,
nursing a cup of hot liquid (probably tea), her cheeks rosy, her eyes
glistening (probably with fever).

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked her, hurrying to her, pressing his palm
against her forehead. She leaned into his touch and it felt nice,
however he couldn't help but notice that she felt like she was
burning. "Did you see a doctor?"

"I didn't feel this crappy until I got home," she said with an
apologetic smile.

"Okay, do you think you are up to a visit?" Josh asked her. "We should
get you dressed, and then I'll drive you to the hospital."

"No, Josh, it's really not that bad," Donna said.

"Yeah, believe it or not, it's bad. You are burning there, Donatella,
and I think you should see a doctor. Or rather a doctor should see you."

"I could take some pills and..." Donna hedged.

"Okay, don't go anywhere, I should be back in a few minutes," Josh
said. "I'll just..." he continued but then stopped. Yeah, he had a
detail now, there was no `just hopping in a car, driving to the local
pharmacy or CVS-store'; no, they wouldn't let him to do that.

"Yeah, they probably won't let you, but maybe you could ask someone..."
Donna said, reading his expression.

"Okay, I'll ask Mark, stay here," Josh said, and then rushed out of
the bedroom.

He asked Mark if he could go to the pharmacy but the agent said that
he really shouldn't. But he offered to help him, and fifteen minutes
later, Donna had several pills to choose from. She took something that
promised to bring down the fever. Josh was watching her carefully as
she was sipping at her chamomile tea.

"You know, I won't go and perform a spontaneous human combustion or
something like that," she quipped, but her voice sounded tired.

"Yeah, I do know that. You have to forgive me for worrying about you,"
Josh said, his light-hearted tone not entirely being able to conceal
his hurt.

"I'm sorry. It's just a cold, Josh, nothing to worry about," Donna
tried to reason with him, but he didn't want to listen.

"Okay, you pretend it's nothing, but could you humor me and let me
take care of you?" Josh said, looking into her eyes, putting all his
feelings into his gaze, trying to convey his feelings.

"Josh," Donna sighed but then nodded. "Okay, take care of me."

"Do you need something?" he asked eagerly.

"Well, it seems that I used up all my Kleenex so..."

Half an hour later, Josh was trying to sneak out of the bedroom
without waking Donna. He went into the kitchen to find something to
eat. He pulled out one of Donna's candles and lit it, then sat down at
the kitchen table to eat his turkey sandwich. He contemplated to
return to his study but then wasn't able to actually stand up and make
the fifteen steps that separated the kitchen and the home office. He
was just sitting there, gazing into the dancing flame of the single
candle, finally able to finish his thoughts on kids.

He came to the conclusion that it must be nice to have a kid or two
around. Not that he had a great many experience with kids. His contact
with the `short people'-as Toby used to call them before he became
father-was limited to brief encounters with Huck and Molly and Peter
and Miranda. Actually, the girls liked them. Both Miranda and Molly
thought that he was funny, and Josh liked being with them. But he
always felt a certain uneasiness around the boys. He didn't know why
and he had never really thought about it before. Perhaps because he
never made a conscious effort to befriend them, he mused. He just
relied on his charm when he interacted with the girls, knowing well
that he could win them over with a dimpled grin and silly jokes. Peter
and Huck were not that easily impressible.

He shook his head to clear his mind. There was something he had to ask
before he really started to think about having kids on his own. And
that question involved a ring. He pulled out his Blackberry and sent
Ginger an e-mail, instructing her to clear an hour on his schedule,
preferably in the next couple of days. Then he just felt tired and
decided to screw the files in his backpack, he just crawled into bed.
Pulling Donna close to him, he fell asleep pretty fast.

TBC



Title: A Future Worth Living For 2
Author: Joanna Lyman
Spoilers: Santos Administration
Disclaimer: I don't own any West Wing characters. This is just for
fun, so don't sue, I don't really have that much money anyways.
Rating: PG-13(but there might be later chapters rated R for language)
Summary: (Because I suck at summaries, you get a quote every time,
until I run out of them.)

"It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby is
born. This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important thing is
to keep your wits about you and borrow some money." ~ Elinor Goulding
Smith

******************

"Ginger!" Josh yelled for his assistant when he was done with Sam's memo.

"What do you want?" Ginger yelled back.

Josh noticed the strategy and padded to the door of his office. Ginger
was typing something. Well, since he had a secretary for the everyday
typing this must be something important, that Josh acknowledged.

"I won't use the intercom," he stated then.

"It's okay, I'm used to the bellowing," Ginger said, without even
looking up. "But I won't use the intercom either."

"It's okay, I'm used to the yelling back," Josh retorted.

"What did you want?" she asked, finally looking up.

"Did you clear an hour for me?"

"Next Tuesday, that was the closest," Ginger said apologetically.

"That not exactly fits the `in the next couple of days' requirement,"
Josh remarked.

"No, I guess it doesn't," Ginger answered absent-mindedly.

"It would be really important," Josh said, his tone bordering on whining.

"I guessed that much, considering that you sent the e-mail late at
night," Ginger said, typing away.

"Yeah. Nothing closer?"

"You are out of the building around 8 tonight, baring any emergency,
of course." Ginger looked up.

"I kinda need an hour in the nine-to-five time span," Josh said.

"Why?" Ginger asked, and Josh knew he made a strategic mistake.

"Never mind, just make sure that I have that hour next Tuesday," Josh
said, planning on a quick withdrawal.

"You want to go shopping?" Ginger asked him.

"Yeah," Josh gave in.

"Anything you need help with?" Ginger asked.

"I guess I could use the help, but we can't be out of office at the
same time, so you are not a candidate," Josh told her with a smirk,
Ginger's face fell. "Okay, I'm sorry. But it's also true. If I'm not
in the office you have to be here, Ginger. If you are away, I have to
be here."

"Why?"

"Because it's the Chief of Staff's office," Josh said. "And the office
comes equipped with a Chief of Staff and an assistant. In the coming
years, it's gonna be you and me."

"Okay, but try not to mess with your schedule when I'm not here,"
Ginger said resigned. "Should I ask Lou to accompany you on this
shopping spree?"

"You don't really know Lou, right?" Josh asked after he let out a snort.

"No, not really," Ginger admitted. "Oh, you need manly advice?"

"Lou could help me with that," Josh said with a wink. "Okay, that was
mean. But really, I need womanly advice."

"Maybe you should ask Donna," Ginger said.

"Yeah, where would the surprise be in that?" Josh murmured.

"You want to surprise Donna?" Ginger asked, perking up.

"Yeah, and I would be forever grateful if this conversation never made
its way to the East Wing," Josh warned her in a friendly manner.

"Okay, boss, my lips are sealed," Ginger promised.

"Yeah, well, I think I should ask Annabeth. And before I forget," Josh
started. "Clear half an hour for Annabeth once a week."

"Lunch?"

"I have lunch with Donna. Every day, in case you forgot," Josh said in
a slightly admonishing tone.

"Yeah, sorry. Okay, brunch?" Ginger asked, making Josh think. He
vaguely remembered that pregnant women tended to get what they called
`morning sickness', so maybe brunch wasn't the best idea.

"What's the thing in the afternoon?" he asked Ginger.

"What kind of thing?" she asked back perplexed.

"Oh, you know, if the thing after breakfast is called brunch, what's
the thing called in the afternoon?"

"I don't know, *linner*, maybe?" Ginger quipped with a grin.

"That was a good one," Josh said with a grin on his own. "Anyway, see
that I get half an hour off once a week in the afternoon, I'll call
Annabeth to see if it's okay for her to meet on that day."

"Is this some kind of project you'll be working on?"

"Yeah, it's a project kind of thing," Josh admitted and contemplated
to call Mallory then and there. But he still didn't know how to broach
the subject and he decided not to call her until he had some kind of
strategy, or really the beginning of a strategy.

"Oh, and Ginger, Donna won't be in today, so if you need my lunch
time, you can schedule something instead," he told before stepping
back into his office.

"What do you mean `not in'? I met her on my way to Sam's office,"
Ginger said.

"What?!" Josh shouted and crossed the room in three strides. He picked
up his phone and dialed the familiar extension.

"Donna Moss."

"What are you doing here?" Josh asked her.

"I work here, Joshua," Donna said.

"Don't get cute with me, Donatella," Josh warned her. "You are sick,
you should be at home; drinking your chamomile tea, wearing flannel
pajama pants and cute little tank tops."

"In case you didn't notice, I wear a Make-A-Wish T-Shirt," Donna told
him.

"Whatever, Donna. You are sick, you belong to bed," Josh insisted.

"Josh, really, I feel so much better today and I don't have fever and
I promise you I'll go home the moment I feel sick," Donna said.

"Okay, let me know, and Ollie can drive you home," Josh agreed.

"Sure. Are we on for lunch?" she asked then, and Josh could hear her
smile.

"You bet. You'll have some chicken broth, and I will have a chicken
salad," Josh said.

"Will you eat the salad too or just pick out the meat?" Donna asked
teasingly.

"If you eat the broth I will eat the green parts too," Josh promised
with a grin.

"That will be a sight to see, Joshua. See you later."

"See you later," Josh said and hung up.

Needless to say, Josh ate the greens in his salad too. After lunch
both of them returned to their work, Josh slightly relieved that Donna
didn't look so sick anymore. The President retired to the Residence at
six thirty, but Josh still had to stay, he had some sensitive material
to read that he couldn't take out of the building. He sent Ginger home
around seven, and he was just planning on leaving when Sam barreled
into his office.

"Lou is coming," he announced, still out of breath.

"What's wrong?" Josh asked, looking at his friend and deputy with
furrowed brows.

"A story is going to broke over night," Sam said. "But I don't know
more. I just finished a memo when Otto barged into my office and told
me to head over here."

"Hope it's really important, I kinda promised Donna a quiet evening
together," Josh said.

"How is it going?" Sam asked, sounding genuinely interested.

"It's great. We have some lingering issues, but we are working on it,"
Josh admitted.

"Ever thought of marriage?" Sam asked him in a quiet voice.

"As a matter of fact, I did. I'm going ring-shopping next Tuesday,"
Josh boasted a bit.

"Really? She said yes?" Sam asked.

"I haven't asked yet, Sam," Josh said.

"Josh, free advice, do talk about it before you go ring-shopping," Sam
said.

"I thought I would just pop the question, she would smile and kiss me,
then I would ask again just to be sure, and she would say yes."

"Yeah, that's how it works in romance novels and chick flicks, Josh,"
Sam said, his tone a bit admonishing. "With you and Donna, not so
much. Remember what you told me after you came back from your vacation?"

"Which part do you refer to?" Josh asked, sounding a bit defensive.

"No need to bring out the passive-aggressive for me, Josh. It's me,
Sam, I know you. You should talk to Donna before dashing off to
ring-shopping. You told me after coming back that you two promised
each other to talk about things, not wanting any misdirection or
miscommunication to stand in the way of your happiness."

"What about?"

"Excuse me?"

"What should we talk about?" Josh clarified.

"Marriage is a thing that kinda has a lot of issues riding on its
tailcoats," Sam said.

"Yeah."

"I mean kids, a house, college fund, life insurance. Future plans,
since this job won't be there in eight years," Sam listed. "A wedding,
for starters. I wouldn't shop for a ring unless you are clear about
those issues, both with yourself and with Donna."

"Okay," Josh said with a nod. "Thanks, Sam."

"No problem. I just hope that Lou appears soon, Anna is waiting for
me," Sam said.

"You called her?"

"Yeah, she is a real trooper," Sam said.

"Listen, Sam, I..."

"No need for that, Josh. It was my decision," Sam cut him off. "It's
service to the President, plus, I missed my best friends," he added
with a smile.

"We missed you too," Josh admitted, and then Lou stormed into his
office. She smashed a newspaper onto his desk, pointing at the picture
under the fold. `Playing House', it read above the pictures, and made
Josh shiver at the bad double entendre. It showed Josh and Donna
kissing on his stoop, and then it showed Sam and Anna doing pretty
much the same in front of Sam's brownstone. Josh didn't really need to
read the whole article; the title was a dead giveaway what he would
find. He read it nonetheless. The words were quickly burnt into his
mind; he looked over at Sam and nodded. Yeah, it was every bit the bad
thing they envisioned upon seeing the pictures.

"What's this?" Josh asked Lou, his voice dangerously quiet.

"It's a right-wing newspaper with a circulation of 2000, Josh.
Nevertheless, that's how it will look like tomorrow morning," Lou said.

"You got an advance copy?" Sam asked.

"Delivered to me personally," Lou said.

"I want you to call them, Lou, and tell them that..."

"Josh, there is nothing to threaten with," Lou said in a low voice.
"They don't need our cooperation, we cannot offer them anything."

"Okay then, get me the editor on the phone," Josh said.

"Josh, I don't think you..."

"And when he is done I'll to talk to him too," Sam joined them.

"Sam, Josh, I understand that you are upset but..."

"Lou, look at me! Do I look like upset?" Josh asked Lou, looking
straight into her eyes.

"No, you look like one of the Furies, but, you know, without the
snake-hair," Lou tried to lighten the mood. It was lame, but Josh
couldn't help but grin. "Josh, let me take care of this," Lou said.

"What are you planning to do?"

"Nothing," Lou said. "At least not tonight."

"I don't like this plan," Sam inserted.

"I'm no fan of my own plan either, Sam, but you know we can't fight
this," Lou said. "You are two successful men who have beautiful
girlfriends, fiances, whatever. There is nothing to be ashamed of.
I'll prep Lester tomorrow first thing in the morning. You two go home
and tell Donna and Anna."

Josh found himself deep in thoughts again. He surprised even himself,
because he wasn't thinking about those pictures; no, he was thinking
about Sam's words. Was he really ready to take on all the
responsibility that came with marriage? Did he want a house? The
answer was a tentative yes. He wanted one, just not right away. He
enjoyed his apartment with Donna there, it was cozy. A house would
maybe keep them apart, he reasoned. But he knew if Donna wanted it, he
would move into a house the second she uttered her wish. Because he
took nothing more seriously than making his beautiful girlfriend
happy. He smiled at that thought, and that's when he arrived at his
brownstone.

"Sir?" Ollie asked him.

"Give me a moment, Ollie," Josh asked his driver and then thought
about his future plans. What would he do once they are done in the
White House? One thing was sure, he wouldn't direct another
presidential campaign, he was done with campaigns altogether. Of
course, Donna might want to run a campaign (presidential or
otherwise), and then he would join her. If she wanted, of course.
Otherwise he would wait for her in their new house, taking care of
their kids. That he knew with hundred percent certainty. He wanted
kids. He realized that Sam was right. He needed to talk to Donna about
these things, simply because his plans depended on her plans, starting
with the fact that he couldn't have kids without her. He let out a
grin and then climbed out of the car.

TBC



Title: A Future Worth Living For 3
Author: Joanna Lyman
Spoilers: Santos Administration
Disclaimer: I don't own any West Wing characters. This is just for
fun, so don't sue, I don't really have that much money anyways.
Rating: PG-13(but there might be later chapters rated R for language)
Summary: (Because I suck at summaries, you get a quote every time,
until I run out of them.)

"A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on." - Carl Sandburg

*************

"I'm home!" he shouted when he stepped inside. Mark, the head of his
detail smirked at him, waiting for the usual reply.

"Me too!" Donna shouted back and walked out of bedroom to greet Josh
with a kiss. Mark closed the door. "Hi," she said after the kiss. "You
are late."

"Yeah, Lou intercepted me basically at the door," Josh said, and then
leaned in for another kiss.

"What happened?" Donna asked, following him into his study where he
disposed his backpack.

"This," Josh said, pulling a folded paper out of his pocket. It was a
photocopy of the article.

Donna stood there, reading the article. Josh watched her with
apprehension but he couldn't read her. Her face showed the same
emotion all the time, and Josh didn't know what to do. He desperately
wanted to pull her in a hug, but he wasn't sure what she needed. The
comfort or the chance to shout.

"What is Lou doing about it?" Donna asked then, surprising Josh
completely. She sounded to Josh's ears almost nonchalant. But that
couldn't be, could be, Josh asked himself.

"It's okay to be upset," he said, finally taking her into his arms,
but Donna shook her head and slid out of his embrace.

"I'm not upset," Donna said.

"You are right, I was furious myself," Josh said and waited for Donna
to say something in return.

"Why?" Donna asked, still looking down at the article. "Everything is
true what they write here."

"Yeah, I kinda figured," Josh remarked sarcastically. "Lou said we
shouldn't do anything about it. The hype will die on its own. We are
single, consenting adults."

"She is right."

"Why aren't you furious?" Josh asked then.

"Because nothing in here is a lie," Donna said, "and because there is
nothing I can do about it."

"I wanted to call the editor," Josh confessed.

"Don't do that," Donna said hastily.

"Well, I won't, especially not after seeing your reaction," Josh said,
his tone still dripping with sarcasm.

"Josh," Donna sighed.

"Donna, I'm outraged! And you know why? It might be true what they
write, but the way they wrote it! It makes me wanna scream, it makes
me wanna... Donna, they are painting us dirty. They are painting Sam and
Anna dirty!" Josh shouted.

"Calm down, please," Donna said.

"I would calm down, but every time I look at those pictures there is
this urge to punch that photographer who took the pictures and then
sold them to that right-wing rag."

"Josh," Donna said again, accompanying her soothing words with a
caress on his upper arm. "Calm down, please."

"I don't want to calm down," Josh seethed. "They are defiling what we
have."

"We knew that something like this would happen."

"I know," Josh said, letting out a heavy sigh. "It doesn't make it
easier to tolerate this crap."

"No, it doesn't," Donna agreed with a sad smile. "You ate?" she
changed the topic.

"You mean dinner?" Josh asked her, after letting out a final huff.

"Yeah, I mean dinner." She rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, Ginger brought me a sandwich," Josh said. "You hungry? We could
order Chinese."

"No, I had dinner with Annabeth."

"How is she?"

"You met her yesterday, Josh."

"Yeah, but she is pregnant," Josh retorted.

"Okay, pregnancy is not an illness. It's a condition," Donna told him.

"Is she okay?" Josh pressed on.

"Yeah," Donna gave in. "She said Ginger scheduled an appointment with
you once a week."

"Yeah, the pressure is growing, but I'd like to help her. I might not
have much time but I'd like her to know that I'm there for her," Josh
said.

"That's sweet of you," Donna said, giving him a kiss on the lips.

"I think that's what Leo would like me to do," Josh said.

"I'm sure Leo is very proud of you, Joshua," Donna said, giving him
another kiss. "You wanted to talk about something tonight?" she
changed the subject again.

"Yeah," Josh said. "I would like to shower first."

"You want me to wash your back?" Donna offered in a sultry voice that
sent a shiver down his spine.

"If you insist," he quipped with a grin.

After their `recreational' shower, as Josh dubbed it, they went into
the bedroom and slipped into bed. Josh pulled Donna closer, by
slipping an arm under her shoulders. He caressed her upper arm for a
while, feeling the stress of the day dissipate.

"I'd like to talk about our future," Josh said after Donna nudged him.

"Okay," Donna said hesitantly.

"I mean what are your future plans?" Josh asked, cringing inwardly
because he knew he was screwing this up.

"What are my future plans?" Donna echoed, sitting up.

"Yeah, because I was thinking about my future plans and I thought I
would like to know yours," Josh said.

"And what are your future plans, Josh?" Donna asked sweetly, making
Josh cringe again. He was definitely screwing up.

"I'd like to marry you and have a kid. Or two," he blurted out.

Donna sat there, ramrod straight, not even blinking. Josh took it as a
sign that he screwed this up and cussed.

"I'm sorry, Donna, I know it's not romantic at all, I just thought
that we should talk about it. I promise you I'll fix this, Ginger
already cleared an hour for me next Tuesday, and I'm going to buy a
ring and then we'll have a romantic dinner and I'll ask you to marry
me," Josh rambled nervously.

"You want to buy me a ring?" Donna asked him, finally finding her voice.

"I'd like to ask you to marry me," Josh said.

"Why, Josh?"

"Because it's the next step in our relationship," Josh said.

"Josh, six months ago we couldn't exchange simple pleasantries," Donna
threw in, confusing Josh.

"And yet three months ago we had incredible sex," he said with a grin,
but quickly wiped it off his face after noticing the glare Donna gave
him. "I love you, Donatella, and I think we should marry."

"But why? Is this because of the picture?" Donna asked suspiciously.

"Donna, no!" Josh protested vehemently. "I didn't even know about the
picture when I told Ginger to clear that hour for Tuesday. I
completely screwed this up."

"Well, some of it," Donna gave him a shaky smile. "But you were right;
we should talk about this before you buy a ring."

"You don't want to marry me?" Josh asked incredulously.

"Josh," Donna warned him. "We are talking about marriage. I didn't say
no, did I?"

"But you didn't say yes either, did you?" Josh retorted.

"You bring the passive-aggressive? This is me, Josh, I know you,"
Donna said.

"I'm on a roll," Josh murmured.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, Sam said the same to me today. Donna, would you marry me?"

"Yes, Josh, but I think we should definitely talk about things before
you go and buy a ring."

"You think I would change my mind after this conversation?" Josh asked
perplexed. "Because I won't, Donna. I love you and I need you in my
life forever."

That earned him a kiss, but before he could deepen it, Donna withdrew.

"We should talk," she said.

"Let's talk about kids," Josh said.

"Okay," Donna said. Did she sound resigned, Josh wondered.

"You don't need to sound so enthusiastic," the jab was out before he
thought about it.

"Okay," Donna said, her eyes mere slits, "I'll let that slip, Josh
because I actually think that you didn't want to say that."

"I didn't," Josh said ruefully. "And I'm really sorry."

"But you thought it, and I guess I have to be thankful for your honesty."

"I should have considered the delivery," Josh said.

"Yeah, you definitely should have," Donna agreed. "I should return the
courtesy with equal straightforwardness."

"Go on," Josh encouraged her.

"Are kids a deal-breaker?" Donna asked, and Josh couldn't suppress a
gasp. He didn't count on that, he thought they would haggle over the
number of kids, not over the mere existence of them.

"You don't want kids?" he asked, his tone conveying his hurt.

"Josh, answer the question, please," Donna urged him.

"What was it again?" he asked. Stalling, he diagnosed himself.

"You want to marry me even if I don't want kids?" Donna asked.

"I want to marry you because I love you and need you, but also because
I want kids with you," he said, realizing that only honesty could
release him from his predicament.

"I see. Well, then let's take a closer look at the possible
scenarios," Donna said, and Josh was reminded that the Donna in front
of him was not the Donna who he knew once. She not only matured but
also lost her innocence and some of her spontaneity.

He knew he lost the Donna he fell in love with, but then ―maybe to his
greatest surprise― he fell in love with her again. He was only
disappointed that Donna was able to treat the issue in that
businesslike manner; his old Donna would have never did that. Although
his old Donna was just as organized as the one sitting in front him,
so maybe him having the following conversation had always been charted
by Fate. He liked that thought. He liked that no matter what, no
matter which President they were meant to be together. He liked that a
lot. It restored some of his faith he lost along the way from the day
his sister died in that horrible fire. The thought made him content.
Well, almost content. Because when he met Donna's eyes, he saw her
discomfort. Hence the `almost'. Apparently his girlfriend was not
happy which meant that he had failed her somehow.

TBC



Title: A Future Worth Living For 4
Author: Joanna Lyman
Spoilers: Santos Administration
Disclaimer: I don't own any West Wing characters. This is just for
fun, so don't sue, I don't really have that much money anyways.
Rating: PG-13(but there might be later chapters rated R for language)
Summary: (Because I suck at summaries, you get a quote every time,
until I run out of them.)

"Small children disturb your sleep, big children your life." ~
Yiddish proverb

*************

"Scenarios?" he asked back once his mind was able to focus on the
conversation again.

"Yeah, Josh, I'm sure you are familiar with the term," Donna remark
sarcastically. "Take the pregnancy. I wouldn't want to do it all alone."

"So you would like to have kids," Josh inserted.

"Josh, you realize that it's you who wanted to talk, I can shut up
every time I want. Sure, I would feel guilty about it for a while but
I wouldn't be the one ending up being frustrated," Donna said in a
detached tone.

"Yeah, okay, I'll try to focus," he murmured.

"So, I wouldn't want to do it all alone. I would want you to be there
for the checkups and ultrasounds and such. I would like you to
accompany me to the Lamaze-classes although I wouldn't pressure you if
you didn't want to come to the delivery room," Donna said.

"I would like to come, but I'm not sure I would be of any use," Josh
said. "As for the checkups, Donna, I know my schedule, but I would
accompany you."

"Even if you had to be in the Situation Room?"

"Are they reschedulable? I mean the checkups?"

"I would think so," Donna hedged.

"Then we would reschedule," Josh said with a hint of triumph in his
voice.

"Okay. Delivery. Even if you didn't want to stay for the actual birth,
I would like you to stay with me and help me until the time comes."

"I would take a day off. Make that four-five days," Josh said. "I
would like to stay with the two of you for a while. Help you get
settled at home."

"Again, Situation Room," Donna said.

"Yeah, I know. But I could ask Sam to step up," Josh answered.

"Okay, Josh," Donna gave him a slight smile. "That was the easy part.
Once the kid is at home, I would like you to help me to raise the
baby. That means being there for bath time, bedtime, goodnight-kisses
and such."

"I'm already making an effort to be at home at a reasonable time,"
Josh said. "You can't deny that."

"No, I won't deny it," Donna said. "But Josh, babies need and like
constancy. I can't tell a six-months-old to wait for Daddy because Lou
wanted to have a word."

"I would make clear to anyone that I have to leave at six-thirty,"
Josh said. "I know there will be days when I can't but I would make
sure those were the exemptions," Josh promised.

"Okay. Let's fast forward. Kindergartens tend to involve parents in
all sorts of activities," Donna said. "I'm sure that our child would
want to have Daddy there and not just excuses that he couldn't come."

"Whoa, Donna, that was some fast-forwarding!" Josh exclaimed. "I don't
want us to have a baby right away."

"No?" Donna asked back hesitantly.

"No," Josh said. "I would like to have you for myself for at least a
couple of years."

"Then why are we talking about marriage?"

"Because that's the next step in our relationship," Josh said.

"Josh," Donna sighed.

"It is!" Josh insisted.

"Yes, it is. But why is it so damn important right now?"

"Because I would like you to know that I love you and that I'm
committed enough to marry you. Also I wouldn't want you to think that
I'm waiting for someone else to come along. `Cause there won't be
anyone else, Donna. You are the one I want to grow old with. You are
the one with whom I want the `forever,'" Josh whispered.

"Oh, Josh!" Donna said, and Josh saw the tears pooling up in her eyes.
"Why the sudden insecurity? We talked about forever on our vacation. I
know you want forever, you know I want forever."

"I'm that way, okay?" Josh said, sounding defensive again.

"Josh," Donna said with another sigh. "Look at me, Josh."

Josh looked up at her and knew that she could see right through him.
She always knew how to read him. Sometimes it was downright scary,
sometimes he was really grateful for it. Now, the knowledge that she
knew what he was thinking made the tension he felt from the beginning
of the conversation dissolve.

"Is this because you fear that I could leave again?"

"No!" Josh protested. "Yes. I don't know."

"I told you `forever,'" Donna whispered.

"Donna, I just want to marry you," Josh said, his voice choking a bit.
"You said you wanted to marry me. Could we leave it at that?"

"You wanted to talk about our future," Donna said, and Josh knew that
she was hurt.

"Yeah. I just thought that we had the same things on mind. I never
thought you didn't want kids with me."

"You know what, Josh? I never said I didn't want kids!" Donna
practically screamed.

"You know what, Donna?" he mimicked her mockingly. "You never said you
wanted!"

And then all he could do was watch in horror when Donna's body went
limp, the fight leaving her completely. She stayed in that
cataleptic-like state for almost a minute, Josh didn't dare to touch
her. At the first sob he reached out for her, but she recoiled. Her
whole body was trembling, the sobs coming at great speed; he tried to
reach out again, and this time she let him. He caressed her back
lightly, but didn't dare to utter a word. He didn't know what to say.
He didn't know what the real problem was. Because the fight they just
had wasn't, of that he was sure.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered hoarsely. "So sorry."

"Why?"

"I shouldn't have..." her voice caught up in her throat, and she only
shook her head. "Oh, God, Josh!" she sobbed then.

"What's the problem, honey?" he asked her, rubbing her back
soothingly. It was the first time he used a term of endearment, but it
came so naturally, he didn't even notice it.

"I did something terrible. I wanted to play you," Donna sobbed. "I
swore to never do it and look at me! Three months and I already broke
my promise."

"You wanted to play me?" Josh asked incredulously.

"I wanted to scare you off of kids," Donna said.

"Why?"

"Because I'm afraid of having kids. And I didn't want to tell you
that," Donna said. "I will never forgive myself this. I swore to never
play with your feelings. I promised that. I broke my promise," she
repeated, the sobs wrecking her body. "God, I'm so sorry!"

"Donna, honey, calm down, please," Josh said after she let out what
were clearly dry heaves. "You are making yourself sick."

"We promised no more misdirection, but I was a coward tonight, Josh.
How could you just sit there and comfort me when I did something that
horrible to you tonight?" Donna asked, the tears still falling.

"Donna, let me take care of you," Josh whispered, pulling her into his
embrace. "I want to take care of you." He pulled her even closer, his
knuckles still rubbing her spine. She hid her head in his shoulders,
and Josh could feel the tears falling on his t-shirt.

"You don't want to know why I'm afraid of having kids?" Donna asked
perplexed, looking up at his face.

"You'll tell me when you are ready for that," Josh said reassuringly.
Yes, he was hurt; yes, he felt betrayed but he also knew that it was
not about him. This time Donna needed his forgiveness, and he loved
her too much to deny her that. He knew he was going to be angry later,
angry because of what they promised to each other. He upheld his
promise but Donna broke hers. It hurt like hell to know that Donna was
ready to play him, but he knew that she needed him right now and that
they were going to deal with the other stuff later.

"Most of the times I feel I can't give you enough love, Josh," Donna
confessed, surprising Josh. He didn't know what to say to that. Yes,
he felt sometimes that she held back, but he chalked that up to the
fact that they were both cautious. After all, they both sucked in the
relationship department. He didn't hide anything from Donna, at least
not for long. He knew that she accepted him the way he was, so he
wasn't nervous to show Donna all the Joshes that he concealed from
others. Apparently Donna didn't feel that way. Which meant she didn't
trust him the way he trusted her.

"You don't trust me?" Josh asked her in a whisper.

"That's not it, Josh," Donna said, shaking her head. "I trust you. I
always did. Even when you hurt me, even when you ignored me, I trusted
you. So that is not the problem. You are not the problem. It's me."

"It must be me, Donna, because you are the most caring, loving person
on the world, and if you can't give into our relationship it means
that you are afraid that I will break up with you when it comes out
that you are not always the way you are most of the times," Josh said,
not making much sense, but he hoped Donna understood him. After all
she always did.

"That's it, Josh. I'm not so sure that I'm all that caring and loving.
There are days I don't really like the person I became. Because I lost
something along the way, I think it's the warmth I'm missing," Donna
explained. "I mean you were the most important person in my life and
you are again. I loved you with all of my might back then, and I love
you now too, but there is something missing this time."

"Donna, you still care, you still love," Josh tried to reason with
her. "I would be lying if I said I didn't notice the changes. But I
love the person you became. I loved you for a long time, and then I
fell in love with you again."

"But why?" Donna asked him. "How can you love this cold bitch I
sometimes am?"

"Because you are not a bitch at all," Josh reassured her, hiding his
consternation. "Not at all. Yes, I noticed that sometimes you are
cold. I think you keep now things at arm's length, things you would
have felt all compassionate about before."

"Before what?" Donna asked.

"I think before Gaza," Josh guessed.

"Yes, I stopped thinking about our kids around that," Donna confessed
in a whisper.

"You thought about our kids before?" Josh asked, feeling his
excitement returning.

"All the time, Josh. I think I had been thinking about our kids almost
as long as I knew you," she said, snuggling closer to him.

"Did you imagine them with blonde hair and blue eyes?" Josh asked in a
whisper.

"No," Donna said, shaking her head. "They had brown curly hair and
deep brown eyes. And dimples. They had dimples," Donna said, her voice
choking again. "But, Josh, I don't think I would be a good mother. Not
anymore."

"Donna, I think you just have to learn again to let yourself go. Not
at work, you need to be detached a bit. But at home. Just be the way
you want to be. Don't hold back, cry if you want, shout if you want,
laugh if you want. I'll be here for you for whatever you need me."

"You think I can learn that again?"

"Yes, I think you can," Josh said.

"You are very wise sometimes," Donna said, and Josh chuckled.

"Yeah, I have my moments. Donna, I learned it back in the days when I
worked in the Senate that you have to separate the personal from the
professional," Josh said.

"But your girlfriends never learned that," Donna added.

"Yeah, the tragic of my life," Josh quipped. "They were able to hurt
me because of that. Because I gave everything when it was just the two
of us. I still do, Donna, although after my previous experiences I
really shouldn't. But I trust you, I trust you never to use my
feelings for you for your political gain."

"I would never do that. I know that my promises are worth nothing
right now, but I would never do that, Josh," Donna insisted.

"I know, Donna. I know. That's why I don't hide anything from you.
That and the fact that you were always able to read me," Josh said.
"You just have to learn to trust me too," he added.

"I really trust you, Josh."

"Your subconscious doesn't, but it's okay right now. I mean I didn't
really earn your trust," Josh said. "I hurt you and ignored you
before, why would I behave otherwise now? I would never intentionally
hurt or ignore you, Donna. I would never do that."

"I know," Donna said with a slight nod. "So I have to learn to
separate the professional from the personal."

"Yeah, that would be my unsolicited advice. And it's all for free," he
cracked.

"I really don't want to see a shrink about this, Josh," Donna said,
the tears returning to her eyes.

"You don't need to if you don't want to. Could we revisit the topic in
six months?" he asked, with a hopeful undertone.

"Which one?" Donna asked.

"Yeah, the one about kids. Because I'm still buying that ring for you
on Tuesday," Josh said with a cocky grin. "You can be my fianc‚e, we
don't have to set a date."

"I don't want that newspaper think that we do it because of them,"
Donna said.

"Okay," Josh agreed.

"Six months engagement?" Donna asked.

"That would put our marriage around the birth of Annabeth' baby. I
don't want to steal her show," Josh said with a smile.

"That's sweet of you, but I think Annabeth would appreciate the
diversion," Donna said. "However I would want her to be there, so I'm
thinking May."

"This May?" Josh asked back.

"Too short?" Donna asked back unsurely.

"No, absolutely not. This will give me time to actually work towards
world peace so when the big day comes no one has to leave hastily,"
Josh quipped, and for the first time during the night he felt
contentment again.

Yes, Donna was afraid of having kids, but she didn't say she didn't
want them. Yes, they had trust issues but they were working on it. And
yes, Donna broke her promise, but Josh already forgave her.Besides,
she said yes to his marriage proposal. And their was a vow that said
'in good times and in bad'.

TBC



Title: A Future Worth Living For 5
Author: Joanna Lyman
Spoilers: Santos Administration
Disclaimer: I don't own any West Wing characters. This is just for
fun, so don't sue, I don't really have that much money anyways.
Rating: PG-13(but there might be later chapters rated R for language)
Summary: (Because I suck at summaries, you get a quote every time,
until I run out of them.)

"Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare." ~ Ed Asner

***********

The next morning's senior staff came and went without any hitches,
although Josh could see that Sam looked pretty glum. He let the others
go, asking Lou, Lester and Sam to stay.

"Okay, let's talk about the pictures," Josh said. "Lester, what do you
say?"

"The White House doesn't comment on the personal lives of the staff,"
Lester said.

"Right," Josh said with a nod. "Prepare yourself for the pestering.
They will come at you with their wild theories, try not to flinch."

"Okay, boss," Lester said, after flashing a brief grin at Josh.

"Lou?"

"I still think that doing nothing is the best course of action," the
Communications Director said.

"Well, putting aside that `doing nothing' doesn't constitute as
action," Sam started, "I still think that a call to the editor
wouldn't go amiss."

"I thought about it and we'll follow Lou's lead, Sam. You and I are
too close to call the shots on this," Josh said, and Sam nodded.
"Okay, anything else?"

All three of them signaled with a shake of head that there wasn't, so
Josh let them go.

"Ginger, what's next?" he asked his assistant.

"The Chairman runs late so you have ten minutes," Ginger said.

"Okay, could you place a call to Mallory?" Josh asked her, thinking
that he should set up that meeting with Annabeth and Leo's daughter as
soon as possible.

"She is on line two!" Ginger shouted, and he picked up the receiver.

"Hi, Josh!" Mallory greeted him, and Josh could hear the smile in her
voice.

"Hi, Mal! How are you?"

"Thanks, we are fine. Well, apart from the fact that Tommy threw his
breakfast at me," she said. "How comes you call me?"

"I need to talk to you. Preferably in person," Josh said.

"Well, consider yourself lucky, we are in the D.C. Andy had to travel
to San Francisco so we are at Mom's."

"I consider myself lucky then. Listen, I would take you out for dinner
but there are reporters out for my blood and..."

"Say no more, I should visit you at the White House?" Mallory asked.

"That would be kind," Josh said with a relieved sigh.

"Okay. I could come by around three today, if that's okay with you,"
Mallory said.

"I'll transfer you back to Ginger, she handles my schedule," Josh said
with a self-deprecating smile.

"I see you learned your lesson well," Mallory said with a chuckle.

"What kind of lesson?"

"That it's really the assistants who run the country," Mallory said
with a laugh. "Now, transfer me back."

Josh's day quickly deteriorated soon after the conversation with
Mallory. The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs ran late because there was
an accident in Kazakhstan. Josh already memorized that Kazakhstan was
eleven hours ahead of them so he did the math while hurrying down to
the Situation Room where he spent most of his time before lunch. The
situation got worse before it got better but he couldn't do anything
besides waiting. He realized that he could as well wait in his office,
having lunch with Donna. He really needed the time with her. She not
only grounded him, she gave him new energy; this wasn't a new insight,
he realized it the third day after Donna hired herself. She left
around one and he dedicated himself to his security briefing memos.
Just after two Sam poked his head in, asking for permission to enter.

"Ginger is not there?" Josh asked him.

"No," Sam said. "Your other secretary is there, she told me to come in."

"I wish she wouldn't do that. I mean you are welcome here anytime but
she is not able to tell the difference," Josh said. "So, how was your
day?"

"Better than yours by the sight of it," Sam said, gesturing towards
the piles on Josh's desk.

"Yeah, we not only have a situation in Kazakhstan there are also
problems in Israel," Josh said with a sigh.

"You had lunch?" Sam asked him, looking at him with scrutinizing eyes.

"Yeah, Donna and I have lunch together every day. But you know that,"
he added then with a grin. "She makes sure I eat the healthy stuff."

"She is right, you know, you are not getting any younger," Sam said.

"Nice way to tell me that I'm old," Josh said with a scowl.

"Well, I call them as I see them," Sam said with a grin.

"Hey, how did Anna take the picture?" Josh asked.

"Well, not that good," Sam said. "Was Donna livid?"

"No, actually no," Josh said in a low voice.

"Is something wrong?"

"Am I too old to have children on my own?" Josh asked his friend.

"No, I don't think so," Sam answered, and Josh could see that he
really thought so.

"Okay," he said non-committal then. "Is he okay?" he changed the topic
with a movement of his head towards the Oval Office. He was not quite
ready to share his worries about Donna with Sam.

"Yeah, he is okay," Sam said with a nod. "We bonded a little.
Apparently we both hate budget meetings," he added then with a tired
sigh.

"Who doesn't? I mean except President Bartlet," Josh said with a
gentle smile.

"Yeah." Sam smiled back.

"Oh, Mallory is coming to visit me today. You wanna meet her?" Josh
asked Sam then out of the blue.

"I don't think it would be a good idea," Sam said, standing up.

"Well, she is coming in a half an hour and then we'll go over to the
East Wing," Josh said.

"Okay, thanks," Sam said and then left Josh's office.

Josh returned to his memos, although his thoughts were elsewhere. He
still didn't know how to broach the subject to Mallory, but one thing
was sure, he didn't want Annabeth to tell Mallory the news. Leo's
daughter always had a quick temper, and Josh didn't want to subject a
pregnant woman to that. He knew he can take the heat, so it had to be
him telling Mallory about Leo's baby.

And that's when Ginger told him that Mal was there.

"Send her in," Josh told his assistant and watched Mallory as she
entered the office.

"Nice job," she said, gesturing around.

"Yeah, Donna helped me," Josh said with a smile.

"So life's been good to you lately?" Mallory asked her.

"Well, as good as it gets as Chief of Staff to the President of the
United States," Josh said.

"Tell me about it."

"I learned a lot from your dad, Mal. I learned from his mistakes too,"
he added.

"Good for you. And Donna," Mallory said. "Okay, small talk aside, what
do you want?"

"Well, that was fast," Josh said with a smirk, but then his face
sobered. "Listen, I need to tell you something about your dad. If you
want to scream or trash something, you are welcome."

"Are you sure you want to tell me?" Mallory asked, and Josh heard the
trepidation in her voice.

"The papers will write about it soon, and I want you to hear from me,"
Josh said.

"Okay," Mal said, heaving a deep sigh. "Tell me."

"Your dad had a romantic relationship on the campaign trail," Josh
decided to start there.

"You mean a campaign fling?"

"No, it wasn't a fling," Josh said with conviction.

"Well, he was a free agent," Mallory said cautiously. "I mean it's
news, and I'm a bit hurt that he didn't tell me, but I guess..."

"Yeah," Josh interrupted her. "I'm sure they wanted to tell everyone
after the elections. It was new. I mean I didn't know about it back
then."

"Then how do you know it wasn't a fling?"

"Because Donna and Mrs. Santos knew about it," Josh said.

"Oh," Mallory said, clearly taken aback.

"Yeah," Josh agreed. "There is more."

"There is more?" Mallory asked, her voice rising. "Did they marry?"
she asked then sarcastically.

"That would make this easier," Josh whispered. "No," he said then aloud.

"Then what is it?" Mal asked back.

"Well, she is pregnant," Josh said.

"What?" Mallory shouted and sprang up.

"Yeah, that was predictable," Josh muttered under his breath.

"What are you talking about?" Mallory shrieked.

"I'm telling you that the woman who had a romantic relationship with
your late father is pregnant with his child," Josh said, and Mallory
sat back, her facial expression unreadable. "Mal?"

"Hmmm," Mal muttered. "Do I know her?"

"Probably," Josh said. "I mean I think you met her."

"She was at the funeral?" Mallory asked.

"Yeah," Josh said.

"It's Annabeth Schott, right?" Mallory asked.

"How did you know?" Josh asked perplexed.

"Yeah, I think I knew about them. I think I saw it in her eyes when
she came to me to offer her condolences."

Josh only nodded, and then drew a deep breath.

"She is waiting for us in the East Wing," he said.

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"She wanted. She doesn't know I did," Josh said with a brief grin.

"Why didn't you let her?" Mallory asked him.

"Well, I didn't want to fly off the handle in the presence of a
pregnant woman," Josh said.

"You can be so sweet sometimes," Mal said with a grin.

"Yeah, they keep telling me that," Josh admitted with a grin himself.

Josh arrived home around eleven; they waited for the sun come up in
Kazakhstan. By eight o'clock local time, the search party found the
missing soldiers. Fortunately, they only lost their way and weren't
kidnapped as the Chairman feared. He dragged his tired body into the
shower and then into bed. He inched closer to Donna, looped his right
arm around her waist and watched her sleep. Five minutes later, Donna
woke up.

"It's not polite to stare at people," she said in a raspy voice.

"Yeah, I needed to watch you," he confessed. "You are so beautiful."

"Thank you. Everything okay?"

"Yeah, they just lost their way," Josh said. "The Chairman feared that
they were kidnapped, but they just got lost."

"That's good to hear," Donna said.

"Everyday now," Josh said in a dark voice.

"Don't think about it, Josh," Donna admonished him.

"I just hate this whole situation," Josh admitted.

"I know," Donna said, caressing his face with the back of her hand.
"You should sleep."

"Yeah," Josh said, but didn't close his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"Did you speak to Annabeth after Mal left?"

"Yeah, we had dinner together," Donna said.

"How was Mal to her?"

"They had a lengthy conversation. Mal offered her to buy a flat for
them from Leo's estate," Donna said with a chuckle.

"What did Annabeth say?"

"She told her she would think it over. She is a proud woman but she
has to think about the baby," Donna said.

"Yeah," Josh agreed. "Would you accept it?"

"Annabeth asked me the same," Donna said with a gentle smile. "I don't
know, probably. It's not like Leo wouldn't have left them something if
he had known about the baby."

"That's right," Josh said.

"She wants to talk to you," Donna said. "But she said it could wait
until your appointment next week."

"Was she mad at me?" Josh asked then.

"Because you told Mallory?" Donna asked back.

"Yeah."

"I think she was first. She is a strong woman, Josh, she doesn't need
anyone to fight her fights. Her words, not mine. I told her she could
always count on her friends, that's what friends are for. Anyway,
Mallory convinced her that it was better this way. Why did you do it?"

"I know Mal," Josh said. "You know her too. I didn't want her to
scream at Annabeth. I mean she is pregnant, she doesn't need the added
stress."

"You are..."

"I swear to God if you say sweet I might scream myself," Josh said
with a smirk.

"Yeah," Donna said with a grin. "Okay, you are very considerate. And a
fantastic friend. But I knew that for a long time."

"Really?"

"Josh, you would do anything for your friends," Donna said. "That's
one of the things why I fell in love with you. You are very loyal to
them, even if they treat you bad."

"Relationships don't thrive on themselves, you need to work on them if
you want them to work," Josh said. "One of Dad's words of wisdom."

"Your father was a very wise man," Donna said.

"Yeah, I followed his advice except with one person," Josh said with a
sigh and pulled Donna closer. "How could you ever forgive me for that?
For neglecting our friendship?"

"Josh," Donna sighed.

"Why did you forgive me for that?"

"Because I knew you cared. And because I love you. That's all the
reason I needed," Donna confessed.

"How did you know I cared?" Josh pressed on. "I didn't treat you right."

"Josh. You were there for me when I needed you," Donna said.

"Yeah, grand gestures. Empty grand gestures," Josh said, knowing what
Donna was talking about.

"I don't want you to beat yourself up about this. It's in the past,
and you learned from your mistakes," Donna said. "And they weren't
empty gestures, Josh. You knew the consequences, yet you made those
grand gestures."

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't think I'm not aware what the diary-debacle could have resulted
in. You could have been indicted, Josh! If Cliff would have been your
standard Republican, he would have come with the Feds, and they would
have indicted me for perjury and you because you wanted to cover it
up. And don't get me started on Germany! You left the country while
there was an international crisis to deal with. That probably cost you
the Chief of Staff-job," Donna said, tears appearing in her eyes.

"I think my nutty outside the Oval cost me the Chief of Staff-job,"
Josh said. "I still don't know what I would do today if presented with
a similar case."

"You would deal with it, Josh," Donna said calmly. "I have every
confidence in you as Chief of Staff to the President of the United
States. There is no better man for the job."

"Thank you," Josh said, leaning over to kiss her.

Donna was long asleep before his mind shut down too. He was still
thinking about ways how to convince her to have a baby eventually. He
couldn't come up with any really compelling arguments but he decided
he would ask people who have children. That was his plan. He didn't
know that Donna already came up with the same plan and set it in
motion too. He didn't even think about what the queries (coming from
both of them) could do to the rumor mill.

TBC



Title: A Future Worth Living For 6
Author: Joanna Lyman
Spoilers: Santos Administration
Disclaimer: I don't own any West Wing characters. This is just for
fun, so don't sue, I don't really have that much money anyways.
Rating: PG-13(but there might be later chapters rated R for language)
Summary: (Because I suck at summaries, you get a quote every time,
until I run out of them.)

"A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you were looking for Parts 1-5 you can read them on my websiste:

http://geocities.com/joanna_lyman

************


They decided to table any discussion concerning their future for the
rest of the week. They spent the Sunday relaxing at home. They slept
in then Donna made lunch. In the afternoon, they watched a movie
(during which Josh took a nap, his head resting on Donna's lap) and
ESPN (during which Donna finished her book, snuggled up to Josh).

On Monday afternoon, Josh barreled into his office; he was late as it
was. His Monday mornings were always the busiest, and this week was no
exception. After his security briefing he met with Ambassador Hecht
who just kept on harping about the trade deficit and how that must be
addressed when the Chancellor comes to meet President Santos.

"Josh," Margaret stepped into his office.

"I'm on my way," he said, picking up his files. His hand was already
on the doorknob when he realized that Margaret was standing in his
doorway.

"Hi," he greeted her with a smirk. He didn't know what to make of
Margaret's sudden appearance in his office.

"You are late for Senior Staff in the Oval," Margaret said.

"Okay, but where is Ginger?" Josh asked her.

"Josh, we don't have time for this. Just go, I'll be here when you
come back."

"Okaaaay," Josh said and then entered the Oval Office.

"Josh!" the President greeted him with false buoyancy. "Glad you
decided to join us."

"Yeah, Ambassador Hecht is a fussbudget," Josh murmured, eliciting a
grin from Sam who heard him.

"Did you just say fussbudget?" Lou asked him, sounding quite repulsed.

"It would appear so," Josh said, throwing her a defiant look. "What?"
he asked then defensively, seeing Lou's exasperated look.

"Fussbudget?" Lou asked back.

"It's a word," Josh said, trying to downplay it.

"Yeah, it's a word Annabeth would use, but not you," Lester said with
barely hidden mirth.

"Yeah, yeah. Could we not harp on my word usage and dedicate ourselves
to the task at hand. We have a country to run," Josh said.

"Josh is right," President Santos said. "We don't want to have a bunch
of fussbudgets, formerly known as our constituents, ask us what we
wasted our time with while in office."

"Sir," Josh said in a pained voice.

"Okay, Josh, back to business," President Santos said, his face sober.

After the staff meeting Josh returned to his office the long way. He
wanted to surprise Margaret, just like she surprised him earlier. He
instantly regretted his decision when Amy interpreted it as an
invitation to talk to him about the National Service Act that was
introduced to the House that morning.

"Amy, we already talked about this at Morning Staff. I have nothing
more to add," Josh said, irritated.

"Josh, we need to squash this. I think..."

"Amy, it will never leave the committees, and even if it did it would
never pass in the House," Josh said, letting out a tired sigh. It was
only Monday and it seemed like it would be one hell of a week. He
couldn't have lunch with Donna, and his afternoon was packed with
briefing memos and meetings with diplomats.

"Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you," Amy said with a huff and then
left him.

Josh arrived at the ante-room of his office with two cups of coffee in
his hands, his folders stacked under his arm.

"Hi, Margaret!" he greeted Leo's former senior assistant with a wide
grin.

"You cannot have two coffees," Margaret said irrefutably.

"Yeah, one of them is for you," Josh said, handing one cup over to her.

"Thanks," Margaret said, flustered. She was clearly not used to this
kind of treatment.

"So... Where is Ginger? Not that I'm not glad that you are here but..."

"She is at the dentist," Margaret interrupted him.

"Did I know about this before?" Josh asked Margaret.

"Yeah, she sent you an e-mail and you even answered her. In fact,
that's why I AM here," Margaret said.

"When was this?"

"Yesterday evening," Margaret said. "You were watching ESPN."

"How do you know?" Josh asked, looking at her like she had sprouted an
extra head.

"Josh, I work in the East Wing," Margaret said with pride in her voice.

"Really? I didn't know that," Josh said, his eyebrows arched high.

"I think Donna told you," Margaret said.

"Really? I don't remember, but then again, I don't even remember I
exchanged e-mails with Ginger yesterday evening," he said with a
self-deprecating smile. "So why you? Not that I'm not glad but..."

"You wrote to Ginger that you didn't want an assistant from the temp
pool," Margaret interrupted him again.

"And Donna didn't have any objections to you coming over here?"

"I'm a research assistant, Josh. They can go without me for a day,"
Margaret said.

"I see. But I don't understand why you said no to *me* when I asked
you," Josh said.

"I can't sit here day and night with you, Josh. I have a son, you
know," she said.

"Yeah, I know," Josh nodded, and then his face lit up when he realized
that he could ask Margaret about kids. "How is the kid?"

"He enjoys life," Margaret said with a gentle smile. A smile Josh had
never seen on her face, well, maybe except for Leo. "We found a really
good day nursery, but Josh, you should see what's out there!" Her
smile quickly disappeared. "I don't make much here, and Alan is not
always punctual with the money, but we are lucky. Honestly, I don't
know how others do it. And, you know, if Leo hadn't had stepped in, I
wouldn't have found a place. There are waiting lists for the good
ones, and you don't want to leave the kid at a bad one. You should
really do something about it."

"Margaret, why don't you talk to the First Lady about it? I'm sure she
would have a sympathetic ear. Not that I don't care, I really do,
believe you me, but we focus on schools, not nurseries," Josh said.

"Early childhood care and education is really important," Margaret
said and then sat back into Ginger's chair.

"Oh, come on, Margaret!" Josh exclaimed.

"Single mothers have it bad, Josh," Margaret said. "And it's not that
I didn't want to marry the father of my child."

"Why didn't you marry him?" Josh asked then.

"He didn't ask," Margaret said in a whisper.

"Really? What kind of a dumbass is he?" Josh asked indignantly.

"He just wasn't ready for a family," Margaret said.

"And you were?" Josh asked, his attention fully focused on Margaret.

"Yes, I guess I was," Margaret said with a nod.

"How did you know that?"

"I didn't want to abort the pregnancy," Margaret said.

"So it just happened and then you decided you wanted to keep the
child?" Josh clarified.

"Yes, something like that," Margaret said.

"And would you want another kid?" Josh asked, sounding somewhat
eagerly. "I mean if you planned it and thought about it and..."

"What is this, Josh? Donna asked me the same. You are not looking for
a surrogate mother to carry your child to term, are you?" Margaret
asked bluntly as always.

"God! No! No, no, no!" Josh hurried to deny. "It's nothing like that.
I just... You know what, I have briefing memos to read and a country to
run. So it was nice talking to you, and I'll call you when I need you."

"Great," Margaret said with a brief nod then settled back and started
to type.

At four he had a meeting with the British Ambassador and then
President Santos called the British Prime Minister. A call that
required Josh's presence. After that he had a meeting with the Russian
and Chinese Ambassadors, a meeting he absolutely had no desire
whatsoever to attend, and so he told Margaret when he left his office
for the Roosevelt Room. After that he was so tired that he told Ginger
(who came back while he was in the meeting) to go home and he went
home too.

"I'm home!" he shouted when he stepped into their flat and for a
minute he mused about how small it seemed. He thought that maybe they
should look for either a bigger apartment or a small house.

"Me too!" came Donna's usual reply, making Josh smile. He liked these
rituals. No matter what happened, no matter what problems they had,
these rituals signaled that they were still `working', that they still
had the desire to make it work.

"Hi!" he entered the living room where Donna sat, reading her book,
sipping on her tea.

"Hi!" she looked up from her book and leaned back to accept his kiss.
He sat down next to her on the couch and pulled her into his embrace.

"Hard day?" Donna asked.

"That's an understatement," Josh said with a sigh as he pressed his
forehead to hers. "What are you reading?"

"Labyrinth by Kate Mosse," Donna answered.

"That supermodel wrote a book?" Josh asked back.

"Okay, I know that you usually don't have time to read anything but
memos and reports and newspapers, but this book is the latest
bestseller. The author was with Larry King the other night," Donna said.

"So it's not the supermodel?" Josh asked her with a teasing smile.

"Definitely not, especially because she writes her family name with an
e at the end," Donna informed him. "They are both English, though."

"Is it any good?" Josh asked her.

"Yeah, I think it's better than The Da Vinci Code," Donna said.

"Really?" Josh asked back. "I guess I have to read it then."

"You would?"

"I can't promise that we could discuss the book next week but maybe
next month," Josh said.

"That would be nice," Donna said with a smile. "But I should warn you,
it's about two women."

"And they fall in love?" Josh asked with a twinkle in his eyes.

"No, Josh, one of them lives in the 13th century, the other in the
21st, but it's about the Holy Grail," she said.

"Okaaaay," Josh agreed.

"You don't have to read it if you don't want," Donna said. "I just
finished Madeline Albright's memoirs, we can discuss that."

"No, I would like to read this Labyrinth. Where does it play? England?"

"No, France."

"Okay," Josh said. "After you read it you can lend it to me."

"Will do. Do you have much work to do?"

"Some reading. General Alexander suggested I read some books on
military strategy," Josh said. "I told him I already read Sun Tzu, he
suggested von Clausewitz."

"You should," Donna nodded. "You should read it and then forget it.
Sun Tzu is better."

"You already read von Clausewitz?" Josh asked taken aback.

"I did. After Gaza," Donna said. "I was on a military kick."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I read a lot of things on military tactics, even Caesar but
then I discovered Shakespeare again, and the military thing became
boring compared to him."

"Shakespeare?"

"Yeah, I started with Julius Caesar and Antony and Cleopatra and then
some of the Henrys. After a while I had enough of the tragedies and
pulled out the comedies. That was around the time I started to work
for the Santos campaign. That was the time I started to heal.
Shakespeare helped me."

"Really?"

"Really," Donna nodded. "That's why I keep reading, I think books can
take off the edge of the day."

"I see. Although for me, it's you."

"Really?" Donna asked with a slight smile.

"Yeah, the nearness of you," Josh confessed in a whisper.

"Come here," Donna said but then leaned closer to Josh and kissed him.
"I love you."

"And there is that. That's the ultimate highlight of my day," Josh said.

"Mine too."

"I love you, Donatella Moss," Josh said. "Let's move."

"To the bedroom?" Donna asked with an arched eyebrow and a twinkle in
her eyes.

"No," Josh shook his head and Donna's face fell. "I was thinking about
moving. You know, looking for a house and moving the furniture."

"Oh, that kind of moving?" Donna said, her voice even, not betraying
her emotions.

"Donna, we agreed that you won't try to conceal your emotions
anymore," Josh said. "Just let it out. What do you think?"

"You want to move into a house?"

"Or into a bigger flat. This was okay for a single person, but I think
we outgrew it."

"I like this flat," Donna said.

"So you don't want to move into a bigger house?" Josh asked.

"I didn't say that. Is this really about the size of the place?"

"Sure," Josh said.

"Really?"

"Okay, last week I thought this place is cozy and I thought we should
consider moving once we had a kid, but tonight I stepped into flat and
I realized that we outgrew this place and we should get a bigger flat
or a house," Josh rambled.

"I think this place is pretty cozy and I don't want a house, Josh. I
like it here," Donna said.

"You sure?"

"Yeah," Donna said.

"It's just occurred to me that maybe you want to invite your friends
over and this is not a big place."

"Okay," Donna said. "That might be true, although I seem to remember
that you entertained Sam, CJ and Toby here. It was enough then, it
should be big enough for my friends too."

"That's settled then," Josh said.

"You don't mind?"

"No," Josh said. "To tell the truth, I couldn't make time for the
search and I'm pretty sure you would want me there with you."

"That's for sure," Donna said with a smile.

"Good then. I think I will take a shower and then drag von Clausewitz
here," Josh said.

"How was dinner?"

"Yeah, Ginger brought me a fish with rice thingy," Josh said.

"Was it okay?" Donna asked.

"It was actually better than a tuna sandwich," Josh admitted.

"Because it wasn't tuna," Donna said.

"How do you know?"

"I had the same. It was haddock in lemon juice served with rice,"
Donna said.

"Oh."

"I just thought you might want to try something else than your usual
turkey sandwich."

"It was delicious. Thank you."

"I missed having lunch with you," Donna admitted.

"I missed it too," Josh said and pulled her closer to him. "I missed
you today," he added after he kissed her.

TBC



Title: A Future Worth Living For 7
Author: Joanna Lyman
Spoilers: Santos Administration
Disclaimer: I don't own any West Wing characters. This is just for
fun, so don't sue, I don't really have that much money anyways.
Rating: PG-13(but there might be later chapters rated R for language)
Summary: (Because I suck at summaries, you get a quote every time,
until I run out of them.)

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually
produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. ~Bill Cosby

***************

Josh hurried into his office, barking orders at Sam and Amy as he
went. Three Congressmen jumped ship on the Better Education for
Everyone Bill and that made him livid. Sam nodded at his suggestions,
Amy scowled, but then both of them left in a hurry, promising him to
get the votes back. Ginger was standing next to her desk, waiting for
his orders.

"Get me the weather report," Josh said and then stormed into his office.

"The Weather Report?" Ginger asked from the door. "I don't recall this
report. Did we issue it?"

"Ginger," Josh said with a scowl, but then a grin appeared on his
face. "I think CNN, ABC and NBC issue them daily. Go, give them a
call," he said.

"You really want the weather report?" Ginger asked back, sounding
incredulous.

"I really want the weather report. Preferably for the next three days.
Oh, and threw Fox in there, their weathermen always beg to differ."

"For the D.C. area?" Ginger asked.

"Yeah, for the nation's capital, Ginger," Josh said with a smile.

"Okay," Ginger said. "Hey, how was the shopping?"

"It was good. I know it's a lot to ask and I really should do it on my
own, but Higgs, Johnson and Tucker jumped ship and I'm kinda busy..."

"Are you coming to a point sometime soon?" Ginger cut him off after
letting out an exasperated sigh.

"Yeah, could you call that flower place? Let them deliver some nice
flowers to Annabeth."

"You want a card?"

"Just something simple. Like, `Thank you. Josh.' Yeah, that'll do."

"What kind of flowers?" Ginger asked.

"I don't know, Ginger, do I look like a botanist or a horticulturist?"
Josh asked impatiently.

"They have meanings, you know," Ginger mumbled, taken aback by his tone.

"Look, I'm sorry. I'm not angry with you, I just hate Higgs, Johnson
and Tucker, but they are not here. Get some nice flowers. Research
their meanings and get something that says thank you."

"Okay," Ginger said, perked up by the apology.

"Thanks, Ginger. And get me the Majority Leader on the phone first,"
he shouted after her.

"Sure," Ginger hollered back.

After his phone call with the Majority Leader he met with the
President and then had lunch with Donna. He was itching to show her
the ring he chose but wanted to make the proposal magical for Donna.
So he waited. After lunch he had a meeting with the Secretary of
Education.

"Sam just got back Higgs," Josh said when Ginger handed him a slip of
paper in the middle of the meeting.

"That's great," Patrick Peterson said. "I could talk to Troy."

"You know Troy Tucker?" Josh asked back curiously.

"Yeah, he married my ex-fianc‚e," Secretary Peterson explained with a
grin.

"The world is just a big..." Josh said, looking for the right term.

"I think you are looking for the term `soap opera' there, Josh," the
Secretary said.

"Yeah," Josh said, returning the grin. He liked the guy. "And there
are no hard feelings?"

"No hard feelings, he was the winner of that. Sheila is a great
woman," Peterson said. "I wish I had realized that back in the days."

"You married now?"

"Why Josh, you don't have my FBI-files at hand?" Peterson joked.

"I don't remember every detail," Josh retorted with a shrug of
shoulders. "I was just looking for criminal records when I went over
those files."

"Ah, I see," Peterson said. "I have a wife. Soon to be ex-wife."

"Kids?" Josh asked.

"Two girls. Age eight and six. They are probably the reason why this
marriage lasted as long as it did," Peterson admitted honestly. "We
are still discussing custody."

"It must be hard on them," Josh mused aloud.

"Yeah, it really is. But we decided that living in a hostile
environment might be harder and more damaging."

"That's probably true," Josh said.

"They are the joy of my life," Peterson said in an almost whisper. "I
don't want to be a Sunday dad. I want to see them every day. I want to
know what excites them, what makes them cry, I want to be there to
pick them up if they fall, and I want to be there for them when they
need a father to listen to their problems."

"I see," Josh said with a sigh. "Well, we'll try to get back Johnson
or get someone else. Please keep us updated on Tucker."

"Will do," Peterson said and then stood to leave Josh's office. "And
don't worry about me, Josh. I won't try to rekindle my relationship
with the wife of a United States Representative."

"Well, I like you Patrick and I don't want to tell you how to live
your life," Josh started saying, "but if you do anything damaging to
the President or his educational agenda I'll make sure that you are
not only fired but also buried, never getting any kind of job offers
for the rest of your life."

"I'll keep that in mind, Josh," Peterson said with a grin, and Josh
nodded at him.

"Your 3 o'clock is here!" Ginger entered his office.

"I thought I didn't have any more meetings today," Josh said, looking
down at his printed schedule.

"Yeah, the Congresswoman asked for ten minutes," Ginger said simply.

"Which one?" Josh asked, taken aback that Ginger didn't clear a
meeting with a Congressperson with him first.

"Wyatt," Ginger said.

"Oh, okay. Send her in, please," Josh said, standing up to greet Andie.

"Josh, I hope it's okay." Andie stepped into his office and shook his
hand. "I told Ginger I needed ten minutes, and she said if it was
urgent I should come by today."

"Yeah, the next couple of days gonna be busy."

"I heard you got Higgs back," Andie offered.

"Yeah, Sam's really getting into the game," Josh said with a smile.
"So, what do I owe the honor?"

"Well, I'm here in both personal and professional capacity," Andie said.

"Okay, let's start with the professional one," Josh said with a smile.

"I'm hearing about a Terrorism Prevention Act being introduced in the
near future," Andie said.

"Who..." Josh wanted to know.

"Tracey and Hanson," Andie supplied the information.

"Thanks for the tip off," Josh said.

"I don't want that bill near Capitol Hill, Josh," Andie said. "And I
think the President is the same opinion."

"He is. I am," Josh reassured her.

"Civil liberties will be trampled on, Josh," Andie prophesized.

"Andie, you are preaching to the choir," Josh said.

"Okay. My personal agenda. I wanted to thank you for talking to Bob,"
Andie said with a hint of a smile.

"He is my friend, you know," Josh said.

"Despite the brawl and the other thing?" Andie asked bewildered.

"He is my friend and I don't have too many, so I try to hang on to
them," Josh admitted.

"I see," Andie said and fell silent after that.

She was probably thinking about Toby and how he landed himself in this
mess, Josh mused. Whenever he heard Toby's name he had to think about
the same things. Why did he do it? He didn't dare to ask him again. He
just hoped that one day Toby would tell him why.

"Andie, I have a very private, and I daresay prying, question. And you
don't have to answer at all; indeed, you can say go to hell, Josh.
It's just there are several thoughts swirling in my mind and..."

"You have to speak some of them out loud or else there is an
overload?" Andie asked with a tight smile.

"Yeah, something like that," Josh said with an apologetic smile in
return.

"Fire away," Andie encouraged him.

"Have you ever regretted having his children?" Josh asked then
bluntly, deciding that after that foreplay he didn't need any small
talk to introduce the question.

"It's a pretty gutsy move to ask something like that," Andie said.

"So I should go to hell?" Josh asked with a smirk.

"I realize it was something others mulled over last year while I was
running for Congress," Andie said. "You are the only one who dared to
ask the question, and that's why I'm going to answer, Josh. No, not
for a moment. Would it have been easier if I hadn't told a soul who
the father was? Sure. Would it have been more convenient to ask
someone else to donate the sperm? Sure. But I never wanted any other
guy for to be the father of my children. That's why I went ahead with
the in vitro, even after the divorce."

"Thanks," Josh said quietly.

"I have a meeting at the East Wing," Andie said, rising to her feet.

"With Donna?" Josh asked her.

"Yeah. I'm still on the Foreign Affairs Committee, and there is word
on another CoDel to Israel," Andie said.

"Are you going?" Josh asked, he felt his heart rate climbing and bile
rising in his throat.

"Yeah, probably. I'm the Chairwoman of the International Relations
Subcommittee on the Middle East and South Asia, Josh. If there is a
CoDel to Israel, it's most likely they want me on it," Andie said. "I
just don't want Donna to find out from CNN."

"She'll appreciate that," Josh said with a nod.

"Yeah. I'm sorry," Andie said and then was gone.

Around half past eight, Josh realized that it will be a long night. He
called Donna that she shouldn't wait up for him. She told him she had
a hunch after watching the news and asked him if he wanted her to go
back to the White House, but Josh told her that at least one of them
should get a good night's sleep. There was a suicide bombing in
Jerusalem that left three American soldiers dead and two seriously
injured. Although there was not much to do, Josh decided to wait in
the Situation Room for further news. The President wanted to know
whether the bomber especially targeted the American soldiers, and Josh
wanted to tell him in person. Besides, he was never able to sleep when
Israel was concerned and he didn't want to disturb Donna's sleep with
tossing and turning in the bed. Around four, they finally knew that
indeed the American soldiers were the targets. After they saw the
suicide bomber's message on Al-Jazeera, Josh knew he had to go home.
He had to see with his own eyes that Donna was okay.

"I'm home," he whispered into the air, not expecting an answer.

"Me too," Donna responded in a raspy voice, and Josh could hear that
she was crying. He shed his coat and shoes in record time and was at
her side in the living room in a second.

"Honey," the term of endearment slipped out as he gathered her in his
arms. He held her as she sobbed into his shirt. "I'm sorry I couldn't
come sooner."

"I'm glad you are here now," Donna said in a muffled voice. Her head
was still buried in Josh's shirt.

"I'm here, I'm here," Josh repeated.

"Hold me tight, Josh," Donna said.

"I've got you, honey," Josh murmured into her hair and rocked her
gently.

Her sobs subsided ten minutes later, and Josh was finally able to get
a good look at her face. He felt his heart clench at the sight. Her
eyes were bloodshot from all the crying, and there were black rings
under them from the lack of sleep. But the fear he saw there, that was
the worst.

"You want to stay at home today?"

"Nah, I don't want to be alone," Donna said.

"I could stay at home with you," Josh offered, but Donna shook her head.

"It's sweet of you to offer, Joshua, but he needs you today. Maybe
after this is over?" she asked, hope replacing the fear in her eyes.

"Definitely," Josh said. "We could go away for the weekend."

"I don't want to go away, I just want us to be together for a whole
day," Donna said.

"Okay," Josh agreed.

"Oh, and I really hate to do this to you, but I think you should hear
it," Donna said. "I want you to prepare yourself for the worst. Toby
called. He spoke to the answering machine."

"Donna... I don't want to see you more upset. I'll call him back later."

"Josh, I doubt he would accept your calls today," Donna said after a
sigh. "And compared to the message that glorified Kahlil Nasan, I
think this is pretty much entertaining."

"Okay, let's hear it," Josh said.

"Oh, and he started speaking before the beep," Donna said when they
heard the message they recorded welcome the caller.

...hope you are not hiding behind the answering machine! Anyway, I don't
want the two of you interfering. And Donna, I hoped you were
different, I hoped you wouldn't resort to tag-teaming. I don't know
where the two of you take the nerve to... Anyway, stop it! Otherwise
I'll sic every officious woman I know at you. And you better believe
that I know a few of them. You think that article in that rag was bad?
Would you like to answer questions like, `When do you make an honest
woman of that girl, Joshua?' or `When is the wedding, Donna, darling?'
Ad nauseam, I can promise you that. SO STOP MEDDLING! AM I UNDERSTOOD?

Josh laughed out loud when he heard the word officious. He was in
stitches when he heard Toby's imitations.

"That `honest woman' line was so spot on for my mom," he said, rubbing
his eyes to get rid of the tears.

"Yeah, and the other one was Congresswoman Leachy," Donna said with a
grin.

"The old bag asked you that?" Josh asked taken aback.

"Yeah," Donna said. "At the Inaugural Ball."

"How many asked you that question since then?"

"Two or three..." Donna said. "Hundred," she added then with another grin.

"Oh, man!" Josh said.

"Apparently they think that we have been dating since the second year
of the Bartlet Administration."

"Really?"

"Yeah, that's the consensus. At least, that's what Andie told me.
There were speculations about the campaign, but they dismissed it
because you were together with Mandy back then."

"And what do they say about our relationships with other people?"

"Yeah, apparently your on-off dating with Amy is the best fuel they
have," Donna said with a hint of a frown. "They say that whenever we
had a tiff, you went to Amy."

"What?!" Josh cried out.

"Yeah," Donna said with a nod.

"Okay, I don't want to hear about this nonsense anymore," Josh said.
"What do we do about Toby?"

"Nothing. Give him a couple of days, and he will calm down."

"Okay," Josh agreed. "But what brought this on?"

"You asked something about them?"

"If she ever regretted having his kids," Josh said.

"I asked her about the kids too," Donna said.

"Margaret told me something," Josh said, suddenly remembering
something from his conversation with the assistant. "You were asking
her about kids, too."

"Yeah," Donna admitted. "And Annabeth. And Helen. And a couple of
others who already have kids."

"Really?" Josh asked in an even voice. He didn't dare to hope.

"Really," Donna said with a nod.

"And?" He decided to throw caution to the wind and ask her flat out.

"And I think this is a conversation for that day we are spending
together," Donna said.

"Oh, okay," Josh said, his voice devoid of all emotion.

"Josh, don't do this," Donna warned him. "We'll talk about it. I want
to tell you why I didn't want kids and..."

"You said that in past tense," Josh interrupted her.

"Yeah," Donna said, a smile appearing on her face.

"Okay, I need to take a shower and then get back to the office. You
want a ride?"

"Sure," Donna said. "Do you have time for a quick breakfast?"

"If it's not oatmeal," Josh shouted back on his way to the bathroom.

TBC



Title: A Future Worth Living For 8
Author: Joanna Lyman
Spoilers: Santos Administration
Disclaimer: I don't own any West Wing characters. This is just for
fun, so don't sue, I don't really have that much money anyways.
Rating: PG-13(but there might be later chapters rated R for language)
Summary: (Because I suck at summaries, you get a quote every time,
until I run out of them.)

"A truly appreciative child will break, lose, spoil, or fondle to
death any really successful gift within a matter of minutes." ~
Russell Lynes

A/N: Previous chapters can be found on this list, message numbers
24456,24465,24476,24489,24571,24604,24657.

Feedback: Is what I'm living for. :)

A/N #2: Long chapter, but then again, I was working on it for a long time.

******

The rest of the week, the weekend and the better part of the next week
went on in a haze. Josh didn't remember single events, just the
endless hours spent in the Situation Room. He spent more time down
there than in his office and of course almost no time at home. Donna
understood, even brought new shirts for him every morning. In return,
he was worried about her; she looked pale every time she came to his
office for a quick lunch break. Hating the thought of leaving her
alone for the nights, he managed to convince her to sleep over at
Annabeth's but he could tell she was still having nightmares; the dark
circles around her eyes grew day by day as the suicide bombings
continued, leaving five another Americans dead, one journalist and
four soldiers. There was public outcry for retaliation but President
Santos remained determined to stay on the peaceful course. His address
to the nation helped to calm the emotions running high. And then it
went as it came, unexpected, unexplainable. The bombings stopped and
normalcy reigned again. Or so they thought.

The bombings stopped but there were lingering issues they had to
attend to, so they still couldn't think of having a day to themselves,
although the thought of the upcoming discussion was ever-present in
the back of Josh's mind. He stopped asking questions around, but he
unconsciously watched his staffers with kids, how did they manage the
pressure, how did they find the balance. He also watched Sam, how he
was handling the requirements the job entailed. His friend kept better
hours than he did back in his Deputy Chief of Staff days, but lately
he spent more and more time at the office. Josh didn't want him to
commit the same mistakes he did and decided to step in. He wanted to
talk to him after the day's first Senior Staff meeting. Sam usually
stayed five minutes to chat, but not this morning. Indeed, he left the
office in a hurry, leaving even before Lou who was usually first out
of the door.

"Ginger, I want to talk to Sam," he told his assistant when he arrived
back from the Oval Office where the National Security Advisor held the
first security briefing of the day. "At his earliest convenience," he
added then as an afterthought.

"Okay," Ginger said with a nod and returned to her memo. Josh went
back into his office, but then turned sharply and was again at her
desk in a minute.

"And you should take the day off," he said, taking in the exhaustion
on her face. She apparently took lessons from Margaret and Donna
because she refused to leave his side, saying she would go home when
he went home.

"I don't see you taking the day off, Josh," she said, turning back her
attention to the file in front of her.

"I will, this weekend. Even two days if I can manage," Josh promised
her. "But you know my policy about one of us always present in the
office, so you should take the day off, I will ask Margaret to fill
in. And come in late tomorrow," he ordered, his voice indicating he
tolerated no protest.

"Okay," Ginger said. "I will ask Margaret to come over, and I will
call Sam's assistant to let her know you want to talk to him."

"Good," Josh said and returned to his office.

Fifteen minutes later, Ginger entered his office.

"Margaret will be over after lunch. I can stay until then and..."

"No, you are going home. I'll manage on my own for three hours," Josh
said. "Did you manage to reach Sam?"

"Yeah, he was on his way back from the Hill, he is coming over in ten
minutes," Ginger said with a nod. "Oh and here are the weather reports
for the weekend. Sunday looks like a winner," she added with a smile,
but then her face became serious. "I doubt you have seen the *DC
Daily* today, so the article in question is under the weather reports.
Annabeth and Lou are coming over in an hour."

"Thank you, Ginger," Josh said, and Ginger left after saying goodbye.
Josh took a minute to mull over how lucky he was for having such a
dedicated assistant. For a passing moment he felt remorse for missing
the chance to tell Donna how much he appreciated her when she did
everything to make his life easier, anticipating his every need. But
it was all in the past, and he never intended to make the same mistake
now that she was his girlfriend. He looked over the weather reports,
and they seemed to agree that Sunday would be a clear day. Josh wanted
to take Donna to the Botanic Garden and have coffee at the Mall later
or if the weather didn't play along to the National Gallery of Art to
have a late brunch there. He knew she said she just wanted a day in,
but he really wanted to have Saturday off too. However, he decided to
ask her later if his plans were okay with her.

At last, he took a deep breath and reached out for the article Ginger
clipped for him. It read, "Stormy Seas for Secretive Staffers."

"Why is it that they always go for alliterations?" Josh asked Sam,
looking up from the folder for a second. His friend looked unusually
rumpled. He was clutching a coffee cup in one hand and a stack of
folders in the other. Even if he hadn't seen the coffee in his hands,
his eyes and face would have betrayed the exhaustion that seemed to
make his shoulders sag.

"You read it?" Sam asked, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the
other.

"Just reading it." Josh held up the clipping. "So that's why you
avoided me this morning?"

"Josh, I'm handling it," Sam got defensive.

"Yeah, I believe you. What did Lou say?" Josh asked his deputy.

"She asked me whether it was true that Anna had dinner with another
man," Sam said, sinking into one of the visitor chairs.

"And what did you told her?" Josh asked warily, thinking that his two
co-workers might have had a fight because of that question. He would
have told Lou where she could go if she had presented him with that
question.

"The truth," Sam said, and Josh noticed the sadness in his eyes. Maybe
it wasn't exhaustion that made his shoulders droop; maybe it was
defeat that radiated off of him.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Josh mumbled.

"Well, she was unhappy with the allegations in that other rag, and we
had a big fight over it," Sam said, taking a nervous sip from his
coffee, but Josh saw the knuckles of his other hand whiten as he
gripped the folders resting on his knees tighter.

"And?" he pressed on.

"She wanted to get married, and I just couldn't set a date, Josh," Sam
said with a sigh.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know when the next crisis strikes!" Sam exclaimed.

"I know it's hard, but Sam, I know you. You can prioritize," Josh said.

"Yeah, apparently that office comes with a curse on personal
relationships," Sam said.

"I told you to choose another office," Josh quipped but then regretted
the little remark immediately, he didn't want to seem insensitive when
Sam was there to share his problems.

"Yeah," Sam said, apparently not minding Josh's `open mouth, insert
foot' moment.

"Yeah," Josh repeated lamely because he didn't know what else to say.

"But hey," Sam said with fake cheerfulness, "at least you can have a
private life. They are focused on me for the time being."

"I will call them and..."

"No, Josh," Sam said. "Don't make yourself the target again. Lou and I
can handle this. Besides, it's not like it's not true."

They sat in silence for a few moments before Sam spoke up again.

"I knew she was unhappy here," he said in a low voice. "I knew it yet
I chose to ignore it. I convinced myself it was just the new city, the
completely different situation, she would get used to it and then we
would be just as happy as we were in California. But deep down I knew
she wasn't happy. She took the bar exam and aced it, but didn't want
to look for a new job. That should have been the first warning sign. I
said she was a trooper but I only deluded myself. She hated it here."

"Where is she now?"

"That man you saw in the picture is her ex. He was in New York for a
case or something and decided to visit her. He was here for three
days, and they had lunches and dinners together. She left for
California this morning," Sam recounted.

"Sam, don't blame yourself. At least, not for all of it. She should
have said something, she should have worked on it, she should have
forced you to work on it," Josh said.

"Yeah, all the fight left her after that article," Sam said.

"I'm sorry I went with the silent tour but I thought..."

"Josh, I know that was the best course of action. I was Deputy
Communications Director once; I know what the right thing to do is."

"Okay," Josh agreed.

"That's the second engagement I managed to botch up," Sam said with a
sigh.

"Yeah, but it's still better to botch up an engagement than a marriage
complete with kids," Josh imparted his opinion.

"You mean they weren't meant to be?" Sam asked, and Josh saw hope
returning into his eyes.

"Yeah, I mean exactly that. Maybe they weren't meant to be. Maybe you
should find someone who accepts you the way you are," Josh said.

"That's why you are ready to marry Donna?" Sam asked him.

"Yup," Josh confirmed. "She accepts me the way I am, and I accept her
the way she is."

"Although there is not much to accept from her," Sam mused aloud.

"Yeah," Josh said, not wanting to tell Sam about their problems. It
was something they had to talk about first. Maybe after that he could
confide in Sam.

Josh thought that Annabeth and Lou wanted to talk about the article
about Sam's ex-fianc‚e but they sought him out because Annabeth's
neighbor was contacted by a journalist. The two of them suspected that
he had Annabeth's pregnancy and they wanted to warn Josh. He told them
to warn Lester and then let them handle it. He simply didn't have the
capacity to think about these things. His presence was still required
in the Situation Room, besides he had to kill Tracey's and Hanson's
hare-brained idea, the so-called Terrorism Prevention Act that
resurfaced after the latest events in Israel. It had to be him, Sam
had his hands full with the Better Education for Everyone Bill that
just got out of Committee, and Amy still occupied herself with the
National Service Act. Josh let her because the dangerous idea of the
Terrorism Prevention Act was something that needed to be crushed by
someone who was able to wield the full power of the White House.

He sent Margaret home around seven, and he was just planning on
leaving when Sam barreled into his office. Josh had a strange sense of
d‚j… vu, especially after hearing Sam's words.

"Lou is coming," his deputy announced, still out of breath.

"Okay, let's not make a habit of this," he quipped when Lou arrived.

"I don't know what to say, Joshua, but either there is a vengeful God
against you or you have a mortal enemy whose single purpose is to
destroy you," Lou said in a dramatic fashion Josh never heard from her.

"I thought Sam and Annabeth were the targets today," Josh said.

"Yeah, it might be true for today, but I managed to obtain an early
advance copy of tomorrow's *DC Daily*. And all of you are mentioned,"
Lou said, handing over a folder each to Sam and Josh. "I'm going over
to Annabeth's with Sam, and you are going home, Josh," she said,
snatching the folder back from his hands. "Do not read this until you
got home. Read it together with Donna and decide on the course of
action together."

"Lou, you are scaring me," Josh said with a fake chuckle.

"Yeah, I didn't want to, but Josh, believe me, you don't want to read
this until you got home. Promise me you won't do it," Lou insisted.

"Okay, I promise," Josh agreed.

"Good, now call Ollie and let him bring you home," Lou suggested, and
Josh nodded. He stuffed the folder into his backpack and then took off
for home.

He desperately wanted to read the article in the car but he promised
Lou, plus he didn't like reading in the car. He didn't know if it was
okay to show Donna an article he didn't have the time to digest
beforehand but he was sure if someone was able to handle this kind of
thing it was Donna. She was a strong woman. But he also knew how
emotionally fragile the recent events in Israel and the messages of
the suicide bombers left her. He wanted to spare her this, whatever
the `this' might be.

"I'm home," he shouted, his voice unconvincing even to his own ears.

"Me too," Donna shouted back. She hurried out of the kitchen to greet
him with a kiss. "Hi. How was your day?" she asked him, thrusting a
bottle of wine into his hands to open it.

"Considering the last few days, it was better. But on the other hand
it sucked," Josh said, and while they moved back into the kitchen, he
removed the foil from the bottle's neck.

"I met Sam in the afternoon, he was coming back from the Hill, and we
had a coffee together," Donna said, and put a new tablecloth on the
table.

"I hope he took decaf, he was high on caffeine before noon," Josh told
her as he took the bottle opener out of the cupboard drawer.

"Yeah, I made him drink decaf, I actually noticed the signs of too
much caffeine in his veins," Donna said, watching him for a moment.
"He told me about Anna. She gave up pretty fast."

"Yeah, makes me wonder why she said yes to his marriage proposal,"
Josh remarked, after he managed to remove the cork.

"I think she was on the rebound, the guy left her, she found Sam, Sam
thought it was time, Anna said yes to show the guy she was fine
without him," Donna summarized while she put two plates on the table.

"Yeah," Josh agreed while taking two wine glasses from the kitchen
cupboard.

"Did you manage to strike down that preposterous idea of Tracey and
Hanson?" Donna asked him after she pulled out the lasagna from the oven.

"Your man is still the old fox, Donatella," Josh said while he was
filling the glasses.

"Yeah, except they never called you an old fox, but I seem to remember
the terms `pit bull' and `juggernaut,'" Donna quipped back and sat down.

"Well, then I'm still the juggernaut," Josh acquiesced, taking a seat
too. "I killed the act before it learned to walk."

"Good," Donna said, picking up her fork, "Andie will be happy."

"Did she tell you that the CoDel was back on schedule?" Josh asked
her, folding a napkin on his lap.

"Yeah, she called me after I came back from the Hill," Donna said.
"Oh, there is an event for the First Lady and we would like the
President attend too. It would be fantastic if he came to the charity
night for Children with ADHD," Donna said.

"You are working on that now?" Josh asked back perplexed after
swallowing the first bite of his lasagna and taking a sip of his wine.
He didn't know about this. He thought Donna was helping out with the
Better Education for Everyone Bill. The First Lady wanted to be
involved in that.

"Yeah, it came to our attention while we had talks with groups who
advocated that the bill should have a specific section dedicated to
learning disabilities. The speaker of this group made a good
impression on the First Lady; she said she didn't know how to help but
that she wanted to help. They were already organizing this charity
event, so I said yes," Donna explained.

"Okay," Josh nodded. "I guess the President can attend but we need to
stress that it's the First Lady's agenda."

"I know. He can't be seen as partial to some disease and ignore the
other," Donna agreed.

"Are you going?"

"They invited me too, yes," Donna said.

"Would you like me to come?" Josh asked then.

"Would you like to come?" Donna asked back.

"Of course," Josh said. "Aside from the fact that I would miss you
that night and that I like seeing you in a fancy dress, it's a good
cause."

"You know someone with this disease?" Donna asked him with a frown.

"There was a boy in my class in high school, he was diagnosed pretty
late, but at last it explained his restless behavior," Josh recounted.

"Yeah," Donna said with a nod. "What's up in Israel? Can you talk
about it?"

"I have nothing that wasn't in the news," Josh said. "There is no
group who claimed responsibility. It seems that there was the first
suicide bomber who cited Nassan as a martyr who died for the right
cause, and that triggered the other bombings."

"It is far more difficult to unearth a dozen wise men than a hundred
fools," Donna quoted.

"Who said that?" Josh asked her.

"Lenin," Donna said with a sheepish grin.

"You are quoting Lenin at our table?" Josh asked in mock indignation.

"Well, you once made me take a meeting with a Communist," Donna said
with a full-fledged smile.

"Yeah." Josh grinned back, and then they continued their dinner,
talking about some old stories that made them laugh.

Josh felt relaxed but knew that eventually he had to bring up the new
article. He poured some more wine and directed Donna into the living
room. He waited until she took place on the couch and then sat down
next to her. He pulled his backpack closer and fished out the folder
Lou gave him.

"There's gonna be an article in the morning *DC Daily*," he began.

"About Annabeth, I know," Donna said.

"Yeah, that's what they thought, but it's actually about us," Josh added.

"Is it bad?"

"I don't know, Lou asked me not to read it until I got home," Josh said.

"So it's bad," Donna drew the conclusion.

"Yeah, I guess so. You want to take a look or should we do it in the
morning?"

"No, let's get over with it. Maybe it will give me new nightmares, I'm
pretty fed up with the old ones anyway," Donna said.

"Donna..." Josh sighed.

"Okay, that was a bad joke, but Josh... What can they do to us? We love
each other. We want to marry. They can't do worse than two gunmen and
a madman with a roadside bomb."

Josh nodded in agreement and then opened the folder. Donna leaned
over, supporting her weight on Josh's right side while they both read
the article, elegantly titled as "Stormy Seas, Take Two." The most
ridiculous allegations were presented as the truth, and sometimes Josh
didn't know whether to laugh or curse out loud. It basically said he
didn't want to marry Donna because they couldn't conceive a child. He
was having a kid with Annabeth who he intended to marry, a clearly
indication being that he took her ring-shopping last Tuesday.
Apparently he didn't intend to live with his child and the mother but
with Donna who was dubbed as his long-term girlfriend. There were
apparently no hard feelings between the women in his life, as proof
for that they had a photo of Donna entering Annabeth's house with the
petite blonde. The caption read: `Lyman's women. Long-term girlfriend,
Donna Moss and wife-to-be Annabeth Schott arrive at home of Schott's
for a night of girl talk.'

"This is so far out of this galaxy... Who would believe this?"

"The public who is educated on soap operas," Josh said, painting a
dark picture.

"Really, Josh, this is such nonsense," Donna said, but Josh saw that
her smile was not exactly genuine.

"I know," he sighed. "Lou said we should decide on a course of action."

"I think it's still better not to say anything. They will have their
surprise when we marry. Until then let them believe what they want. I
doubt they really want the truth," Donna said.

"Yeah, it's just Annabeth... And Leo... And Mallory... And..." Josh said, his
thoughts jumping from one thing to another.

"Yeah, I know. We'll talk to Annabeth but I refuse to act weird around
her," Donna said. "We became friends in the last months; I'm not
jeopardizing that by letting this stupid article loom over my life."

"Okay, we'll talk to Annabeth but we don't want to refute this and
Lester should still stick with the official White House line?" Josh
asked for her confirmation. She nodded in agreement. "Okay then" Josh
nodded too. "Listen, we should get some rest, tomorrow is going to be
a long day."

"It's only ten, Josh," Donna responded surprised.

"I didn't say we should sleep, I just said we should get some rest.
Take a nice, long bath. What do you say to that?" he suggested.

"You don't like taking nice, long baths, Joshua," Donna reminded him.

"I like taking them if you are with me in the tub," Josh said with a
wolfish grin.

TBC



Title: A Future Worth Living For 9
Author: Joanna Lyman
Spoilers: Santos Administration
Disclaimer: I don't own any West Wing characters. This is just for
fun, so don't sue, I don't really have that much money anyways.
Rating: PG-13(but there might be later chapters rated R for language)
Summary: (Because I suck at summaries, you get a quote every time,
until I run out of them.)

"Although there are many trial marriages... there is no such thing as
a trial child." ~Gail Sheehy

A/N: Previous chapters can be found on this list, message numbers
24456,24465,24476,24489,24571,24604,24657, 24787.

A/N #2: Okay, I made Amy a bit dumber than she really is. I don't know
next to nothing about Baker, but I wanted to have them some
difficulties in the political arena.

Feedback: Would appreciate it above all. (You could also send me your
suggestions for the solution of the VP-debacle.:)

******

Josh entered the Oval Office five minutes after he arrived back at the
West Wing. The President's personal aide phoned him when he was on his
way to the Russell Building to talk to the Senate Majority Leader; his
presence was required as soon as possible. The meeting Hendrickson was
the first of the day, so he just checked in with the White House but
didn't go in.

"Good morning, sir," he greeted the leader of the free world.

"Good morning, Josh," President Santos returned the greeting and stood
up. He rounded his desk and sat down on of the chintz armchairs next
to the couches. He waved Josh closer and pointed at the couch. Josh
was inclined to refuse but then thought otherwise, because you don't
say no to the President of the United States.

"Thank you, sir," he said and sat down.

"Josh, Ronna showed me an article in the *DC Daily*," Matt Santos said.

"Mr. President, everything is under control," Josh said and hung his
head. He took it as a personal failure whenever the knucklehead stuff
landed on his boss' desk.

"Josh, I don't know what to say," the President said and then sprung
up. He looked down at Josh who cringed slightly under his scrutiny. He
knew he looked tired. Hell, he was tired. He had to wake up early to
have a conference call with Annabeth, Lou and Lester. They had to talk
before the White House Press Corps attacked Lester during the morning
gaggle.

"Sir, let me handle this," Josh said, standing up too.

"But, Josh," the President protested.

"It will go away, sir. I apologize but I'm sure they'll have other
things to concentrate on; we have the confirmation process, the
BEE-bill, plus Israel and Kazakhstan. It will go away, sir," Josh said.

"Josh, did I hear you right, you've just apologized?"

"Yes, sir," Josh said. "My personal problems distract the media from
your agenda and I would like to apologize for that. I hope it will
blow over in a few days. I already talked to Lester; he will stick to
our message. So will Annabeth."

"Josh, I know you are a dedicated servant of the American public and
me, but you are allowed to be angry about it," President Santos said,
putting a hand on Josh's shoulder.

"I know, sir. And believe me, I was. I still am," he added then
honestly. "I just don't see what I could do to make it go away."

"What about the truth?" Matt Santos asked.

"Yeah, we contemplated to come clean but we doubt they want the truth.
They didn't contact us before publishing the article, and that means
they are not interested in what we might want to say, sir."

"What about Annabeth?" Santos asked.

"Yeah, she wanted to tell them who the father was but Donna managed to
convince her not to," Josh said and let out a tired sigh.

"You look tired," Santos remarked then with a frown.

"I am tired, sir," Josh admitted. "With your permission I would like
to take Saturday and Sunday off."

"Of course, Josh," Santos said. "Are you planning to leave the D.C.?"

"No, sir. We just want to spend some uninterrupted time together,"
Josh said, not even knowing why he was telling it the President.
Usually he wasn't so forthcoming about his personal life. It must be
the exhaustion, he decided.

"That's good, Josh," Santos said with a nod, and Josh was glad he
understood.

"I would like to call Amy, Edie and Sam in, sir; they want to brief
you on the confirmation," Josh moved on to safer pastures.

"Okay," Santos agreed, and Josh stepped into his room and asked the
three to enter the Oval Office. He stayed too; the morning Senior
Staff meeting having been pushed back because of his appointment with
the Senate Majority Leader he hadn't heard yet what they had to report.

They were getting closer and closer to March and they still didn't
have a Vice President. Josh set Edie, Sam and Amy on the task. Edie
being the point person with Eric Baker's staff said they were ready
for the vote although Sam voiced his doubts whether they got enough votes.

"What are you talking about, Sam? We have the votes. According to the
last nose count we have the votes," Amy said with a huff.

"Amy, by enough Sam meant enough for a win," Josh tried to explain.

"And I meant that too," Amy retorted, looking at Josh as if he had
lost it. "We have the votes to confirm him."

"Amy, the confirmation is not a win," Santos explained.

"Oh my gosh!" Amy exclaimed. "You are all deranged! With all due
respect, sir, do you think anybody will remember in three months with
what margin they confirmed him? We will have a Vice President, that's
what counts," Amy insisted.

"Amy, in this town people have long memories when it comes to
political wins... or losses, for that matter," Santos said. "You want to
know how many Democrats questioned me why I wanted to hire you? They
all remembered your lost cases and none of them remembered the ones
you won," he added then. "Should they confirm him, I want it by a wide
margin. I would like to have a unanimous confirmation but even I am
not that deluded."

"Sir..." Amy wanted to say, but Josh interrupted her.

"Yes, sir. We'll continue to work on it. Thank you, Mr. President,"
Josh said, ushering the three of them out of the Oval Office.

"Amy, you can't talk to the President like that," Sam warned her when
they arrived back in Josh's office.

"He has to know when he is wrong," Amy retorted.

"Yeah, you made your point-although I might have phrased it
different-but it was enough to let him know that you don't agree with
him," Josh said.

"He has to..." Amy wanted to continue, but Sam interrupted her.

"No, he really doesn't, Amy," he said. "He is the only one who got
elected. He will be the one judged later. Not you, not me, not Josh,
he. And you might want to remind yourself next time you are standing
in that office where you are and who you are talking to. Matt Santos
might like being informal with us, but when he is in that office he is
the President of the United States, and you'll talk to him with due
respect."

"Okay, okay," Amy said, lifting her hand to stop Sam. "Enough. I get
it. Now, what do we do?"

"I want to talk to Holovson, Edie," Josh said, turning to Edie Ortega.
"I talked to Senate Majority Leader this morning; he wasn't sold on
the idea of Eric Baker as Vice President. I want to know why, but he
didn't want to tell me. And I think he made some behind the scene
phone calls and that's why we won't have a clear win. So I want an
answer to the why-question by the end of the day."

"We'll work on it, Josh," Sam said, and the three of them Josh's office.

"The Chairman is here," Ginger announced General Alexander.

"General," Josh greeted the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, and his
typical day began.

He had two more meetings before noon, one with Baker's Chief of Staff
who sounded convinced that his boss would be confirmed despite that
Josh voiced his doubts and told him about his meeting with the Senate
Majority Leader. The other was the Israeli Ambassador who became a
regular visitor in the past few days. At that point, he wanted nothing
more than to go home and crawl into bed, but he had several afternoon
meetings, which he couldn't postpone. He was able to keep his lunch
hour with Donna, fortunately a close second to leaving for home.

"I met Sam on the Hill earlier," she said. "We can keep running into
each other, and he suggested maybe we should take some meetings
together on the BEE-bill now that it is out of the Committee. To show
unity, he said."

"It's a good idea," Josh said with a nod after taking a bite of his
chicken salad.

"He told me you still have problems with the confirmation," Donna
remarked. "I thought you had the votes."

"We have the votes, but it's not enough for a win," Josh explained,
and Donna nodded. "They are not sold on Baker, but *he* persists," he
added, signaling with his head whom he meant by *he*.

"Yeah, I know."

"I don't know. Maybe it's not even worth the fight. I mean look what
former Vice Presidents had to say about the job," Josh said with a
sigh. "The most insignificant office that ever the invention of man
contrived or his imagination conceived."

"Not worth a pitcher of warm piss?" Donna offered another quote.

"Exactly," Josh said with a grin. "So why risk the President's
political capital on this? Why fight for a man whose only job will be
to go to funerals and weddings?"

"Well, he is the second in the presidential line of succession," Donna
mentioned seemingly offhanded.

"Yeah, there is that," Josh admitted. "But we need all our clout for
the BEE-bill. We can't waste it on this."

"Maybe you should talk to him about choosing another candidate," Donna
offered.

"I tried," Josh said, indicating with a shake of his head that he failed.

"Did you know that there were three Vice Presidents named Johnson? And
three of them were born on August 27," she said with a grin.

"So you are basically saying I should look for a guy named Johnson who
was born in August?" Josh asked back in mock-seriousness.

"On the 27th," Donna added without a hint of a grin or a smile.

"Any other requirements?" Josh asked while his face remained
expressionless as well.

"Yeah, I heard he must be at least 35 years old," Donna kept up the
mock conversation. "Also a Crank, a Criminal, a Tax Cheat or a
Golfer," she concluded, referring to the title of a book about former
Vice Presidents. At that they both burst out in laughter.

Donna stayed for a while, and they tuned into Lester's briefing after
lunch. As expected, a lot of questions were asked about them. Lester
refused to answer them and tried to steer back to this week's message,
the education bill left the committees.

"He is getting fried," Sam said when he stepped into the office.

"Yeah," Donna and Josh agreed with dark faces.

"Did you ask him?"

"Yup, he said it was a good idea," Donna said, casting a quick glance
at Josh who nodded, signaling that he still found it a good idea.
"Next week we should take some of the meetings together. Zelda should
call me, and we can work out which ones."

"Okay," Sam agreed, and then Donna left. "I'm the bearer of bad news,
but please, don't shoot the messenger.

"What's up?" Josh asked him.

"Baker won't be confirmed. He had something to hide after all. The
Senate Majority Leader has it and he had several meetings in the last
days," Sam imparted.

"What is it?"

"They had an illegal alien as his chauffeur," Sam said.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Josh shouted.

"It's true. Hendrickson's Chief of Staff told me," Sam said.

"No doubt?" Josh asked.

"They are pretty sure. It's like Clinton's Baird-nomination all over
again," Sam said.

"Did he forget to mention this during the vetting process?" Josh
asked, his anger boiling under the calm surface.

"Yes. Josh, it can mean that he didn't know about it. Baker is better
than to keep something like this. They had a pretty big staff in the
Governor's Mansion, his Chief of Staff did the hiring," Sam said.

"Holovson?" Josh asked back with a frown.

"No, the former one, a man named Peter Gibson," Sam read aloud from
his notes. "He was fired for gross incompetence, but nonetheless...

"Yeah. The `I knew nothing about it' line won't fly, especially after
the wife-debacle," Josh said. "Okay, you have to tell the President,
my next appointments should be here in two minutes."

"Okay," Sam agreed and after knocking on the door, he stepped into the
lion's den. Josh greeted the Kyrgyz, Turkmen and Uzbek ambassadors,
all representatives of the neighboring states of Kazakhstan. Josh was
relieved that his former `transgression' of sending pizzas to the
Turkmen office at the UN Headquarters in New York went untouched.
Before setting up the conference, he briefly debated whether he should
invite the Turkmen party at all, but then the Deputy NSA reminded him
that `His Excellency, Saparmurat Niyazov Turkmenbashi, President of
Turkmenistan' died back in December.

At the end, he had to cancel two of his meetings that afternoon
because Eric Baker came over and President Santos asked him to sit in
on the meeting. After Baker left they quickly mulled over why the
Senate Majority Leader didn't came out with the information, and
decided he probably wanted to hurt them after they put out Baker's
name officially. Most likely he wanted to milk it and maybe derail
their agenda. It was a big setback, and Josh saw that the President
was disappointed. After telling him not to think about it until
Monday, he sent Matt Santos to his family and reminded him that he
wouldn't be in for the rest of the week. He told him to call if he had
someone on mind and suggested to look over Carol Gelsey's file again,
knowing that Amy's first question on Monday would be if they
considered Gelsey.

While he was stepping out of his office Lou stopped him, she wanted to
tell him about her staging a rescue mission for Annabeth. Apparently
the Fourth Estate was camped outside her home and Bram and Otto
brought the First Lady's Press Secretary to a hotel. Josh was glad he
convinced Donna of waiting for him in her office, although he knew
that the Secret Service wouldn't allow the press to come too close, he
was worried that they might swoop on Donna if she left for home alone.
In the car he laid out his weekend plans for her approval, they would
spend Saturday in and then on Sunday he wanted to take her out.

"Is that wise, Josh?" Donna asked him before agreeing to his plans.

"Donna, you said you didn't want this to loom over your life. Neither
do I. I want to take you to the Botanic Garden and have coffee at the
National Gallery of Art. If you don't want to, fine, but if you don't
want to because of the article then I have to draw a line," he said.

"I like your plans," Donna said and after giving Ollie a quick glance,
she kissed him.

"Good," Josh said and leaned back, feeling content.

"Will there be journalists outside of our home, too?" she asked then.

"Not too close," Josh said. "Secret Service took care of that," he
added with a slight smile.

TBC



Title: A Future Worth Living For 10
Author: Joanna Lyman
Spoilers: Santos Administration
Disclaimer: I don't own any West Wing characters. This is just for
fun, so don't sue, I don't really have that much money anyways.
Rating: PG-13(but there might be later chapters rated R for language)
Summary: (Because I suck at summaries, you get a quote every time,
until I run out of them.)

"To nourish children and raise them against odds is in any time, any
place, more valuable than to fix bolts in cars or design nuclear
weapons." ~ Marilyn French

A/N: Previous chapters can be found on this list, message numbers
24456,24465,24476,24489,24571,24604,24657, 24787, 24800.

A/N #2: Thanks for the feedback everyone! I'll consider your
suggestions and then maybe come up with an OC to be the next
VP-candidate. Donna is certainly giving me ideas. :)

Feedback is deeply appreciated and I really would like to know how am
I doing on this. Just drop me a line or two, that would make my day
happy. Thanks!
******

"Good morning," Donna greeted him with a big smile when he awoke on
Saturday morning.

"Morning," he croaked. "You up early," he remarked, glancing at his
watch.

"Yeah, couldn't sleep anymore," Donna said. "We didn't listen to the
answering machine yesterday evening. You up to hear Toby groveling?"
she asked with a smile.

"Don't tell me he believed those things," Josh said, rubbing his eyes.

"No, he didn't, but he was sympathetic about the media circus," Donna
said.

"Later," he said with a moan.

"Okay, you want to go back to sleep or..."

"Or what?"

"I thought we could talk," Donna said.

"Let me have a shower and coffee and then we can talk," Josh said, and
Donna leaned in for a quick kiss.

"You want me to wash your back in the shower?" she asked after pulling
back.

"I thought you wanted to talk," Josh said, climbing out of the bed.

"We have all the time of the world," Donna said, pressing a kiss on
his shoulder.

"Then I'm all for a `recreational shower,'" Josh said with a wolfish
grin, and they both entered the bathroom.

After the shower, while they were drinking their coffee in the living
room Josh noticed that Donna had been working. Her laptop was lying on
the coffee table; three or four folders were neatly stacked next to it.

"You were working?" he asked, trying to mask his hurt. He thought it
was `their' day. No work, no other people.

"Told you I couldn't sleep," Donna said. "I thought I might do some
research."

"Okay," Josh said, disappointment seeping into his voice.

"Josh, you were sleeping, I had nothing to do," Donna defended her
decision. "And I did it for you," she added with a smile.

"You did research for me?" Josh asked back with an arched eyebrow.

"Yeah," Donna said, standing up. She gathered the three folders from
the chair and gave it to Josh.

"We should talk before I get to this," Josh said, laying the folders
aside. He immediately recognized that he did what Donna hoped he would
do because she sent him a bright smile. "Last time I wanted to talk
about our future I couldn't say everything I wanted to. I don't think
I have another presidential campaign in me," he said, looking into her
eyes. "I was wound so tight, and I don't think that after my `stint'
as Chief of Staff my stress level should reach such heights again," he
admitted. He saw that Donna wanted to say something but he waved her
off. "Let me finish. I might help out with re-election, but it's up to
you the next time. I think you have it in you, I think you can direct
a presidential campaign. And after re-election you'll have four
presidential campaigns to be proud of. You will be an even more
powerful operative in the Democratic Party than you are now, and I
think you'll find the next real thing after Matthew Santos. I just
wanted to let you know that I'll be there for you when you do, and I
will support your decision should you choose to run someone's campaign."

Donna looked at him with an unfathomable look in her eyes. It made
Josh squirm before she spoke up.

"Josh... I don't know what to say. I've never thought you would say
something like that to me. And yes, that means that maybe I didn't
trust you the same level you trusted me. But this thing, this speech
you made here, in our home, means a lot to me, Josh. Thank you," she
said, leaned over and kissed him.

"I know I didn't exactly show my appreciation when you were my
assistant or when we campaigned for Santos, but Donna, you made my
life easier ever since we met. I could be the political operative I
was because of you. I was... I am a better human being because of you.
Heck, you reminded me to be a human being not just a political animal.
I don't think I ever told you I was proud of you when you stood up to
me. After the pain and the hurt subsided, of course," he added with a
self-deprecating smile.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," Donna said, although she already apologized
for that during their trip to Hawaii.

"And I'm sorry I hurt you," Josh whispered back.

"One day, maybe I'll find the next real thing," Donna said with a
little smile. "But if not, I'm not going to regret it. I knew two
presidents, who were the real things, and it's an incredible privilege
to know them both and I'm thankful for that. And I know that I'm there
where I am because of you, Josh. I will never forget that. You were a
good teacher."

"And Will?"

"It was a joke. A hurtful one, I admit, but it was a joke, Josh.
Surely you knew that," Donna said, looking him straight in the eyes.
"Or not. Judging by the look on your face you didn't. Oh, Josh, you
were my teacher, not Will. Although I learned from him a lot. Mostly
what not to become, how to be a political animal without losing your
humanity."

"I think you learned that from my mistakes too," Josh said.

"Josh, sometimes you got tunnel-visioned, sometimes you had to be the
one among the Senior Staff to advocate those tough decisions, but you
actually listened. Listened to Sam, listened to CJ, listened to me,"
Donna said. "Will never listened to me."

"You didn't want him to go public about Dotty Baker's illness," Josh
said.

"Yeah," Donna confirmed.

"I went with it to the Congressman. He refused to use it," Josh said.
"But I tried to convince him, Donna. I'm sometimes a political animal
without the soul."

"Yeah, but you usually keep people around you whom you listen to and
who are able to find the balance, Josh. Yes, sometimes your
monomaniacal tendencies get the better of you. But your dedication to
serving the President and the American public is enviable," Donna said.

"They think I do it for political gain," Josh remarked.

"Yeah, they will notice when you won't run for office after your
`stints' at the White House," Donna said. "You still don't want to,
right?"

"Right," Josh said. "I don't know, maybe if you ever wanted to move to
Connecticut, I could run for Mayor of Westport or some other town, but
nah, nothing big."

"Okay then. Let's talk about kids," she said. "As you know, I didn't
want to have children for a while."

"Why not?"

"I already told you that sometimes, I felt like I can't love you the
same way I used to love you. I thought if I kept one tiny part of my
heart to myself, if I held back just a little bit, you wouldn't be
able to hurt me. But then I realized that it was still the
unconditional type of love. I would still love you even if you hurt me
and even if you said one day you didn't love me anymore," Donna said
in a low voice. "That gives you power over me. And that power scared
me sometimes because I was afraid that you could hurt me. And I guess
you were right, I didn't trust you enough. Certainly not to a level
where I could have told you about my anxiety. I know I should have
said something but I just couldn't. Because making that confession
would have been voicing my feelings, feelings I tried to bury deep in
my soul. Because I loved you and I didn't want to lose you," she said.
"I came to the realization that no matter what, no matter if I gave
you the 100 percent Donna or the 95 percent Donna; you will still be
able to hurt me."

"Donna..." Josh said, a bit taken aback by her confession.

"But I know that you wouldn't do anything deliberate to hurt me. I
know that, I always knew. Sometimes, you hurt because you were hurting
or in pain, physical or emotional but there were no deliberate acts,
never, so I know and I guess I always knew," she asserted. "I just had
to accept the risks. I just had to accept that yes, there was a
possibility that I could end up with my heart ripped apart. But I also
understand now that I have to take the risk, I have to dive in if I
ever wanted to experience the happiness I always strove for," she
said, and Josh took her hand in his. "I just had to mull things over.
I'm not afraid anymore, Josh. I want to enjoy life with you. I want to
become your wife, I want you to know that I stopped looking too, you
are the one I want for the rest of my life."

Josh lifted her hand to his lips, and kissed the bottom of her palm.
Then he pulled her onto his lap and held her close, they both kept
their silence for a minute or two.

"You might want to know how that relates to having kids," Donna said,
breaking the silence.

"I think I have a pretty good idea. You were talking about
unconditional love. That's the type of love a parent experiences,"
Josh said. "You were afraid of our kids having that power over you too."

"Yes, Josh, that's one dimension I was afraid of. As I told you
earlier, it doesn't scare me anymore. The other part I already talked
about. Sometimes, I feel detached; sometimes, I feel like this cold
person who can't find any warmth in her. And I feel anxious about that
too."

"That's still an issue, right?"

"Yup. The other one, I really believe my heart and my mind agreed and
moved on. This one, it stayed with me. It's still with me. I will give
you the one hundred percent Donna, I just don't know if I could do
that with any other person," Donna said. "I have to accept it that
this will be part of my life. A nice reminder of that roadside bomb,"
she added with a self-deprecating smile.

"Well, I have the nightmares and you have this insecurity and
anxiety," Josh said. "We are quite a pair."

"That we are," Donna agreed just with a hint of a smile on her lips.

"So you want to have kids?" Josh asked her, his gazed directed at her
lap where their hands were lying, joined, caressing the other.

"Yes, I want to have kids with you, Josh," Donna confirmed.

Josh looked into her eyes, trying to ensure that it was something she
wanted to do, and not just did because he wanted it. Donna was right,
he would never hurt her deliberately, but Josh vowed to try not to
hurt her at all. He knew that trying was going to be the best he could
do. He could have vowed not to hurt her for sure (and he would have
seen it through), but he knew that wouldn't be for the best because
then he would have to hold back. And holding back was no option. He
was sure they could weather anything (they already did in a fashion,
they just had to get better at it), but holding back was a sure way to
doom the relationship. So he had to accept that he was going to hurt
Donna occasionally, by his insensitiveness, by becoming
tunnel-visioned or by the lack of time for personal matters that came
with the job. But he also had to accept that she could hurt him just
the same, by not letting go of some topic or another he didn't want to
do anything with, by the silent treatment he hated so much or by
giving him the cold shoulder. But he was convinced if they didn't hold
back they could make it work. It was basically what they agreed to on
Hawaii. They both broke that promise since then, and that resulted in
hurt and disappointment.

"We should renew our promise of not letting anything come between us,
no insecurities, no anxiety, no false heroics, no jobs, no other
persons," Josh said, echoing their words they said in that hotel room
back in November.

"I promise," Donna said solemnly, and Josh repeated her word the exact
same way.

"When?"

"When what?" Donna asked back.

"When do you want to have kids? And is it really plural?" Josh added
as an afterthought.

"Yes, it's in plural. As for the when, well, when?" she said, sending
the ball back into his court.

"After re-election?" Josh asked her, sounding hopeful.

"That'd be okay," Donna said with a nod. "I think we should call our..."
she added then, but the phone rang, interrupting her effectively.

"The answering machine can pick up, it's `our' day," Josh said,
holding her back.

"Joshua Lyman, here is your mother. In case you forgot my existence,
I'm the woman who was in labor for almost six hours before you though
you'd grace the world with your presence," Rebecca Lyman's voice
carried through to the living room. "Anyway, I would have really
appreciated a heads-up about this, Joshua. I bet Donna had a full
schedule this week because otherwise she would have called me,
although technically it's not her job to call me to warn me about that
preposterous article in that rag that calls himself a newspaper. Betty
Schreiner came by earlier and showed me her copy, asking if I was
disappointed that you'd never give me grandkids. I would have told her
where to stick her nose but she is close to 85, so I let it go."

"Maybe you should pick up," Donna said, breaking their silence.

"Oh, that machine cut me off. Anyway, when are you making an honest
woman out of that girl, Joshua?" his mother asked. "And I don't mind
not having grandkids as long as I know that you are happy. And Donna
makes you happy. So, when do I see a ring on her finger?"

"Nah, we will just let her wear herself out," Josh said. "I'll call
her tonight, I promise."

"Okay," Donna said with a nod. "I will start lunch, you want to take a
look at my research?"

"Yup," Josh said, lifting the folders into his lap. "Stay with me," he
asked her. "I really would like this to be `our' day."

"Okay," Donna agreed.

"We'll order something super healthy," Josh reassured her. "Why are
there three folders?"

"One is for serious candidates, one is for candidates I would like to
see in that office but wouldn't be probably confirmable. And the third
one is fun stuff."

"Fun stuff?" Josh asked back.

"Yeah, I picked Congresspeople and Senators over 35 whose name was
either Johnson or were born on August 27," Donna said with a grin.

"You didn't!" Josh exclaimed incredulously.

"Yeah, I really did," Donna said, the grin never leaving her face.

"Any overlapping?" Josh asked her.

"Yeah, Lisa Johnson from Arkansas," Donna said. "She is in the second
group though. Dems don't like her that much and she is a torn in the
Republican's eyes. I followed her career for sometime now, she is
principled, she is disciplined and determined to make the world or at
least the country a better place for her kids."

"But she would be worth the fight?"

"I think so. But you'll read her file and you can tell yourself. I
only did the research, you have to decide."

"Thanks for the research, and be ready to discuss candidates with me
in the next couple of days, I want to hear your opinion on whomever we
choose," Josh said.

"Okay," Donna answered simply.

TBC



Title: A Future Worth Living For 11
Author: Joanna Lyman
Spoilers: Santos Administration
Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst
Disclaimer: I don't own any West Wing characters. This is just for
fun, so don't sue, I don't really have that much money anyways.
Rating: PG-13(but there might be later chapters rated R for language)
Summary: (Because I suck at summaries, you get a quote every time,
until I run out of them.)

"Adoption across political and cultural borders may simultaneously be
an act of violence and an act of love, an excruciating rupture and a
generous incorporation, an appropriation of valued resources and a
constitution of personal ties." ~ Pauline Turner Strong in an article
in Relative Values: Reconfiguring Kinship Studies.

A/N: Previous chapters can be found on this list, message numbers
24456, 24465, 24476, 24489, 24571, 24604, 24657, 24787, 24800, 24810.

A/N #2: We are coming up to the angsty parts, folks.

Feedback is-as always-appreciated.

******

Monday morning Staff came and went and even Lou made a remark how
disgustingly relaxed and happy Josh looked. Sam's head shot up at the
comment and Josh saw his best friend throwing a scrutinizing look at
him. He nodded and Sam nodded back, that was all they needed. The
others left ten minutes later after Amy finished her rant about Carol
Gelsey, and Josh reassured her that he told the President to look at
the file over the weekend. Sam hung back like he always did.

"So... What did you do over the weekend?" Sam asked, clutching his
ever-present folders to his chest.

"Saturday was Josh and Donna day. We didn't even answer the phone. No
other people, just us. It was good. We talked a lot. She was
perceptive of my idea of her finding the next real thing," Josh told Sam.

"Really?" Sam asked back.

"Yeah," Josh nodded.

"You don't want me to find the next real thing?" Sam asked back unsurely.

"Sam, you are not the guy behind the guy type of politician. Sure, you
are Deputy Chief of Staff now, but come re-election I'm sending you on
your way," Josh said with a slight smile.

"You are sending me back to California?"

"I don't know yet," Josh told him. "Maybe to Connecticut or
Pennsylvania or... No matter where, you'll run for Senator or Governor
and the President will help you."

"Are you sure about that?"

"I'm sure," Josh said convinced.

"And what did you do on Sunday?"

"We went to the Botanical Garden first and then had brunch at the
National Gallery," Josh said. "Donna was pretty impressed."

"I can imagine that." Sam grinned.

"Yeah, we visited one of the exhibitions, had a late lunch, took a
long walk around the Pool and then watched the sunset at the Tidal Basin."

"Very romantic," Sam said.

"Yeah, although by that time we were pretty cold so I skipped the
Jefferson Memorial part of my plan and took her home. And then I asked
her again, she said yes again, and I gave her the ring," Josh described.

"Really?" Sam asked back with a smile. "Good for you, Josh."

"Yeah, I'm pretty lucky," Josh said with a matching smile.

"What are you planning for Valentine's Day?" Sam asked him then.

"Oh, crap!" Josh exclaimed. "It's this week, right?"

"Right," Sam nodded. "On Wednesday."

"Maybe just flowers. I think I was pretty romantic over the weekend."

"I guess Donna won't mind, but they have to be pretty impressive
flowers, Josh," Sam said.

"I'll let Ginger research their meaning," Josh said. "Ginger!" he
shouted.

"You bellowed." Ginger stepped in and threw a smile at Sam before
turning to Josh.

"I need some research," Josh said.

"Weather reports?" Ginger asked with a grin.

"No, the meaning of flowers," Josh said. "Could you print something
out and bring it to me at the end of the day?"

"Of course," Ginger said. "Dr. Becker is here," she told him then.

"Send her in, please," Josh said.

"Sam," the Surgeon General acknowledged Sam as she stepped in.

"Dr. Becker," Sam returned the greeting and then stepped out.

Josh's meeting with the Surgeon General lasted almost half an hour,
after which he was called to the Situation Room. There was an
assassination attempt on Chairman Farad's life. As a result, Israel
and Palestine once again resembled a powder keg, ready to go off in a
blazing inferno any minute. He didn't even have time for lunch with
Donna. After he emerged from the bowels of the White House he met with
Lester and Lou to brief them about the situation.

"Where are we on the Vice President?" Lester asked him at the end of
their meeting.

"Well, Baker can't be confirmed so we were rightly cautious to release
his name. We are still looking," Josh said. "We'll try to come up with
a name by the end of the week."

"Okay," Lou said with a nod.

"There is a copy of Donna's research for each of you. You can ask
Ginger for it," Josh informed them. "If someone strikes you as a
likely candidate don't hesitate to tell me."

"Donna did a research on vice presidential candidates?" Lou asked him.

"I'll let you know she was the best researcher at the White House in
her Deputy Deputy Chief of Staff days," Josh said defensively.

"And I don't doubt that, I just thought she had better to do than
helping us with this," Lou said.

"Well, yeah, I think she wanted to help *me*," Josh said with a grin
and then stood up to leave.

"I hope you'll do something very romantic for Valentine's Day," Lou
called after him.

"Yeah, I already did," Josh called back, and then turned back too.
"But I'm sending flowers."

"So you gave her a ring?" Lou asked him.

"Yup," Josh confirmed, turned again and then left for his office. He
ran into Ainsley on his way.

"Hey, Josh," Ainsley greeted him with a smile.

"Hi, Ainsley. You are coming to visit me?" he asked with a smile. He
smiled a lot this day, except when he was in the Situation Room, he
mused for a moment.

"No, I had a meeting with Amy about the language of the Waste-Bill,
and I'm on my way to the Mess," Ainsley informed him. "How are you?"

"Good. Should you have asked this morning I would have told you
fantastic but since then Israel and Palestine happened again."

"Yeah," Ainsley said with an empathic nod. "Hey, I met with Donna this
morning, she invited me to an event at the East Wing, and while I was
there I couldn't help but notice the very nice ring on her finger.
Congratulations."

"Thanks," Josh said with a grin. "Did she tell you about yesterday?"

"Indeed she did," Ainsley said with a smile. "Apparently you planned a
very romantic weekend."

"Indeed I did," Josh answered. He accompanied Ainsley to the Mess, and
they argued about the BEE-bill a bit. Then he went back to his office
and found Donna and the President there. Both of them had a folder in
their hands.

"Hi," Josh greeted them.

"Josh, tell me again why we can't snag Donna from Helen?" President
Santos asked with a grin.

"You wouldn't hear the end of it, sir," Josh retorted. "Besides, it's
irreversible as of yesterday. Not that it wasn't before, but it's
official now," he rambled on.

"Yeah, I saw Donna's ring. Nice choice," Matt Santos told him. "Josh,
did you know that there were three Vice Presidents named Johnson?"

"Yes, sir, I did," Josh said, glaring at Donna.

"It would be a nice tradition to continue. And I bet Amy would be off
your back about Carol Gelsey if we chose Lisa Johnson," the President
said.

"Yes, sir," Josh agreed. "You are seriously contemplating Ms. Johnson?
I can ask Edie and Sam..."

"I don't know yet, Josh. I think I will retire to the Residence with
this," the President said, holding up the folder.

"Alright, sir. Have a nice evening."

"You'll call if something happens over there?" the President asked,
his hand already hovering over the doorknob.

"Of course, sir," Josh reassured him.

"Thank you for this, Donna," the President said with a slight nod as
he tapped the folder in his left with his right palm. "See you tomorrow."

"Have a nice evening, sir," Donna returned. Then, after turning to
Josh, she asked, "Do you have to stay the whole night?"

"Yup," he confirmed and then watched in awe as Donna made herself
comfortable on his couch.

"What?" she asked him as he was staring at her.

"You are staying too?"

"Of course, I'm staying," Donna said as if that were the most
self-evident thing on the whole wide world. She toed off her shoes and
pulled the folder onto her lap. "You want to spend the night in that
chair?" she asked him then.

"Not when I have you on that couch," Josh said, and quickly made his
way over to her.

There was a single knock on the door, and Ginger stepped in.

"You should head home," Josh told her.

"You have to stay here tonight," Ginger answered.

"I'll stay," Donna inserted.

"Okay then," Ginger said with the hint of a smile. "Josh, I put the
thing on my desk. Just circle the items, and I'll take care of it
tomorrow morning."

"Okay," Josh said, thankful for Ginger's use of code-words. "Have a
nice evening."

"Thanks. Try to get some sleep. Bye, Donna!"

"Bye," Donna said her goodbyes and then turned to Josh. "Margaret says
it was Jessica."

"Jessica who? And what did she do?"

"Your typist, Jessica. And she was the one who sold the story to the
*DC Daily*," Donna explained.

"Makes sense," Josh said after thinking about it for a minute. "She
was there when I had that discussion with Margaret. She probably
overheard the thing about Annabeth."

"What are you going to do?" Donna asked him.

"It's not like I have tangible proof," Josh said. "I'll try to move
her someplace else when this ordeal is over."

"Okay," Donna said with a nod.

"What are you reading?" Josh asked her.

"I'm looking into some memos for the First Lady's bill."

"You already set your eyes on something?" Josh asked with an arched
eyebrow.

"Yup, Helen said I didn't need to sit around and wait for her to
settle in, that's not why she hired me. I was trying to find something
she could back, and then Margaret came to me about daycares and
nurseries."

"You think they'll fund another education bill after the BEE-bill?"

"Probably not, that's why it won't be about early childhood education,
I told Margaret we'll look into that next year. We want to possibly
tackle adoption. Maybe some regulation about national and
international adoption. There are still more than 100 000 American
children waiting to be adopted, yet last year there were more than 20
000 children adopted from foreign countries," Donna said.

"You want to forbid international adoption?" Josh asked with a frown.

"No, far from it. But, you know, some people adopted two-three
children from foreign countries. Why don't they take an American child
and two foreign children? I know they want to help, but there are
children in America who really should have the chance to grow up in a
family," she argued.

"I don't deny that. But you know that most of them, I mean the ones
who don't get adopted, are older. People like to adopt younger
children, babies," Josh said.

"I know," Donna said with a sigh. "And I know adoption is problematic.
But I think we should do something."

"You should probably look for some Representatives who adopted, or
were adopted," Josh said. "But I guess you already thought about
that," he added then when he saw Donna's glare.

"Yup, but thanks. I don't know yet, maybe there will be something else
I feel strong about," Donna said with a sigh.

"Okay," Josh said.

"Did Annabeth ask you?" Donna asked after a few minutes of silence.

"About the custody thing?" Josh asked.

"She asked," Donna drew the conclusion. "Did you say yes?"

"Yeah, I said yes," Josh said. "I know we just had that talk, but
Annabeth don't have living relatives who could take care of a baby and
I would never be able to leave Leo's child in an orphanage. You know
that."

"I know," Donna said with a sigh.

"Listen, Annabeth is a healthy woman, she told me her ob/gyn said
everything was okay. Nothing to worry about," Josh tried to reassure
Donna.

"I just don't know what happens if something happened to Annabeth."

"We could take care of the child, Donna. There would be compromises
just like if we had a child on our own," Josh said. "Did she ask you?"

"Yup. And I said yes too," Donna said with a sad smile. "I just don't
want to..."

"Let's not talk about this now, Donna," Josh said. "I said yes because
Annabeth was clearly worried about this and because I would never
leave Leo's child in the lurch, but I don't think we have to step up.
We'll help Annabeth as friends do, we'll be there for her and we'll
take care of her child should the worst happen."

"Okay," Donna said and returned her attention to her memos. Josh
pulled her feet into his lap and propped up his memo against them.

TBC



Title: A Future Worth Living For 12
Author: Joanna Lyman
Spoilers: Santos Administration
Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst
Disclaimer: I don't own any West Wing characters. This is just for
fun, so don't sue, I don't really have that much money anyways.
Rating: PG-13(but there might be later chapters rated R for language)
Summary: (Because I suck at summaries, you get a quote every time,
until I run out of them.)

It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you
quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver

A/N: Previous chapters can be found on this list, message numbers
24456, 24465, 24476, 24489, 24571, 24604, 24657, 24787, 24800, 24810,
24851.

I crave feedback. I really do, it's better than chocolate. :)

******

Josh arrived at the White House in quite a mood. He tried to remember
the good days of the last months, Inauguration Day, the weekend he
spent with Donna, the day Vice President Johnson was sworn in and the
day the BEE-bill passed in both the House and the Senate. He somehow
had to muster up the strength that would get him through this hell of
a day. He woke up early to find his bed empty, showered alone and
drank the first coffee of the day (decaf) alone. To put it simply, he
missed Donna.

Ginger must have arrived mere minutes before him because her tea was
still hot but she was not at her desk. She was probably with Ronna,
synching the President's schedule with his. Josh hoped the new girl in
the office was proactive enough to brew coffee first thing in the
morning. He went over to the coffee pot and let out a disappointed
sigh. There was no coffee in sight. He decided to go down to the Mess
although the coffee there was nowhere near the coffee they could
prepare in the office. He ran into Ainsley on his way back and asked
her to accompany him to the Senior Staff meeting. He knew Leo never
invited Lionel Tribbey or Oliver Babbish to Senior Staff meetings but
he wasn't Leo, which was clear for everyone who bothered to take a
closer look. He liked having Ainsley there; she kept them on their
toes. Lou and Sam had many a debate with her, and Ainsley was
especially talented when it came to show Amy the error of her ways.
Josh enjoyed it the best when Ainsley and Donna joined forces at the
staff meetings. At that thought his face darkened again.

"Who killed your puppy?" Lou asked him when he and Ainsley stepped
into his office.

"He misses Donna," Ginger, who was there to take the minutes, piped up.

"Donna is away with the First Lady," Sam explained at the same moment
and then grinned at Ginger, who grinned back.

"Okay, we have a country to run, people," Josh ended the
conversation-on-the-side.

"The Terrorism Prevention Act learned to walk, Josh," Edie told him.

"I know, Andie Wyatt already told me," Josh said with a sigh. "I
managed to convince Tracey and Hanson to drop it but I forgot about
Henry's love of everything anti-terrorism."

"Yeah, we have to squash this," Lou said.

"I'll take care of it," Josh promised her. "Okay, where are we on the
Prime Minister's visit? Bram, everything okay on the protocol-side?"
Josh asked the young man.

"Yep," Bram said. "We met with the ambassador's people and worked out
the details."

"Okay. Sam?"

"I met with the ambassador, and we agreed on the talking points," Sam
said. "May I just state that she is not as much fun as Lord Marbury
had been."

"You prefer a lunatic?" Amy asked him.

"He was colorful," Sam retorted. There was little love lost between
him and Amy these days. Josh never asked for the reason but he didn't
mind as long as they were civil enough to each other and worked well
with each other.

"Okay, Amy and Ainsley, I want you with me when I talk to Senator
Henry," Josh said, looking at Amy and then at Ainsley. Amy made a
grimace, Ainsley only nodded. "Sam and Bram, I trust you with this
meeting with the Prime Minister but I want a memo on the preparations
and the talking points. Before I forget, Bram, call Margaret Hooper
and ask her who runs the preparations for the Prime Minister's visit
at the East Wing."

"Why?" Bram asked back.

"Because the Prime Minister is bringing her husband, and they are
probably taking care of that end of the visit. I bet they already
talked to someone at the British Embassy, but I want you to ask. Be
nice, Margaret is a friend of mine," Josh said with a grin.

"I know," Bram said with a matching grin.

"Edie, who is running for Tillman's seat?" Josh asked Edie. The
Governor suffered an unexpected stroke and died a week ago. The White
House sent Sam for the funeral, and Josh asked Edie the previous day
to feel out the DNC.

"They say they don't have to decide for a while and are keeping their
options open. The lieutenant-governor acts as governor until then,"
Edie reported.

"Okay, it's not our job to find a candidate, but if you find someone,
Edie, feel free to slip me the name, and I'll talk to Barry Goodwin."

"Okay," Edie said with a grin. Yes, the position of the Governor of
California was a highly precious one to lose to the Republicans.

"Okay, I think we've covered everything for today," Josh said. "Sam,
Ainsley, please stay. Amy, we'll meet you after lunch."

"Okay," Amy said and then one by one they filed out of his office.

"What's up, Josh?" Sam asked him.

"I'm taking some Cheese Day meetings next week. I just wanted to ask
you whether you two want to participate," Josh asked them.

"Count me in," Ainsley said with a smile.

"Yeah, me too," Sam said with a smile on his own. "You don't want to
make this obligatory?"

"Somehow, I can't imagine Lou and Amy taking Cheese Day meetings. I
asked Donna, she, Annabeth and Margaret said yes. We'll keep this to
ourselves. If someone wants to join us, they are welcome, otherwise
it's our thing."

"Okay," the other two said with a nod.

"Ginger will make a list. We'll do it every third month," Josh said.

The two nodded and then left the office.

"Well, what did they say?" Ginger asked him as he stepped out of his
office.

"They are in," Josh said with a grin.

"I scheduled one for myself, if that's alright with you," Ginger asked.

"Of course," Josh said. "This will be a crappy day," he said then with
a sigh and retreated into his office while Ginger sat back to type one
of his memos with a slight grin appearing on her face.

His crappy day consisted of briefing memos, a meeting with the
Secretary of Labor and the HUD-Secretary. When Donna told him about
her travel plans three days ago, he told Ginger to schedule a lunch
meeting for him; if he couldn't eat with Donna he could at least do
something productive. He and the President ate in the Residence with
Nancy McNally, who flew in from New York for the day. They talked
about Kazakhstan and Palestine. Nancy left after lunch, Josh and the
President stayed on, sipping on their waters.

"We are quite pathetic," Matt Santos broke the silence.

"Yes, sir," Josh agreed with a grimace.

"Next time, we should schedule something and just travel with them,"
the President suggested.

"Good thinking, sir," Josh said with a smirk. "I..." he wanted to tell
him how he hated this day when his pager went off. "I have to call
back, sir."

"Okay," the President said and motioned him to the phone next to the
cupboard.

"It's me," Josh informed Ginger.

"A Dr. Hughes called me; apparently Annabeth missed her check-up in
lunch break. I called over, and Margaret told me they hadn't seen her
since eleven when she told them she would take a long lunch break and
go to the doctor," Ginger rattled off. "I called her cell, but no one
picked up. I paged her, but she didn't answer that either. I called
her flat but I got the answering machine."

"Okay, try the whole procedure again," Josh said. "But first put me
through to the MPDC."

"Okay," Ginger said.

Two minutes later, Josh was talking to the Chief of Police Leslie
Baynard. She wasn't as compliant as he expected. He briefly wondered
what the Chief would do if he sicced the President on her, but he
didn't want to piss her off in case he really needed her later. But
apparently the President thought otherwise, he pulled the phone from
Josh's hands and asked the Chief to report to the White House at her
earliest convenience. By his tone Josh assumed that they would talk to
the Chief in a few minutes.

"I thought Annabeth went with Helen and Donna," the President said as
they made their way back to the West Wing.

"Me too," Josh said but he was preoccupied. His mind filled with
scenarios, one more horrible than the other.

"Josh, don't you get into a tizzy over this now. We need to keep a
clear head in case something really happened to Annabeth," the
President warned him.

"I have an overactive imagination," he explained.

"I know," the President said and flashed a grin at him. "Try to stay
calm and let me talk to the Chief."

"Of course, sir," Josh said with a nod.

"I mean it, Josh. We don't want to piss her off, we might need her
later," the President pressed on.

"I know, sir," Josh said and then reached out for his Blackberry. He
dialed his office, "Hi, Ginger, any news?"

"No, still no answer. Margaret is here, we are trying simultaneously,"
Ginger informed him.

"Okay," Josh said and then shook his head when the President looked at
him with an arched eyebrow. "It's not like Annabeth," he said in a low
voice. "She would have told me if she wanted to take the day off. She
knows I worry."

"We'll find her, Josh," the President tried to reassure him.

"She is pregnant," Josh told him in a low voice.

"I know," the President said with a sigh.

Ron Butterfield was waiting for them on the portico, and they entered
the Oval Office together.

"I'm gonna call Donna," Josh said, gesturing towards his office.

"You can call her from here," the President told him.

"Thank you, sir," Josh said, took several steps away from the
President and the head of the presidential detail and then hit 1 on
his Blackberry. While waiting for Donna to pick up, he listened to Ron
giving a status report on Peter, Miranda and Helen.

"Hi," Donna greeted him, and he could hear the smile in her voice.

"Hi," Josh said.

"What's wrong?" Donna asked him, apparently she heard something in his
voice too.

"We can't find Annabeth," Josh told her simply.

"Have you..."

"She missed her check-up in the lunch break," Josh interrupted her.
"She didn't answer her phones and pager."

"We are on our way to the chopper, we should be at home in two hours,"
Donna said.

Josh let out a relieved sigh, he dealt better with crises when Donna
was around. He heard Helen Santos query what was wrong and Donna
telling her the news.

"Josh," he heard then the First Lady's voice.

"Yes, ma'am?" Josh asked her and saw the President's heard turn
towards him.

"We'll find her, and I'll keep an eye on Donna," Helen said.

"Thank you, ma'am," Josh said with a slight smile. With those simple
words Helen Santos managed to calm his fears somewhat.

"Tell Matthew we are heading home," Helen told him and then disconnected.

"They are heading home," Josh told the President.

"Thank God."

There was a knock from door that connected Josh's office with the Oval.

"Come in!" Matt Santos gave his permission.

Sam, Lou and Lester entered, followed by Ginger and Margaret.

"Ginger?" Josh asked his assistant.

"Still nothing," Ginger said, shaking her head. Josh saw she was
worried, she was wringing her hands and kept stealing glances at
Margaret.

"Margaret, thanks for helping," Josh said.

"Anytime," the tall red-head answered him and then both assistants
left the Oval Office to try to reach Annabeth again.

Josh told the others they were awaiting the Chief of Police and they
nodded in unison. Sam stepped up next to him, and Josh was grateful
for the moral support. Ron Butterfield left the room without a word,
and Josh looked after him with a frown.

"I told him to locate Annabeth's car," the President told Josh. "At
least that's doing something. I know the police can't do anything for
a while, they have those stupid missing people rules." His voice was
clearly frustrated.

As if on cue, Ronna poked her head in, "Chief Baynard is here, sir."

"Josh," the President reminded him on their previous agreement, and
Josh nodded compliantly.

"Welcome to the White House, Chief." President Santos greeted Leslie
Baynard with a handshake. "Thanks for coming right away."

"Yes, sir," the Chief said, throwing an unfathomable look at Josh. "I
already sent someone to Ms. Schott's flat, they will report back as
soon as they arrived."

"Thank you," the President said. "Josh, why don't you call Ginger in,
she could inform the Chief about what happened."

Josh nodded and headed towards his office when he felt his Blackberry
starting to vibrate. He pulled out his phone and looked down at the
display.

"Annabeth?" He asked after picking up. Every head turned to him at once.

"No, Mr. Lyman," he heard an unfamiliar female voice answer in mock
sweetness.

"Who are you?" Josh asked her and felt his heart beat faster. The
situation was clearly heading into a direction he envisioned with his
overactive imagination.

"I'm the one who holds your bitch and more importantly, your spawn. If
you ever want to see them alive again, you better listen."

TBC



Title: A Future Worth Living For 13
Author: Joanna Lyman
Spoilers: Santos Administration
Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst
Disclaimer: I don't own any West Wing characters. This is just for
fun, so don't sue, I don't really have that much money anyways.
Rating: PG-13(but there might be later chapters rated R for language)
Summary: (Because I suck at summaries, you get a quote every time,
until I run out of them.)

Simply having children does not make mothers. ~John A. Shedd

A/N: Previous chapters can be found on this list, message numbers
24456, 24465, 24476, 24489, 24571, 24604, 24657, 24787, 24800, 24810,
24851, 24899.

A/N #2: It's a rather lengthy chapter and doesn't really contain any
J/D until the end of it but then it brings something downright mushy. ;)

I'm very grateful for all the feedback so far! Thank you very much.
And if you still like the story, just drop me a line, it makes my day.

******

Josh took a deep breath and nodded. Then he realized the kidnapper
couldn't see him, so he told her he was listening. Meanwhile, he
motioned to Lou to give him her clipboard and pen.

"I want half a million dollars in small, unmarked bills," the woman said.

"Nothing else?" Josh asked while scribbling down one word, `FBI'.

"Nothing else. I know you'll call the FBI, I also know you have the
money, Mr. Lyman. Do not fuck with me or your little mistress dies,"
the woman said.

"I want to talk to her" Josh said to the already dead line. "Well,
that was predictable."

"Who was it?" Chief Baynard asked him.

"A woman, she didn't tell me her name though." Josh's voice was
dripping with sarcasm. "I'm sorry Chief, but I think it's the FBI's
case now."

He crossed the room in three strides and wanted to enter his office
but stayed still, his hand on the doorknob. He turned back to the
others and frowned. There was no use for all of them stand around and
wait for the developments.

"Everybody, go back to your jobs, we have a country to run. I'll keep
you apprised," he told them. Not waiting for them to follow his order,
he opened the door.

"But Josh..." Sam wanted to say, but Josh turned around and cut off his
deputy.

"I think you and Edie have a meeting with Senator Baynes and his
little entourage," he said, and then turned to Lou and Lester.
"Lester's afternoon briefing is only twenty minutes away; I strongly
hope everything is okay."

"What do we say should they ask us why the Chief was asked to the
White House?"

"We don't give out information about an ongoing investigation," Josh
said. "Sir, I think the Secretary of Transportation is waiting for you."

"Yes, yes," President Santos said, and ushered everyone outside. "Josh
is right, people; we have a country to run."

"I can't believe..." Josh heard Lester say while his eyes met the
President's. They both nodded, the President, acknowledging Josh's
change of priority, gave him permission to leave and dedicate himself
to Annabeth's case.

"Ginger," he called out when he finally stepped into his office.

"Yes?" Ginger called back. "Did you find her?"

"I'll need Ron and the FBI's Assistant Director in Charge," Josh told
her.

"Oh my God! She was kidnapped?" Margaret asked.

"Yes, Margaret. I need those two as soon as possible," Josh said
rather impatiently. He just wanted to do something. This helplessness
did nothing to his state of mind. He was on the edge; he was
practically bursting with excess energy. He needed to do something.

"I'll take care of it, Ginger. You have to reschedule Josh's
meetings," Margaret said, turning to the younger assistant.

"Margaret," Josh called after her.

"Yes?"

"Thanks. Would you call Donna and brief her?" Josh asked her and then
picked up his phone. He didn't dare to use his Blackberry in case they
wanted to contact him again. "Hi, Mom." He greeted his mother and
quickly filled her in.

"You are going to need money?" his mother asked him without further ado.

"Yes, Mom. The $250,000 Dad left us," Josh said, inhaling sharply as
he awaited his mother's answer. He wasn't disappointed and he let out
a relieved sigh when his mother answered positively.

"I'll drive to the bank and make the transfer right away."

"Thank you, Mom."

"I love you, Joshua. Let me know if you need something else," Rebeka
Lyman said.

"I love you too," Josh said and then placed back the receiver. He
needed another $250,000. He contemplated his options and then picked
up the phone again. "Hi, Mrs. Bartlet," he greeted the former First Lady.

"Josh, what a surprise. Is this a social call or..."

"Annabeth was kidnapped, they are demanding half a million dollars."

"And you don't have the money," Mrs. Bartlet stated rather than asked.

"I only have $250,000," Josh confirmed.

"Okay, let me talk to Jed, he handles the finances. We'll call you
back in ten," Mrs. Bartlet said.

"Thank you, ma'am," Josh said and hung up. He noticed Sam loitering in
the ante-room and stepped outside to talk to him. He was touched by
his concern. Of course he had no inclination to tell his friend this,
but by acknowledging his presence, he did the next best thing. Ginger
was on the phone to Senator Henry, and Margaret was calling the FBI's
Washington Office.

"Josh, if you need it, I have some money," Sam offered.

"How much?" Josh asked him.

"$100,000 if I get to my bank right away," Sam said.

"Okay, tell Zelda to reschedule your meetings for the afternoon," Josh
said and then noticed Ron Butterfield approach his office. "Ron, I'll
need an agent with Sam when he goes to the bank."

"Of course," Ron said. "You have the money?"

"Yes, although I'll need my bank to be still open when they transfer
me the sum," Josh said.

"The Feds are going to take care of that," Ron said. "You just need to
call ahead so that they have the necessary money at the ready."

"The Director and the Assistant Director in Charge are on their way,"
Margaret informed them.

"Good. Margaret, we'll probably need you for the rest of the day. Is
there someone who could pick up your son from the nursery?"

"My sister," Margaret said. "I already called her."

"Thank you," Josh said and then turned back to Sam and Ron. He took a
deep breath, calmed his fears and told them, "I called Mrs. Bartlet,
she is getting back to me in ten minutes. They didn't tell me anything
else just gave their demand, Ron. Is that usual?"

"They want you to get the money," Ron said.

"Well, they know how to play this game then, because it's exactly what
I'm doing. What do you think, when are they going to call me again?"

"In an hour, maybe two hours," Ron guessed. "Josh, the FBI is going to
take care of the case, I don't want to slug it out who is going to be
in charge."

"Okay, but I want you here with me while I talk to them, if that's
possible."

"Of course," Ron said. "Let me call an agent for Sam and I'll come
back after that."

"Okay," Josh said and watched Sam and Ron go away, thanking his lucky
stars for having such a great friend.

"Senator Henry was extremely pissed," Ginger interrupted his thoughts.

"Do I look like I care about Senator Henry's feelings?" Josh snapped;
the anger and the fear finally taking over. He knew there will be a
breaking point but he was sorry for snapping at Ginger. Especially,
when he saw Ginger recoil, and Margaret throwing him a threatening glare.

"But I care about your feelings so I shouldn't take it out on you,"
Josh said and then apologized to Ginger.

"He said he wanted to come over. I told him I have to call him back in
ten minutes."

"He wants to come over?" Josh asked back incredulously.

"Yes," Ginger said.

He didn't understand. He heard Ginger telling the old curmudgeon that
they had a crisis to deal with. Why he wanted to come over was a
mystery. Maybe he wanted to use the crisis to his advantage, knowing
that Josh's head would probably not be in the game. Okay, he could
come over and then learn not to mess with him at times like these.

"Okay, tell him he can come over," Josh said. "I think..."

"I think Ginger shouldn't call him back," Ainsley cut him off.

"Why the hell not?" Josh asked her in a raised voice. "I will show him
his place once and for all."

"Josh, you'll need his support for upcoming bills. You have to talk to
him and..."

"Annabeth was kidnapped, Ainsley," Josh interrupted her.

"Yeah, I know, I met Sam and Ron on my way. Let me and Amy take the
meeting with him on the Hill."

"No, let him come over, and I'll take the meeting with him," Matt
Santos' voice took all of them by surprise.

"Sir, I don't want him to think he caused enough trouble for you to
step in," Josh said.

"Ginger, call the man and ask him to come over, tell him we are
dealing with a crisis but we are ready to talk to him," the President
ordered.

"At least let Ainsley sit in on the meeting," Josh asked the President.

"Of course. Ainsley, Ronna is going to call you as soon as Henry
arrives," Santos said.

"Thank you, sir," Ainsley said, and both she and Josh looked after the
man as he left the room. "If you need some money..." she started to stay
but was interrupted by the ringing of the phone.

"Stay, please," Josh said and then picked up the phone. "Josh Lyman."

"Josh," he heard President Bartlet's voice.

"Mr. President, thank you for calling back so soon," Josh said.

"We only have $100,000 at the ready, will it be enough?" President
Bartlet got to the point straight away.

"Yes, sir. Sam is helping me out," Josh said. "Could you transfer the
money as soon as possible?"

"Of course, Josh," the former President said and wrote down the
account number Josh gave through.

"Thank you, sir. I promise I'm..." Josh wanted to promise to pay back
the money, but President Bartlet cut him off.

"It's Leo's child, Josh," he said simply.

"Yes, sir," Josh said taken aback. "I didn't know you knew about that."

"Mallory and Abbey talked about it. Apparently Annabeth wanted us to
know but didn't know how to tell us," Jed Bartlet explained.

"I see. Thank you again, sir."

"Call me if you have any news on her."

After replacing the receiver, Josh turned back to Ainsley, "You were
telling me?"

"If you need money, I have some," Ainsley offered.

"Thank you, I'll need $50,000. Do you have that much?" he asked her.

"Yes," Ainsley said. "But if I have to go to the bank, I won't be able
to sit in on the meeting with Senator Henry."

"I'll join the President," Josh said in a low voice. "Ginger will pull
me out if something happens, and I'll have my Blackberry with me."

"Okay," Ainsley said and rose.

"Wait until Sam's back and then take the agent with you," Josh told
her. "I'll inform Ron about this."

Ainsley nodded and then left his office. Josh, not knowing what to do,
knocked on the door to the Oval. Deep in his heart he needed some
reassurance that everything would be alright. Deep in his heart he
knew if there was someone who could reassure him it was the President.
He radiated confidence and a certain serenity to which Josh responded
very well. He realized that Matthew Santos became a President in the
last months. He was proud and despite the circumstances, happy. During
transition he was laying many a night awake. That's when the doubts
came. `What if Matthew Santos won't be able to make the transition
from President-Elect to President?' `What if they got stuck with an
enthusiastic amateur?' But his fears turned out to be just those, fears.

"Josh, did you hear something?" the President asked.

"No, sir," Josh said and then took a deep breath. And then the
overwhelming feeling of being guilty overtook him. He realized in the
past months he didn't do anything that would have ensured Annabeth
safety. He just had those stupid, sometimes awkward teas together with
her, asking her about the baby, but never making sure *she* was fine.
Maybe she felt someone following her. Maybe she would have told him
something if he wouldn't have been only concerned about the baby. He
just hoped that Donna was a better friend to Annabeth than he was. But
he knew that they both were the immediate cause of the situation. They
both told Annabeth not to have an interview with the *DC Daily*. They
convinced her despite her protestations. They were wrong and now
because of them, and mostly him, Annabeth was kidnapped.

"What's wrong, Josh?" President Santos apparently sensed his mood.

"It's my fault. She wanted to tell them it was Leo's child," Josh
whispered.

"Josh, it's not your fault. First, it's nobody's business who the
father is, it shouldn't have been an issue. And second, what right do
they have to kidnap someone just because they think she is close to
the Chief of Staff?" Matt Santos asked.

"I could have..." Josh said, but the President interrupted him.

"No, Josh, there was nothing you could have done. It's the hand we
were dealt, we will take care of it," President Santos tried to
reassure him.

"Yes, sir," Josh said.

"Josh, don't wallow in this guilt. It's not healthy and it's certainly
not helping. When Annabeth gets home, she'll need every one of us.
Your guilt would only interfere with that," the President said.

Josh only nodded and then, after telling him he would sit in on the
meeting with Henry, he left his boss alone. He felt a little bit more
positive but was still jumpy and edgy.

Ron, the Director of the FBI and the Assistant Director in Charge were
already waiting for him in his office when he returned from the Oval.

"We located Annabeth's car," Ron told him. "It was parked at the
Medical Centre."

"We are sending two agents there," George Peterson, the Assistant
Director in Charge, said.

"Thanks, Ron." Josh thanked Ron and then turned to the two federal
agents, "John, George, thanks for coming. Margaret briefed you?"

"Yes, in great detail," George said with a slight smile. "We have a
team on the case. They'll arrive soon to tap your phone."

Josh nodded and then said, "I'll have the money together, I just need
my bank to be open when the transfers are done," Josh said.

"No problem," John Kane said. "Why don't you give me the name of your
bank, and I'll give them a call."

"Okay, thanks."

"Josh, you know we don't want you to give them the money," George told
him.

"I know the FBI's policy, George," Josh said with a nod. "She is
pregnant, that's all I have to say."

"We understand, but at least tell them to give you some time."

"They didn't set any deadlines," Josh told the agents.

"We know, but you have to stall them somehow. We need time to find
them. You know there is still a fifty percent chance that you'll never
see her again."

"Yes, I know. But I don't want to jeopardize Annabeth's and the baby's
life unnecessary. If I or you get the feeling that they are going to
harm her anyway then we are going to stall, otherwise I'm sure you'll
find them after Annabeth is free again," Josh told them.

"Okay, Josh," John agreed and then turned to his colleague to talk
about possible exchange scenarios. Josh listened to them until Ron
touched his arm.

"Josh. Maybe you should tell them the truth," Ron whispered to him.

"I don't think so," Josh whispered back. "Right now they'll do
everything because they think too that it's my kid."

"I just hope Annabeth won't decide to spill the beans now," Ron said
with a dark face.

"She knows it's no use now," Josh reassured the Secret Service agent.
"She is very smart, you know."

His office phone rang after the exchange, and John Kane picked up,
telling them he had his calls transferred to Josh's phone.

"I'm putting you on speakerphone," he told the caller after a few
moments.

"Sir, we checked out the cameras, she was tricked. There was a
pregnant woman who lured her to her car and that's when they pushed
her in," a somehow familiar voice informed them about their finding.

"Thank you, Mike," Director Kane said, and Josh realized why the voice
was so familiar.

"Hey, Mike," he greeted the agent.

"Hi, Josh," the agent returned the greeting. "We have a partial plate
number, let me check this out and I'll get back to you as soon as
possible."

"Okay, thanks," he said and then looked down at his watch. The phone
call from the kidnapper came a little more than an hour ago. Annabeth
must be very scared by now, he thought, but then tried to focus on the
problem at hand. He could call Stanley Keyworth and as many trauma
psychiatrists as needed, but right now they needed to free Annabeth,
her mental health was secondary.

After a single knock Ginger poked her head in, "They are waiting for
you in the Oval Office. Sam wanted me to tell you that he is on his
way back."

"Okay, thanks. Would you take care of our guests, Ginger? And pull me
out if something happens."

"Josh, leave your Blackberry here, we'll call you when it rings," Ron
told him.

"Alright," Josh said and then left for the meeting in the Oval Office.

After more than half an hour of listening to Senator Henry's
`concerns' Josh was about to explode. Or kill the senator. The old
coot was getting on his nerves, and he noticed that the President's
patience was wearing thin too. He glanced at his watch for probably
the thousandth time; the only difference this time was that he was
called on it.

"Do I bore you, Mr. Lyman?" Senator Henry asked him.

Josh deliberately hesitated for a moment too long before answering,
"No, Senator."

"Because you keep looking down at your watch," Senator Henry said.

"You have to forgive Josh, Senator," President Santos said. "We have a
crisis a little too close to home, and I asked Josh to take care of
this meeting despite that, because I thought you'd have something
important to tell us."

Josh's eyes were fixed on the President's face, and thus he was able
the notice the small sarcastic smile that appeared on his face.

"May I ask what the crisis de jour is? Perhaps another article about
your love life?" Senator Henry asked, and the next thing Josh noticed
was that he was towering above the little old Senator, which pose
combined with his lethal stare seemed quite threatening.

"I'll make you apologize to Annabeth Schott when she gets freed, sir,"
Josh promised menacingly and then retreated from the room to his
office, leaving Robert Henry to the President.

There were three more agents in his office, apparently setting up a
command control type of thing, and one of them was tapping his phone
into the system.

"Both Sam and Ainsley are back. Donna and the First Lady are about to
land," Ginger told him as she walked in with a tray of coffee cups,
Margaret followed with a coffee pot.

"Ron, could you please tell the agents to direct her to my office?"
Josh asked Agent Butterfield, who nodded in return.

Donna just arrived at his office when his Blackberry started to ring.
She stepped into the room and hurried to Josh side, taking his hand
into hers as he picked up the phone.

"Lyman."

"Well, good afternoon, Mr. Lyman," the woman said. "Do you have my
money?"

"I have only $150,000 right now, I'm waiting for two transfers before
I can get the rest," Josh said.

"Well, lucky for you I believe you, Mr. Lyman. I guess Mr. Seaborn and
Ms. Hayes were both very forthcoming."

"Yes, they were," Josh agreed, trying not to show his perplexity about
the fact that the kidnapper knew that Ainsley and Sam left the White
House to get the money. It probably meant that the White House was
being watched. Josh saw Ron rising and that confirmed his suspicions.
Holding onto Donna's hand, he took a deep breath before uttering his
only demand, "I want to talk to Annabeth."

"I will call you back, Mr. Lyman," she said and then hung up.

"Damn," he heard one of the FBI agents. "We couldn't locate her."

"Hi," he greeted Donna and hugged her tight.

"I love you," Donna whispered to him while she was gently rubbing his
back.

"I'm so glad you are here," Josh confessed, and felt Donna's head bob
in agreement.

"I was so worried about you," she whispered.

"About me?" Josh asked back incredulously.

"Of course, I know how your mind works, Josh. I know what you are
thinking, but you cannot let guilt consume you," Donna said. "It
wasn't your fault that article appeared in that rag and it wasn't your
fault she was kidnapped. Please, no guilt trips, okay?" she asked him
and he felt himself agree without even thinking about it.

"But only if you don't start with it," Josh said as their foreheads
touched.

His phone rang, so he extricated himself from the hug and picked up again.

"Josh?" he heard Annabeth's voice. She sounded scared.

TBC



Title: A Future Worth Living For 14
Author: Joanna Lyman
Spoilers: Santos Administration
Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst
Disclaimer: I don't own any West Wing characters. This is just for
fun, so don't sue, I don't really have that much money anyways.
Rating: PG-13(but there might be later chapters rated R for language)
Summary: (Because I suck at summaries, you get a quote every time,
until I run out of them.)

Sing out loud in the car even, or especially, if it embarrasses your
children. ~Marilyn Penland

A/N: Previous chapters can be found on this list, message numbers
24456, 24465, 24476, 24489, 24571, 24604, 24657, 24787, 24800, 24810,
24851, 24899, 24900.

A/N #2: I think there will be an Epilogue after this, but nothing is
for sure right now. All I know is that I'm secretly (that means until
now) writing an AU story, but I really want to finish this one before.

Thanks for all the fantastic feedback so far. If you still like the
story, just drop me a line, it truly makes my day.

******

"Annabeth, how are you?" Josh asked her.

"I felt a flutter, the baby is okay," Annabeth sobbed.

Josh was ashamed. He had now the confirmation that Annabeth knew how
he neglected *her* in favor of the baby. But he would remedy that from
now on, he promised himself.

"I was asking about you, Annabeth," Josh clarified.

"I'm okay. Just a bit scared," Annabeth said, and Josh was relieved to
hear her voice a bit stronger and lighter.

"I'm getting the money together, Annabeth. You just hold on," Josh said.

"Thank you," Annabeth said.

"And Annabeth," Josh added.

"Yes?"

"No false heroics, we are in this together, let me help you," Josh
said, hoping that the message he wanted to convey was clear.

"I know, it's no use," Annabeth said, confirming that she understood
the message.

"I'll call you back in two hours, Mr. Lyman," the kidnapper said and
then hung up again.

Josh looked over to the agents, but they shook their head again. Yeah,
he knew, the conversation was too short for the tracing to be
successful. He pulled Donna into his embrace once more and buried his
head in her hair. He took a deep breath, letting her perfume and
unique scent calm him down. When he looked up, the President and the
First Lady were standing in the door.

"Josh?" the President asked.

"I have to go to the bank," Josh told Donna, caressing her face with
the back of his hand. "She is okay," he added then to reassure the
Santoses. "She is okay," he repeated in a whisper. At last, he turned
to the agents, "I'll need my Blackberry."

"Josh, she said she would call back in two hours," George Peterson
reminded him.

"I know, but still," Josh said.

"I'll stay here and I'll talk to her should she call you again," Donna
offered. "If she read that article careful enough she knows where I
stand in this story."

"I don't want you to get involved," Josh protested vehemently.

"I think it's too late for that, Joshua," Donna said, putting her hand
on his left arm. "Let me do this for you. For Annabeth, for Leo," she
added the final name in a whisper.

"Okay." Josh agreed and then turned to Ron, "I'll need an agent."

"Ollie will drive you, and Mark is ready to escort you to the bank and
back," Ron informed him.

"The manager knows you are going," Director Kane added then.

"Thanks, everyone," Josh said and then left his office. On his way out
he made a quick detour to Sam's office, Ainsley was there too.

"Josh," Sam acknowledged his presence. Ainsley turned to him too, the
same question written over the two faces, `Will Annabeth be alright?'

"She is okay, I talked to her. Both she and the baby are okay," he
said. "I'm on my way to the bank. Thanks for everything you did so
far. I'll need you later, so don't leave please."

"Didn't plan to," Sam said. Ainsley's answer came at the same moment,
"We won't."

"Donna is in my office, maybe..." Josh wanted to suggest to Sam to keep
Donna company, but both of them nodded.

"We'll bring her some coffee," his friend said.

"And some Danish," Ainsley added with a smile tugging at the corner of
her mouth.

"Thanks, guys, you are the best," Josh told them and then really left
the building.

Two hours later, nine people congregated in Josh's office, which with
the occupants and the equipment inside seemed to getting smaller and
smaller. The Director of the FBI had to leave, but George Peterson,
Mike Casper and two technicians were there with Josh, Donna, Ron and
the First Couple. Josh knew that Sam, Ainsley, Ginger and Margaret
were waiting in the ante-room of his office.

"And you can't trace Annabeth's phone?" Josh broke the silence.

"Not when it's turned off," Mike said. "She must switch it off as soon
as she hangs up. Besides, they are on the move."

"How do you know?"

"Each time she called the tracing indicated another direction," Mike
explained.

"I see," Josh said with a nod, and they fell silent again.

His phone rang five minutes later. He picked up when the agents
signaled him it was okay.

"Lyman."

"Good evening, Mr. Lyman," the kidnapper said. "I think you have what
I want."

"Yes," Josh confirmed.

"Wonderful," the woman said in a fake airy voice. "Since they are
still all at the White House, Ms. Moss, Ms. Hayes, Ms. Taylor and Ms.
Hooper will deliver the money for me."

"No, they don't need to get involved. I'll bring the money anywhere
you tell me to," Josh said.

"No!" The woman's voice had no trace of the previous airiness. And
then she hung up again.

The assembled agents quickly debated whether they should call back,
but the phone's ringing made the discussion pointless.

"I told you not to fuck with me, Mr. Lyman," the kidnapper said. "Ms.
Moss, Ms. Hayes, Ms. Taylor and Ms. Hooper. Each will bring a black
backpack with 125,000 dollars. Ms. Moss goes to the Lincoln Memorial,
Ms. Taylor to the Jefferson Memorial, Ms. Hayes to the FDR Memorial
and Ms. Hooper to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. I'll call them with
instructions after 11.30; they should be there by that time."

"Wait!" Josh cried out.

"Yes, Mr. Lyman?"

"How do I get Annabeth back?"

"Once I have all the money I'll call you and you can pick her up
tomorrow in the morning," the woman said. "No tricks, Mr. Lyman. There
will be a sharpshooter's rifle trained at each woman. If they notice
something out of order, they have my permission to shoot. Once there
is a dead body, nothing keeps me from killing Ms. Schott too. Nobody
follows the money; nobody puts tracking devices into the backpacks. I
know where you live; I know where your loved ones live and I have
relatives and friends who will be glad to avenge my death should
something happen to me. You let me go with my money, and you can
forget about me."

"I'll do whatever you want me to do, just don't hurt them, please,"
Josh begged her.

"We'll see, Mr. Lyman, have a good night," the kidnapper said and hung
up.

Josh stood up and called the three women and Sam in. He quickly filled
them in, telling them they would not have to do it if they didn't want
to. The three women assured him that they were ready to do this for
Annabeth. Mike and George left to bring back four backpacks and the
bullet-proof vests.

"But how will she know our cell numbers?" Donna asked.

"From Annabeth's phone," Josh said.

"I don't think Annabeth has Ginger's and Ainsley's cell stored," Donna
said.

"She has," Ginger said. "Josh wanted me to have her number stored in
my cell phone and in turn I gave her my number."

"And we swapped numbers after a gourmet spree last Saturday," Ainsley
said.

"Okay," Donna said.

Once Peterson came back (Mike was arranging the security details for
the women), they distributed the money to the four backpacks. Ainsley,
Ginger, Margaret and Donna pulled on the bullet-proof vests. Josh
heard Ainsley tell Donna how it was useless if someone aimed at the
head. It did nothing good to his already frayed nerves. Sam was
quietly talking to the President; the First Lady retreated to the
Residence in order to check on Miranda and Peter. According to Lou,
who appeared after the phone call, Lester was waiting in his office
with Bram and Otto. There was a certain amount of nervous excitement
in the room, but Josh felt suddenly very tired. He had nothing more to
do, it was up to the four remarkable women to complete *his* job. He
was doomed to wait.

And waiting they did. Mike came back and instructed the women what
they had to do in order to ensure their own safety. He distributed
five earpieces; he brought one for Josh too, for which he was
extremely grateful. They put up the command centre in a van, which was
parked near the Cherry Trees. Then they waited again. Ainsley
suggested ordering Chinese, and they did. They ate in silence, one of
them occasionally breaking the silence for a question or two. And then
it was time.

"Please, be careful," Josh told the four of them.

"We will," they answered in unison.

He pulled Donna into a big hug, kissed her and then hugged the other
three too.

"Thank you for doing this," he whispered every time.

"We have to go," Mike said and then escorted the women out.

The President, Ron, Josh, Sam and Lou waited in his office with George
Peterson and the two technicians. The kidnapper wanted to call Josh
one more time, so they stayed.

The woman called Donna, who in turn had to call Ainsley, and Margaret,
who had to call Ginger. Donna had to bring the backpack to the columns
of the Lincoln Memorial (between Georgia and Connecticut), hold it
loosely in her hand and let it go if someone grabbed it. Ainsley was
to leave the bag at the statue of FDR with his dog. Margaret was
instructed to drop the bag at the Three Soldiers statue near the
Vietnam Veterans Memorial, and Ginger was directed to Jefferson's
statue.

Josh deemed Donna's task the most dangerous; she had to come in
contact with someone in order to obey the order. She told them she was
positioned between the Georgia and Connecticut columns, and one of
Mike's agents confirmed that they were watching her. There were quite
a few tourists milling around, she reported.

"We lost visual contact with the principal," Josh heard the agent two
minutes later. "Correction, she is right there. She is approaching the
statue. She still has the backpack. I repeat, the bag is still there."

Meanwhile, Margaret reported that she dropped off the bag and was on
her way back. Two minutes later, Ginger informed them that she
completed the task too. Ainsley said there were some tourists at
Fala's statue, and she had to take a picture of them with the dog, but
now she placed the bag and withdrew.

"Donna?" Josh heard Mike's voice, but there was no answer. "Donna?"
the special agent repeated.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked, apparently clued in by the contorting of
Josh's face.

"We lost contact with Donna," Josh told them. He was already on his
phone, dialing her. It rang a really long time before someone picked
up. "Donna?" he shouted into the phone.

"Yeah," Donna said in a weak voice. "My head hurts, Josh."

"Sorry for shouting, we lost contact and I..."

"You flipped," Donna ended the sentence for him. "Yeah, they just put
something evil smelling over my nose, and I passed out for a moment.
The bag is gone."

"I don't care. Are you okay? Do you need an ambulance?"

"Mike is here," Donna said, and Josh let out a relieved sigh.
Everything will be okay now, he muttered under his breath.

It turned out that the person the agent saw was another tall blonde,
but not Donna. And while they were watching that woman, the
kidnapper's accomplice took out Donna, grabbed the money and fled.

Ron disappeared before Mike brought Donna back to the White House, but
came back with the Navy Officer from the White House Medical Unit.

"We'll need the room," Lt. Commander Black asked.

"You can use my office," Sam offered, and Josh nodded. To disassemble
all the equipment would have slowed down the examination.

"Or," Matt Santos started, "we could use mine, since it's the closest."

"Thank you, sir," Josh said and watched as Donna, a female Secret
Service agent, who seemed to have appeared out of thin air, and Lt.
Commander Black entered the Oval Office.

"I'm putting a team on all four women," Ron told Josh. "And of course
on Annabeth once you bring her back."

"Okay." Josh knew Donna would protest but this time he won't listen.
He already wanted to put a team on her when she received threats,
saying she was doomed because she was sleeping with a Jew. But she
refused, telling Josh they were not credible threats. Ron had to agree
on that occasion, but now it was his idea, so Josh imagined Donna
would comply.

The little entourage of the three arrived back in Josh's office ten
minutes later, just when Ainsley, Margaret and Ginger were brought
back, too.

"I'm okay," Donna said when Josh stepped closer to help her stand.

"I gave her a painkiller and wanted to send her home," Lt. Commander
Black said, and Josh risked a smiled at Donna. As expected, she
scowled at him.

"I have a couch in my office," Sam offered.

"Thank you, Sam, but I..." Donna said but her voice faltered as she
swayed. Josh caught her, eased her back on his couch and sat down next
to her.

"You should really rest, Donatella," he whispered to her. "You can't
rest here, there are too many people in the room. Just humor the
Commander and take Sam's offer."

"Okay," Donna said. She stood with Josh's help and then they were
ready to leave his office. "What are you doing, Josh?" she asked as
they stepped into the ante-room.

"I'm escorting you there."

"No," Donna protested. "She might call you, we need you here. Sam can
help me," she said, turning back to Sam.

"Of course," Sam said eagerly and took Josh's place on her side
immediately. Josh scowled at him, but Sam brushed him off with a grin.

Mike returned to the command centre at the Mall, and he informed them
in regular intervals that the bags were still there. Things didn't
seem to add up, and Josh was becoming more and more frustrated as time
passed, minute after minute. He was worried about Annabeth, he was
worried about Donna, and also about Ginger, Margaret and Ainsley. The
inactivity drove him crazy. He was a man of action, and doing nothing
was hard on his nerves. And on the other's nerves too. The room let
out a collective sigh of relief when Donna came back around four in
the morning. She patted the couch next to her, and Josh sat down,
taking her hand into his. Donna rubbed his knuckles with her thumb,
making his adrenalin level sink. But soon he got agitated again as
night turned into day and the kidnapper still hadn't called.

They sat there in silence, Josh and Donna on the couch, the President
in Josh's chair, Ginger, Margaret and Ronna on chairs from the
ante-room, Lou in one of the armchairs, Ainsley opposite her. The
agents took place by their equipment. Ron was standing near the door
that connected Josh's office with the Oval. Sam, Lester, Otto and Bram
were sitting on the floor. Otto fell asleep when Donna came back and
Josh ceased his pacing. Lester and Bram exchanged amused glances as
Otto was letting out soft snoring noises.

Josh mused how this experience would forge a close bond like no other
could. For the Bartlet Administration it was Rosslyn, although Josh
hoped that there won't be any injuries or fatalities this time.

"Ron, you don't have to stand all the time," Donna broke the silence.
"Josh could pace and you could sit down next to me," Donna offered,
eliciting a grin from all around the room.

"I would rather stand, Donna, but thank you," Ron said.

"Why isn't she calling?" Josh asked ten minutes later, maybe for the
hundredth time.

"Josh," Donna warned him.

"But..."

"Mike said they didn't pick up the rest of the bags, why would she call?"

"I'm worried about Annabeth," Josh retorted.

"And you think you are the sole worrier?" Sam asked back, throwing an
impatient look at Josh.

"Is worrier even a word?" Josh shot back.

"Sure it is, and you are a born one," Ainsley quipped, accompanied
with a fake sweet smile.

"Shutting up," Josh murmured. He certainly didn't want to be at the
receiving end of a `Hayes smack-down.'

There was a collective intake of breath when his Blackberry rang
another ten minutes later.

"I have my money, Mr. Lyman, thank you very much. Ms. Schott is going
to await you at GW," the woman said and then hung up.

Josh sprung up, looking impatiently at the others.

"Ollie is waiting for you, Josh," Ron told him.

"Donna?"

"Coming," Donna said. "If she is allowed visitors we will call you. No
need for the whole White House to descend upon GW, they have a
hospital to run."

"Okay," Lou and Ainsley, the practical ones, answered at once.

"Thank you, everyone," Josh said, looking at his staff and the
President. "I couldn't have done this without you."

They nodded solemnly, and Josh left his office. He heard the President
thank them again and then he sent them home for a shower and new
clothes. Josh took Donna's hand into his once more, and they left the
White House with Donna's agent and Mark in tow. Two FBI agents
followed them in a SUV. Josh was on the phone right after they climbed
into car.

"This is White House Chief of Staff Joshua Lyman," Josh pulled out the
White House card, thinking there was no need to go seven rounds with a
hospital at this time of the day.

"Yes, Mr. Lyman?" a cheery voice asked him.

"There was an Annabeth Schott admitted earlier. I need a status report
on her."

"Sir, I'm sorry, but only her family..."

"Listen, I hold her power of attorney, so maybe you could inform me
about her condition," Josh told her.

"Josh," Donna admonished him.

"Alright, Mr. Lyman," the cheery person said. "Ms. Schott was
delivered with a mild concussion and some bruises. Nothing serious.
Her baby is in excellent health too."

"Thank you. I'll be there in a few minutes; I need to talk to her doctor."

"Of course, Mr. Lyman," the nurse said, and Josh hung up.

"She is okay, just a mild concussion and some bruises. Nothing
serious. The baby is okay too," Josh relayed the information to Donna.
"We'll take her home with us?"

"Yes, and I'll stay with her today. Then we need to think about a
permanent solution."

"I'll call Mallory and see where she is on the flat," Josh offered.

"Okay. I think she would want to come back to work tomorrow, but she
will need actual rest in her condition. The stress can be dangerous,"
Donna said. "We'll take turns to be with her next week. You'll call
Stanley?"

"Yup, I think we might need to talk him too."

"Not me," Donna protested.

"I won't if you won't," Josh told her.

"Fine, be that way, but that's blackmailing, you know that, right?"
Donna asked him in a weary voice.

"Yeah, you can sue me later," Josh said with a smirk.

"No, but I might find some other punishments," Donna said, but her
actions contradicted her words as she squeezed his hand and leaned
over to kiss him. Josh was barely able to keep himself from uttering
some nonsense about liking his punishment. But then he thought better
of it, and kept his silence. Donna looked at him with a surprised look
in her eyes, letting Josh know that she expected an
`open-mouth-insert-foot' moment to follow. Josh shook his head,
letting her know that he was not going to say something like that. He
was rewarded with another kiss, and then they arrived at the hospital.

They were led to Annabeth's room, and Josh let out a sigh of relief
upon seeing her sleeping form. They both ventured in and stood next to
her bed, just watching her, both sporting a gentle smile.

"I'll talk to her doctor," Josh said at last. "See when she can leave
the hospital."

"Okay, I'll stay here with her," Donna said and shed her jacket. She
pulled a chair close to Annabeth's bed and settled down. Josh pressed
a kiss on the top of her head, leaned down to gave Annabeth a kiss too
and then left the room in search of the physician in charge. He
briefly wondered why the other three bags wasn't picked up, but then
decided to leave the solving of that mystery to Mike.

TBC



Title: A Future Worth Living For 15
Author: Joanna Lyman
Spoilers: Santos Administration
Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst
Disclaimer: I don't own any West Wing characters. This is just for
fun, so don't sue, I don't really have that much money anyways.
Rating: PG-13(but there might be later chapters rated R for language)
Summary: (Because I suck at summaries, you get a quote every time,
until I run out of them.)

"Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so
he can tell when he's in trouble." ~ Dennis Fakes

A/N: Previous chapters can be found on this list, message numbers
24456, 24465, 24476, 24489, 24571, 24604, 24657, 24787, 24800, 24810,
24851, 24899, 24900, 24909.

A/N #2: There will be an Epilogue sort of thing and then I'm done.
AU-land, here I come!

Thanks for all the fantastic feedback so far. If you like(d) the
story, just drop me a line, it would truly make my day better.

There is a flashback thingy happening in this one, it's between these:
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~

And now, on with the story:

******

Donna opened the door for him, and after shaking off his umbrella Josh
stepped in.

"Hi, honey," he greeted her and leaned over to kiss her. He used the
term of endearment more and more, and Donna got used to it. Josh had a
hunch that she even liked it. At least that's how he interpreted the
smile, which lit up her face every time he used the word.

"We have visitors." Donna's smile turned into a grin.

"Really?" Josh asked her incredulously. It was a rainy Sunday morning,
and he didn't expect to find guests in the living room when he came
home after an all-nighter at the West Wing. "Who is here?"

"The gang, Charlie, Zoey and Mike," Donna informed him.

"Charlie and Zoey?" Josh asked back as he toed off his shoes.

"Yeah, you know they care about Annabeth, you met them there quite
often," Donna said, and Josh had to agree. His fianc‚e mobilized the
cavalry after Annabeth was released from the hospital, and in the last
week there was always someone, who sat with her. Even the First Couple
offered their services. Jed and Abbey Bartlet came the day Josh and
Lou set Annabeth up in a hotel room and after their visit, Zoey and
Charlie visited too and they both offered Donna to share the task.
Josh had to admit Zoey was a great help, although Josh was worried
about young woman, the memories Annabeth's abduction jogged were not
pleasant ones for the daughter of the former President. "Are you
tired?" Donna asked him.

"I slept a few hours on the couch," Josh said.

"Good, we'll need your help," Donna said mysteriously and then led him
into the living room.

Josh had to resist the urge to recoil when he saw the mass of people
milling around in the living room. Apparently the gang consisted of
Margaret, Ginger, Lester, Otto, Bram, Sam and Ainsley. Ainsley,
Margaret and Ginger were holding cups and chatted about the food in
the White House Mess; Lester, Otto and Bram were watching CNN World
News while Charlie Zoey, Sam and Mike discussed something Josh wasn't
able to hear. Otto noticed him first.

"Hi, Josh," he greeted him. "Is everything okay at the White House?"

"Yep," Josh said. "Why are all these people in our living room,
Donna?" He turned to his fianc‚e.

"They all want to help," Donna told him.

"Help with what?"

"Mallory came by yesterday," Donna told him. "They were in town, and
she brought the key. She has the apartment ready. I went over to
Annabeth's, and Sam and Ainsley were there too. I told them the good
news, and Josh, you should have seen Annabeth. She got so excited. You
know how all the media types are camped outside her home."

"I know, that's why we set her up in that hotel room," Josh said.

"Yes, but Annabeth, quite understandably, misses her home, Josh,"
Donna went on.

"I know," Josh said, letting out a tired sigh. She and Annabeth talked
every day, even when he wasn't able to visit her, he called. She asked
him every time when she could go home. But he wasn't only worried
about the media but also about the kidnapper still at large. The woman
left the remaining three bags untouched, and after a lengthy debate
among the chiefs of the involved law enforcement agencies, they
withdrew the backpacks and the agents from the sites.

"Anyway, Annabeth doesn't know about this," Donna said, gesturing
around. "Sam collected the boys and Zoey, and I called Ginger and
Margaret. Ronna and Lou are going to join us later."

"Why do I have a sudden impulse to run?" Josh murmured under his
breath, and Ainsley, who stood closest, grinned up at him.

"Yep, we are going to paint and decorate," Donna said. "You'll see, it
will be good." Judging by her voice she tried to reassure and persuade
him at the same time.

"Paint?" Josh asked back.

"Just the nursery," Margaret reassured him.

"The rest of the flat is freshly painted," Donna added. "Courtesy of
Mallory."

"Yeah," Josh said non-committally. "You realize I have never in my
life painted a room."

"Yes, Josh," Sam said. "We realize. That's not why we need your help."

"Oh, you mean you need my Visa card?" he asked back with a grin.

"That too," Donna said with a sweet smile, "but we also need you to go
to the store with Ainsley and Margaret and buy nice furniture for the
baby."

"You mean while the rest of you paint the nursery and schlep
Annabeth's furniture across town?"

"Yup," Donna said with a smile.

"I love you so much I could..." Josh wanted to say, but Donna cut him off.

"We have an audience, Joshua," she warned him.

"Yeah-yeah," he said with a dismissive wave of his hand. The others
broke out in laughter.

"Okay, boys and girls, let's get down to work," Lester said and led
the gang out of the apartment.

"Hey, Mike, thanks for coming," Josh said, after Donna nudged him
closer to the FBI agent.

"I came because of Annabeth," Mike brushed him off and caught up with
Sam and Charlie. Yeah, they had a falling-out in Annabeth's hospital
room the afternoon the kidnapper let her go. They didn't speak too
much since then, except in official capacity. Josh didn't understand
why he acted the way he did, he knew it was standard law enforcement
procedure to get the account of the victims.

~~~~~~~

Mike stepped into the hospital room, and Josh greeted him with a nod.
Annabeth was awake but she looked very tired and scared. The first
time she opened her eyes, Josh's heart broke a little when he saw the
obvious pain and fear in them. She told him she felt better, but he
didn't quite believe her.

"Josh," Mike greeted him. "Ms. Schott."

"Mike," Josh returned the greeting. "Annabeth, this is Special Agent
Michael Casper," he introduced his friend, and then turned back to
him, "Did they pick up the rest of the bags?"

"No. Agent Butterfield, Director Kane and Assistant Director Peterson
decided I should call back my team. They are going to give you the
remaining money back," Mike reported.

"Okay," Josh said with a shrug of his shoulders. "Do you know
something new?"

"No, I'm here to hear Ms. Schott's account of the events," Mike said.

"Absolutely not," Josh protested.

"It's standard procedure, Josh," Mike told him.

"No way, Mike. She had one hell of a day, let her rest for a while,
then you can take her statement," Josh said.

"It's standard to hear it sooner than later, Josh," Mike explained.
"People tend to forget, embellish or downplay things. We have to do
this now."

"No, absolutely not," Josh persisted, glaring at his friend menacingly.

"Josh," Annabeth whispered. Both men whipped their head to her, in the
heat of the argument they almost forgot she was there.

"Yes?" Josh asked her in a gentle voice. He didn't want Mike to upset
her, and now it seemed he did just that. She looked up at him with
tears glistening in her eyes.

"I just want to get over with it," she said.

"Annabeth, you don't have to. I already asked a therapist to come talk
to you, I can call him and he can tell Mike to back off," Josh said,
taking Annabeth's hand into his.

"No, I just want to tell him. Maybe they can get her sooner this way,"
Annabeth told him.

"Are you sure?" Josh asked her for confirmation.

"Yes." Annabeth nodded.

"You want me to stay?" he asked.

"No, you'll get all worked up about it," Annabeth said with a sad smile.

"You don't have to be alone with him," Josh whispered.

"I'm not afraid of him," Annabeth assured him.

"I know, but still," Josh insisted.

"Who else is here?"

"Ainsley and Donna are in the cafeteria," Josh said.

"Both, please," Annabeth said.

Josh nodded and then gave Mike another threatening glare.

"I'm sending Ainsley Hayes and Donna up, you are going to wait for
them before you even ask a question," he said.

"Okay," Mike said in a cold voice.

~~~~~~~

And that was it. Ever since that morning Josh avoided Mike like a
Republican. Donna told him to get over it, call him and ask him over
for a beer, but Josh was a stubborn mule, so the status quo remained.
He learned only on Saturday that Mike was added to the roster Donna
drew up for organizing Annabeth's visitors, and only because Annabeth
picked up the phone laughing when he called over at lunch break. He
asked her who was there and she admitted that it was Mike. The FBI
agent talked to Donna after he heard the account of the events and
warned her not to let Annabeth alone in dark, confined rooms. The door
had to stay open and there had to be lights on. She was forced to
spend most of the time of her captivity in the trunk of a car and she
was traumatized by the treatment. Annabeth had been right; he got all
worked up about that. He wanted that person brought to justice as soon
as possible; he wanted her to feel just as scared and hurt as Annabeth
had been. They were pretty sure there was only one person involved,
probably that's why the other backpacks were left untouched. The FBI
had a hunch that it was someone with a White House connection, and
Josh had a hunch that it was actually someone from the White House.
The thought freaked him out, but it festered in his brain and he
couldn't help it.

And now he was going shopping with Ainsley and Margaret while the
others were painting the nursery. He thought about asking Mike to
accompany him and the two women on the shopping spree but then made up
his mind. Mike was probably the only one beside Charlie who actually
knew something about painting a room.

When they go back, the nursery was already painted and they brought
Annabeth's furniture over. Annabeth stood in the middle of the living
room and looked around enraptured.

"My new home," she sighed.

"Yeah," Josh said in agreement. "They are going to bring the baby
furniture here on Monday morning. We couldn't get someone to deliver
all the stuff."

"Josh, you shouldn't have," Annabeth told him while she hugged him.
"Thank you."

"Nothing to thank for, Annabeth," he said, leaned down and planted a
light kiss on her forehead.

"And they painted the nursery white and blue," Annabeth told him the
news.

"They?" Josh asked back.

"Well, Lester, Charlie and Mike," Donna explained. "We just chose the
colors."

"I like it. I bet the kiddo will like it too," Josh predicted.

"I certainly hope so," Annabeth said, placing her hand over her belly.

TBC



Title: A Future Worth Living For 16
Author: Joanna Lyman
Spoilers: Santos Administration
Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst
Disclaimer: I don't own any West Wing characters. This is just for
fun, so don't sue, I don't really have that much money anyways.
Rating: PG-13(but there might be later chapters rated R for language)

***
A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll
smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, AND THE
FUTURE WORTH LIVING FOR.
***

A/N: Previous chapters can be found on this list, message numbers
24456, 24465, 24476, 24489, 24571, 24604, 24657, 24787, 24800, 24810,
24851, 24899, 24900, 24909, 24924.

A/N #2: This is the last part folks, thanks for readin and thanks for
all the fantastic feedback so far. If you like(d) the story, just drop
me a line, it would truly make my day better.

******

"Josh, I swear to God if you don't get up in two minutes I'm going to
dump a glass of water on your head," Donna warned him from the kitchen.

"I'm up, I'm up," he hurried to reassure her and then turned around,
pulling the pillow over his face.

"Josh!" Donna shouted.

"Give me ten minutes, honey!" he whispered back, knowing well that
Donna couldn't hear him. He was really-really tired. Together with the
President and the Joint Chiefs, Josh pulled two all-nighters in a row
because there was a `situation' in Kazakhstan. Situations in
Kazakhstan started to become one continuous situation, so much so that
Josh wasn't even able to distinguish between situations as days of
mishaps turned into weeks of crises. But Arnie Vinick seemed to reach
a turning point last night. There was diplomatic success and there
were promises, and Josh made Lou a happy Communications Director for
the first time in a month when he met her before leaving the West Wing
for his much deserved sleep in his own bed. He was tired, so awfully
tired. But the day already begun, and although he climbed into bed
only four hours ago he knew he had to get up. He had to help Donna and
then get ready for the day at the White House.

"Josh!" Donna said in a gentle voice from the bedroom door.

"I'm getting up," Josh said, throwing back the pillow and slowly
sitting up. "I need to shower first."

"Okay, come to the kitchen then, I'll have breakfast ready. What would
you like to eat?"

"Bagel, coffee and OJ, please," Josh said.

"Okay," Donna said with a smile. "I know you had two long nights in a
row, Josh, but I really need your help if we want to be ready at one,"
she told him.

"I know, and I promise to hurry up. I'm just very tired," Josh said.

"We'll bring a blanket with us and you can take a nap," Donna said.

"I don't know. I don't want to give any more ammunition to the
President," Josh said and then entered the bathroom accompanied by
Donna's laughter.

Ten minutes later, he stepped into the kitchen, had breakfast, thanked
Donna for the coffee and then they started with the potato salad.

"We need to pick up Annabeth," Donna reminded him.

"I didn't know about that," Josh said.

"I might have forgotten to mention it, but I noticed her discomfort
when the President told us we could bring someone for the party,"
Donna said, "so I told her that we could go together."

"We sound pretty pathetic that we don't have anyone to bring," Josh said.

"I don't think so," Donna contradicted. "Our colleagues are our
friends, I call that lucky. And or other friends are unavailable."

"Yeah," Josh said and nodded. CJ and Danny were in California, and
Toby was still considered as `radioactive poison' so they couldn't
exactly invite him to a barbecuing in the Rose Garden of the White
House. Not that Toby would have liked to come. He wasn't exactly the
barbecuing type of guy. Josh briefly debated to invite Andie with Huck
and Molly but then he pictured Toby spending the day alone. He didn't
want that. He was already contemplating moving to New York in the
fall, he needed as much time with his kids as he got.

"Helen wanted to know if she could talk to you tomorrow," Donna said
while she started to prepare the Jell-O salad.

"Of course, but why didn't she give me a call?" Josh asked taken
aback. He thought his relationship with Helen Santos was more than
okay, he thought she liked him. He liked her very much. She gave Donna
a wonderful chance, she supported her husband and his agenda; she was
a terrific mom and a good friend.

"She wants to talk to you about something personal, Josh. Not as the
First Lady but rather as a friend," Donna told him, and Josh sighed
with relief. So Helen considered him as a friend too. That was good to
hear, but why would she need to meet with him? Why couldn't she tell
Donna and then Donna would meet with him. He thought about the
personal conversations he had with Annabeth and Ginger but then shook
his head. It won't be about that with Helen.

But the thought was entertaining enough to utter, "Okay, but she is
not pregnant, is she?"

He had his fair share of announced pregnancies since Inauguration,
first Annabeth then Ginger had `the talk' with him. He was still
getting over the one with Ginger. Josh didn't like changes, and
Ginger's announcement made him realized that like it or not he had to
train another assistant in the upcoming months. He was thankful that
Ginger told him in time, but they still weren't able to find someone
in the last two weeks, at least not someone whom Josh liked and
trusted enough. He wanted to ask Carol but he was soon reminded by
Donna that Carol was working in the East Wing as the First Lady's
social events coordinator. He asked Margaret too but she declined for
the same reason she already cited when he asked her first. She wanted
to put her son first, and working for the Chief of Staff was not
conducive to that.

Donna threw him an unfathomable look in response and then turned back
quickly to the task at hand; she was chopping pineapples for the
Jell-O salad.

"Holy Mother of..." Josh exclaimed.

"I hope that was a cry of joy, Josh," Donna remarked with a pointed
look and put the fruit pieces into the bowl.

"Of course," Josh hurried to correct his mistake. "But, Donna..."

"Yeah, I know. Just remember, she needs a friend, not the Chief of
Staff to the President of the United States," Donna said while picking
off the grapes from the stem.

"Is there something in the water at the White House?" Josh cracked a
joke, trying to win time in order to process the news.

"Annabeth got pregnant before we won the White House, Josh," Donna
corrected him dryly and handed him a bowl of apples.

He nodded and turned to peel the apples, deciding to let it rest until
Helen confirmed her pregnancy to him. He had to survive the day first.

"Bonnie!" he exclaimed while he was chopping the apples.

"My name is Donna, Joshua," Donna quipped while mixing the Jell-O
powder with water.

"No, I will ask Bonnie to come work for me," Josh said. "I know her, I
like her, and she is going to be my new assistant."

"Okay, I know that you can't pay attention to the minor details of
real life, Josh, but I need you to remember the last conversation you
had with Bonnie," Donna said.

Josh thought it was some time in the seventh year of the Bartlet
Administration but certainly he couldn't remember anymore. And then
something clicked. Yeah, he talked to Bonnie recently, just five days
ago.

"She is Ainsley's assistant," he stated with a sad look in his eyes.

"Yeah," Donna nodded.

"Well, Ainsley likes me," he said with a smirk.

"Sure, but not enough to part with her capable and effective
assistant," Donna said. "But you might want to delegate the convincing."

"To you?" Josh asked back.

"You have a deputy," Donna offered.

"Sam?" Josh asked back.

"Sure," Donna confirmed.

"Sam could convince Ainsley faster than me?" Josh asked to clarify.

"Sure," Donna repeated and nodded.

"What am I missing?" Josh asked back. "I mean they spend half the time
arguing with each other, and then there are witty little jabs and that
banter thing they got going... Ainsley and Sam?" he asked Donna, finally
coming to the realization that Sam might really be luckier with
convincing Ainsley than he.

"Yup," Donna said while she poured the liquid over the fruit pieces in
the bowl.

"When, how, where?" Josh demanded to know.

"Well, it was gradual, but they are not dating. Yet," she added then
with a grin.

"But... She is a Republican!" he exclaimed.

"Josh, not two minutes ago you told me you liked Ainsley," Donna
reprimanded him.

"Sure, but not enough to marry her," Josh said.

"I would hope so," Donna remarked with a pointed look.

"Even if I weren't happily married," he said, giving her a little kiss
on the lips, "I don't think I could ever..."

"You couldn't, you are too monomaniacal for that," Donna said. "That's
why you got me."

"No, I got you because I love you and you love me," he said and then
gave her another kiss.

"You are sweet," Donna complimented him after the kiss. "Besides, they
don't even date; I don't think they are going to marry soon."

"Sam is that hopelessly optimistic. And the `Being a Republican' thing
aside, Ainsley is the type of girl who would accept him the way he is.
For what he is."

"Exactly. So when they decide to date we should show our support for
them," Donna suggested.

"Sure thing. But I can support Sam even if I mock him for dating a
Republican, right?" Josh said with a grin that he knew always won
Donna over.

"Yeah, I guess so," Donna said, waving resignedly.

"Thank you," Josh said, giving her a big kiss on the cheek. "I have a
brilliant idea," he announced after Donna put the Jell-O salad into
the refrigerator.

"Should I even ask?" Donna queried mockingly.

"I could ask Ollie to pick up Annabeth in four hours and then bring
her here, and we could climb back into bed until then," Josh said.

"I know you are tired," Donna said, after giving her husband a kiss.
"You can go back to bed; I'll take my laptop into your office and
write the weekly emails to our moms."

"Yeah, you could do that or you could join me in bed. It's no fun
without your there," Josh whined.

"I thought you were tired," Donna said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, but I also missed having you in my arms the last two nights,"
Josh said.

"You are..."

"Anything but sweet, please," Josh begged her after rolling his eyes.

"You are sexy, and I love you so much," Donna whispered into his ear,
making him shiver with anticipation.

They arrived at the White House on time. The Rose Garden was packed
with staffers. Sam was guarding the grill with the President; Lou was
talking to Ainsley and Lester. Carol and Margaret were chatting
quietly in a corner, watching with a smile as Miranda was hugging and
kissing Margaret's son. Bram and Otto were passing out the beer, and
Helen Santos had been talking to Ronna and Edie, but as soon as she
saw them enter, she made her way over to the grill.

"Annabeth!" the President exclaimed and hugged the petite blonde
gently. "How are you on this fine day?"

"Thank you, sir, I feel okay given the circumstances," Annabeth said,
referring to the fact that she was due in twenty-two days. "This is
for you," she handed him the Flag Cake she made.

"This looks fantastic, Annabeth!" Helen said, taking the cake from her
husband.

"Thank you, ma'am," Annabeth said.

"Josh, stay with us," the President said, seeing that the women walked
off towards Ainsley and Lou.

"Yes, sir," Josh complied. "Sam, how are you today?"

"Okay, I guess," Sam said honestly. Josh liked that trait in Sam. His
friend once told him if he didn't want to know how he was he shouldn't
ask for it. And sometimes-but really only once or twice a month-Josh
didn't ask. Sam understood, and Josh liked that too. He was really
glad to have his best friend back.

"Is there something troubling you?" Josh asked, putting his arm around
Sam's shoulders.

"No, not really. I just feel restless," Sam said.

"I told him to relax, it's a day off," Matt Santos threw in.

"Listen to the President, Sam, he knows what he is talking about,"
Josh said. "On the other hand, you might want to ask her out, maybe
that would make the relaxation part easier."

"Ask her out?" Sam asked back flabbergasted.

"Whom?" Santos asked at the same moment.

"Ainsley," Josh said simply. "And yes," he added after turning to Sam,
"just ask her out."

"Okay," Sam agreed quickly much to the President's and Josh's
amusement. He stalked off to Bram and Otto while Josh and Santos
watched him moving.

"How come I didn't see that coming?"

"I didn't either," Josh confessed with a grin. "Donna gave me a hint."

"Really?" Santos asked. "Listen, Josh, we should talk about something
personal tomorrow, and I..."

"Your wife already asked for a meeting, Mr. President," Josh hurried
to reassure him.

"I didn't know about that," Santos said.

"Yeah, she asked Donna to ask me. And then I asked back jokingly if
Helen wanted to tell me the same as Annabeth and Ginger. You should
have seen Donna's face, sir," he said, grinning up at the President.

"I can imagine," the President said with a laugh.

"I would congratulate you, sir," Josh said with a little shrug, "but
it would draw too much attention to us. Nevertheless, you should know
that I'm really happy for both of you."

"Thanks, Josh," Santos replied. "Hey, Sam was telling me campaign
stories. You never told me how you met Donna."

"She might be willing to tell you about that, sir," Josh said. "Did
Sam tell you how CJ's interview with Toby went?"

"No, he just told me how you forgot the law firm's name he was working
for," came the President good-natured jab.

"Yeah, but I got Sam at the end," Josh said, a reminiscent look on his
face. "So, CJ and Toby," he started and told the President the story.
How CJ was fired and then fell into the pool. At the end of the story,
the President was howling with laughter.

"The CJ I knew was completely stressed and not much fun to be around,"
he confessed to Josh then. "She was still witty, but something was
missing."

"Yeah, being Chief of Staff to the President of the United States does
that to you. On top of it, she had to fight with Hutchinson and
sometimes the Joint Chiefs. And there was the MS attack during the
China trip. And then Toby's mess. She had a much harder job than I. I
understood then and even better now."

"But you learned your lesson well," Santos said.

"I learned that I have to have friends and people who love me around
me and then I'm going to be okay. They will remind me what is really
important and they will make sure that I'm okay even if I protest when
they try to `handle' me," Josh admitted with a self-deprecating smile.

"Ginger just called Ronna." Ronna came over to them. "They are stuck
at DuPont Circle."

"Again?" Josh asked her. "You would think an FBI agent could navigate
around the town he has been living for over ten years better, don't
you?" he asked the President then.

"They are having a matinee?" Ronna asked.

"Matinee?" the President asked.

"You don't want to know, sir," Josh said, not wanting to tell his boss
about the minute-by-minute accounting of the President's actions,
called the tick-tock.

"Josh," the President said with a sigh. "You know I'm thirsty for
knowledge."

"Well, sir, with all due respect, but that sounded rather dorky," Josh
tried for misdirection and grinned up at Santos.

"Well, I noticed that that oval-shaped office brings out my dorky
tendencies," the President admitted with a matching grin.

"You know we keep your days minute-by-minute," Josh asked him.

"Yes?" the President said, lengthening the `s', indicating that he was
waiting for the explanation.

"You know when you and the First Lady... You know," Josh stuttered and
then gestured around.

"We have matinees?" Santos asked with a frown.

"That's what we call the extracurricular activities during the day,"
Ronna told him, and Josh looked up at him with trepidation. He didn't
know what kind of reaction should he count on, but the President just
gave them a sheepish grin.

"So we can safely assume that historians will know just how much I
love my wife," he said.

"That remark could earn you a `you are so sweet, Matthew' from Helen,"
Josh said with an impertinent grin.

The President only responded with a glare, but Josh was happy to
finally have something on Santos, usually it was the other way. After
that they both tended to burgers on the grill. They talked about
Kazakhstan for a bit, but Helen put a stop to that when she wandered
over. Ginger and Mike arrived fifteen minutes later, and Mike joined
Josh and the President at the grill.

"DuPont Circle again, Mike?" Josh mocked his friend. Their
relationship was repaired when Annabeth's kidnapper was seized. It
turned out that it was Jessica's, Josh's former typist's, lover, who
wanted to get revenge on Josh for transferring Jessica out of the
Chief of Staff's office. The relatively speedy trial ended two weeks
prior to Independence Day, and Pamela Thorne was sentenced to life
long prison.

"Yes, you see... I... We...." Mike was clearly flustered.

"They call it a matinee when the President of the United States does
that with the First Lady," the President helped him.

"Actually it's just in your case. The Bartlets were `barbecuing,'"
Josh informed him, eliciting a laugh from Santos.

He couldn't believe his eyes, but Mike was actually blushing. Ginger
came over to apologize for their lateness, and she brought a beer each
for the President and Mike.

"I don't get any?" Josh asked taken aback.

"Not on my watch," Ginger said, "I don't want Donna be mad at me," she
explained.

"I only had one beer so far," Josh grumbled.

"Get over it, boss," Ginger said.

"That reminds me. I have to talk to Sam, he has to convince Ainsley to
let Bonnie go," Josh told them and left the little group.

Donna intercepted him and didn't let him go near Sam and Ainsley until
they finished their Independence Day meal. When the women pulled out
the blankets, Josh sauntered over to Ainsley and Sam, who were sharing
Ainsley's big checkered blanket. He pulled Sam away for two minutes,
letting him know what he wanted him to accomplish.

"And you think I could convince her of that?" Sam asked back.

"Yup," Josh said with a smile. "But even more Donna thinks that too."

"Okay," Sam agreed.

"Thanks," Josh said and then walked back to their blanket.

"There was only one President born on the 4th of July," Donna said
loud enough for everyone to hear. Sam and Josh let out a groan in
response; Ginger, Margaret and Carol only smiled indulgently.

"Really?" President Santos asked back interested.

"Yes, sir," Josh said, "it was Calvin Coolidge."

"And how do you know that, Josh?" Santos asked him.

"I live together with a trivia buff, sir," Josh said with a grin
complete with dimples. He hoped his dimples would soften Donna's frown.

"Are there any more interesting facts about July 4?" Santos asked.

"Sir, I beg of you," Josh said in a low voice, making everyone grin.

"The Republic of Hawaii was proclaimed on this day in 1894," Donna
imparted.

"Anything more?"

"Josh's former favorite act was signed into law on this day in 1966 by
President Lyndon B. Johnson," Donna said.

"The Freedom of Information Act!" Sam exclaimed.

"Yeah, I was a professional hostile witness for Claypool for a while,"
Josh explained to the President when he looked at him questioningly.

"I met Claypool once or twice," Santos said with a shudder. "Something
else, Donna? Make it pretty interesting, it's your last, judging by
the look on Josh's face."

"In 1855 Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass was published on this day,"
Donna said.

"That can't be true," Sam called over.

"Why not?" Josh asked while Donna smiled mysteriously.

"Because Leaves of Grass has `O, Captain! My Captain!' in homage to
Lincoln, and he wrote that after the President died," Sam explained.

"That section was added later," Donna said. "Originally the book
contained only 12 poems, by the time its last version got published in
1891 it had nearly 400 poems."

"Sam, just give up," Josh suggested.

"I really should," he mumbled.

Donna then convinced Sam to recite the poem. By the time he was done
with it, Josh was already asleep. Fortunately the same happened to the
President so Josh had no reason to fear any more mocking remarks from
Matt Santos. He woke up two hours later, finding Helen and Ginger next
to their blanket. They were obviously talking about babies. Donna was
listening enraptured, and Josh decided to watch her for a while before
letting her know that he was awake. But he couldn't keep quiet for
long, so after two minutes he decided to sit up and rubbed his eyes.
He looked around and spotted Annabeth alone on her blanket, eating
Jell-O salad. He went over to her to keep her company.

"You really shouldn't eat that thing," Josh said. "You are going to
visit a hospital soon; they'll have Jell-O in every flavor and shape."

"Yeah, I know, but I like this combination. It's grapes, pineapples
and apples with the lemon Jell-O."

"Actually, it's lemon and lime Jell-O together," Josh said. "Donna
made it."

"It's good," Annabeth complimented and then her face contorted for a
moment.

"What's wrong?" Josh asked worried. "Does it taste bad? There might be
an apple or..."

"No, it's not the Jell-O, Josh," Annabeth said in a whisper.

"What is it then?" Josh asked impatiently.

"Contractions," Annabeth said.

"You are having the baby?"

"I'm absolutely not having this baby today!" Annabeth screeched.

"You are having the baby and you didn't tell me!" Josh accused her.
"Donna, call Ollie, we are going to GW!"

"Josh, I'm not having this kid today," Annabeth insisted.

"Why the hell not?" Josh asked back, getting louder himself.

"I don't want to saddle her with this birthday!" Annabeth shouted back.

"Like it or not, you are having this baby today. And now, let me take
care of you."

"Josh, I don't want you to leave the party before the fireworks,"
Annabeth said. "In fact, I don't want to leave before the fireworks."

"That's tough, Annabeth," Josh said, his voice indicating that he
would not tolerate any protests.

"I'm not having this baby today!"

THE END