Title: In the Beginning
Rating: Fluff
Disclaimer: Not mine, please don't sue.
Feedback: Always appreciated.
AN: I've always wanted to write this. You can also read it on my
website at www.geocities.com/annemflynn

Bartlet for America Headquarters
April 1998, 1 a.m.

"We're the only two left, Donnatella." Josh noted straddling a chair
next to the desk she'd commandeered to make sense out of the stack of
paperwork on his desk that had accumulated while she was away.

"Really?" she asked surprised. "What time is it?"

"It's just about one. Don't you think we should call it a night?"

"We leave for Texas in two days and you've managed in three weeks to
undo everything I did." Donna replied. "What was this? Rebellion over
my leaving?"

He shrugged, now resting his elbow on the chair back and his chin in
his hand. "What hotel are you in? I'll take you back."

"I'm not." she replied.

"Okay. You can stay on the couch at our place."

"Josh, I don't think that'd be very appropriate." Donna said
sheepishly.

"Why? It's me, Sam, Toby and CJ." Josh replied. "Not to mention, CJ
would kick my ass if she found out you slept in my office." He stood
up and stretch out his back then held a hand down to her. "Come on."

He helped her up and carried her bags out to his car as she hobbled
along behind him. Then he helped her into the house that they had
been renting for the duration of the campaign. It depressed Donna to
think that here the four of them had the money to rent this huge
house in New Hampshire and hardly spend any time there, while she
tried to figure out how to survive on her meager budget. At least
this time, her parents loaned her money, so she was a little better
off. But she didn't admit to him that she didn't get a hotel room for
the night because she wasn't sure he was going to take her back. If
he didn't, she was just going to turn right around and start driving
back.

The house was dark, indicating that others were already in bed. She
flopped down onto the couch as Josh pulled out a pillow and blanket
out of the hall closet and brought it over to her. Then he walked
into the kitchen and grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator. When he
came back into the living room, he saw the bathroom light on and
assumed she was getting changed. He opened the beer and sat down on
the couch, feeling relaxed for the first time since she left three
weeks ago. It had been a completely hellish three weeks for him. CJ
had demanded just that morning that he get his head out of his ass
and stop moping around. Five minutes after she made that comment,
Donna had hobbled back in. She looked destroyed and he almost hugged
her on the spot. It was pretty easy to figure out what had happened.

She walked out of that bathroom wearing flannel pants and a tight t-
shirt, and sat down next to him, pulling the blanket over
herself. "We can share, unless you're looking to get drunk." he said
handing the bottle over to her. She took a long sip from him and
handed it back. She didn't realize it until she was driving back, but
she had really missed him. In the short time that she'd known him, he
had turned out to be a valuable friend. True, he teased her
mercilessly, especially about being from Wisconsin, but he made her
feel important.

"Okay." he sighed. "I've laid off it all day. What happened to your
foot?"

"I slipped on the ice on the front walk." she said softly.

"Ice in April?" he asked doubtfully.

"It was a late thaw." she replied automatically. She didn't know if
he bought it or not, but at the moment, he was letting it go by.

She felt the hot tears forming in her eyes and she dropped her head
on his shoulder. She was mortified by her action for a brief moment,
but when he put his arm around her and rubbed her shoulder, she
allowed herself to cry.

"I'm hopeless, aren't I?" she demanded wiping her eyes. "I'm 24 and
hopeless."

"You're not hopeless." he replied. "Why would you think that?"

"I'm impossible at relationships." she replied. "I'm way too
dependent. I'm naive. I'm indecisive. I'm never going to get anywhere
in my life. I'm impulsive."

"Did HE tell you this?" Josh demanded.

"It's true, isn't it?"

"No." he stated turning his head towards her, but with her head still
on his shoulder, he ended up leaning his head against hers. "I'm the
senior campaign strategist for a campaign for the presidency. For the
five weeks you were here before, I was organized, on time, almost
pleasant to be around, but these last three weeks, ask CJ, I've been
a nightmare. Ask anyone, they'll tell you. Everyone breathed a big
sigh of relief when you walked in the door this morning."

"Then why doesn't he want me?" she whispered. She had picked up her
head and looked right at him. Josh sighed. It actually hurt to look
at her right now. She was so broken and vulnerable right now, it
actually broke his heart to see.

"Because he's an idiot."

She smiled at him and dropped her head back onto this
shoulder. "Mandy's very lucky."

"Turns out you weren't the only one that broke up with someone in the
last three weeks." Josh volunteered sipping the beer.

"Really? You and Mandy?"

"You sound surprised." Josh replied. "You thought we were good
together?"

"No." Donna confessed. "I thought you were a match made in hell. I
thought you thought you were good together."

"We'd done nothing but fight since February." Josh said. "I guess
she'd finally had it."

"So, you're the dumpee."

"I usually am." Josh replied. "It's easier that way. My first
relationship ever, I was the dumpor, and I felt awful after it. I did
the right thing, but I broke her heart and I couldn't stand it. Now,
I make sure I'm the dumpee. It's my last gift in a relationship."

"Why'd you break up?" Donna asked taking another sip of the beer.

"You."

"Me?" she asked sitting up. "What'd I do?"

"Nothing." he explained. "But she accused me of having a crush on you
and not being committed to the relationship."

"I don't know what to think about that." Donna confessed. "I'm really
kind of beside myself right now."

"There's nothing to think about it. It's what she thought." he
shrugged.

"I wonder why she would think that?" she asked scrunching up her
forehead. Josh smiled as he watched her expression. She was truly
perplexed by this. She really was naive, he thought. But he didn't
see it as a bad thing. Everyone had seen the way they flirt and
banter back and forth. He was sure that they had given Mandy, and
everyone else, plenty of reasons to think that.

"It's a mystery, Donnatella."

She took the beer back from him and took another sip before handing
it back to him and he grinned. This was probably one of those
reasons.

"It's because I'm too trusting." she said. She sounded so resigned
and rejected he almost hugged her.

"That's not necessarily a bad thing."

"What if we get to the White House?" she replied. "Will it be a bad
thing then?"

"First of all, we ARE going to get to the White House." Josh
replied. "I didn't leave the sure thing for the real thing for
nothing." She gave him a strange look as she took another sip of
beer. "What's the look for?"

"I've spent too much time around you, that actually made sense." she
replied handing the beer back to him.

"Of course it did."

"How can you be so sure we'll win?" she asked.

"Because I'm brilliant." he replied.

"This state's not big enough for your ego."

"It's a good thing we'll be in Texas in two days then." he countered
taking a sip from the bottle, then putting the empty bottle on the
table next to the couch.

"What were we talking about before me?"

"Trust."

"Right. Trust." he said picking the thread back up again.

"Hold that thought." Donna said standing up. "I'm going to go get
more beer." She ran into the kitchen and returned momentarily, but
this time with two beers. She sat one on the table next to them, and
opened the other. She took a sip and passed it over to him. "Okay."
she said "Trust."

"Right. You can trust whoever you want." he said. "I don't trust
anyone, so we'll be an even balance."

"Really?" she smiled. "You'll take me with you?"

"What?" he asked incredulously. "Of course I'll take you with me. Who
else is going to work with me?"

"I don't know." she shrugged. "Someone with a college degree. I'm
sure someone more qualified than me is going to apply for the
position."

"Only the jobs that aren't filled will be posted." Josh
explained. "The senior staff will be filled, and I'll tell Leo I want
you. I highly doubt he'll object. Mrs. Landingham will stay with the
governor, so that position will be filled and not posted; Margaret
will stay with Leo, so that position will be filled and not posted;
and you'll stay with me."

"Okay." she smiled. "But you should know, I'm not going to bring you
coffee."

"You should know, I'll expect you to call me in the morning and wake
my ass up."

"That's a fair trade." she accepted. "Will I have to work weekends?"

"Probably a bunch of them." She stopped to consider that.

"What do I get for giving up my weekends?"

"A paycheck."

"That's it?"

"I'll buy you shoes on the weekends I make you work."

"You will?" He nodded. "Is Washington an expensive city to live in?"

"Yes. I'll help you find a roommate. Maybe someone else from the
campaign will be looking for a roommate, too."

"Will I meet interesting men in Washington?"

"No." he answered immediately. "Politicians are slimy and a lot of
them are criminals."

"Aren't there men who live in Washington that AREN'T politicians?"
she asked.

"I don't really know." he replied.

"There are schools, and hospitals, and stores, and courts and stuff,
right?"

"Oh, yeah."

"So it stands to reason that there would be interesting teachers and
doctors and lawyers there, right?"

"First of all, stay the hell away from the doctors for a while." he
replied. "Secondly..." He drifted off and didn't finish his sentence.
Donna sat looking expectantly at him.

"What?" she asked.

"What?"

"Secondly what?"

"Nothing." he said breaking her gaze and looking down at the beer
bottle before taking a sip.

"Josh?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't you think if we're going to work together that you're going to
have to trust me?"

"I do trust you."

"You do?"

"Absolutely."

"You said you didn't trust anyone."

"You're not just anyone."

She settled herself back onto his shoulder and pulled the blanket up
to her chin, wiggling to get comfortable underneath. When she
couldn't get comfortable like that, she shifted and laid her head on
his thigh.

"Do you mind me laying here?"

"No."

"It's not weird?"

"Doesn't feel weird." Without much thought, he dropped his hand down
to her hair, lightly stroking it out of her face.

"Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"This is probably why Mandy thinks that, huh?"

"Probably."

"Should we be this way?"

"Probably not."

"Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't really care what Mandy thinks."

"Neither do I."

She closed her eyes and sighed against the gentle, soothing movements
of his hand. She knew in that moment that she made the right decision
coming back here, coming back to him. She knew that once she got back
here, he'd make it better. Just being in his presence again gave her
confidence in herself. Yes, she felt like a naive, young twit when
she walked back into his office, but he didn't give her one ounce of
grief. He just said, "Thank God, there's a pile of stuff on the
desk." She knew that he'd eventually ask her about it, but he somehow
knew that she needed to feel needed then. She needed to feel
validated and like she had something to offer, so he put her right to
work.

"Donnatella?" he asked softly.

"Hmm?"

"Whatever happens, just please don't break my heart."

"I promise, Joshua." she murmured and drifted off to sleep.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~